1
00:00:02,213 --> 00:00:03,726
<i>ALLY:
Previously on Ally McBeal:</i>
2
00:00:04,013 --> 00:00:05,651
- Do you want to get dinner?
- Sure.
3
00:00:05,893 --> 00:00:10,125
<i>ALLY: I accepted my very first date
with an old person.</i>
4
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:13,166
- What if you give him a heart attack?
- He's in shape.
5
00:00:13,373 --> 00:00:14,772
Mid-fifties isn't that old.
6
00:00:15,013 --> 00:00:16,605
He's a fossil.
7
00:00:16,813 --> 00:00:20,169
- I'm looking for Tracy.
- Oh, she moved to Foxborough.
8
00:00:20,373 --> 00:00:23,126
- Foxborough?
- You wouldn't be Ally McBeal?
9
00:00:23,373 --> 00:00:26,968
All your life you've been attracted
to people who make you crazy.
10
00:00:27,173 --> 00:00:29,687
- What's your point?
- Stay away from the therapist.
11
00:00:29,893 --> 00:00:32,043
I'm not a therapist. I'm a lawyer.
12
00:00:32,493 --> 00:00:34,484
It says "Attorney at Law" on the door.
13
00:00:34,693 --> 00:00:36,251
You're a lawyer?
14
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:39,650
I know I shouldn't be hitting on you,
but you're so cute.
15
00:00:39,853 --> 00:00:41,366
What can I say? I'm a man.
16
00:00:41,573 --> 00:00:42,801
I'm really a man.
17
00:00:43,813 --> 00:00:44,848
Hold me close.
18
00:00:48,493 --> 00:00:52,168
<i>ALLY: It's always the case. When
you meet one man, they all come out.</i>
19
00:00:52,413 --> 00:00:54,973
- I'm Jonathan.
- Ally. McBeal.
20
00:00:55,173 --> 00:00:57,323
- Do you want to get dinner?
- I'd love to.
21
00:00:57,893 --> 00:01:00,532
- What are you saying?
- What I'm saying is...
22
00:01:00,933 --> 00:01:02,844
...I can't see you...
23
00:01:03,853 --> 00:01:06,083
...as anything other than a woman.
24
00:01:08,933 --> 00:01:11,322
A woman I want to continue to see.
25
00:01:11,573 --> 00:01:13,848
Ally? My son, Jonathan.
26
00:01:15,813 --> 00:01:19,249
<i>- Hi.
ALLY: I never got his last name.</i>
27
00:01:21,493 --> 00:01:22,528
Your son?
28
00:01:23,453 --> 00:01:25,171
Uh, ah, Dad?
29
00:01:25,773 --> 00:01:28,765
Well, um... What?
30
00:01:29,013 --> 00:01:32,050
Oh, my God!
31
00:01:33,013 --> 00:01:35,732
<i>ALLY: This is where I wish
I had one of those remotes...</i>
32
00:01:35,973 --> 00:01:40,091
<i>... that could reset time
about 15 seconds. The "poise" delay.</i>
33
00:01:43,653 --> 00:01:45,086
Here's your brother.
34
00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:48,166
Ally, this is my son, Jonathan.
35
00:01:48,413 --> 00:01:49,402
I think we've met.
36
00:01:49,613 --> 00:01:51,763
Met? We've been on a date together.
37
00:01:52,013 --> 00:01:53,241
Hello again.
38
00:01:53,493 --> 00:01:55,723
- You what?
- Well, now it makes sense.
39
00:01:55,973 --> 00:02:00,091
I've been thinking, "How could
I have met two men in the same week...
40
00:02:00,293 --> 00:02:03,126
...who resemble each other
in such flattering ways?"
41
00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:04,846
Now I understand. How funny.
42
00:02:05,053 --> 00:02:08,011
<i>ALLY: But not having
one of those remotes...</i>
43
00:02:08,733 --> 00:02:12,646
Oh. I totally have to pee.
44
00:02:13,693 --> 00:02:15,172
<i>VONDA SINGS:
I've been down this road</i>
45
00:02:16,693 --> 00:02:18,684
Without A Net
46
00:02:18,813 --> 00:02:22,852
<i>Walking the line
That's painted by pride</i>
47
00:02:23,413 --> 00:02:25,688
<i>And I have made mistakes in my life</i>
48
00:02:25,933 --> 00:02:29,608
<i>That I just can 't hide</i>
49
00:02:30,213 --> 00:02:32,807
<i>Oh, I believe I am ready</i>
50
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:36,762
<i>For what love has to bring</i>
51
00:02:37,373 --> 00:02:39,887
<i>I got myself together</i>
52
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:44,325
<i>Yeah, now I'm ready to sing</i>
53
00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:47,724
<i>I've been searching my soul tonight</i>
54
00:02:47,973 --> 00:02:51,283
<i>I know there's so much more to life</i>
55
00:02:51,493 --> 00:02:54,291
<i>Now I know I can shine a light</i>
56
00:02:54,533 --> 00:02:57,889
<i>To find my way back home</i>
57
00:02:59,293 --> 00:03:02,683
<i>Oh, baby, yeah</i>
58
00:03:03,053 --> 00:03:05,726
<i>Oh, yeah</i>
59
00:03:21,693 --> 00:03:24,605
<i>ALLY: One day I will look back
at this and laugh.</i>
60
00:03:25,653 --> 00:03:29,646
<i>Or cry. One or the other,
I'm sure of it.</i>
61
00:03:29,853 --> 00:03:31,252
WOMAN:
Ally?
62
00:03:32,013 --> 00:03:34,447
Kimmie. Kimmie Bishop.
63
00:03:34,813 --> 00:03:36,326
Kimmie...
64
00:03:36,573 --> 00:03:38,370
- Hi!
- How are you?
65
00:03:38,573 --> 00:03:39,642
Oh, I'm great.
66
00:03:40,533 --> 00:03:43,047
Ally McBeal, the girls.
Girls, Ally.
67
00:03:43,253 --> 00:03:45,005
I am here with the officers...
68
00:03:45,213 --> 00:03:47,932
...of the Women of Virtue Bar Chapter
of Massachusetts.
69
00:03:48,173 --> 00:03:49,652
Of which I'm president.
70
00:03:49,893 --> 00:03:53,010
That's fantastic!
God, after all these years.
71
00:03:53,573 --> 00:03:57,043
Ally was voted "Biggest Prude"
three years running.
72
00:03:57,253 --> 00:03:58,527
Actually, two.
73
00:03:58,853 --> 00:04:01,651
I tried to recruit her
for our Christian Coalition...
74
00:04:01,853 --> 00:04:03,844
...but she wouldn't commit.
I thought:
75
00:04:04,053 --> 00:04:07,762
"We have to get her.
She is poster material. " Am I wrong?
76
00:04:08,013 --> 00:04:11,323
Well, I almost joined.
Especially when you promised me...
77
00:04:11,533 --> 00:04:13,888
...that free spermicide
underneath the table.
78
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:16,283
But when I went down there
to get it...
79
00:04:16,493 --> 00:04:18,848
...I found you munching away
on my boyfriend.
80
00:04:22,013 --> 00:04:25,528
- Ally was always such a kidder.
- I'd love to stay and chat.
81
00:04:26,213 --> 00:04:28,727
But I'm on a date
with a father and son team.
82
00:04:28,933 --> 00:04:31,811
And tonight they brought
the sister, which...
83
00:04:32,013 --> 00:04:33,969
Well, things could get really wild.
84
00:04:37,853 --> 00:04:41,129
Hi. What did I miss?
85
00:04:41,373 --> 00:04:43,329
Well, obviously, we have...
86
00:04:43,573 --> 00:04:47,452
...a rather impossible situation,
but I...
87
00:04:48,573 --> 00:04:51,246
I'm going to remove myself
from the equation.
88
00:04:51,653 --> 00:04:53,086
Dad, I'm opting out. Okay?
89
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:54,846
I won't date a woman...
90
00:04:55,093 --> 00:04:57,812
...who harbors interest in my son.
- Like I want a girl...
91
00:04:58,013 --> 00:05:01,085
...who's got the hots for my dad?
- Men my age don't get hots.
92
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:04,131
Come on, Dad.
You sang Neil Diamond to her.
93
00:05:04,373 --> 00:05:05,488
Jonathan, forget it.
94
00:05:05,893 --> 00:05:08,930
- Do I get an opinion in all of this?
- Of course.
95
00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:10,532
Like you say, obviously...
96
00:05:10,773 --> 00:05:15,324
...we have some pretty
unusual circumstances.
97
00:05:15,533 --> 00:05:16,886
I'm sorry, I've gotta go.
98
00:05:19,293 --> 00:05:23,047
I'm sorry, Ally. Maybe some guys
could get past this, but...
99
00:05:23,693 --> 00:05:25,843
...he is my son, and...
100
00:05:27,253 --> 00:05:30,689
I'm sorry, I think I need
some time too. I apologize.
101
00:05:39,613 --> 00:05:42,411
- So they both dumped you?
- Well, sort of.
102
00:05:42,773 --> 00:05:44,650
I wouldn't want to go out
with a guy...
103
00:05:44,853 --> 00:05:46,605
...who was interested in my mother.
104
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:47,802
That's different.
105
00:05:48,013 --> 00:05:51,642
Your mother's an old wrinkly thing.
Michael's at least half cute.
106
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,487
- For a relic.
- I think these slumber parties...
107
00:05:54,693 --> 00:05:56,092
...have served their purpose.
108
00:05:56,293 --> 00:05:59,046
- I don't see why you can't date both.
- Excuse me?
109
00:05:59,253 --> 00:06:01,084
NELLE: I agree.
We've all sat in this room...
110
00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:03,244
...belaboring the dearth of good men.
111
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,563
You've met two,
and neither are married.
112
00:06:06,173 --> 00:06:08,289
NELLE:
The relationship poses obstacles...
113
00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:12,446
...to you having a relationship
with either, but it isn't prohibitive.
114
00:06:12,693 --> 00:06:14,843
And in light of the dearth...
115
00:06:15,053 --> 00:06:15,963
[DOORBELL RINGS]
116
00:06:20,053 --> 00:06:21,042
[SHIVERS]
117
00:06:22,653 --> 00:06:23,768
Oh.
118
00:06:27,893 --> 00:06:30,327
- Jonathan.
- Please, don't say anything.
119
00:06:30,573 --> 00:06:34,009
I apologize for walking out.
But I was pretty...
120
00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:36,206
...well, devastated.
121
00:06:36,493 --> 00:06:40,645
I've never met somebody where
I felt such an innate connection.
122
00:06:40,853 --> 00:06:43,526
I wanted to make love to you
as soon as I saw you...
123
00:06:43,733 --> 00:06:44,927
...sitting at that table.
124
00:06:45,173 --> 00:06:46,925
- Even looking at you now...
- Jonathan.
125
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,641
Please, I need to say this.
I just came here...
126
00:06:49,853 --> 00:06:52,492
...to make sure that you know
that me walking away...
127
00:06:52,693 --> 00:06:55,253
...had nothing to do
with being indifferent...
128
00:06:55,573 --> 00:06:57,962
Can I ask you one thing?
129
00:06:59,173 --> 00:07:01,846
- Before you do...
- No, just let me ask. Do you...
130
00:07:02,133 --> 00:07:04,806
...like my father
because he's a great guy?
131
00:07:05,853 --> 00:07:09,163
Or are you really attracted
to him sexually?
132
00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:12,161
[MUMBLES]
133
00:07:16,253 --> 00:07:18,448
Can I get back to you on that?
134
00:07:19,533 --> 00:07:20,648
Yeah, um...
135
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,246
I wish you would.
136
00:07:38,213 --> 00:07:41,649
<i>ALLY: It brings me comfort knowing
everything happens for a reason.</i>
137
00:07:41,893 --> 00:07:44,726
<i>It would just be nice once
to be let in on it.</i>
138
00:07:44,973 --> 00:07:48,045
MAN: Hey!
- I'm walking here.
139
00:07:49,013 --> 00:07:50,651
You!
140
00:07:53,853 --> 00:07:54,842
Kimmie.
141
00:07:55,053 --> 00:07:57,613
You humiliated me
in front of my friends.
142
00:07:57,813 --> 00:07:59,166
People who look up to me.
143
00:07:59,373 --> 00:08:00,488
Oh.
144
00:08:00,693 --> 00:08:04,447
Oh, Kimmie, I'm so sorry. I had no
idea that they looked up to you.
145
00:08:04,653 --> 00:08:07,531
I'm disappointed you've become
such a coarse person.
146
00:08:08,213 --> 00:08:11,250
I can't believe I could even say
what I'm about to say.
147
00:08:11,453 --> 00:08:13,967
May you never find a man.
148
00:08:18,413 --> 00:08:21,644
Oh, the reason we're crossing paths...
It isn't coincidence...
149
00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:25,921
- I've just dropped off a complaint
and a summons at your office.
150
00:08:26,133 --> 00:08:27,851
- Excuse me?
- I'm suing you...
151
00:08:28,053 --> 00:08:29,566
...for defamation, you bitch.
152
00:08:30,373 --> 00:08:32,841
I'm so sorry, Sister.
I didn't mean it.
153
00:08:33,053 --> 00:08:37,649
Oh, she's put on a little weight
and her diaphragm is pinching.
154
00:08:39,533 --> 00:08:42,001
Add that to your complaint, you witch.
155
00:08:44,933 --> 00:08:47,003
Come on, it's...!
156
00:08:47,213 --> 00:08:50,285
If I'd seen you,
I'd have lowered my shoulder.
157
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:52,848
Larry. Hey!
158
00:08:53,053 --> 00:08:54,247
- How's it going?
- Good.
159
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:57,053
On my way to work,
plowing down pedestrians.
160
00:08:57,293 --> 00:09:00,251
- You've had that first cup of coffee.
- Exactly.
161
00:09:00,613 --> 00:09:01,841
- How are you?
- Good.
162
00:09:02,093 --> 00:09:04,402
Still making people think
I'm a therapist...
163
00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:06,928
...by putting "Attorney at Law"
on my door.
164
00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:08,771
["MY GIRL" PLAYS]
165
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:13,652
- Ally?
- Hi.
166
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,206
Hi. How's Bryan?
167
00:09:15,773 --> 00:09:18,651
Oh, he's past-tense.
168
00:09:18,853 --> 00:09:21,890
I'm dating a father and son now.
It's a long story.
169
00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:24,124
I met the father. I dated him.
170
00:09:24,373 --> 00:09:25,931
I met the son. I dated him.
171
00:09:26,173 --> 00:09:28,164
- I didn't know, and now...
- It happens.
172
00:09:29,413 --> 00:09:31,051
If you need a sympathetic ear...
