1
00:00:12,330 --> 00:00:17,830
? I bet we've been together
for a million years ?
2
00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:23,100
? and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ?
3
00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:26,030
? oh, it's like
I started breathing ?
4
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,830
? on the night we kissed
5
00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:34,060
? and I can't remember
what I ever did before ?
6
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:37,030
? what would we do, baby
7
00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:39,800
? without us?
8
00:00:39,830 --> 00:00:42,430
? what would we do, baby
9
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:45,060
? without us?
10
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,700
? and there ain't no nothin' ?
11
00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:49,500
? we can't love
each other through ?
12
00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:50,960
? ooh-hoo
13
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,060
? what would we do, baby
14
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,700
? without us?
15
00:00:56,730 --> 00:01:00,230
? sha-la-la-la.
16
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,510
Elyse, I can't believe
all this luggage.
17
00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:10,050
There shouldn't be
more suitcases
18
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,650
than members of the family.
19
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,080
I don't know how to break this
to you, Steven,
20
00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:14,250
but these are Mallory's.
21
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,510
Ours are still upstairs.
22
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,680
Okay, ready to go.
23
00:01:19,710 --> 00:01:21,510
Let's hit those slopes.
24
00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:23,510
Mallory, where are your skis?
25
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,050
Skis? Why would I bring skis?
26
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,950
It's a ski trip.
27
00:01:26,980 --> 00:01:28,950
Oh, that's
the outdoor part, mom.
28
00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:31,450
Let's not forget
the great indoors.
29
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,380
Parties, boys...
30
00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:35,480
Games, boys.
31
00:01:35,510 --> 00:01:37,550
I'll get your skis.
32
00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:39,680
Are you gonna
ski with me this year, Alex?
33
00:01:39,710 --> 00:01:40,710
No way, Jennifer.
34
00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:42,150
I tried skiing with you
last year,
35
00:01:42,180 --> 00:01:43,950
and it didn't work out.
36
00:01:43,980 --> 00:01:46,250
I'll stay on the bunny slope
with you this time.
37
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,750
I promise.
38
00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:48,980
That's what you said last year,
39
00:01:49,010 --> 00:01:50,310
a-and then as soon
as we got up there,
40
00:01:50,350 --> 00:01:52,910
you dragged me off
to Deadman's Gulch.
41
00:01:52,950 --> 00:01:54,680
Why do you always
have to ski the top?
42
00:01:54,710 --> 00:01:56,210
Because it's there.
43
00:01:57,110 --> 00:01:58,880
Okay, this should do it!
44
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,310
Everybody grab a bag or two,
45
00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:01,750
and let's go for it.
46
00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:03,110
Okay. Okay.
47
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:04,110
Honey.
48
00:02:04,150 --> 00:02:05,710
Okay. Oh!
49
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,180
It's coming down pretty hard.
50
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,350
Well, what do you want to do?
51
00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:09,610
I say we all make a run for it.
52
00:02:09,650 --> 00:02:10,610
Ready? Okay!
53
00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:11,910
Come on, bundle up.
54
00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:13,410
Okay, let's go!
55
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:14,450
Yay!
56
00:02:15,910 --> 00:02:17,150
Here we go!
57
00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:24,650
Here we come!
58
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:27,010
Aaah!
59
00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:36,380
Maybe we could go away
for the fourth of July instead.
60
00:02:36,410 --> 00:02:38,310
Well, maybe the storm
will pass in a few minutes.
61
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,100
Meanwhile,
we'll have to stay here.
62
00:02:40,130 --> 00:02:41,100
Stay here?
63
00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:42,100
For Christmas?
64
00:02:42,130 --> 00:02:43,560
Oh, it'll be nice.
65
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,860
Just the family at home
in front of the fire.
66
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,400
What are we, a hallmark card?
67
00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:49,760
Sounds good to me.
68
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,130
Maybe we could open up
a few Christmas presents early.
69
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,260
Now you're talking
my kind of Christmas.
70
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,160
I don't...
I don't know.
71
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,660
I'm against this.
72
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,760
Tradition says
you don't open presents
73
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,660
till Christmas morning.
74
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,060
Hey, is that
big blue one for me?
75
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,500
Keep your tiny
little hands off that.
76
00:03:06,530 --> 00:03:08,230
That's my present to mom.
77
00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:10,400
Steven, I want you
to open this one first.
78
00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:11,860
It's from me to you.
79
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,060
Well... well, really,
it's for the whole family.
80
00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:15,830
Oh, no.
81
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:18,600
Another "whole family" gift?
82
00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:21,400
Not another trash compactor.
83
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,260
A photo album.
84
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:27,000
And unless I missed my guess,
85
00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:29,100
there's a brand-new
camera to go along with it.
86
00:03:29,130 --> 00:03:30,900
No, no camera.
87
00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:32,860
Oh, just an album, huh?
88
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:34,500
No camera?
89
00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:36,300
Yeah, just the album.
Don't you remember?
90
00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:38,200
We said we were gonna
be creative this year
91
00:03:38,230 --> 00:03:39,460
and make gifts,
instead of spending
92
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,760
a lot of money
Christmas shopping?
93
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:41,800
Well, I-i know we said it.
94
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,860
I-I just didn't know
we meant it.
95
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:45,900
Why don't you
just open the album?
96
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:49,760
Hey, peace corps pictures!
97
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,230
I'd rather have
a trash compactor.
98
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:53,960
Where'd you dig these up?
99
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,300
Well, that's the surprise.
100
00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:57,130
See, the whole album
is filled with pictures
101
00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,060
from the time that we met
until the present.
102
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,360
Oh, thank you, honey.
103
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,430
That's very sweet. Oh!
104
00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:05,460
Hey, look, there's one
of Alex as a baby.
105
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,960
Why is he wearing a tie?
106
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,660
Those are beads.
107
00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:11,030
Alex wearing beads?
108
00:04:11,060 --> 00:04:13,330
I want this one enlarged.
109
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,600
Hey, look.
110
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:17,660
It wasn't my choice
to be born in Africa.