173
00:09:31,253 --> 00:09:32,481
...I can fake it.
- Thanks.
174
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,845
- Okay. Good to see you again.
- You too.
175
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,972
First up, Ally,
what's this about you being sued?
176
00:10:04,213 --> 00:10:07,410
Oh, Kimmie Bishop.
Remember her from law school?
177
00:10:07,653 --> 00:10:09,484
Remember her? Androgynous beast.
178
00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:12,452
Talk about a woman
with stones of her own.
179
00:10:13,173 --> 00:10:17,246
Oh, hi, Mark. No, we weren't talking
about your girlfriend, I promise.
180
00:10:17,493 --> 00:10:20,326
RICHARD: Why is she suing you, Ally?
- Defamation, libel.
181
00:10:20,813 --> 00:10:22,326
ALLY:
It's ridiculous.
182
00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:27,561
- This is going to sound cold-hearted...
- Coming from you, I can't believe it.
183
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:31,723
While I consider myself
to be a very tolerant person...
184
00:10:32,533 --> 00:10:36,845
...Mark's dating a person who...
Yuck! It's disgusting.
185
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,486
And when word gets out...
186
00:10:38,693 --> 00:10:42,049
...which it will
because it's such a good story...
187
00:10:42,253 --> 00:10:44,847
...it'll not only embarrass you,
but the firm.
188
00:10:45,093 --> 00:10:47,732
- How so?
- Well, you're a litigator.
189
00:10:47,973 --> 00:10:50,567
You stand up
in front of judges and juries.
190
00:10:50,853 --> 00:10:53,321
How much credibility
do you think you'll have...
191
00:10:53,573 --> 00:10:56,292
...when your brethren find out
your girlfriend...
192
00:10:56,533 --> 00:10:58,046
...has a man-missile?
193
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,844
It's not gay rights. It's...
194
00:11:03,453 --> 00:11:07,412
...a circus act, and it's disgusting.
- It's my private life.
195
00:11:07,653 --> 00:11:11,282
It doesn't involve this firm.
And this conversation is over.
196
00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:16,047
Okay.
197
00:11:16,413 --> 00:11:20,042
Next up. Michaels versus Henderson.
I believe...
198
00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,247
Ally?
199
00:11:22,853 --> 00:11:24,605
Michael Bassett is here.
200
00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:29,041
Michael!
201
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:34,527
I came to apologize
for fleeing the scene last night.
202
00:11:34,773 --> 00:11:37,446
I was...
I guess I came rather undone.
203
00:11:37,693 --> 00:11:39,570
Well, I can understand.
204
00:11:40,173 --> 00:11:42,084
- But...
- You had high hopes for me...
205
00:11:42,293 --> 00:11:45,649
...and they were a little dashed
at the sight of your son?
206
00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:50,247
Look, I'm not going to compete
with Jonathan.
207
00:11:51,213 --> 00:11:53,773
But that's why you're here,
aren't you?
208
00:11:55,053 --> 00:11:58,284
What are your feelings for Jonathan?
I only ask because...
209
00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:01,252
I just met you,
and I just met him...
210
00:12:01,453 --> 00:12:03,967
...and you both seem
like really nice guys.
211
00:12:04,173 --> 00:12:08,644
But it's just too early
for me to know anything really.
212
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:13,085
Yeah, I guess...
Well, why don't I just say it?
213
00:12:13,813 --> 00:12:15,485
Jonathan and I both agree...
214
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:18,844
...that you might be
the most amazing woman on earth...
215
00:12:19,053 --> 00:12:22,762
...and it would be a tragedy
if at least one of us didn't get you.
216
00:12:23,653 --> 00:12:25,371
Now that was a good answer.
217
00:12:25,613 --> 00:12:28,650
And I'm here now
to say we won't compete.
218
00:12:28,893 --> 00:12:31,043
This has to be your choice.
219
00:12:31,253 --> 00:12:33,562
But I'm not equipped
to make that choice...
220
00:12:33,773 --> 00:12:37,083
...and if you're asking me
to flip a coin, I just won't do it.
221
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:41,645
For me to make an informed decision,
I have to continue seeing both of you.
222
00:12:41,893 --> 00:12:43,121
<i>ALLY:
Did I just say that?</i>
223
00:12:45,813 --> 00:12:47,371
It's a little strange, Ally.
224
00:12:48,973 --> 00:12:52,761
I won't exchange saliva
or bodily fluids with either of you.
225
00:12:54,413 --> 00:12:56,802
Not until I narrow the field to one.
226
00:12:57,053 --> 00:12:59,283
Now, go.
227
00:13:00,533 --> 00:13:04,048
Go and take your son to a ball game.
228
00:13:04,613 --> 00:13:07,844
And I will give you
the first date tonight.
229
00:13:11,613 --> 00:13:13,046
I'll look back and laugh.
230
00:13:13,253 --> 00:13:17,041
I'll look back and laugh.
I'll look back and laugh.
231
00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:27,252
You're gonna date them both?
232
00:13:27,493 --> 00:13:29,370
- Am I crazy?
- That's beside the point.
233
00:13:29,613 --> 00:13:31,285
It's hard to meet a normal guy...
234
00:13:31,493 --> 00:13:34,849
...who doesn't turn out to be
an escaped prisoner, or a woman.
235
00:13:35,093 --> 00:13:36,287
MARK:
Hey, lay off it.
236
00:13:36,533 --> 00:13:38,728
- Could you do that, please?
- Sorry.
237
00:13:38,973 --> 00:13:41,726
What if it works out with one?
You could marry.
238
00:13:41,933 --> 00:13:44,447
The in-law comes
for Thanksgiving wanting...
239
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:47,253
...your thigh over the turkey's.
- This is private.
240
00:13:47,933 --> 00:13:50,242
- Your wages have been garnished.
- Excuse me?
241
00:13:50,493 --> 00:13:54,042
I got the notice from the court.
Kimmie Bishop went in ex parte.
242
00:13:54,253 --> 00:13:55,447
- What?
- A court order.
243
00:13:55,653 --> 00:13:58,645
I have to start withholding wages,
put them in escrow.
244
00:13:58,853 --> 00:13:59,922
ALLY:
Elaine?
245
00:14:00,613 --> 00:14:03,047
I want to respond to this.
246
00:14:05,573 --> 00:14:06,688
[NELLE GASPS]
247
00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:11,246
- Are you okay?
- Fine. I was just startled.
248
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,645
- Cindy, hi.
- Mark, hi.
249
00:14:14,893 --> 00:14:16,565
- What's up?
- I had some business...
250
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,845
...across the street.
I thought I'd stop by and say hello.
251
00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:27,484
Anyway, I'm gonna be done around noon.
You want to have some lunch?
252
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:28,722
- Sure.
- Great.
253
00:14:28,973 --> 00:14:31,248
- I'll come by when I'm done.
- Great.
254
00:14:35,453 --> 00:14:37,045
Yeah. Okay.
255
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,452
Hello again.
256
00:14:49,293 --> 00:14:50,442
Hello.
257
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,049
My penis makes you nervous.
258
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:09,842
Hey!
259
00:15:10,773 --> 00:15:14,607
Ally. Don't tell me.
The son has a twin.
260
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:16,452
Funny.
261
00:15:18,053 --> 00:15:19,486
I'm here to hire you.
262
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:21,322
Hire me?
263
00:15:21,613 --> 00:15:23,171
I've been sued.
264
00:15:23,413 --> 00:15:26,530
I could have a member of my own firm
to represent me...
265
00:15:26,733 --> 00:15:28,291
...but I think it makes sense...
266
00:15:28,493 --> 00:15:31,451
...to hire outside counsel.
- I assume you checked me out?
267
00:15:32,053 --> 00:15:33,532
["MY GIRL" PLAYS]
268
00:15:36,053 --> 00:15:37,168
[A RECORD SCRATCHES]
269
00:15:37,373 --> 00:15:40,570
You seem smart, and since
you're a solo practitioner...
270
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,048
...I figure you must be
a decent litigator.
271
00:15:43,253 --> 00:15:45,323
- Lf you don't want to do it...
- I want it.
272
00:15:45,573 --> 00:15:49,452
- Well, good. Excellent. Great.
- Great.
273
00:15:49,853 --> 00:15:52,048
Okay, then.
274
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:57,845
Ally, is there something
you'd like to talk about?
275
00:15:58,093 --> 00:16:01,802
What? No, no, why?
What would I have to talk about?
276
00:16:02,413 --> 00:16:04,244
- The case?
- Oh.
277
00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:07,967
Oh. That's... I forgot.
278
00:16:10,373 --> 00:16:12,443
Oh, that's funny. Yeah.
279
00:16:12,693 --> 00:16:15,765
While having dinner
with the father and son...
280
00:16:16,013 --> 00:16:18,686
...I passed a puritanical witch
I knew in law school.
281
00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:22,164
She was with her friends, wearing
their Gucci chastity belts...
282
00:16:22,413 --> 00:16:25,371
...and I said something
about her slipping me spermicide.
283
00:16:25,613 --> 00:16:27,888
She says it impugned her.
She filed suit.
284
00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:31,603
She amended the complaint
after I said something in passing...
285
00:16:31,813 --> 00:16:35,328
...about a pinching diaphragm
within the earshot of a nun.
286
00:16:35,573 --> 00:16:39,122
And now I sit before you, garnished.
287
00:16:39,493 --> 00:16:42,166
So, do you have any thoughts?
288
00:16:42,493 --> 00:16:43,721
Are you wealthy?
289
00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:47,043
That's not an appropriate question.
290
00:16:47,293 --> 00:16:50,171
To garnish a defendant's wages,
you have to show...
291
00:16:50,413 --> 00:16:53,211
...that she has no obvious means
of settling a judgment...
292
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,369
...should one be rendered against her.
293
00:16:55,613 --> 00:17:00,448
If you're wealthy, we could dissolve
the garnishment with little argument.
294
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:04,248
That was my reason for asking.
I didn't mean to be inappropriate.
295
00:17:05,173 --> 00:17:08,324
I make my rent
and I can buy nice outfits.
296
00:17:08,533 --> 00:17:10,330
But it's not like I'm wealthy.
297
00:17:10,573 --> 00:17:12,131
Okay. Single.
298
00:17:12,813 --> 00:17:15,327
- Ever been married?
- No.
299
00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:19,643
- How is that relevant?
- It isn't. I was just curious.
300
00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:22,767
I'm not wealthy. I need my paycheck.
301
00:17:23,013 --> 00:17:26,688
- How do we lift the garnishment?
- Let's go right into court.
302
00:17:26,933 --> 00:17:29,686
Challenge libel law.
I think it's gender-biased.
303
00:17:29,933 --> 00:17:33,209
We'll show the witch
that we're not gonna fool around.
304
00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:35,810
Did she slip you spermicide?
305
00:17:36,053 --> 00:17:40,843
- No. I was being caustic.
- I'll mark up the motion for 3:00.
306
00:17:41,053 --> 00:17:42,964
- Can you meet me there?
- I can.
307
00:17:43,213 --> 00:17:44,487
Good. Good.
308
00:17:45,253 --> 00:17:48,051
- Complaint?
- No, everything sounds great.
309
00:17:48,293 --> 00:17:52,206
- The complaint. Did you bring it?
- Oh, yeah, I did.
310
00:17:56,893 --> 00:17:58,167
I'll see you in court.
311
00:17:58,653 --> 00:18:02,487
- Anything else I need to know?
- The son will probably live longer.
312
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,646
John?
313
00:18:16,893 --> 00:18:19,088
- Yes?
- What are you doing?
314
00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:22,251
I'm either playing Ping-Pong
or hanging upside down.
315
00:18:22,493 --> 00:18:24,927
Want to guess,
or use up one of your lifelines?
316
00:18:25,253 --> 00:18:27,289
- May I speak to you?
- Certainly.
317
00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:30,724
Could I do it upright?
318
00:18:30,973 --> 00:18:33,487
Does this involve
your girlfriend's genitalia?
319
00:18:33,973 --> 00:18:35,929
Yes, actually. How'd you know?
320
00:18:36,173 --> 00:18:40,610
There could only be so many things
on your mind, Mark. All right.
321
00:18:45,853 --> 00:18:48,651
I need an honest, open-minded,
grounded opinion.
322
00:18:49,173 --> 00:18:51,129
- Dump it.
- Dump it?
323
00:18:51,573 --> 00:18:53,609
He, she, whatever. Dump it.
324
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:57,648
I know I can never have sex with her.
Can you imagine?
325
00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:00,410
I would certainly prefer not to.
326
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:04,368
Look, Mark, platonic love affairs
have been known to exist.
327
00:19:04,613 --> 00:19:07,923
There are perhaps countless reasons
to pursue this woman.
328
00:19:08,613 --> 00:19:10,604
And only one not to.
329
00:19:10,813 --> 00:19:12,644
But, as flaws go...
330
00:19:12,893 --> 00:19:14,690
...she has a penis!
331
00:19:17,173 --> 00:19:21,052
Nelle was right. You draw a negative
conclusion about a man who...?
332
00:19:21,253 --> 00:19:25,326
I wish I could say I'm tolerant enough
to support this, but...
333
00:19:25,693 --> 00:19:27,172
...I can't say it.
334
00:19:39,933 --> 00:19:41,571
I know what you're doing.
335
00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:45,330
- What am I doing?
- Trying to schedule a lot of motions.
336
00:19:45,533 --> 00:19:49,492
Send a message that this will cost me
bigtime to prosecute this case.
337
00:19:49,733 --> 00:19:52,452
I am in it for the long haul.
If you want to know why...
338
00:19:52,653 --> 00:19:54,052
She impugned you?
339
00:19:55,613 --> 00:19:57,410
Off the record, I'm smitten.
340
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:03,044
What are you, snide? I'd expect her
to go out and hire a snide lawyer.
341
00:20:03,253 --> 00:20:04,891
- That is just like her.
- Kim?
342
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,045
All rise.
343
00:20:08,493 --> 00:20:10,609
Never mind rise. You can all sit.
344
00:20:10,973 --> 00:20:13,646
On what basis do you move
to dismiss a claim...
345
00:20:13,893 --> 00:20:16,532
...on the very day it's filed?
346
00:20:17,173 --> 00:20:19,971
The claim is predicated
on common law principles...
347
00:20:20,213 --> 00:20:23,444
...which consider an attack
on a woman's chastity to be libel.
348
00:20:23,813 --> 00:20:26,043
This law is archaic and gender-biased.
349
00:20:26,253 --> 00:20:29,563
Why is it illegal to call
a woman unchaste, but not a man?
350
00:20:29,773 --> 00:20:33,607
- It implied that she's promiscuous.