111
00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:28,630
Oh, I got to sit down.
112
00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:30,430
Me too.
113
00:04:34,530 --> 00:04:35,730
Oh, I'm sorry.
114
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:36,830
Are you okay?
115
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,830
Yeah, is it hot,
or is it just me?
116
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:42,550
Oh.
117
00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:43,980
It's 109.
118
00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:45,410
It's just you.
119
00:04:45,450 --> 00:04:47,050
Did you happen to hear
120
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,180
the weather forecast
for tomorrow?
121
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:50,380
I did, Elyse.
122
00:04:50,410 --> 00:04:52,680
It's gonna cool off
a little tomorrow.
123
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:53,710
They say the old Mercury
124
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:56,680
will be dipping down
to about 105.
125
00:04:56,710 --> 00:05:00,050
The humidity should
be about minus 14.
126
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,810
Is this at least
a record-breaking drought
127
00:05:01,850 --> 00:05:03,410
we're living through?
128
00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:05,750
No, no. There was
a longer one last year.
129
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:08,410
In fact, this is still
last year's drought.
130
00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:09,610
Sorry I brought it up.
131
00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:10,850
I shouldn't talk about it.
132
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,180
The more I talk about it,
the more it bothers us.
133
00:05:13,210 --> 00:05:15,810
You're right. Let's not
bring up the drought again.
134
00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:20,350
Dry enough for you?
135
00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:21,510
Max.
136
00:05:21,550 --> 00:05:22,750
I'm sorry, Elyse.
137
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:25,410
The drought is really
starting to get to me.
138
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,080
And it's not just me, either.
139
00:05:27,110 --> 00:05:29,150
I saw a camel
buying an airline ticket.
140
00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:31,410
Look. Look, Max.
141
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:33,610
It's not that bad,
and don't forget,
142
00:05:33,650 --> 00:05:36,580
tomorrow the villagers
are doing that big rain dance.
143
00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:38,510
I'm glad you told me.
I was gonna wash my car.
144
00:05:39,650 --> 00:05:41,280
Look, we can't
let them go through
145
00:05:41,310 --> 00:05:43,580
with this rain ceremony, can we?
146
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,610
Why not? It sounds fascinating.
147
00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,650
No. It's ridiculous.
148
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,250
Look, I want to see
the end to this drought
149
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:50,510
as much as the next man,
150
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,350
but, uh, we can't
have the people going off
151
00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:55,980
and performing some crazy ritual
152
00:05:56,010 --> 00:05:58,310
that perpetuates
superstition and fear.
153
00:05:58,350 --> 00:05:59,350
Why not?
154
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,780
It gives me the willies.
155
00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:03,050
There's something to be said
156
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,350
for their way of life
as it is now.
157
00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:05,350
You know, they...
158
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,350
They live in Harmony
with nature.
159
00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:10,050
They... they have a close,
intimate connection to the land.
160
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,650
You can't take that away.
161
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,850
And... and just give them
a-a toaster oven and...
162
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,280
And an alarm clock in return.
163
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,810
How 'bout we throw in
some flashlights?
164
00:06:18,850 --> 00:06:21,910
Some of those guys get
a big kick out of that stuff.
165
00:06:21,950 --> 00:06:24,750
Can I ask you
a personal question, Max?
166
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,050
Yeah, sure.
167
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,880
Why did you choose
Africa as a place
168
00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:30,210
to do your Peace Corps service?
169
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:31,210
I didn't.
170
00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:33,680
My first choice was Miami Beach.
171
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:36,080
I mean, why did you join at all?
172
00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:38,180
Oh, um...
173
00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:40,380
It was Kennedy's speech,
I guess.
174
00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:42,480
It really inspired me.
175
00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:44,180
It made me ask
176
00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:46,950
not what my country
could do for me,
177
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:50,250
but, rather,
ask not what my country...
178
00:06:52,550 --> 00:06:53,510
had done.
179
00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:54,580
Could do.
180
00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:57,310
O-or I could do.
You know what I mean.
181
00:06:58,650 --> 00:07:00,750
Hey, it's a tough speech
to remember.
182
00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:02,680
Was that a
"here comes the baby" scream?
183
00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:05,280
I'm gonna take that as a "yes."
184
00:07:05,310 --> 00:07:07,150
Max, can you go
get Dr. Ellis, please?
185
00:07:07,180 --> 00:07:08,310
Sure.
186
00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:09,780
Okay, honey, hold on.
I'm comin'.
187
00:07:11,350 --> 00:07:12,680
You know, I think
I remember it now.
188
00:07:12,710 --> 00:07:14,480
It's,
"ask not what your country... "
189
00:07:14,510 --> 00:07:15,480
Max!
190
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:16,510
Oh, oh!
191
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,780
Are you feeling okay?
192
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:20,180
Fine. I'm just a little nervous.
193
00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:21,580
Okay, okay.
194
00:07:21,610 --> 00:07:22,910
Just relax.
195
00:07:22,950 --> 00:07:25,410
Uh, try to take your mind
off this.
196
00:07:25,450 --> 00:07:26,610
Oh, okay.
197
00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:30,180
So, uh, read any
good books lately?
198
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,580
Forget books.
What... what about movies?
199
00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:36,080
We haven't seen a movie
in 10 months, Steven.
200
00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:37,610
Elyse...
201
00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:39,350
Do you realize
what's gonna happen?
202
00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:40,810
We're going to have a baby.
203
00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:41,810
I know.
204
00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:43,080
It doesn't feel real.
205
00:07:43,110 --> 00:07:45,280
It does from here.
206
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:48,880
Elyse!
207
00:07:48,910 --> 00:07:50,610
It's raining!
208
00:07:50,650 --> 00:07:52,180
Come on out here!
209
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,450
I'm busy, Steven!
210
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,080
Oh, it's a miracle!
211
00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:01,680
Oh, let me have
a sip of your sleeve.
212
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:07,750
We're gonna be a mother, Elyse.