- Most girls would say thanks...
351
00:20:33,813 --> 00:20:37,806
...for the compliment. Promiscuous
isn't derogatory in today's society.
352
00:20:38,013 --> 00:20:40,573
- It is to my client.
- Lf Ms. McBeal's words...
353
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:43,241
...offended Ms. Bishop,
the test for liability...
354
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,324
...is whether they would cause her...
355
00:20:45,573 --> 00:20:47,848
...to be held in disrepute by others.
- Exactly.
356
00:20:48,053 --> 00:20:50,613
And the others at the table
were all members...
357
00:20:50,853 --> 00:20:53,811
...of the Massachusetts
Women of Virtue Bar Chapter.
358
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:56,931
Ms. McBeal accused her
of passing spermicide...
359
00:20:57,173 --> 00:21:00,245
...and of performing a vile,
disgusting oral sexual act...
360
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,290
...on her boyfriend under the table.
361
00:21:03,133 --> 00:21:04,646
One second, Your Honor.
362
00:21:07,173 --> 00:21:10,324
- Did we forget to tell me something?
- Whatever.
363
00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:15,006
These laws were passed
in a day not only where...
364
00:21:15,213 --> 00:21:18,285
...Congress and the public
considered premarital sex shameful...
365
00:21:18,773 --> 00:21:23,449
...but where oral sex was actually
a criminal offense in most states.
366
00:21:24,693 --> 00:21:28,083
- These are more enlightened times.
- Your client made the remarks...
367
00:21:28,293 --> 00:21:31,251
...to a group where she knew
it would cause embarrassment.
368
00:21:31,613 --> 00:21:33,205
Your motion to dismiss denied.
369
00:21:37,253 --> 00:21:39,323
I don't like being surprised in court.
370
00:21:39,533 --> 00:21:43,128
If I'm to continue representing you,
you will fill me in...
371
00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:45,164
...on all the incidental tidbits.
372
00:21:45,413 --> 00:21:48,086
<i>ALLY: It's when he got strict with me
I knew I liked him.</i>
373
00:21:48,293 --> 00:21:51,603
<i>I hope this doesn 't mean deep down
I want to be spanked.</i>
374
00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:55,051
- Satisfied?
- Kimmie, this is for you.
375
00:21:55,293 --> 00:21:57,329
- What's this?
- A notice of your deposition.
376
00:21:57,573 --> 00:21:59,882
We're going to have
a little conversation...
377
00:22:00,093 --> 00:22:03,051
...with a court reporter
writing everything down. Ally?
378
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:16,685
I owe you an apology.
I shouldn't have imposed my bigotry.
379
00:22:17,453 --> 00:22:18,966
You're hardly the only one.
380
00:22:23,733 --> 00:22:27,851
I had a bad experience once
as a teenager.
381
00:22:28,653 --> 00:22:33,204
I asked this beautiful boy, who
I thought was a girl, out on a date.
382
00:22:34,093 --> 00:22:36,971
When he accepted,
I, of course, became suspicious.
383
00:22:37,213 --> 00:22:39,807
I checked around.
The mistake was caught.
384
00:22:40,253 --> 00:22:44,041
But to this day, if a woman
is beautiful and wants to date me...
385
00:22:44,293 --> 00:22:46,568
...I immediately ask myself:
386
00:22:46,773 --> 00:22:48,126
"Has she got one?"
387
00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:49,368
John...
388
00:22:49,573 --> 00:22:52,451
I'm heading somewhere with this.
Please be patient.
389
00:22:53,213 --> 00:22:56,444
Several years ago, I dated
a lovely woman with a moustache.
390
00:22:57,013 --> 00:22:59,766
It was dyed, hard to see,
but when I kissed her...
391
00:22:59,973 --> 00:23:02,646
...I felt the bristle. It was there.
392
00:23:07,173 --> 00:23:08,606
I developed that twitch.
393
00:23:08,813 --> 00:23:11,327
Just thinking of the bristle
brings it back.
394
00:23:11,813 --> 00:23:13,929
This is where you were headed?
395
00:23:14,173 --> 00:23:16,892
We went to see this therapist
who specializes...
396
00:23:17,133 --> 00:23:19,522
...in couples facing
unique challenges...
397
00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:23,282
...be it the disparity of backgrounds,
religion, lip bristle.
398
00:23:24,053 --> 00:23:25,805
His expertise is not only...
399
00:23:26,053 --> 00:23:28,521
...getting the individuals
to accept each other...
400
00:23:28,773 --> 00:23:32,527
...but gaining acceptance for them
as a couple from society.
401
00:23:32,773 --> 00:23:35,162
I think it would behoove you
to see him...
402
00:23:35,373 --> 00:23:39,651
...if for no other reason than to see
whether your hurdles are surmountable.
403
00:23:45,693 --> 00:23:47,763
[CROWD SINGS NEIL DIAMOND SONG]
404
00:23:50,733 --> 00:23:53,293
<i>To no one there</i>
405
00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:58,646
<i>And no one heard at all</i>
406
00:23:58,893 --> 00:24:02,602
<i>Not even the chair</i>
407
00:24:05,733 --> 00:24:09,885
<i>ALLY: The thrill's gone. He's singing
Neil Diamond, and it's doing nothing.</i>
408
00:24:10,133 --> 00:24:13,045
<i>I'm not even fantasizing
over his son.</i>
409
00:24:16,453 --> 00:24:18,250
<i>And no one heard at all</i>
410
00:24:18,453 --> 00:24:21,013
<i>Not even the chair</i>
411
00:24:32,893 --> 00:24:36,852
- Did you break up with him?
- No, but I'm getting the "ick" on him.
412
00:24:37,053 --> 00:24:39,567
Did he sing
"You Don't Bring Me Flowers"?
413
00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:43,328
No. I think he's saving it.
414
00:24:43,533 --> 00:24:46,809
- What'd you tell him?
- I need more space on this lawsuit.
415
00:24:47,013 --> 00:24:50,449
I could get nailed. The group
I made those remarks to...
416
00:24:50,653 --> 00:24:54,532
...are so virtuous that with libel,
they don't have to show damages.
417
00:24:55,053 --> 00:24:57,248
Why'd you hire Larry Paul
to defend you?
418
00:24:58,413 --> 00:25:00,722
I thought it made sense
to get outside counsel.
419
00:25:00,933 --> 00:25:02,207
I'm outside counsel.
420
00:25:02,533 --> 00:25:03,648
Oh.
421
00:25:04,373 --> 00:25:07,922
But you and I are roommates.
We have a personal relationship.
422
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:09,606
I see.
423
00:25:11,373 --> 00:25:15,605
- Anything personal with Larry Paul?
- What? No. Him? Right.
424
00:25:15,853 --> 00:25:19,084
He's just... He's just...
He's just, you know...
425
00:25:19,333 --> 00:25:20,812
...so...
426
00:25:21,893 --> 00:25:23,406
...yummy.
427
00:25:30,013 --> 00:25:32,925
Did you check up on him...
428
00:25:33,173 --> 00:25:35,733
...to see if he's even capable
of defending you?
429
00:25:36,053 --> 00:25:40,046
You should have seen how smart he was
in court. This guy is a litigator.
430
00:25:40,333 --> 00:25:43,405
Well, I checked up on him
just the same.
431
00:25:43,653 --> 00:25:45,405
He's married.
432
00:25:48,413 --> 00:25:50,005
He is?
433
00:25:50,213 --> 00:25:51,566
Yeah.
434
00:25:53,213 --> 00:25:56,603
Well, he's just my lawyer, Renee.
There's nothing between us.
435
00:25:56,973 --> 00:25:59,567
- Okay.
- It doesn't mean he can't defend me.
436
00:25:59,813 --> 00:26:04,443
I have a lot of guys coming at me now,
of all ages. Related, even.
437
00:26:09,093 --> 00:26:12,802
I have a really big day tomorrow.
We're gonna depose Kimmie...
438
00:26:13,013 --> 00:26:15,891
...and then I might get deposed,
so I should go kill myself.
439
00:26:17,293 --> 00:26:18,328
Prepare...
440
00:26:18,693 --> 00:26:22,208
...myself.
441
00:26:51,973 --> 00:26:53,486
Ally, what brings you here?
442
00:26:53,853 --> 00:26:57,812
What brings me here?
The deposition. Remember?
443
00:26:58,453 --> 00:27:02,162
I scheduled it for your place
since my conference room is missing.
444
00:27:02,373 --> 00:27:06,252
I don't know how you plan to practice
law without a conference room.
445
00:27:06,493 --> 00:27:09,929
- Something's the matter. Have a seat.
- I'm not gonna sit.
446
00:27:10,173 --> 00:27:14,007
I bet you just love that, getting
all the girls to come in and sit.
447
00:27:14,213 --> 00:27:16,681
If it's not about the case,
I don't sit.
448
00:27:17,013 --> 00:27:21,529
All right. I've been meaning to
ask you something for a while now...
449
00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:24,207
...and it seems this would be
a good time.
450
00:27:26,213 --> 00:27:28,522
Ally, are you nuts? What's wrong?
451
00:27:28,773 --> 00:27:31,128
I'm erratic, okay? It's my right.
452
00:27:31,493 --> 00:27:34,610
I've got a lawsuit
my homeowner's policy doesn't cover.
453
00:27:34,853 --> 00:27:36,923
And I've been told I'm gonna lose.
454
00:27:37,173 --> 00:27:39,846
Two guys are chasing me.
Both I sort of like.
455
00:27:40,093 --> 00:27:44,211
But it would be rude to juggle them
since one comes from the other's seed.
456
00:27:44,453 --> 00:27:46,409
- Then there's...
- There's what?
457
00:27:47,653 --> 00:27:49,006
Nothing. That's it.
458
00:27:53,573 --> 00:27:54,767
I'll handle the suit.
459
00:27:54,973 --> 00:27:57,328
As for the father and son,
it's not that big a deal.
460
00:27:57,573 --> 00:27:59,564
Women date men to be with the brother.
461
00:27:59,893 --> 00:28:02,851
Also guys with girlfriends
who end up with the sisters.
462
00:28:03,053 --> 00:28:06,887
It happens. It's more unusual
with a father and son, but so what?
463
00:28:07,133 --> 00:28:10,762
- Date them both. The world won't end.
- Certainly not yours.
464
00:28:11,733 --> 00:28:14,611
- What am I missing here?
- Nothing. You've got it all.
465
00:28:22,093 --> 00:28:26,006
The thing is, we're all different.
466
00:28:26,373 --> 00:28:29,922
Some dissimilarities are latent.
Some are obvious.
467
00:28:30,173 --> 00:28:33,245
The physical ones, well...
They're easy.
468
00:28:33,493 --> 00:28:37,088
Those gaps are bridged
simply by acceptance.
469
00:28:37,333 --> 00:28:41,485
It's the mental
or emotional disparities...
470
00:28:41,733 --> 00:28:44,008
...that prove to be
much more malignant...
471
00:28:44,213 --> 00:28:47,125
...especially when these disparities
are internalized.
472
00:28:47,373 --> 00:28:50,331
You're all fragile creatures
with feelings.
473
00:28:50,533 --> 00:28:54,765
And as a couple,
those fragilities compound.
474
00:28:58,173 --> 00:28:59,811
Taxi!
475
00:29:00,093 --> 00:29:01,412
Cindy!
476
00:29:02,453 --> 00:29:04,205
That was humiliating.
477
00:29:04,453 --> 00:29:06,603
- I'm not a freak!
- I'm not saying you are.
478
00:29:06,853 --> 00:29:10,402
Then what was that?
A blob, a midget, a two-headed man?
479
00:29:10,613 --> 00:29:11,932
And a woman with a penis.
480
00:29:14,413 --> 00:29:15,812
I'm not a freak.
481
00:29:18,013 --> 00:29:20,402
And if that's how
you think of me, Mark...
482
00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:23,404
...then let's just forget this.
483
00:29:37,173 --> 00:29:39,892
Kim Bishop is here
with her lawyer and the steno.
484
00:29:40,613 --> 00:29:42,490
- Who's he?
- My lawyer, Larry Paul.
485
00:29:42,733 --> 00:29:46,408
- My assistant, Elaine Vassal.
- It's nice to meet you.
486
00:29:50,653 --> 00:29:53,929
Before we go in, very important:
You cannot antagonize her.
487
00:29:54,173 --> 00:29:58,166
I'll make it go away, but you have to
behave. I'd like you to be quiet.
488
00:29:58,373 --> 00:29:59,362
Okay.
489
00:30:00,253 --> 00:30:01,732
- Who's that?
LING: I don't know.
490
00:30:01,933 --> 00:30:03,924
Some guy who has yet to drool over me.
491
00:30:04,173 --> 00:30:07,006
Ling, do you think
every man wants you?
492
00:30:07,933 --> 00:30:09,412
Yes.
493
00:30:10,493 --> 00:30:12,723
Let's get right on the record,
shall we?
494
00:30:12,933 --> 00:30:16,892
Shall we waive objections until trial,
except as to the form of the question?
495
00:30:17,093 --> 00:30:18,526
- Fine.
- Okay.
496
00:30:18,773 --> 00:30:20,604
Kimmie, I'll ask you questions...
497
00:30:20,813 --> 00:30:22,804
...as I'm sure your lawyer
has explained.
498
00:30:23,013 --> 00:30:25,049
If you don't understand
the question...
499
00:30:25,253 --> 00:30:27,813
...let me know,
and I'll try to be more clear.
500
00:30:29,173 --> 00:30:31,846
Okay, I think the statements
made by Ms. McBeal...
501
00:30:32,093 --> 00:30:36,405
...are on record, as is your umbrage.
And my question to you is:
502
00:30:37,173 --> 00:30:38,970
Why are you so upset?
503
00:30:39,373 --> 00:30:42,126
- How could you ask...?
- Before you answer, let me ask:
504
00:30:42,373 --> 00:30:47,401
Do people truly, truly think of you
as a chaste person?
505
00:30:47,973 --> 00:30:50,965
- They most certainly do.
- I mean the people who know you.
506
00:30:51,173 --> 00:30:53,243
The people who know me
know I'm chaste.
507
00:30:53,493 --> 00:30:56,610
Couldn't Ally have been mistaken?
508
00:30:56,853 --> 00:30:59,526
About me passing her spermicide?
509
00:30:59,933 --> 00:31:02,322
About me munching her boyfriend?
510
00:31:02,573 --> 00:31:07,408
If these things happened, couldn't
she mistakenly think it was you?
511
00:31:07,613 --> 00:31:10,491
Oh, please. She knows I could
never do those things.
512
00:31:10,733 --> 00:31:14,646
The people in the Virtue Club could
have made the mistake Ally made...