213
00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:10,510
I mean, we're not both
gonna be a mother.
214
00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:12,310
One of us will be the mother.
215
00:08:12,350 --> 00:08:14,080
The other one
will be the father.
216
00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:16,150
I'll be the mother, okay?
217
00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:17,450
Okay.
218
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,580
And I won't be
the kind of father who says,
219
00:08:19,610 --> 00:08:21,380
"do this. Don't do that.
220
00:08:21,410 --> 00:08:23,150
"Eat all your peas.
221
00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:24,780
Eat all my peas."
222
00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:27,550
I-I think we should
treat him or... or her
223
00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:29,850
as an autonomous individual,
224
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,750
a unique personality,
225
00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:32,750
a one in a million...
226
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:34,380
Steven! What?
227
00:08:34,410 --> 00:08:36,210
Please shut up.
228
00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:39,880
You look beautiful.
229
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,550
So do you.
230
00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:42,610
What a day.
231
00:08:44,810 --> 00:08:47,250
Let's try to remember
every detail.
232
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,980
I don't think it'll be
easy to forget.
233
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:54,510
So, what happened next?
234
00:08:56,150 --> 00:08:58,480
I don't remember. Do you, Elyse?
No.
235
00:08:58,510 --> 00:09:01,050
Well, of course I remember.
Dr. Ellis came,
236
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,350
and... and pretty soon
Alex was born.
237
00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:03,850
Made a pretty big hit
over there, too.
238
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:05,280
Everyone thought he was so cute.
239
00:09:06,350 --> 00:09:08,480
Must have been the heat.
240
00:09:08,510 --> 00:09:10,350
Whatever happened to Max?
241
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:11,610
He lives in Miami Beach,
242
00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:14,450
runs Max's kosher African Deli.
243
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,850
Closed on Saturdays
and Nigerian bank holidays.
244
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,950
Boy, am I glad I was born
right here in the USA.
245
00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:22,410
I'd hate to think I started life
246
00:09:22,450 --> 00:09:24,880
someplace where they'd never
heard of a clearance sale.
247
00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:27,450
Ha. No, when you were born,
there were other problems.
248
00:09:28,910 --> 00:09:30,550
There's one.
249
00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:37,380
Well, Mrs. Keaton,
you are definitely in labor.
250
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,850
Lucky for you, I majored
in labor relations.
251
00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:43,150
See, that's a play
on the word "labor."
252
00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:44,510
It's a joke.
253
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:46,610
Y-yeah, I know it's a joke.
I didn't think it was funny.
254
00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:48,550
I won't belabor it.
255
00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:50,710
That's one, too.
256
00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:52,880
No, it isn't.
257
00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:55,410
Nurse, could you ask
Mr. Keaton to come in, please?
258
00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:58,480
You're in the very
earliest stages of labor.
259
00:09:58,510 --> 00:09:59,880
I... I think it's gonna be
a while.
260
00:09:59,910 --> 00:10:01,050
How long do you think?
261
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,180
Your guess is as good as mine.
262
00:10:03,210 --> 00:10:05,410
Yours is supposed to be better.
263
00:10:05,450 --> 00:10:07,150
Is everything okay, doctor?
264
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,310
Well, I've got
this pulled muscle in my leg,
265
00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:10,950
but other than that, I'm fine.
266
00:10:13,350 --> 00:10:15,780
Now I see why you two get along.
267
00:10:15,810 --> 00:10:17,280
What do you two do for laughs?
268
00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:21,010
Oh, I see what
you do for laughs.
269
00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:22,680
Why don't I start all over?
Um...
270
00:10:22,710 --> 00:10:24,380
I'm Dr. Waxman. Steven Keaton.
271
00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:26,710
Nice to meet you.
Your wife is doing just fine.
272
00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:28,910
Oh, great. Wait a minute.
273
00:10:28,950 --> 00:10:30,380
Wait a minute.
274
00:10:30,410 --> 00:10:32,280
Stevie Keaton?
275
00:10:32,310 --> 00:10:34,280
Camp Cuyahoga, right?
276
00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:35,750
Right.
277
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:38,750
Well, don't you remember me?
I'm Larry Waxman.
278
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,810
Larry Waxman?
279
00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:42,410
Crazy Larry Waxman! Yeah!
280
00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:44,150
No way! No way!
281
00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:45,710
You look great.
282
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:46,850
Hey, Larry, look.
283
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,680
Ooga, booga, huh, huh!
Ooga, booga, huh, huh!
284
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:51,510
That's great.
285
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:52,980
My baby's gonna be delivered
286
00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:54,880
by someone named Crazy Larry?
287
00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:56,980
Hey, Stevie, camp song... ready?
288
00:10:57,010 --> 00:10:58,350
Ready!
289
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:01,710
Both: * we'll be
going to Cuyahoga when we go *
290
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:03,280
? when we go
291
00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:05,650
? when we get there, we'll be
there, and then we'll know ?
292
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:06,880
? then we'll know
293
00:11:06,910 --> 00:11:08,380
? we'll be roastin'
those marshmallows ?
294
00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:10,050
? with those gals
and all those fellows ?
295
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,850
? when we go to Cuyahoga,
when we go ?
296
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,950
? when we go
297
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:21,280
Campers! Campers...
Go back to your cabins.
298
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:22,980
We're having a baby here,
remember?
299
00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:25,050
I'm sorry, Elyse.
300
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,350
Sorry. It's just that I don't
get to sing that song too often.
301
00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:29,580
You can sing anything
you want tomorrow.
302
00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:31,480
You can record it tomorrow.
303
00:11:31,510 --> 00:11:33,450
Do you...
No.
304
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,210
Steve, I want you to know
305
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:36,310
this baby stuff is easy.
306
00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:37,810
You've got nothing
to worry about.
307
00:11:37,850 --> 00:11:40,710
It's... it's a breeze...
Routine procedure.
308
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:42,480
You're gonna
pull through this just fine.
309
00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:44,010
I know. This is my second baby.
310
00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:46,080
Really? It's my first.