513
00:31:14,893 --> 00:31:17,202
Those people especially know me.
514
00:31:17,613 --> 00:31:20,047
They couldn't confuse you
for a spermicide vendor?
515
00:31:20,253 --> 00:31:21,481
Not in a million years.
516
00:31:21,773 --> 00:31:23,570
- They didn't believe her?
- No.
517
00:31:23,773 --> 00:31:24,967
- Kim...
- You're sure?
518
00:31:25,213 --> 00:31:27,204
Absolutely!
519
00:31:27,653 --> 00:31:31,248
Okay, Kimmie, we're done.
That didn't hurt too much, did it?
520
00:31:36,213 --> 00:31:37,805
What did I say?
521
00:31:44,853 --> 00:31:46,332
<i>Chains</i>
522
00:31:46,573 --> 00:31:50,612
<i>My baby's got me
Locked up in chains</i>
523
00:31:51,013 --> 00:31:53,447
<i>And they ain 't the kind</i>
524
00:31:54,933 --> 00:31:57,367
<i>That you can see</i>
525
00:31:57,613 --> 00:31:59,012
He was so smooth.
526
00:31:59,253 --> 00:32:02,563
She admitted things before she had
time to realize what she was saying.
527
00:32:03,573 --> 00:32:04,722
Is the case over?
528
00:32:04,933 --> 00:32:07,128
No, those women might've
believed me...
529
00:32:07,333 --> 00:32:10,643
...so we have a settlement tomorrow
and hopefully we'll get rid of it.
530
00:32:11,133 --> 00:32:14,808
You'll be lucky. A woman's chastity
is liable per se. You'd have to...
531
00:32:15,013 --> 00:32:16,731
Show damages, I know.
532
00:32:19,173 --> 00:32:22,006
- How's your dad?
- He's better.
533
00:32:22,213 --> 00:32:26,126
He said he had the whole room singing
last night, and you just sat there.
534
00:32:26,653 --> 00:32:29,611
Well, Jonathan, it's a little
conspicuous.
535
00:32:33,733 --> 00:32:35,007
What's wrong?
536
00:32:35,373 --> 00:32:39,366
Oh, it's just my lawyer
with somebody from my firm.
537
00:32:39,613 --> 00:32:42,002
- Small world, I guess.
- Itsy-bitsy.
538
00:32:43,013 --> 00:32:46,085
- Could you excuse me for one second?
- Sure.
539
00:32:58,653 --> 00:33:00,723
Hi, Ally. You know Larry.
540
00:33:00,933 --> 00:33:02,332
Yes, I do.
541
00:33:02,773 --> 00:33:05,970
Larry, do you mind if I talk to you
about our conference?
542
00:33:12,453 --> 00:33:16,128
- You know Nelle?
- I met her in your office today.
543
00:33:16,373 --> 00:33:18,807
She invited me for a drink.
She seems nice.
544
00:33:20,933 --> 00:33:22,002
Good hair.
545
00:33:22,773 --> 00:33:24,092
D-d... I... D-d... Think...
546
00:33:24,293 --> 00:33:26,170
You're married, Larry.
547
00:33:27,013 --> 00:33:29,766
Don't you think
that's a little inappropriate?
548
00:33:29,973 --> 00:33:31,088
- No.
- No?
549
00:33:31,293 --> 00:33:32,521
I'm divorced.
550
00:33:34,093 --> 00:33:35,321
Oh.
551
00:33:35,613 --> 00:33:38,650
Good, I mean, no. I mean...
Never mind, I guess.
552
00:33:40,973 --> 00:33:45,205
Hate to interrupt, Ally, but your date
looks a little insecure over there.
553
00:33:45,413 --> 00:33:47,290
Elaine's putting out the pheromones.
554
00:33:48,213 --> 00:33:49,646
Thank you, Nelle.
555
00:33:50,693 --> 00:33:52,570
- See you tomorrow.
- I'll be there.
556
00:33:54,333 --> 00:33:56,324
<i>And they ain 't the kind</i>
557
00:33:57,773 --> 00:34:00,492
<i>That you can see</i>
558
00:34:04,773 --> 00:34:07,446
- Everything okay?
- Fine.
559
00:34:24,533 --> 00:34:26,012
It's really all for the best.
560
00:34:26,213 --> 00:34:29,125
I have nothing against transgender
people, I really don't.
561
00:34:29,373 --> 00:34:32,331
But no one should ever touch one,
much less... You know.
562
00:34:32,573 --> 00:34:34,006
Why can't you just be friends?
563
00:34:34,253 --> 00:34:36,528
Maybe that's the way it'll have to be.
564
00:34:36,773 --> 00:34:40,243
It's just she's the first woman
I've been able to talk to in...
565
00:34:40,493 --> 00:34:42,290
Let me tell you something about women.
566
00:34:42,853 --> 00:34:45,413
Don't talk to them.
They'll talk back.
567
00:34:45,613 --> 00:34:48,810
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Fish-ism.
568
00:34:49,053 --> 00:34:50,771
Cindy, she is obscene. Hi.
569
00:34:51,173 --> 00:34:52,811
She'll never be the mother...
570
00:34:53,893 --> 00:34:57,010
Cindy, hi, hey, hi.
We were just talking about you.
571
00:34:57,213 --> 00:34:59,647
Yeah. I heard you, Richard.
572
00:34:59,853 --> 00:35:03,732
I was representing the homophobic
point of view. I know it's out there.
573
00:35:03,973 --> 00:35:07,204
- Can I have a moment with Mark?
- Absolutely. I was on my way.
574
00:35:08,533 --> 00:35:10,808
Sorry. Excuse me.
575
00:35:20,853 --> 00:35:22,411
Do you think of me as a freak?
576
00:35:23,293 --> 00:35:26,763
I think of you as aberrant.
577
00:35:27,493 --> 00:35:30,803
The other night, you told me
that you saw me as a woman.
578
00:35:31,693 --> 00:35:33,445
One you wanted to continue seeing.
579
00:35:34,693 --> 00:35:38,368
I could never be sexual with you.
I think you're a great person.
580
00:35:38,613 --> 00:35:42,128
But maybe I'm influenced
by the way others see us.
581
00:35:42,333 --> 00:35:47,202
Then let's just be adult about this
and admit that it's not gonna work.
582
00:35:53,493 --> 00:35:54,767
Goodbye, Mark.
583
00:35:55,293 --> 00:35:56,282
Bye.
584
00:36:00,453 --> 00:36:04,002
- Richard, for all your support.
- Oh.
585
00:36:17,013 --> 00:36:19,368
[PIG SQUEALS]
586
00:36:20,573 --> 00:36:22,928
- Ally.
- Nelle.
587
00:36:23,133 --> 00:36:25,044
- Is Larry here yet?
- No.
588
00:36:25,293 --> 00:36:27,204
We're still waiting for him.
589
00:36:27,453 --> 00:36:29,921
You two stay out late last night?
590
00:36:30,133 --> 00:36:32,249
I didn't check my watch.
591
00:36:32,493 --> 00:36:34,085
I rarely do when I'm having fun.
592
00:36:37,853 --> 00:36:41,129
So, you two hit it off?
593
00:36:42,013 --> 00:36:43,002
Well...
594
00:36:43,693 --> 00:36:46,253
- You're late!
- Sorry.
595
00:36:46,493 --> 00:36:47,892
- Hey, Nelle.
- Larry.
596
00:36:51,493 --> 00:36:53,211
Let's go.
597
00:36:55,893 --> 00:36:57,326
The fact that Ms. Bishop thinks...
598
00:36:57,533 --> 00:37:01,242
...those women would fail to attach
credibility to the remarks tendered...
599
00:37:01,453 --> 00:37:02,852
...that is not dispositive.
600
00:37:03,093 --> 00:37:05,129
If they did believe
those statements...
601
00:37:05,333 --> 00:37:09,963
...or if they made room for the
comments to have a basis in truth...
602
00:37:10,173 --> 00:37:12,129
...the action is still colorable.
603
00:37:13,213 --> 00:37:15,681
Kimmie, I checked. You are
very respected...
604
00:37:15,893 --> 00:37:18,930
...within your peer group.
Personally, I admire virgins.
605
00:37:19,173 --> 00:37:21,243
Privately, I collect them.
I'm sure you do.
606
00:37:21,613 --> 00:37:22,841
Snide.
607
00:37:23,053 --> 00:37:26,409
Here's my point. You called Ally
the poster child for prudeness.
608
00:37:26,613 --> 00:37:28,808
That can be considered as an insult...
609
00:37:29,013 --> 00:37:32,403
You said, "My point is this."
You're not getting to it.
610
00:37:36,013 --> 00:37:39,801
The women probably considered
it nothing more than a catty fight.
611
00:37:40,013 --> 00:37:42,925
I'm sure they didn't think
what she said was true...
612
00:37:43,173 --> 00:37:47,212
...but when you sue over it,
when you go to trial...
613
00:37:47,653 --> 00:37:50,645
...they might think, "Maybe there
is something to it."
614
00:37:50,893 --> 00:37:52,212
You don't want to do that.
615
00:37:52,493 --> 00:37:53,642
You're angry.
616
00:37:54,093 --> 00:37:56,971
I think what you're really
looking for is an apology.
617
00:37:57,493 --> 00:38:00,132
And you deserve one.
Ally insulted a woman...
618
00:38:00,373 --> 00:38:03,012
...who she probably deep down
wishes she could be.
619
00:38:03,693 --> 00:38:06,730
Let her apologize.
And let us all move on.
620
00:38:07,213 --> 00:38:12,128
Forgiveness is a virtue too, you know,
even more divine than chastity.
621
00:38:16,093 --> 00:38:18,209
If she apologizes.
622
00:38:19,293 --> 00:38:20,487
Ally.
623
00:38:24,693 --> 00:38:28,322
I'm sorry, Kimmie.
624
00:38:30,213 --> 00:38:31,407
I was wrong.
625
00:38:31,613 --> 00:38:35,401
I hope you accept my apology.
626
00:38:39,173 --> 00:38:41,403
- Okay, with attorney fees.
- Lf you think...
627
00:38:41,613 --> 00:38:42,807
That would be acceptable.
628
00:38:43,293 --> 00:38:44,612
I think we have a deal.
629
00:38:45,293 --> 00:38:46,851
Yes. Bravo.
630
00:38:49,853 --> 00:38:53,243
How dare you make me apologize
to that vile, rabid yak.
631
00:38:53,493 --> 00:38:55,085
Talk about groveling!
632
00:38:55,293 --> 00:38:57,329
I wanted to make the lawsuit
go away, which it did.
633
00:38:57,533 --> 00:38:58,363
It wasn't worth...
634
00:38:58,573 --> 00:39:01,087
- Yes, it was.
- To have to suck up to her?
635
00:39:01,293 --> 00:39:02,931
This was a stupid case.
636
00:39:03,173 --> 00:39:05,323
- Any half-assed lawyer...
- That would be me.
637
00:39:05,533 --> 00:39:07,683
...would've declared it
"Nelle" and void with one motion.
638
00:39:07,973 --> 00:39:09,770
Null and void. Nelle's your colleague.
639
00:39:09,973 --> 00:39:13,409
Who you're dating. It's inappropriate.
I suppose you're seeing her tonight?
640
00:39:13,613 --> 00:39:15,285
No, I'll be with her mother.
641
00:39:15,773 --> 00:39:17,923
This case is over. You can go now.
642
00:39:20,253 --> 00:39:21,242
I don't want to go.
643
00:39:22,013 --> 00:39:25,562
Ditch the father-and-son act. I
declare Nelle void, we'll get dinner.
644
00:39:25,773 --> 00:39:26,603
Done.
645
00:39:27,293 --> 00:39:29,602
<i>ALLY:
It happened that fast.</i>
646
00:39:30,693 --> 00:39:33,002
<i>It wasn 't hard ending things
with the boys.</i>
647
00:39:33,213 --> 00:39:38,412
<i>I didn 't want to be Michael's daughter
or have Jonathan calling me "mom."</i>
648
00:39:38,773 --> 00:39:40,729
<i>They were both relieved, actually...</i>
649
00:39:40,973 --> 00:39:45,728
<i>... though Michael went right to
the piano and sang "September Morn."</i>
650
00:39:46,053 --> 00:39:47,202
<i>And me...</i>
651
00:39:47,813 --> 00:39:50,247
<i>... I finally felt that wonderful
feeling of terror.</i>
652
00:39:50,453 --> 00:39:53,809
<i>You know, that feeling you get
when you're up there without a net?</i>
653
00:39:54,653 --> 00:39:55,847
<i>Every minute, every hour</i>
654
00:39:56,093 --> 00:39:58,129
<i>I'm going to shower you</i>
655
00:39:58,373 --> 00:40:00,807
<i>With love and affection</i>
656
00:40:01,053 --> 00:40:03,203
<i>Look out, baby
I'm coming in your direction</i>
657
00:40:03,413 --> 00:40:07,804
<i>I'm gonna make you love me</i>
658
00:40:08,013 --> 00:40:09,924
<i>Yes, I will</i>
659
00:40:15,093 --> 00:40:18,403
I can't believe he chose her over you.
660
00:40:18,613 --> 00:40:23,812
He's just more comfortable in his own
league. He can do better than that.
661
00:40:24,373 --> 00:40:26,603
But she went out with him.
662
00:40:26,853 --> 00:40:30,562
I don't appreciate you bringing
that candy-ass in this bar.
663
00:40:30,973 --> 00:40:35,012
It's bad enough Ally hires him. You
bringing him into this establishment...
664
00:40:35,213 --> 00:40:37,602
Lawyer likes to mark his own turf.
665
00:40:37,813 --> 00:40:40,646
- I've marked all over this room.
- I'll keep that in mind.
666
00:40:42,173 --> 00:40:45,404
Will you stop? I'm not kissing you
tonight. I have a canker.
667
00:40:45,893 --> 00:40:48,202
It isn't about that. Trust me.
668
00:40:51,493 --> 00:40:52,608
Look at them.
669
00:40:54,733 --> 00:40:56,405
I think they like each other.
670
00:41:01,813 --> 00:41:04,930
<i>Baby, baby, baby, baby</i>
671
00:41:05,173 --> 00:41:06,288
<i>Yes, I will</i>
672
00:41:07,453 --> 00:41:11,082
Why did you encourage me to date the
father and son if you were interested?
673
00:41:11,293 --> 00:41:15,047
Lt'd be unethical for a therapist
to hit on his patient.
674
00:41:15,253 --> 00:41:18,051
- And a lawyer hitting on his client?
- I can only be so ethical.
675
00:41:18,253 --> 00:41:19,322
- Larry?
- Hm.
676
00:41:20,493 --> 00:41:22,609
- Shut up.