311
00:11:46,110 --> 00:11:47,310
Oh, come on!
312
00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:49,580
Gotcha!
313
00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:51,550
Elyse: Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!
314
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,650
Remember me?
I'm the one having the baby.
315
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,550
Oh, yeah. Well, uh...
316
00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:56,750
Everything seems to be okay.
317
00:11:56,780 --> 00:11:57,910
You feel all right, honey?
318
00:11:57,950 --> 00:12:00,080
Yeah, I'm fine.
Hey, what about the test?
319
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,680
You don't need a test.
You're pregnant.
320
00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:02,950
I'm sure of it.
321
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:06,750
Steven has a Poli-sci final
in about 20 minutes.
322
00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:07,950
Oh. I can skip it.
323
00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:10,050
You can't skip it.
I can't leave here.
324
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,210
Steve, it's gonna be a while.
325
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,450
It could be hours.
326
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:14,750
It could be tomorrow.
327
00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:16,050
I-I think you should go.
328
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,810
I'd feel better if you did.
I'll be fine.
329
00:12:17,850 --> 00:12:19,380
You sure? Yeah.
330
00:12:19,410 --> 00:12:21,850
Steve, you go take that final.
331
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,810
Cuyahoga guys don't skip finals.
332
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:27,410
All right. You sure it's okay?
333
00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:28,480
I'm sure, baby.
334
00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:29,910
I'll be back
just as soon as I can.
335
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,250
Okay.
336
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,250
Hey, remember when they
showed us the movie "Psycho"?
337
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,410
Oh, sure.
338
00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:36,010
That's what made me
want to be a doctor.
339
00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:40,380
Both: * we'll be roastin'
those marshmallows... *
340
00:12:40,410 --> 00:12:42,950
oh! Ohh!
341
00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:45,850
S-s-Steven!
342
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,610
Nurse!
343
00:12:47,650 --> 00:12:49,680
Crazy Larry!
344
00:12:53,410 --> 00:12:56,750
I was delivered by a guy
named Crazy Larry?
345
00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:58,610
That explains a lot.
346
00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:01,280
Did Dr. Crazy
hear you call for him, mommy?
347
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:02,950
Yeah, and the funny thing was,
348
00:13:02,980 --> 00:13:04,910
he turned out
to be a terrific doctor.
349
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,550
How did you do
on the Poli-sci test, dad?
350
00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:08,580
Uh, not too well.
351
00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:10,810
For "name
the Bolshevik leaders,"
352
00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:14,950
I put, "Mallory if it's a girl,
Lenin if it's a boy."
353
00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:17,510
I got partial credit.
354
00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:20,550
Boy, it's coming down
worse than ever.
355
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:22,980
Aw, great. Now we're gonna be
stuck here together.
356
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,280
I don't think "stuck"
is the appropriate word, Alex.
357
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:26,780
Okay, trapped.
358
00:13:26,810 --> 00:13:29,150
Dad, it's light flurries,
that's all.
359
00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:30,710
We can make it.
360
00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:33,110
I can't even see
the car from here.
361
00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:35,250
Dad, you don't understand.
362
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,710
Donny Hayes is up there
waiting for me.
363
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,250
His family went last night.
364
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,880
Mallory, you don't want
your whole family
365
00:13:40,910 --> 00:13:42,010
to risk their lives
366
00:13:42,050 --> 00:13:44,080
just so you can meet
Donny Hayes, do you?
367
00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:45,450
No.
368
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,310
Maybe Alex could drive me.
369
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:50,310
Maybe we can open up
a few more presents
370
00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:52,010
if we're going to be
in all night.
371
00:13:52,050 --> 00:13:53,710
Good idea. Jennifer: Okay.
372
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:54,710
Oh, here.
373
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,780
Merry Christmas, Mallory.
374
00:13:56,810 --> 00:13:58,410
Thank you, Jennifer.
375
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:03,650
What do we get?
376
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,050
Oh, that's...
377
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,910
Great.
378
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,650
It's...
It's a very nice...
379
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,650
Woolen...
380
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:19,710
All-purpose, practical gift.
381
00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:20,750
It's a hat.
382
00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:22,180
I made it myself. Shhh.
383
00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:23,250
No kidding.
384
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:26,250
That's great.
385
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,710
I wish I had a hat like that.
386
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:28,750
You do.
387
00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:34,650
Oh, I changed my mind.
388
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,380
I love it.
389
00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:38,010
Well, I think
it's beautiful, Jennifer.
390
00:14:38,050 --> 00:14:39,210
Thank you.
391
00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:43,680
Well, I've got something
that I'd like to give now.
392
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:45,010
It's for you, Elyse.
393
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:47,480
For me? You shouldn't have.
394
00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:48,480
Should I take it back?
395
00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:49,750
Don't you dare.
396
00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:56,580
A flute! Oh, Steven!
397
00:14:56,610 --> 00:14:58,080
I made it myself.
398
00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:00,280
It's beautiful!
399
00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:02,410
Mommy, I didn't know
you could play the flute.
400
00:15:02,450 --> 00:15:04,580
I've always wanted to learn.
401
00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:08,010
Aren't there supposed
to be holes in this?
402
00:15:08,050 --> 00:15:09,780
I, uh, got a late start.
403
00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:12,110
I'll give you
the holes next year.
404
00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:13,580
Thank you, honey.
405
00:15:13,610 --> 00:15:14,580
Mmm.
406
00:15:14,610 --> 00:15:16,480
Oh, boy, here they go.
407
00:15:16,510 --> 00:15:18,810
They're not even
under the mistletoe.
408
00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:19,910
In a couple of minutes,
409
00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:22,310
they're gonna be
under the table.
410
00:15:22,350 --> 00:15:23,950
Look, maybe you'd better
tell us the story
411
00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:25,710
of when Jennifer was born.
412
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,180
Do you really want to hear it?
413
00:15:27,210 --> 00:15:29,250
No, but it's
probably the only way
414
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,110
to stop the kissing.
415
00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:39,310
Woman on P.A.:
Dr. Caro, surgery please.
416
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:41,110
Aha. T-this is interesting.
417
00:15:41,150 --> 00:15:43,450
"Childbirth can be
described as four stages...
418
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,350
"effacement, dilation,
transition, and expulsion.
419
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,550
"These stages are accomplished
by the muscular action
420
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:51,310
of the uterus,
called contractions."
421
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:52,580
Which stage are you in, Elyse?
422
00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:54,180
I'm in pain, Steven.
423
00:15:54,210 --> 00:15:55,710
We're only on page 114.
424
00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:58,380
You shouldn't be in pain
until page 156.
425
00:15:58,410 --> 00:16:00,710
Turn to page 156.
426
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:03,080
Uh... Pain... Pa...
427
00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:05,080
They have "discomfort,"
they don't have "pain."
428
00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:06,550
Write it in.
429
00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:09,510
You know, most people
don't cram for childbirth.
430
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:11,010
You see, she's way
ahead of schedule.
431
00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:12,280
The baby wasn't due until...
432
00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:13,580
next month.
433
00:16:13,610 --> 00:16:15,610
In fact, we were
on our way to vote
434
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:17,150
when the contractions started.
435
00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:19,710
Yeah, I really think
we should've voted first.
436
00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:20,810
I know what you mean.
437
00:16:20,850 --> 00:16:22,690
I think it's going to be
a very close election,
438
00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:24,650
and our votes could have
put Mcgovern over the top.
439
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,610
Have you heard anything
about the early returns?
440
00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:29,280
Well, I just came
from a Nixon victory party.
441
00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:31,180
Does that give you any clue?
442
00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:32,910
It's a little early
to tell, isn't it?
443
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,110
Well, there's 1% of the vote in,
444
00:16:35,150 --> 00:16:37,650
and Mcgovern's losing
by a 6-1 margin.
445
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,750
1%? What can you tell from that?
446
00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:41,010
It's Mcgovern's hometown.
447
00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:42,210
Ohh!
448
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,550
Shouldn't we get her
into the delivery room?
449
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,050
A delivery room's bound
to open up in a few minutes.
450
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,910
We're very busy today.
451
00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:51,650
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
Should we come back next week?
452
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,680
Sarcasm is not called for.
453
00:16:54,710 --> 00:16:56,710
Now I need some information.
454
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:57,880
Name? Oh.
455
00:16:57,910 --> 00:17:00,350
Jennifer if it's a girl.
David if it's a boy.
456
00:17:00,380 --> 00:17:02,710
Not the baby's name, sir.
457
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:05,150
Oh, sorry. Steven Keaton.
458
00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:07,550
Not your name.
The patient's name.
459
00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:08,680
Elyse Keaton.
460
00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:10,450
Thank you. Believe it?
461
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,750
Four more years with that guy?
I know.
462
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,050
Hey, dad, did you hear
the good news?
463
00:17:16,610 --> 00:17:18,280
Yeah, Alex. We heard.
464
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:20,410
We're very happy for you.
465
00:17:20,450 --> 00:17:22,880
Guess all my hard work paid off.
466
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:25,410
Yeah, I think that last-minute
mailing you sent out
467
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:27,210
had some effect.
468
00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:28,680
Sir, if those are your children,
469
00:17:28,710 --> 00:17:30,310
they must wait
in the waiting room.
470
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,410
That's how the room
got its name.
471
00:17:32,450 --> 00:17:34,850
I know, that's where they were.
Why don't you go on back now?
472
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:39,450
How are you feeling, mommy?
473
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,450
Oh, just great, honey.
474
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,110
How come when cousin Sandy's
German Shepherd had puppies,
475
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:47,410
she had eight,
and you're only gonna have one?
476
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:49,750
It's not the same
as a dog having puppies.
477
00:17:49,780 --> 00:17:52,310
Is that why you're not
having it in the garage?
478
00:17:54,150 --> 00:17:56,410
Dr. Hansen,
report to obstetrics, please.
479
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,980
She's about eight centimeters.
480
00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:00,150
I'll go check
on a delivery room.
481
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,250
Hi, Dr. Rogers. Hi, Steven.
482
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,880
Hi, Elyse. How are you feeling?
483
00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,150
Great!
484
00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:06,950
I don't think you've met
Alex and Mallory.
485
00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:07,980
Hi, kids.
486
00:18:08,010 --> 00:18:09,350
Hi. Hi.
487
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:12,650
Well, birth is a wondrous
event, isn't it, kids?
488
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,280
Mystery of nature's miracles.
489
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,100
You must have a lot
of questions about all this.
490
00:18:16,150 --> 00:18:17,110
Yeah.
491
00:18:17,150 --> 00:18:18,750
How much do you make a year?
492
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,910
Alex, you were just leaving.
493
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,300
Right, dad.
494
00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:26,260
Uh, now, Alex,
495
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:28,030
uh, you look after Mallory.
496
00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:31,060
And, uh, we'll be back
just as soon as we can,
497
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,100
and we'll have
a brand-new baby brother
498
00:18:33,130 --> 00:18:35,530
or baby sister
for you to play with.
499
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,500
I'm hopin' for a brother.
500
00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:40,100
I think I'd rather have
a German Shepherd.
501
00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:42,160
Four more years!
502
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,330
Four more years!
503
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,500
Dr. Rogers: Don't worry, Elyse.
504
00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:47,100
We'll get you into a room
in a minute.
505
00:18:47,130 --> 00:18:48,800
How you doing? Oh, well, I-i...
506
00:18:48,830 --> 00:18:50,460
Well, she started
having some discomfort
507
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:51,530
about two hours ago.
508
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:52,930
We were in the kitchen...
509
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,600
That is, the kids and I
were in the kitchen.
510
00:18:54,630 --> 00:18:56,360
And Elyse was upstairs
getting dressed.
511
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,060
See, this is totally unexpected.
512
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:01,730
N-not... not the baby,
513
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,000
but tonight.
514
00:19:03,030 --> 00:19:04,400
We haven't had a chance to vote.