- Done.
677
00:41:31,693 --> 00:41:36,005
<i>Ally: The thing about walking alone is
it allows you to reflect on the day.</i>
678
00:41:36,213 --> 00:41:39,205
<i>And I couldn 't wait
to reflect on this one.</i>
679
00:41:39,413 --> 00:41:42,007
<i>But I guess that'll have to wait.</i>
680
00:42:36,373 --> 00:42:37,442
You stinker!
681
00:42:37,693 --> 00:42:38,682
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
682
00:42:38,853 --> 00:42:39,842
[ENGLISH SDH]
|
1
00:00:03,453 --> 00:00:04,488
Твой сын?
2
00:00:05,413 --> 00:00:07,131
Папа?
3
00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,725
Но... Что?
4
00:00:10,973 --> 00:00:14,011
Боже мой!
5
00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:17,693
<i>В такие моменты мне хочется иметь пульт...</i>
6
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:22,052
<i>...который перемотает время на 15 секунд.
Решение отложено.</i>
7
00:00:25,614 --> 00:00:27,047
А вот и твой брат.
8
00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:30,128
Элли, это мой сын Джонатан.
9
00:00:30,375 --> 00:00:31,364
Думаю, мы знакомы.
10
00:00:31,575 --> 00:00:33,725
Знакомы? Мы ходили на свидание.
11
00:00:33,975 --> 00:00:35,203
Еще раз здравствуй.
12
00:00:35,455 --> 00:00:37,685
-Что?
-Теперь всё понятно.
13
00:00:37,935 --> 00:00:42,053
Я думала: "Как я могла за одну неделю познакомиться
с двумя мужчинами...
14
00:00:42,255 --> 00:00:45,089
...которые привлекательны и так похожи друг на
друга?"
15
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:46,809
Теперь всё ясно. Забавно.
16
00:00:47,016 --> 00:00:49,974
<i>Но у меня нет такого пульта...</i>
17
00:00:52,696 --> 00:00:54,609
Мне очень надо в туалет.
18
00:00:58,656 --> 00:01:00,648
Элли Макбил
19
00:01:00,777 --> 00:01:04,816
4 сезон, 4 серия
20
00:01:05,377 --> 00:01:07,652
"Без преград"
21
00:02:03,661 --> 00:02:06,573
<i>Однажды я вспомню об этом и посмеюсь.</i>
22
00:02:07,621 --> 00:02:11,614
<i>Или заплАчу. Одно из двух, я уверена.</i>
23
00:02:11,821 --> 00:02:13,220
Элли?
24
00:02:13,981 --> 00:02:16,415
Кимми. Кимми Бишоп.
25
00:02:16,781 --> 00:02:18,294
Кимми...
26
00:02:18,541 --> 00:02:20,339
-Привет!
-Как дела?
27
00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:21,611
Замечательно.
28
00:02:22,502 --> 00:02:25,016
Элли Макбил, девочки. Девочки, Элли.
29
00:02:25,222 --> 00:02:26,974
Какое совпадение. Я здесь с членами...
30
00:02:27,182 --> 00:02:29,901
"Женщин Нравственного Суда" Массачусетса.
31
00:02:30,142 --> 00:02:31,621
Я его президент, слава богу.
32
00:02:31,862 --> 00:02:34,980
Просто потрясающе! Боже, после стольких лет.
33
00:02:35,543 --> 00:02:39,013
Элли баллотировалась на "Скромницу года"
три раза подряд.
34
00:02:39,223 --> 00:02:40,497
Вообще-то, два.
35
00:02:40,823 --> 00:02:43,621
Я так завидовала. Я устала приглашать ее присоединиться
к нашей Христианской Коалиции...
36
00:02:43,823 --> 00:02:45,814
...но ничего не вышло. Я думала:
37
00:02:46,023 --> 00:02:49,732
"Она нам нужна. Она пример для подражания."
Разве я не права?
38
00:02:49,983 --> 00:02:53,294
Ну, я почти присоединилась. Особенно когда ты
пообещала мне...
39
00:02:53,504 --> 00:02:55,859
бесплатные контрацептивы под столом.
40
00:02:56,104 --> 00:02:58,254
Но когда я залезла туда за ними...
41
00:02:58,464 --> 00:03:00,819
я нашла тебя пожирающей моего парня.
42
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:07,500
-Элли всегда была шутницей.
-Я бы с удовольствием осталась и поболтала.
43
00:03:08,185 --> 00:03:10,699
Но у меня свидание с отцом и сыном.
44
00:03:10,905 --> 00:03:13,783
А сегодня они привели сестру, которая...
45
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,941
Ну, всё может выйти из-под контроля.
46
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:23,102
Привет. Что я пропустила?
47
00:03:23,346 --> 00:03:25,302
Ну, очевидно, что у нас...
48
00:03:25,546 --> 00:03:29,425
довольно невероятная ситуация, но я...
49
00:03:30,546 --> 00:03:33,219
Я собираюсь вычеркнуть себя из этого уравнения.
50
00:03:33,626 --> 00:03:35,059
Пап, это я выхожу из игры, ясно?
51
00:03:35,306 --> 00:03:36,500
Я не буду встречаться с женщиной...
52
00:03:37,066 --> 00:03:39,786
...которой нравится мой сын.
-Как будто мне нужна девушка...
53
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:43,059
...которую возбуждает мой отец.
-Мужчины в моем возрасте не возбуждают.
54
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:46,105
Да ладно, пап. Ты пел ей Нила Даймонда.
55
00:03:46,347 --> 00:03:47,462
Джонатан, забудь об этом.
56
00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:50,904
-У меня может быть свое мнение на сей счет?
-Конечно.
57
00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:52,506
Как ты говоришь, очевидно...
58
00:03:52,747 --> 00:03:57,299
что у нас тут довольно необычные обстоятельства.
59
00:03:57,508 --> 00:03:58,861
Извините, я пойду.
60
00:04:01,268 --> 00:04:05,022
Извини, Элли. Может, кому-то это нипочем, но...
61
00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:07,818
...он мой сын, и...
62
00:04:09,228 --> 00:04:12,665
Прости, мне тоже нужно время. Прошу прощения.
63
00:04:21,589 --> 00:04:24,387
-Значит, они оба тебя бросили?
-Типа того.
64
00:04:24,749 --> 00:04:26,627
Я бы не встречалась с парнем,
65
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:28,582
которому понравится моя мать.
66
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:29,779
Это не одно и то же.
67
00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:33,619
Твоя мать - старое морщинистое существо.
Майкл хотя бы немного симпатичный.
68
00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:36,460
- Для реликвии.
-Думаю, эти пижамные вечеринки...
69
00:04:36,670 --> 00:04:38,069
выполнили свое предназначение.
70
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:41,023
- Не понимаю, почему ты не можешь встречаться
с обоими.
- Что, прости?
71
00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:43,062
Согласна. Мы все сидим в этой комнате...
72
00:04:43,311 --> 00:04:45,222
жалуемся на дефицит нормальных мужчин.
73
00:04:45,471 --> 00:04:47,541
Ты встретила двоих, оба неженаты.
74
00:04:48,151 --> 00:04:50,267
Одни отношения препятствуют другим,
75
00:04:50,511 --> 00:04:54,424
но это не запрещено.
76
00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:56,821
И в свете дефицита...
77
00:05:09,872 --> 00:05:12,306
- Джонатан.
- Ничего не говори.
78
00:05:12,552 --> 00:05:15,989
Прости за то, что я ушел. Но я был так...
79
00:05:16,753 --> 00:05:18,186
...растерян.
80
00:05:18,473 --> 00:05:22,625
Я никогда не встречал никого, с кем ощущал бы
такую связь.
81
00:05:22,833 --> 00:05:25,506
Я хотел заняться с тобой любовью сразу, как только
увидел...
82
00:05:25,713 --> 00:05:26,907
сидящей за тем столом.
83
00:05:27,153 --> 00:05:28,900
- Даже глядя на тебя сейчас...
- Джонатан.
84
00:05:29,153 --> 00:05:31,622
Пожалуйста, я должен это сказать. Я пришел сюда...
85
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:34,473
убедиться, что ты знаешь, что мой уход...
86
00:05:34,674 --> 00:05:37,234
не означает незаинтересованности.
87
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,943
Могу я кое-что спросить?
88
00:05:41,154 --> 00:05:43,827
-Прежде чем...
-Нет, позволь мне спросить. Тебе...
89
00:05:44,114 --> 00:05:46,788
нравится мой отец потому, что он классный парень?
90
00:05:47,835 --> 00:05:51,145
Или он привлекает тебя сексуально?
91
00:05:58,235 --> 00:06:00,430
Мы можем потом поговорить?
92
00:06:01,516 --> 00:06:02,631
Да...
93
00:06:03,716 --> 00:06:05,229
Буду ждать.
94
00:06:20,197 --> 00:06:23,633
<i>Мне спокойнее думать, что всё происходит
по какой-то причине.</i>
95
00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:26,710
<i>Будет просто здорово однажды поверить
в это.</i>
96
00:06:26,957 --> 00:06:30,029
-Эй!
-Я тут иду.
97
00:06:30,997 --> 00:06:32,635
Ты!
98
00:06:35,838 --> 00:06:36,820
Кимми.
99
00:06:37,038 --> 00:06:39,598
Ты унизила меня перед моими друзьями.
100
00:06:39,798 --> 00:06:41,151
Людьми, которые уважают меня.
101
00:06:42,678 --> 00:06:46,432
О, Кимми, прости. Я не знала, что они тебя уважают.
102
00:06:46,638 --> 00:06:49,517
Я разочарована тем, каким грубым человеком ты
стала.
103
00:06:50,199 --> 00:06:53,236
Не могу поверить, что способна сказать то, что
скажу, но...
104
00:06:53,439 --> 00:06:55,953
Чтоб тебе остаться в одиночестве!
105
00:07:00,399 --> 00:07:03,630
О, и мы не случайно столкнулись.
106
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:07,908
Я только что из твоего офиса, где я оставила тебе
жалобу и повестку в суд.
107
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,838
-Что?
-Я подаю на тебя в суд...
108
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,553
за клевету, сучка!
109
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,828
Простите, сестра. Я не хотела.
110
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:19,636
Она немного набрала вес, и ее диафрагма сжалась.
111
00:07:21,521 --> 00:07:23,989
Прибавь это к своим жалобам, ведьма.
112
00:07:26,921 --> 00:07:28,991
Ну что же это такое!
113
00:07:29,201 --> 00:07:32,273
Прости. Если бы я тебя заметил, я бы пригнул плечо.
114
00:07:32,561 --> 00:07:34,836
Ларри!
115
00:07:35,041 --> 00:07:36,235
-Как жизнь?
-Хорошо.
116
00:07:36,481 --> 00:07:39,042
Иду на работу, расталкиваю пешеходов.
117
00:07:39,282 --> 00:07:42,240
-Выпила первую чашку кофе?
-Точно.
118
00:07:42,602 --> 00:07:43,830
-А ты как?
-Хорошо.
119
00:07:44,082 --> 00:07:46,391
До сих пор заставляю людей думать, что я психотерапевт,
120
00:07:46,642 --> 00:07:48,917
повесив табличку "Поверенный в суде"
на дверь.
121
00:07:54,323 --> 00:07:55,642
-Элли?
-Привет.
122
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,196
Привет. Как Брайан?
123
00:07:57,763 --> 00:08:00,641
Он уже в прошлом.
124
00:08:00,843 --> 00:08:03,880
Сейчас я встречаюсь с отцом и сыном. Долгая история.
125
00:08:04,123 --> 00:08:06,114
Я познакомилась с отцом, начала с ним встречаться.
126
00:08:06,363 --> 00:08:07,921
Я познакомилась с сыном, тоже начала с ним встречаться.
127
00:08:08,163 --> 00:08:10,155
-Я не знала, а теперь...
-Бывает.
128
00:08:11,404 --> 00:08:13,042
Что ж, если тебе понадобится жилетка...
129
00:08:13,244 --> 00:08:14,472
-...я могу прикинуться ею.
-Спасибо.
130
00:08:14,764 --> 00:08:17,836
-Хорошо. Рад был снова увидеться.
-Я тоже.
131
00:08:43,326 --> 00:08:45,965
Сначала Элли. Что там с твоим судом?
132
00:08:46,206 --> 00:08:49,403
Кимми Бишоп. Помнишь ее со времен учебы?
133
00:08:49,646 --> 00:08:51,477
Помню ли я ее? Бесполое чудовище.
134
00:08:51,726 --> 00:08:54,445
Женщина с собственными яйцами.
135
00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:59,240
Привет, Марк. Мы говорили не о твоей девушке,
клянусь.
136
00:08:59,487 --> 00:09:02,320
-Почему она судится с тобой?
-Клевета, дискредитация.
137
00:09:02,807 --> 00:09:04,320
Это нелепо.
138
00:09:04,527 --> 00:09:09,555
-Это может прозвучать бессердечно...
-Из твоих уст? Не может быть.
139
00:09:10,247 --> 00:09:13,718
В то время как я считаю себя очень терпимым человеком...
140
00:09:14,528 --> 00:09:18,840
...Марк встречается с человеком, который... Фу!
Это ужасно.
141
00:09:19,048 --> 00:09:20,481
И когда всё станет известно...
142
00:09:20,688 --> 00:09:24,044
а это случится, потому что это отличная история...
143
00:09:24,248 --> 00:09:26,842
...это поставит в неловкое положение не только
тебя, но и фирму.
144
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,728
-Каким образом?
-Ты же адвокат.
145
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:32,563
Ты стоишь перед судьями и присяжными.
146
00:09:32,849 --> 00:09:35,317
Как думаешь, сколько доверия ты будешь иметь...
147
00:09:35,569 --> 00:09:38,288
...когда твои собратья узнают, что твоя девушка...
148
00:09:38,529 --> 00:09:40,042
...имеет мужской прибор?
149
00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:44,841
Права геев тут ни при чем. Это...
150
00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:49,409
...просто цирк, и это отвратительно.
-Это мое личное дело.
151
00:09:49,650 --> 00:09:53,279
Это не касается фирмы. И этот разговор окончен.
152
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,044
Ладно.
153
00:09:58,410 --> 00:10:02,040
Далее. Майклс против Хендерсона. Я думаю...
154
00:10:02,971 --> 00:10:04,245
Элли?
155
00:10:04,851 --> 00:10:06,603
Майкл Бассет пришел.
156
00:10:09,811 --> 00:10:11,039
Майкл!
157
00:10:12,771 --> 00:10:16,526
Я пришел извиниться за свой вчерашний побег.
158
00:10:16,772 --> 00:10:19,445
Я был... Думаю, я был разбит.