515
00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:06,130
The... the election's over,
Steven!
516
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,960
See that? Irritability.
517
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,530
She's right on schedule.
518
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,260
What comes after irritability?
519
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:12,940
Uh, let's try another
breathing technique.
520
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,430
Uh, the one where
you go like this...
521
00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:15,700
Hee, hee, hee, hee.
522
00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:18,260
They say you should do it
in 4/4 rhythm...
523
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:20,300
To the tune of "Yankee Doodle."
524
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,630
Really, Elyse. It's in the book.
525
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:25,000
Here, look. Look for yourself.
526
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:27,260
Okay. I'll give it a try. Okay.
527
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,430
Do you...
Telephone, please.
528
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:30,460
Delivery room 4 is free now.
529
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,000
Let's go! All right.
530
00:19:32,030 --> 00:19:34,900
Both: * hee, hee, hee, hee
hee, hee, hee, hee... *
531
00:19:37,530 --> 00:19:38,930
Dr. Rogers:
Okay, you're doing great, Elyse.
532
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,530
Now, during
your next contraction,
533
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,100
I want you to resist
the urge to push.
534
00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:44,800
It says here
that to avoid pushing,
535
00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:45,800
you should relax
536
00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:47,730
and blow out as hard as you can.
537
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,460
That doesn't sound too tough.
538
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,930
Why don't you try it sometime?
539
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:52,960
Oh! Good.
540
00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:56,000
Two.
541
00:19:56,030 --> 00:19:57,530
Slow it down.
542
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,300
Good.
543
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:01,300
Easy.
544
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:03,460
Oh, that was perfect!
545
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,300
I can't believe
how well you're doing!
546
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,660
You don't look so bad, yourself.
547
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,430
Oh, well, thanks.
But there's nothing to it.
548
00:20:08,460 --> 00:20:10,000
How about a kiss? Oh, yeah.
549
00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:11,000
Mmm. Mmm.
550
00:20:11,030 --> 00:20:12,060
Oh! Ohh!
551
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:13,930
Whoa, that must have been
some kiss!
552
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,660
Okay, Elyse, start pushing.
553
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:16,960
Aah! Good, good.
554
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,260
Oh, hey, I can see
the baby's head.
555
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,730
Is it a boy or a girl?
556
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,260
I can't tell from the head.
557
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,300
I don't see any ponytails
or anything.
558
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:28,800
Push.
559
00:20:28,830 --> 00:20:30,360
Push.
560
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,360
There you are!
561
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,530
You have a baby...
562
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:36,730
Girl.
563
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,300
Oh, all right!
564
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:40,760
And then you opened your mouth
565
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,400
and let out a big scream!
566
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,730
And we haven't been able
to shut you up since.
567
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:46,800
Elyse: It was really terrific
568
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,530
having your daddy
in the room with me, too.
569
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,360
He was such a big help.
570
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,160
So, Alex wanted Nixon.
571
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,130
Mallory wanted a puppy.
572
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,530
What did you want, daddy?
573
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,060
Me?
574
00:20:58,100 --> 00:20:59,730
I just wanted one thing...
575
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,900
A healthy, beautiful child.
576
00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:03,100
And that's what I got.
577
00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:04,460
Three times.
578
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,330
I'm a very lucky man.
579
00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:07,830
Well, hey.
580
00:21:07,860 --> 00:21:10,300
As parents go,
you two aren't so bad.
581
00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:11,430
Thank you!
582
00:21:11,460 --> 00:21:13,100
Dad, here's a present
from us kids.
583
00:21:13,130 --> 00:21:14,700
We didn't exactly
make it, but...
584
00:21:14,730 --> 00:21:17,460
But we all worked hard
to earn some extra cash.
585
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:20,300
And, uh, now that Ron's
got inflation under control
586
00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:21,800
and our dollars are worth more,
587
00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:23,430
we thought we'd
stimulate the economy
588
00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:26,130
by buying an expensive,
American product.
589
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,400
However, we ran, uh,
a little short
590
00:21:28,430 --> 00:21:30,030
in the liquid-assets department.
591
00:21:30,060 --> 00:21:33,800
What he means is mommy
put up the rest of the money.
592
00:21:33,830 --> 00:21:35,400
Well, that's another way
of saying it.
593
00:21:35,430 --> 00:21:37,230
Merry Christmas, dad.
594
00:21:41,530 --> 00:21:43,030
Oh, hey!
595
00:21:43,060 --> 00:21:44,130
Oh, this is great!
596
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,660
It's that new camera!
597
00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:47,500
Oh, this is really fantastic!
598
00:21:47,530 --> 00:21:49,860
Oh, ho, thanks everybody!
599
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:51,860
It's all loaded
and ready to go, too.
600
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:53,660
Yeah! I am so glad
it snowed so hard.
601
00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:54,930
I've... I've had
such a good time
602
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,460
looking at these
old photographs.
603
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:57,940
Yeah, remembering
all the glory years
604
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:59,230
when I was still an only child.
605
00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:03,000
Do you still see Crazy Larry?
606
00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:04,900
Yeah, we visit him on weekends.
607
00:22:06,030 --> 00:22:07,830
You know, this could
turn out to be
608
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,100
the best Christmas ever.
609
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,400
You're right, dad.
610
00:22:12,430 --> 00:22:15,060
And it's a really special night.
611
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:17,930
Christmas is a time
for sharing those moments
612
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,900
that are more precious
than any material gift.
613
00:22:21,930 --> 00:22:24,600
It's a time
which renews our spirits
614
00:22:24,630 --> 00:22:27,860
and makes us aware
of the beauty that surrounds us
615
00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:31,030
and of the beauty within us.
616
00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:36,130
Jennifer, that's really lovely.
617
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:37,800
Yeah, but it's more effective
618
00:22:37,830 --> 00:22:38,900
with the wings.
619
00:22:38,930 --> 00:22:40,630
Wings?
620
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,260
It's from a part
in my school play.
621
00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:44,300
Remember?