159
00:10:19,692 --> 00:10:21,569
Что ж, я понимаю.
160
00:10:22,172 --> 00:10:24,083
-Но правда в том...
-Ты имел на меня виды...
161
00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:27,648
...и был слегка смущен появлением своего сына?
162
00:10:28,412 --> 00:10:32,247
Слушай, я не собираюсь соперничать с Джонатаном.
163
00:10:33,213 --> 00:10:35,773
Но разве не для этого ты пришел?
164
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:40,284
Что ты чувствуешь к Джонатану?
Я спрашиваю только потому...
165
00:10:40,533 --> 00:10:43,252
Я только что познакомилась с тобой. И с ним.
166
00:10:43,453 --> 00:10:45,967
И вы оба кажетесь очень милыми парнями.
167
00:10:46,173 --> 00:10:50,645
Но еще слишком рано знать что-либо наверняка.
168
00:10:50,854 --> 00:10:55,086
Да, наверное... Что ж, почему бы мне просто не
сказать это?
169
00:10:55,814 --> 00:10:57,486
Мы с Джонатаном согласны...
170
00:10:57,694 --> 00:11:00,845
...что ты, ВОЗМОЖНО, самая невероятная женщина
на земле...
171
00:11:01,054 --> 00:11:04,764
...и будет очень печально, если хотя бы один из
нас не получит тебя.
172
00:11:05,655 --> 00:11:07,373
Вот это ответ.
173
00:11:07,615 --> 00:11:10,652
И я пришел сказать, что мы не будем соперничать.
174
00:11:10,895 --> 00:11:13,045
Это будет твой выбор.
175
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,564
Как я могу сделать подобный выбор?
176
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:19,085
Если вы попросите меня подбросить монетку, я не
буду этого делать.
177
00:11:19,335 --> 00:11:23,648
Чтобы сделать осознанный выбор, я должна продолжать
видеть вас обоих.
178
00:11:23,896 --> 00:11:25,124
<i>Неужели я это сказала?</i>
179
00:11:27,816 --> 00:11:29,374
Это несколько странно, Элли.
180
00:11:30,976 --> 00:11:34,764
Я не буду обмениваться телесными жидкостями ни
с кем из вас.
181
00:11:36,417 --> 00:11:38,806
Пока поле выбора не сузится до одного.
182
00:11:39,057 --> 00:11:41,287
А теперь иди.
183
00:11:42,537 --> 00:11:46,052
Иди и своди своего сына на игру.
184
00:11:46,617 --> 00:11:49,848
А я встречусь с тобой первым сегодня.
185
00:11:53,618 --> 00:11:55,051
Когда-нибудь я посмеюсь над этим.
186
00:11:55,258 --> 00:11:59,046
Когда-нибудь я посмеюсь над этим.
Когда-нибудь я посмеюсь над этим.
187
00:12:07,939 --> 00:12:09,958
Ты собираешься встречаться и с тем, и с другим?
188
00:12:09,999 --> 00:12:11,376
-Я чокнулась?
-Это близко к истине.
189
00:12:11,619 --> 00:12:13,291
Так трудно встретить нормального парня...
190
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:16,855
...который не окажется сбежавшим преступником,
чудиком или женщиной.
191
00:12:17,099 --> 00:12:18,293
[Марк] Эй, ну хватит.
192
00:12:18,539 --> 00:12:20,734
-Вы можете прекратить?
-Извини.
193
00:12:20,979 --> 00:12:23,733
А что если у тебя всё получится с одним из них?
Представляешь? Ты можешь выйти замуж.
194
00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:26,454
Родственники мужа придут на День Благодарения...
195
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:29,260
-...в ожидании куска индейки.
-Это личное, Ричард.
196
00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:32,249
-Твоя зарплата заморожена.
-Что, прости?
197
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:36,049
Я получил предупреждение из суда. Кимми Бишоп
подала одностороннее ходатайство.
198
00:12:36,260 --> 00:12:37,454
-Что?
-Судебный приказ.
199
00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:40,653
Я должен начать удерживать зарплату, поместить
на депозит.
200
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:41,930
Элейн?
201
00:12:42,621 --> 00:12:45,055
Я хочу ответить на это.
202
00:12:49,341 --> 00:12:53,254
-Ты в порядке?
-Да. Просто вздрогнула.
203
00:12:55,062 --> 00:12:56,654
-Синди, привет.
-Привет, Марк.
204
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,574
-Что случилось?
-У меня кое-какие дела...
205
00:12:58,782 --> 00:13:01,854
...неподалеку. Я решила зайти и поздороваться.
206
00:13:04,942 --> 00:13:09,493
Короче, я закончу к полудню. Хочешь пообедать?
207
00:13:09,742 --> 00:13:10,730
-Конечно.
-Отлично.
208
00:13:10,983 --> 00:13:13,258
-Я зайду, когда закончу.
-Отлично.
209
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,055
Да. Хорошо.
210
00:13:28,984 --> 00:13:30,463
Привет еще раз.
211
00:13:31,304 --> 00:13:32,453
Привет.
212
00:13:35,104 --> 00:13:37,060
Мой член тебя нервирует.
213
00:13:50,785 --> 00:13:51,854
Эй!
214
00:13:52,785 --> 00:13:56,619
Элли. Постой-ка. У сына есть близнец.
215
00:13:56,985 --> 00:13:58,464
Смешно.
216
00:14:00,066 --> 00:14:01,499
Я хочу нанять тебя.
217
00:14:02,346 --> 00:14:03,335
Нанять меня?
218
00:14:03,626 --> 00:14:05,184
Со мной судятся.
219
00:14:05,426 --> 00:14:08,543
Я могла бы взять кого-то из нашей фирмы...
220
00:14:08,746 --> 00:14:10,304
...но решила, что разумнее...
221
00:14:10,506 --> 00:14:13,464
...нанять адвоката со стороны.
-Полагаю, ты меня проверила?
222
00:14:19,387 --> 00:14:22,584
Ты кажешься умным, и раз уж ты работаешь один...
223
00:14:22,787 --> 00:14:25,062
...я решила, что ты будешь достойно представлять
меня.
224
00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:27,337
-Если ты не хочешь браться за это...
-Хочу.
225
00:14:27,587 --> 00:14:31,467
-Что ж, хорошо. Прекрасно. Отлично.
-Отлично.
226
00:14:31,868 --> 00:14:34,063
Тогда ладно.
227
00:14:36,868 --> 00:14:39,860
Элли, я могу ошибаться, но ты ни о чем не хочешь
поговорить?
228
00:14:40,108 --> 00:14:43,817
Что? Нет. А что? О чем я должна говорить?
229
00:14:44,428 --> 00:14:46,259
-О деле.
-А.
230
00:14:47,549 --> 00:14:49,983
Это... Я забыла.
231
00:14:52,389 --> 00:14:54,459
Забавно. Да.
232
00:14:54,709 --> 00:14:57,781
Во время ужина с отцом и сыном...
233
00:14:58,029 --> 00:15:00,702
...я встретила пуританскую ведьму, которую я знала
на юрфаке.
234
00:15:00,949 --> 00:15:04,181
Она была с подругами, одетыми в пояса целомудрия
от Гуччи...
235
00:15:04,430 --> 00:15:07,388
И я упомянула о том, что она подсовывала мне контрацептивы.
236
00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:09,905
Она говорит, что это ее компроментирует. Она подала
жалобу.
237
00:15:10,150 --> 00:15:13,620
Она изменила свое заявление после того, как я
сказала кое-что...
238
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:17,345
...о сжавшейся диафрагме в присутствии монахини.
239
00:15:17,590 --> 00:15:21,140
Поэтому я сижу здесь, с замороженными счетами.
240
00:15:21,511 --> 00:15:24,184
Ну что, есть какие-нибудь мысли?
241
00:15:24,511 --> 00:15:25,739
Ты богата?
242
00:15:26,991 --> 00:15:29,061
Не думаю, что это уместный вопрос.
243
00:15:29,311 --> 00:15:32,189
Чтобы наложить арест на средства ответчика, нужно
показать...
244
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,230
...что у нее нет очевидных средств для улаживания
конфликта.
245
00:15:35,432 --> 00:15:37,388
Суд должен быть против нее.
246
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:42,467
Если ты богата, мы можем аннулировать арест после
небольшого разбирательства.
247
00:15:42,672 --> 00:15:46,267
Вот почему я спросил. Я не хотел показаться бестактным.
248
00:15:47,192 --> 00:15:50,344
Я плачу аренду и могу купить хороший костюм.
249
00:15:50,553 --> 00:15:52,350
Но это не значит, что я богата.
250
00:15:52,593 --> 00:15:54,151
Хорошо. Не замужем.
251
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:57,347
-А была когда-нибудь?
-Нет.
252
00:15:58,353 --> 00:16:01,665
-А это тут при чем?
-Ни при чем. Просто интересно.
253
00:16:02,353 --> 00:16:04,787
Я не богата. Мне нужна моя зарплата.
254
00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:08,709
-Как мы сможем снять арест с денег?
-Давай пойдем в суд.
255
00:16:08,954 --> 00:16:11,707
Сложная проблема дискредитирует закон. Я думаю,
это основано на половых различиях.
256
00:16:11,954 --> 00:16:15,230
Мы покажем этой ведьме, что нас не проведешь.
257
00:16:16,034 --> 00:16:17,831
Кстати, она подсовывала тебе контрацептивы?
258
00:16:18,074 --> 00:16:22,865
-Нет. Я съязвила.
-Я назначу слушание на 15.00.
259
00:16:23,075 --> 00:16:24,986
-Ты можешь встретить меня там?
-Могу.
260
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,509
Хорошо.
261
00:16:27,275 --> 00:16:30,073
-Жалоба?
-Нет, все хорошо.
262
00:16:30,315 --> 00:16:34,228
-Жалоба. Ты принесла ее?
-А, да. Принесла.
263
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,190
Хорошо, увидимся в суде.
264
00:16:40,676 --> 00:16:44,510
-Что еще мне нужно знать?
-Скорее всего, сын проживет дольше.
265
00:16:56,317 --> 00:16:57,670
Джон?
266
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:01,112
-Да?
-Что ты делаешь?
267
00:17:01,317 --> 00:17:04,275
Я либо играю в пинг-понг, либо вишу вверх ногами.
268
00:17:04,517 --> 00:17:06,951
Догадаешься или используешь подсказку?
269
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,313
-Могу я поговорить с тобой?
-Конечно.
270
00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:12,749
Ничего, что я стою?
271
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:15,512
Здесь замешаны гениталии твоей девушки?
272
00:17:15,998 --> 00:17:17,954
Вообще-то, да. Как ты узнал?
273
00:17:18,198 --> 00:17:22,635
У тебя на уме столько всего, Марк. Ну хорошо.
274
00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:30,677
Мне нужно честное, непредвзятое, обоснованное
мнение.
275
00:17:31,199 --> 00:17:33,155
-Брось это.
-Бросить ЭТО?
276
00:17:33,599 --> 00:17:35,635
Его, ее. Какая разница. Брось это.
277
00:17:36,159 --> 00:17:39,674
Слушай, я знаю, что у нас никогда не будет секса.
Ты представляешь?
278
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,437
Я бы предпочел этого не делать.
279
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,395
Слушай, Марк, платоническая любовь, как известно,
существует.
280
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,950
Возможно, есть множество причин быть с этой женщиной.
281
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,631
И только одна против.
282
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,671
Но, поскольку недостатки остаются...
283
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,717
У НЕЕ ЕСТЬ ЧЛЕН!
284
00:17:59,201 --> 00:18:03,080
Значит, Нэлл была права. Ты отрицательно относишься
к человеку, который...?
285
00:18:03,281 --> 00:18:07,354
Хотел бы я сказать, что я достаточно терпимый,
чтобы поддержать тебя, но...
286
00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:09,200
...я не могу этого сказать.
287
00:18:21,962 --> 00:18:23,600
Не думай, что я не знаю, что ты делаешь.
288
00:18:24,162 --> 00:18:27,359
-И что я делаю, Кимми?
-Пытаешься подать кучу ходатайств.
289
00:18:27,562 --> 00:18:31,522
Посылаешь сообщения, что вести это дело будет
стоить мне успеха.
290
00:18:31,763 --> 00:18:34,482
Это будет долгий забег.
Если хочешь знать, почему...
291
00:18:34,683 --> 00:18:36,082
Она вас дискредитировала?
292
00:18:37,643 --> 00:18:39,440
Не для протокола, я поражен.
293
00:18:40,603 --> 00:18:45,075
Вы подлый? Я бы не удивилась, найми она подлого
адвоката.
294
00:18:45,284 --> 00:18:46,922
-Такого же, как она сама.
-Ким?
295
00:18:48,404 --> 00:18:50,076
Всем встать.
296
00:18:50,524 --> 00:18:52,640
Можете не вставать. Садитесь.
297
00:18:53,004 --> 00:18:55,677
На каком основании вы хотите отклонить жалобу...
298
00:18:55,924 --> 00:18:58,563
в тот же день, когда она подана?
299
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:02,003
Жалоба основана на общих законных принципах...
300
00:19:02,245 --> 00:19:05,476
...которые рассматривают нападение на
женское целомудрие как клевету.
301
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,075
Закон устарел и допускает дискриминацию.
302
00:19:08,285 --> 00:19:11,595
Почему мужчину можно называть нецеломудренным,
а женщину нет?
303
00:19:11,805 --> 00:19:15,639
-Это намекает на ее неразборчивость.
-Большинство девушек скажут спасибо...
304
00:19:15,845 --> 00:19:19,839
...за комплимент. Неразборчивость не унизительна
для сегодняшнего общества.
305
00:19:20,046 --> 00:19:22,606
- А для моей клиентки - да.
- Если даже слова мисс Макбил...
306
00:19:22,806 --> 00:19:25,274
обидели мисс Бишоп, проверить ответственность...
307
00:19:25,526 --> 00:19:27,357
можно, если они будут стоить ей...
308
00:19:27,606 --> 00:19:29,881
- хорошей репутации в глазах других.
- Именно.
309
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,646
Остальные сидящие за столом были членами...
310
00:19:32,887 --> 00:19:35,845
...Массачусетского Женского Нравственного Суда.
311
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,965
Мисс Макбил обвинила ее в передаче контрацептивов
312
00:19:39,207 --> 00:19:42,279
и в совершении гнусного, мерзкого орального акта...
313
00:19:42,527 --> 00:19:44,324
...с ее парнем под столом.
314
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,680
Секунду, Ваша Честь.
315
00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:52,359
-Ты ничего не забыла мне сказать?
-Неважно.