I was a Christmas angel.
622
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:45,730
Oh!
623
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,930
You played an angel?
624
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,630
It was either that
or stick a tree branch
625
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:50,530
on my head and be a reindeer.
626
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:51,530
Okay.
627
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,060
Everybody in front of the tree.
628
00:22:53,100 --> 00:22:54,930
I'm gonna take
a Christmas portrait.
629
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:55,960
Oh, good idea! Oh!
630
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,300
I got a timer on this thing.
631
00:22:57,330 --> 00:22:58,460
Okay.
632
00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:00,200
Oh, great. Oh, get down.
633
00:23:00,230 --> 00:23:01,200
Get in place.
634
00:23:01,230 --> 00:23:02,600
Oh, everybody looks great.
635
00:23:02,630 --> 00:23:03,630
You all set? Get down.
636
00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:04,700
All right, now,
637
00:23:04,730 --> 00:23:06,100
leave room for me
right there. Okay.
638
00:23:06,130 --> 00:23:07,100
Okay. Great.
639
00:23:07,130 --> 00:23:08,130
Okay. Come on, dad.
640
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,130
All right, I'm here.
641
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,230
Good. Smile. Okay.
642
00:23:10,260 --> 00:23:11,960
What's happening?
643
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,030
Be just a second.
644
00:23:15,030 --> 00:23:17,000
Oh! Can't win!
645
00:23:17,030 --> 00:23:18,700
One more chance. Come on.
646
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:19,930
Okay, dad. I can get it.
647
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,330
All right.
648
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:23,630
One more time.
649
00:23:23,660 --> 00:23:25,730
Let's give it a little
more time okay.
650
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,360
Okay? All right.
651
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,160
Everybody say,
"merry Christmas."
652
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,300
All: Merry Christmas!
|
1
00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:55,900
СЕМЕЙНЫЕ УЗЫ
2
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:06,360
1 сезон 11 серия
«Рождественская история»
3
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,510
Элиза, зачем нам столько вещей?
4
00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:11,650
Чемоданов не должно быть
больше, чем членов семьи.
5
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,250
Не хочу тебя огорчать, но это
только вещи Мэллори.
6
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,760
Наши – ещё на верху.
7
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,680
Ну всё, мы готовы.
8
00:01:19,710 --> 00:01:21,510
Покорим эти горы!
9
00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:23,510
Мэллори, где твои лыжи?
10
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,050
Зачем мне брать лыжи?
11
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,950
Мы едем на них кататься.
12
00:01:26,980 --> 00:01:31,450
Это всё снаружи, мам.
Внутри гораздо лучше.
13
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:35,480
Вечеринки и парни...
Игры и парни.
14
00:01:35,510 --> 00:01:37,550
Я возьму твои лыжи.
15
00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:39,680
Покатаемся вместе, Алекс?
16
00:01:39,710 --> 00:01:43,950
Ни за что, Дженнифер. Мне хватило
нашего прошлогоднего катания.
17
00:01:43,980 --> 00:01:47,750
В этот раз будет склон
для новичков. Обещаю.
18
00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:49,210
В тот год ты так же говорила.
19
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,910
Но как только мы поднялись, ты
столкнула меня в Мёртвое ущелье.
20
00:01:52,950 --> 00:01:54,680
Зачем нужна такая сложность?
21
00:01:54,710 --> 00:01:57,160
Так интересней.
22
00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:59,160
Так, я их нашёл!
23
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,570
Все берём по паре
чемоданов и вперёд!
24
00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:07,180
На улице немного снежно.
25
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,960
- И что же нам делать?
- Попробуем взять штурмом.
26
00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:13,410
Приготовились. Укутались.
Вперёд!
27
00:02:15,770 --> 00:02:17,580
Пошли!
28
00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:25,380
Пришли!
29
00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:36,380
Может, поедем на отдых
в День независимости?
30
00:02:36,410 --> 00:02:40,100
Буря когда-нибудь закончится.
А пока, мы побудем дома.
31
00:02:40,130 --> 00:02:41,100
Дома?
32
00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:42,100
На Рождество?
33
00:02:42,130 --> 00:02:46,860
Будет весело.
Дома, всей семьёй у огня.
34
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,400
Мы что, праздничная открытка?
35
00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:49,760
А я только за.
36
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,130
Можно открыть пару
подарков пораньше.
37
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,260
А вот это уже по мне.
38
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,660
Ну не знаю,
лично я – против.
39
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:02,660
По традиции нужно дождаться
рождественского утра.
40
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,060
А этот мой?
41
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:08,230
Держи свои руки подальше!
Это мой подарок маме.
42
00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:11,860
Стивен, открой мой
подарок первым.
43
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,060
Вообще-то, он для всей семьи.
44
00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:15,830
О, нет.
45
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:21,400
Очередной семейный подарок.
Снова уплотнитель мусора?
46
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,260
Фотоальбом!
47
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:29,100
Я так понимаю, что он идёт
вместе с новой фотокамерой?
48
00:03:29,130 --> 00:03:30,900
Нет, камеры нет.
49
00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:34,500
О, альбом и без камеры?
50
00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:36,300
Ну да, разве забыл?
51
00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:39,200
Мы же договаривались
не тратиться в этом году,
52
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,760
а делать подарки от души.
53
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,860
Да, конечно.
Но я думал, мы не серьёзно.
54
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:45,900
Открывай уже альбом.
55
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:49,760
О, фото времён Корпуса мира!
56
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,230
Лучше бы уж уплотнитель мусора.
57
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:55,300
- А это ты когда сняла?
- Это сюрприз.
58
00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:59,060
Я собрала все фотографии
с момента нашего знакомства.
59
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:02,340
Спасибо, дорогая.
Это очень мило!
60
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,360
Смотрите, а здесь Алекс
совсем ещё кроха.
61
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:06,860
Что это за шнурок на нём?
62
00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:08,560
Это бусы.
63
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:13,230
Алекс в бусах?
Сделайте мне копию.