316
00:19:54,368 --> 00:19:57,041
Хочу снова напомнить, что эти законы были приняты
в те дни, когда...
317
00:19:57,248 --> 00:20:00,320
Конгресс и общественность признавали добрачный
секс не только позорным...
318
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:05,485
но и когда оральный секс был фактически уголовным
преступлением в большинстве штатов.
319
00:20:06,729 --> 00:20:10,119
-Сейчас более просвещенное время.
-Ваш клиент сделал замечания...
320
00:20:10,329 --> 00:20:13,287
...перед группой людей, и ей было известно, что
это вызовет смущение.
321
00:20:13,649 --> 00:20:15,241
Ваше прошение отклонено.
322
00:20:19,289 --> 00:20:21,360
Элли, мне не нравятся сюрпризы на суде.
323
00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:25,165
Если я и дальше буду представлять тебя, ты ознакомишь
меня...
324
00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:27,201
...со всеми пикантными деталями. Тебе понятно?
325
00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:30,123
<i>Когда он был таким строгим со мной, я
поняла, что он мне нравится.</i>
326
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:33,640
<i>Надеюсь, это не значит, что в глубине
души я хотела, чтобы меня отшлепали.</i>
327
00:20:34,130 --> 00:20:37,089
-Довольна?
-Кимми, это вам.
328
00:20:37,331 --> 00:20:39,367
-Что это?
-Уведомление о даче показаний.
329
00:20:39,611 --> 00:20:41,920
У нас состоится небольшой разговор...
330
00:20:42,131 --> 00:20:45,089
...в присутствиии стенографиста, который все записывает.
Элли?
331
00:20:54,412 --> 00:20:58,724
Я должен извиниться. Мне не стоило навязывать
свое ханжество.
332
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,005
Боюсь, ты не единственный.
333
00:21:05,772 --> 00:21:09,891
У меня был неудачный опыт в подростковом возрасте.
334
00:21:10,693 --> 00:21:15,244
Я пригласил на свидание красивого парня, думая,
что это девушка.
335
00:21:16,133 --> 00:21:19,011
Когда он согласился, я, естественно, почуял неладное.
336
00:21:19,253 --> 00:21:21,847
Я поспрашивал. Ошибка была выявлена.
337
00:21:22,293 --> 00:21:26,082
Но теперь, если красивая женщина хочет встретиться
со мной...
338
00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,609
...я немедленно спрашиваю себя:
339
00:21:28,814 --> 00:21:30,167
"У нее есть ЭТО?"
340
00:21:30,374 --> 00:21:31,409
Джон...
341
00:21:31,614 --> 00:21:34,492
Я подбираюсь к сути. Потерпи.
342
00:21:35,254 --> 00:21:38,485
Несколько лет назад я встречался с милой женщиной
с усами.
343
00:21:39,054 --> 00:21:41,808
Они были окрашены, почти не видны, но когда я
поцеловал ее...
344
00:21:42,015 --> 00:21:44,688
...я почувствовал щетину.
345
00:21:49,215 --> 00:21:50,648
У меня развилась эта судорога.
346
00:21:50,855 --> 00:21:53,369
Даже мысль о щетине снова вызывает ее.
347
00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:55,972
Ты к этому вел?
348
00:21:56,216 --> 00:21:58,935
Мы ходили к психотерапевту, который специализируется...
349
00:21:59,176 --> 00:22:01,565
...на парах, сталкивающихся со своеобразными проблемами...
350
00:22:01,776 --> 00:22:05,325
...таких как неравное происхождение, религия,
щетина на губах.
351
00:22:06,096 --> 00:22:07,848
Его компетенция не только...
352
00:22:08,096 --> 00:22:10,564
...помогает людям принять друг друга...
353
00:22:10,816 --> 00:22:14,571
...но и помогает обществу принять их как пару.
354
00:22:14,817 --> 00:22:17,206
Я думаю, тебе следует пойти к нему...
355
00:22:17,417 --> 00:22:21,695
...хотя бы для того, чтобы увидеть, насколько
непреодолимы ваши проблемы.
356
00:22:47,779 --> 00:22:51,931
<i>Трепет пропал. Он поет Нила Даймонда,
а мне нипочем.</i>
357
00:22:52,179 --> 00:22:55,091
<i>Я даже не думаю о его сыне.</i>
358
00:23:14,940 --> 00:23:18,900
-Ты порвала с ним?
-Нет, но меня уже тошнит от него.
359
00:23:19,101 --> 00:23:21,615
Он пел "Ты не принес мне цветы"?
360
00:23:21,861 --> 00:23:25,376
Нет, видимо, оставил на потом.
361
00:23:25,581 --> 00:23:28,857
-Что ты ему сказала?
-Что мне нужно больше свободы в этом деле.
362
00:23:29,061 --> 00:23:32,498
Меня могли распять. Те, в адрес кого я отпускала
замечания,
363
00:23:32,702 --> 00:23:36,581
настолько чисты и добродетельны,
что им клевету и доказывать не надо.
364
00:23:37,102 --> 00:23:39,297
Почему ты наняла Ларри Пола для защиты?
365
00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:42,771
Я решила, что разумнее нанять адвоката со стороны.
366
00:23:42,982 --> 00:23:44,256
Я адвокат со стороны.
367
00:23:46,422 --> 00:23:49,972
Но мы соседки. У нас с тобой личные отношения.
368
00:23:50,223 --> 00:23:51,656
Понятно.
369
00:23:53,423 --> 00:23:57,655
-А с Ларри Полом ничего личного?
-Что? Нет. С ним? Ну прямо.
370
00:23:57,903 --> 00:24:01,134
Он просто... Он просто... понимаешь...
371
00:24:01,383 --> 00:24:02,862
...такой...
372
00:24:03,944 --> 00:24:05,457
...аппетитный.
373
00:24:12,064 --> 00:24:14,976
Ты проверяла его...
374
00:24:15,224 --> 00:24:17,784
...чтобы узнать, может ли он вообще тебя защищать?
375
00:24:18,104 --> 00:24:22,098
Видела бы ты его в суде. Он знает свое дело.
376
00:24:22,385 --> 00:24:25,457
Что ж, я тоже его проверила.
377
00:24:25,705 --> 00:24:27,457
Он женат.
378
00:24:30,465 --> 00:24:32,057
Правда?
379
00:24:32,265 --> 00:24:33,618
Да.
380
00:24:35,266 --> 00:24:38,656
Ну, он просто мой адвокат, Рене. Между нами ничего
нет.
381
00:24:39,026 --> 00:24:41,620
-Хорошо.
-Это не значит, что он не может меня защищать.
382
00:24:41,866 --> 00:24:46,496
Вокруг меня сейчас полно мужчин всех возрастов.
Даже связанных родством.
383
00:24:51,147 --> 00:24:54,856
У меня завтра будет тяжелый день. Кимми даст показания...
384
00:24:55,067 --> 00:24:57,945
...а потом, возможно, и я. Так что пойду убью
себя.
385
00:24:59,347 --> 00:25:00,382
Подготовлю...
386
00:25:00,747 --> 00:25:04,262
...себя.
387
00:25:34,029 --> 00:25:35,542
Элли, что привело тебя сюда?
388
00:25:35,909 --> 00:25:39,869
Что привело меня сюда? Дача показаний. Помнишь?
389
00:25:40,510 --> 00:25:44,219
Я назначил их у тебя, пока у меня нет конференц-зала.
390
00:25:44,430 --> 00:25:48,309
Не представляю, как ты собираешься работать без
конференц-зала.
391
00:25:48,550 --> 00:25:51,986
-Что-то случилось. Садись.
-Я не сяду.
392
00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:56,065
Спорим, тебе нравится заставлять девушек приходить
и садиться.
393
00:25:56,271 --> 00:25:58,739
Если это не касается дела, я не сяду.
394
00:25:59,071 --> 00:26:03,587
Хорошо. Я собирался кое о чем спросить у тебя...
395
00:26:03,831 --> 00:26:06,265
...и, кажется, сейчас подходящее время.
396
00:26:08,271 --> 00:26:10,581
Элли, ты чокнутая? Что случилось?
397
00:26:10,832 --> 00:26:13,187
Я эксцентричная, ясно? Имею право.
398
00:26:13,552 --> 00:26:16,669
У меня судебный иск, и нет стратегии защиты.
399
00:26:16,912 --> 00:26:18,982
Мне сказали, что я проиграю.
400
00:26:19,232 --> 00:26:21,905
За мной бегают два парня. Оба мне вроде как нравятся.
401
00:26:22,152 --> 00:26:26,270
Но было бы грубо обманывать их, поскольку один
произошел из семени другого.
402
00:26:26,513 --> 00:26:28,469
-И еще...
-Что еще?
403
00:26:29,713 --> 00:26:31,066
Ничего. Это всё.
404
00:26:35,633 --> 00:26:36,827
Я говорил, что разберусь с этим иском.
405
00:26:37,033 --> 00:26:39,388
Что касается отца и сына, тут ничего особенного.
406
00:26:39,633 --> 00:26:41,624
Женщины встречаются с мужчинами, у которых есть
братья.
407
00:26:41,953 --> 00:26:44,912
А парни уходят от девушек к их сестрам.
408
00:26:45,114 --> 00:26:48,948
Такое случается. С отцом и сыном более необычно,
но что с того?
409
00:26:49,194 --> 00:26:52,823
-Если тебе нравятся оба, встречайся с обоими.
Мир не перевернется.
-Особенно твой.
410
00:26:53,794 --> 00:26:56,672
-Я чего-то не понимаю?
-Нет, Ларри. Ты всё понял.
411
00:27:04,155 --> 00:27:08,068
Дело в том, что все мы разные.
412
00:27:08,435 --> 00:27:11,984
Некоторые различия скрыты. Некоторые очевидны.
413
00:27:12,235 --> 00:27:15,308
Физические различия... Ну, тут все просто.
414
00:27:15,556 --> 00:27:19,151
Эти расхождения можно соединить принятием.
415
00:27:19,396 --> 00:27:23,548
Это душевное или эмоциональное неравенство,
416
00:27:23,796 --> 00:27:26,071
которое оказывается гораздо более злокачественным,
417
00:27:26,276 --> 00:27:29,188
особенно тогда, когда эти различия загнаны внутрь.
418
00:27:29,436 --> 00:27:32,395
Вы все хрупкие, чувствительные создания.
419
00:27:32,597 --> 00:27:36,829
А семейные пары уязвимы вдвойне.
420
00:27:40,237 --> 00:27:41,875
Такси!
421
00:27:42,157 --> 00:27:43,476
Синди!
422
00:27:44,517 --> 00:27:46,270
Это было унизительно.
423
00:27:46,518 --> 00:27:48,668
-Я не урод!
-Я этого не говорил.
424
00:27:48,918 --> 00:27:52,467
Тогда что это было? Колобок, карлик, двухголовый
мужчина?
425
00:27:52,678 --> 00:27:53,997
И женщина с пенисом.
426
00:27:56,478 --> 00:27:57,877
Я не урод.
427
00:28:00,078 --> 00:28:02,468
Но если ты так обо мне думаешь, Марк...
428
00:28:03,559 --> 00:28:05,470
...тогда давай просто забудем всё это.
429
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,959
Ким Бишоп уже здесь со своим адвокатом и стенографисткой.
430
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,557
-Кто это?
-Мой адвокат, Ларри Пол.
431
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:28,475
-Моя ассистентка, Элейн Вассал.
-Приятно познакомиться.
432
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,997
Элли, прежде чем мы войдем, запомни: ты не должна
враждовать с ней.
433
00:28:36,241 --> 00:28:40,234
Я с этим разберусь, но ты должна вести себя хорошо.
Лучше молчи.
434
00:28:40,441 --> 00:28:41,430
Хорошо.
435
00:28:42,321 --> 00:28:43,800
-Кто это?
-Не знаю.
436
00:28:44,001 --> 00:28:46,205
Какой-то парень, который будет сохнуть по мне.
437
00:28:46,241 --> 00:28:49,074
Линг, ты думаешь, все мужчины хотят тебя?
438
00:28:50,002 --> 00:28:51,481
Да.
439
00:28:52,562 --> 00:28:54,792
Извините за опоздание. Давайте сразу приступим
к записи.
440
00:28:55,002 --> 00:28:58,961
Мы можем отказаться от протестов, если только
они не являются вопросом?
441
00:28:59,162 --> 00:29:00,595
-Хорошо.
-Ок.
442
00:29:00,842 --> 00:29:02,673
Кимми, я задам вам серьезные вопросы.
443
00:29:02,882 --> 00:29:04,873
Уверен, ваш адвокат вам уже объяснил.
444
00:29:05,082 --> 00:29:07,119
Если вы не поймете вопрос...
445
00:29:07,323 --> 00:29:09,883
...дайте мне знать, и я постараюсь выражаться
яснее.
446
00:29:11,243 --> 00:29:13,916
Итак, Кимми, думаю, заявление, сделанное мисс
Макбил...
447
00:29:14,163 --> 00:29:18,475
...уже в протоколе, как и ваша обида. И мой вопрос
следующий:
448
00:29:19,243 --> 00:29:21,040
Почему вы так расстроены?
449
00:29:21,444 --> 00:29:24,197
-Как вы вообще можете спрашивать...?
-Пока вы не ответили, позвольте спросить:
450
00:29:24,444 --> 00:29:29,472
Люди действительно думают о вас как о целомудренном
человеке?
451
00:29:30,044 --> 00:29:33,036
-Безусловно.
-Я имею в виду тех, кто вас знает.
452
00:29:33,244 --> 00:29:35,314
Они знают, что я невинна, мистер Пол.
453
00:29:35,564 --> 00:29:38,682
Элли могла ошибиться?
454
00:29:38,925 --> 00:29:41,598
Насчет передачи ей контрацептивов?
455
00:29:42,005 --> 00:29:44,394
О пожирании ее парня?
456
00:29:44,645 --> 00:29:49,480
Предположим, Элли считает, что всё это было. Может
ли она ошибаться?
457
00:29:49,685 --> 00:29:52,563
Перестаньте. Она знает, что я никогда не сделала
бы ничего подобного.
458
00:29:52,805 --> 00:29:56,719
А что насчет членов Нравственного Клуба? Они легко
могли сделать ту же ошибку, что и Элли, и подумать...
459
00:29:56,966 --> 00:29:59,275
Эти люди знают меня особым образом.
460
00:29:59,686 --> 00:30:02,120
Они не могли по ошибке принять вас за поставщика
контрацептивов?
461
00:30:02,326 --> 00:30:03,554
Ни за что на свете.
462
00:30:03,846 --> 00:30:05,643
-Они ей не поверили?
-Ни на секунду.
463
00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:07,040
-Ким...
-Вы уверены в этом?
464
00:30:07,286 --> 00:30:09,278
Абсолютно!
465
00:30:09,727 --> 00:30:13,322
Ну вот, Кимми, мы закончили. Это было не больно,
не так ли?
466
00:30:18,287 --> 00:30:19,879
Что я такого сказала?
467
00:30:26,928 --> 00:30:28,407
<i>Цепи...</i>
468
00:30:28,648 --> 00:30:32,687
<i>Мой милый заковал меня в цепи</i>
469
00:30:33,088 --> 00:30:35,522
<i>И они не мягкие</i>
470
00:30:37,008 --> 00:30:39,442
<i>Как ты видишь</i>
471
00:30:39,688 --> 00:30:41,088
Он был так спокоен.
472
00:30:41,329 --> 00:30:44,639
Она призналась еще до того,
как успела понять, что она сказала.
473
00:30:45,649 --> 00:30:46,798
Значит, дело закрыто?
474
00:30:47,009 --> 00:30:49,204
Нет, те женщины могли поверить мне...
475
00:30:49,409 --> 00:30:52,719
...поэтому у нас будет заседание завтра и, надеюсь,
мы избавимся от этого.
476
00:30:53,209 --> 00:30:56,885
Если так, тебе повезет. Женское целомудрие уязвимо
само по себе.
Тебе придется...
477
00:30:57,090 --> 00:30:58,808
- предъявить доказательства, я знаю.
478
00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:04,083
-Как твой отец?
-Лучше.
479
00:31:04,290 --> 00:31:08,203
Он сказал, что вчера с ним пел весь зал, а ты
просто сидела.
480
00:31:08,730 --> 00:31:11,688
Ну, Джонатан, это слишком бросается в глаза.
481
00:31:15,811 --> 00:31:17,085
Что такое?
482
00:31:17,451 --> 00:31:21,444
Просто мой адвокат кое с кем из моей фирмы.
483
00:31:21,691 --> 00:31:24,080
-Мир тесен, я полагаю.
-Даже слишком.
484
00:31:25,091 --> 00:31:28,163
-Извини, я на секунду.
-Конечно.
485
00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:42,802
Привет, Элли. Ты знаешь Ларри.
486
00:31:43,012 --> 00:31:44,411
Да, знаю.
487
00:31:44,853 --> 00:31:48,050
Ларри, ты не против поговорить о завтрашнем заседании?
488
00:31:54,533 --> 00:31:58,208
-Ты знаешь Нэлл?
-Я встретил ее сегодня у тебя в офисе.
489
00:31:58,453 --> 00:32:00,888
Она пригласила меня выпить. Она вроде ничего.
490
00:32:03,014 --> 00:32:04,083
Классные волосы.
491
00:32:06,374 --> 00:32:08,251
Ты женат, Ларри.
492
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,847
Ты не думаешь, что это немного неуместно?
493
00:32:12,054 --> 00:32:13,169
-Нет.
-Нет?
494
00:32:13,374 --> 00:32:14,602
Я разведен.
495
00:32:17,695 --> 00:32:20,732
Хорошо, то есть нет. То есть... Неважно, наверное.
496
00:32:23,055 --> 00:32:27,287
Не хочу прерывать, Элли, но твой спутник, похоже,
в опасности.
497
00:32:27,495 --> 00:32:29,372
Элейн источает феромоны.
498
00:32:30,295 --> 00:32:31,728
Спасибо, Нэлл.
499
00:32:32,776 --> 00:32:34,653
-Увидимся завтра.
-Я приду.
500
00:32:46,856 --> 00:32:49,530
-Все нормально?
-Да.
501
00:33:06,618 --> 00:33:08,097
Это действительно к лучшему, Марк.
502
00:33:08,298 --> 00:33:11,210
Я ничего не имею против транссексуалов, совершенно
ничего.
503
00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:14,416
Но лучше их не трогать, тем более... Ну ты понимаешь.
504
00:33:14,658 --> 00:33:16,091
Почему бы вам не остаться друзьями?
505
00:33:16,338 --> 00:33:18,613
Может, так и должно быть.
506
00:33:18,858 --> 00:33:22,329
Просто она первая женщина, с которой я мог говорить
так...
507
00:33:22,579 --> 00:33:24,376
Позволь мне сказать тебе кое-что о женщинах.
508
00:33:24,939 --> 00:33:27,499
Не разговаривай с ними.
Иначе они будут отвечать.
509
00:33:27,699 --> 00:33:30,896
Женщины должны быть бесстыжими и бессердечными.
Фишизм.
510
00:33:31,139 --> 00:33:32,857
Синди бесстыжая. Привет.
511
00:33:33,259 --> 00:33:34,897
Она никогда не станет матерью...
512
00:33:35,980 --> 00:33:39,097
Синди, привет... привет.
Мы говорили о тебе.
513
00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:41,734
Да, я слышала тебя, Ричард.
514
00:33:41,940 --> 00:33:45,819
Я старался представить точку зрения гомофоба.
515
00:33:46,060 --> 00:33:49,291
-Могу я остаться с Марком?
-Конечно. Уже ухожу.
516
00:33:50,620 --> 00:33:52,896
Прости. Извини меня.
517
00:34:02,941 --> 00:34:04,499
Ты считаешь меня уродом?
518
00:34:05,381 --> 00:34:08,852
Я считаю тебя необычной.
519
00:34:09,582 --> 00:34:12,892
Как-то ты сказал мне, что видишь во мне женщину.
520
00:34:13,782 --> 00:34:15,534
И что ты хочешь продолжать в том же духе.
521
00:34:16,782 --> 00:34:20,457
У нас никогда не будет половых отношений. Ты замечательный
человек.
522
00:34:20,702 --> 00:34:24,218
Но, возможно, на меня повлияло то, что другие
думают о нас.
523
00:34:24,423 --> 00:34:29,292
Тогда давай просто будем взрослыми людьми и признаем,
что ничего не получится.
524
00:34:35,583 --> 00:34:36,857
Прощай, Марк.
525
00:34:37,383 --> 00:34:38,372
Прощай.
526
00:34:42,544 --> 00:34:46,093
Ричард, за всю твою поддержку.
527
00:35:02,665 --> 00:35:05,020
- Элли.
- Нэлл.
528
00:35:05,225 --> 00:35:07,136
- Ларри уже здесь?
- Нет.
529
00:35:07,385 --> 00:35:09,296
Мы все еще ждем его.
530
00:35:09,545 --> 00:35:12,014
Вы вчера гуляли допоздна?
531
00:35:12,226 --> 00:35:14,342
Я не смотрела на часы.
532
00:35:14,586 --> 00:35:16,178
Счастливые часов не наблюдают.
533
00:35:19,946 --> 00:35:23,222
Значит, вы поладили?
534
00:35:24,106 --> 00:35:25,095
Ну...
535
00:35:25,786 --> 00:35:28,347
- Ты опоздал!
- Пардон.
536
00:35:28,587 --> 00:35:29,986
- Нэлл.
- Ларри.
537
00:35:33,587 --> 00:35:35,305
Идем уже.
538
00:35:37,987 --> 00:35:39,420
Тот факт, что мисс Бишоп думает, что женщины за
столом
539
00:35:39,627 --> 00:35:43,337
могли не принять всерьез замечания мисс Макбил,
540
00:35:43,548 --> 00:35:44,947
не урегулирует конфликт.
541
00:35:45,188 --> 00:35:47,224
Если бы они не поверили в ее заявления
542
00:35:47,428 --> 00:35:52,058
или даже предположили бы, что заявления
мисс Макбил основаны на истине,
543
00:35:52,268 --> 00:35:54,224
иск все равно имеет основания.
544
00:35:55,308 --> 00:35:57,776
Кимми, я проверил. Вы очень уважаемы
545
00:35:57,988 --> 00:36:01,026
среди вашей группы. Лично я восхищаюсь девственницами.
546
00:36:01,269 --> 00:36:03,339
Собственно, я их коллекционирую. Уверен, что вы
тоже.
547
00:36:03,709 --> 00:36:04,937
Подлец.
548
00:36:05,149 --> 00:36:08,505
Вот что я думаю. Вы назвали Элли образцом целомудрия.
549
00:36:08,709 --> 00:36:10,904
Это может быть рассмотрено как оскорбление...
550
00:36:11,109 --> 00:36:14,499
Вы сказали: "Вот что я думаю", но так
и не перешли к сути.
551
00:36:18,110 --> 00:36:21,898
Те женщины за столом, вероятно, сочли это
не более чем кошачьей дракой.
552
00:36:22,110 --> 00:36:25,022
Я уверен, что они не поверили в то, что она сказала,
553
00:36:25,270 --> 00:36:29,309
но когда вы предъявляете за это иск, когда вы
идете в суд,
554
00:36:29,750 --> 00:36:32,743
они могут подумать: "Наверное, там что-то
не так".
555
00:36:32,991 --> 00:36:34,310
Вы ведь не хотите этого.
556
00:36:34,591 --> 00:36:35,740
Вы разгневанны.
557
00:36:36,191 --> 00:36:39,069
Думаю, вы хотите именно извинений.
558
00:36:39,591 --> 00:36:42,230
И вы их заслуживаете. Элли оскорбила женщину,
559
00:36:42,471 --> 00:36:45,110
которой, в глубине души, возможно, она хотела
бы быть.
560
00:36:45,791 --> 00:36:48,829
Позвольте ей извиниться. И давайте разойдемся.
561
00:36:49,312 --> 00:36:54,227
Прощение - это тоже добродетель, может,
даже более священная, чем целомудрие.
562
00:36:58,192 --> 00:37:00,308
Если она извинится.
563
00:37:01,392 --> 00:37:02,586
Элли.
564
00:37:06,793 --> 00:37:10,422
Прости меня, Кимми.
565
00:37:12,313 --> 00:37:13,507
Я была неправа.
566
00:37:13,713 --> 00:37:17,501
Надеюсь, ты примешь мои извинения.
567
00:37:21,274 --> 00:37:23,504
-Хорошо, если возместишь издержки.
-Если ты думаешь...
568
00:37:23,714 --> 00:37:24,908
Это вполне приемлемо.
569
00:37:25,394 --> 00:37:26,713
Думаю, мы договорились.
570
00:37:27,394 --> 00:37:28,952
Да. Браво.
571
00:37:31,954 --> 00:37:35,345
Как ты смеешь заставлять меня извиняться
перед этой мерзкой, бешеной коровой!
572
00:37:35,595 --> 00:37:37,187
Какое унижение!
573
00:37:37,395 --> 00:37:39,431
Я хотел разделаться с иском, я это сделал.
574
00:37:39,635 --> 00:37:40,465
Это не стоило...
575
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:43,189
-Нет, стоило.
-Подлизываться к ней и оплачивать издержки?
576
00:37:43,395 --> 00:37:45,033
-Это было дурацкое дело.
-Ты его начала.
577
00:37:45,275 --> 00:37:47,425
-Любой недоделанный адвокат...
-Видимо, это ты обо мне.
578
00:37:47,635 --> 00:37:49,785
...мог объявить, что это Нэлл без палочки.
579
00:37:50,075 --> 00:37:51,873
Ноль без палочки. Нэлл твоя коллега.
580
00:37:52,076 --> 00:37:55,512
С которой ты встречаешься. И я считаю это неприемлемым.
Полагаю, ты увидишь ее сегодня?
581
00:37:55,716 --> 00:37:57,388
Нет, у меня свидание с ее матерью.
582
00:37:57,876 --> 00:38:00,026
Дело закрыто. Теперь можешь идти.
583
00:38:02,356 --> 00:38:03,345
Я не хочу уходить.
584
00:38:04,116 --> 00:38:07,666
Разберись с отцом-и-сыном.
Я дам Нэлл отставку, и мы поужинаем.
585
00:38:07,877 --> 00:38:08,707
Заметано.
586
00:38:09,397 --> 00:38:11,706
<i>Это произошло так быстро.</i>
587
00:38:12,797 --> 00:38:15,106
<i>Покончить с парнями было не так трудно.</i>
588
00:38:15,317 --> 00:38:20,516
<i>Я не хотела быть дочерью для Майкла или
чтобы Джонатан звал меня мамой.</i>
589
00:38:20,877 --> 00:38:22,834
<i>Они оба были свободны...</i>
590
00:38:23,078 --> 00:38:27,833
<i>...хотя Майкл пошел к пианино и спел
"Сентябрьское утро".</i>
591
00:38:28,158 --> 00:38:29,307
<i>А я...</i>
592
00:38:29,918 --> 00:38:32,352
<i>...наконец-то ощутила это прекрасное
чувство.</i>
593
00:38:32,558 --> 00:38:35,914
<i>Вам знакомо это чувство, когда душа взмывает
вверх, не встречая никаких преград?</i>
594
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,510
Не могу поверить, что он предпочел тебе её.
595
00:39:00,720 --> 00:39:05,919
С ней у него больше шансов. Он способен на большее.
596
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,710
Но она пошла на свидание .. с ним.
597
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,670
Я не одобряю то, что ты привела этого труса в
наш бар.
598
00:39:13,081 --> 00:39:17,120
Достаточно того, что Элли наняла его.
Ты приводишь его в это заведение...
599
00:39:17,321 --> 00:39:19,710
Юрист любит метить свою территорию.
600
00:39:19,921 --> 00:39:22,754
-Я пометил весь этот зал.
-Я это запомню.
601
00:39:24,281 --> 00:39:27,513
Может, хватит? Я все равно не буду с тобой целоваться.
У меня стоматит.
602
00:39:28,002 --> 00:39:30,311
Дело не в этом, поверь мне.
603
00:39:33,602 --> 00:39:34,717
Только посмотри на них.
604
00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:38,514
Мне кажется, они нравятся друг другу.
605
00:39:49,563 --> 00:39:53,192
Если я тебе нравилась, зачем ты подстрекал меня
встречаться с отцом и сыном?
606
00:39:53,403 --> 00:39:57,157
Я не знал, нравлюсь ли тебе, к тому же, психотерапевт
не может встречаться с пациентом.
607
00:39:57,363 --> 00:40:00,162
- А адвокат может запасть на клиента?
- Я признаю только такую этику.
608
00:40:00,364 --> 00:40:01,433
Ларри?
609
00:40:02,604 --> 00:40:04,720
-Заткнись.
-Уже.
610
00:40:13,805 --> 00:40:18,117
<i>Прогулка в одиночестве позволяет тебе
подумать о прошедшем дне.</i>
611
00:40:18,325 --> 00:40:21,317
<i>И я очень хотела подумать об этом.</i>
612
00:40:21,525 --> 00:40:24,119
<i>Но, думаю, это подождет.</i>
|