64
00:04:13,260 --> 00:04:17,560
Знаете, я не выбирал
рождаться в Африке.
65
00:04:23,050 --> 00:04:25,060
«Африка, 1965 год»
66
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,990
О, ноги отваливаются.
67
00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:30,430
И у меня.
68
00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:36,830
Ой, извини.
Как ты?
69
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:40,150
Мне кажется или тут пекло?
70
00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:45,410
Плюс 43.
Тебе кажется.
71
00:04:45,450 --> 00:04:49,180
Ты слышал погоду на завтра?
72
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:52,680
Да, Элиза.
Обещают похолодание.
73
00:04:52,710 --> 00:05:00,050
Столбик опустится до плюс сорока.
И влажность воздуха около ноля.
74
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,410
Это ведь рекордная
засуха в этом году?
75
00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:08,410
Нет, в том году была дольше.
По сути, она ещё продолжается.
76
00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:10,400
Извини, что заговорила об этом.
77
00:05:10,430 --> 00:05:13,180
От разговоров о жаре
становится ещё жарче.
78
00:05:13,210 --> 00:05:15,810
Ты права.
Больше ни слова о жаре.
79
00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:20,350
Жарковато сегодня?
80
00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:21,510
Макс.
81
00:05:21,550 --> 00:05:25,410
Извини, Элиза.
Жара сводит меня с ума.
82
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,080
И не только меня.
83
00:05:27,110 --> 00:05:30,160
Видел тут верблюда в очереди
за билетом на самолёт.
84
00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:32,590
Послушай, Макс.
Всё не так плохо.
85
00:05:32,590 --> 00:05:36,580
Не забывай, завтра местные
устраивают танец дождя.
86
00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:39,360
Как раз кстати,
хоть машину помою.
87
00:05:39,650 --> 00:05:43,580
Слушайте, нельзя позволять
им устраивать эти пляски.
88
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,610
Почему? Звучит интригующе.
89
00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,650
Нет, это глупо.
90
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,510
Я, как и все, хочу, чтобы
эта засуха закончилась,
91
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,350
но нельзя позволять людям
92
00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:58,310
собираться вместе и устраивать
балаган из суеверий и страхов.
93
00:05:58,350 --> 00:05:59,350
Почему?
94
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,780
Это меня пугает.
95
00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:07,350
Не стоит осуждать их стиль жизни.
Они живут в гармонии с природой.
96
00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:11,650
У них есть сакральная связь
с землёй, этого ты не отнимешь.
97
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:17,280
Нельзя им просто дать взамен
будильник или гриль.
98
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:21,910
Можно дать им пару фонариков.
Некоторые от них просто тащатся.
99
00:06:21,950 --> 00:06:24,750
Макс, можно задать личный вопрос?
100
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,050
Да, валяй.
101
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:30,210
Зачем ты поехал
добровольцем в Африку?
102
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:33,680
Меня послали, сам я хотел
в Майами Бич.
103
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:36,080
Зачем ты вообще вступил
в Корпус мира?
104
00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:40,380
О, я думаю всё
из-за той речи Кеннеди.
105
00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:42,480
Она вдохновила меня.
106
00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:46,950
Заставила задуматься не о том,
чем моя страна обязана мне,
107
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:54,230
но скорее о том, что моя страна...
сделала или сделает.
108
00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:57,310
То есть, я для неё сделаю.
Ну вы знаете.
109
00:06:58,650 --> 00:07:00,750
Сложно всё упомнить.
110
00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:03,450
Мне послышалось,
или это началось?
111
00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:05,280
Будем считать, что "да".
112
00:07:05,310 --> 00:07:08,310
Макс, сходи за доктором Илиасом.
113
00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:10,650
Держись, дорогая.
Я сейчас.
114
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:14,440
Я вспомнил:
"...чем <i>я</i> обязан моей
стране".
115
00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:15,480
Макс!
116
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,780
Как ты?
117
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:20,620
Просто небольшой мандраж.
118
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:25,410
Так, хорошо. Расслабься.
Попробуй забыть об этом.
119
00:07:25,450 --> 00:07:27,200
А, хорошо.
120
00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:30,180
Так, какие ты книги
недавно читала?
121
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,580
Забудь про книги.
Какие фильмы смотрела?
122
00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:36,080
Мы не были в кино уже 10 месяцев.
123
00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:37,610
Элиза...
124
00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:40,810
Ты понимаешь, что происходит?
У нас будет ребёнок.
125
00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:41,810
Я в курсе.
126
00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:43,080
Это словно сон.
127
00:07:43,110 --> 00:07:45,280
Можешь просыпаться.
128
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:52,180
Элиза! Дождь!
Иди посмотри!
129
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,450
Я занята тут немного!
130
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,080
Это чудо!
131
00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:01,680
Дай я прижмусь к тебе.
132
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:09,880
Мы станем мамой, Элиза.
Ну не оба, конечно.
133
00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:14,080
Один из нас станет мамой.
А другой – станет папой.
134
00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:16,150
Я стану мамой, ладно?
135
00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:17,450
Хорошо.
136
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,580
И мой ребёнок
не услышит от меня:
137
00:08:19,610 --> 00:08:21,380
Делай то! Не делай это!
138
00:08:21,410 --> 00:08:25,240
Ешь свою фасоль!
И мою тоже!
139
00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:29,850
И мы будем растить его или её
как независимого индивидуума,
140
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,750
уникальную личность,
одну на миллион...
141
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:34,380
- Стивен!
- Что?
142
00:08:34,410 --> 00:08:36,810
Умолкни уже!
143
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,880
Какая ты красивая.
144
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,550
И ты тоже.
145
00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:43,390
Вот это день!
146
00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:47,330
Нужно запомнить всё
до последней мелочи.
147
00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:49,980
Такое сложно будет забыть.
148
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:55,100
И что было дальше?
149
00:08:56,150 --> 00:08:58,480
- Я что-то забыл, а ты, Элиза?
- И я.
150
00:08:58,510 --> 00:09:02,350
Конечно, я помню. Пришёл
доктор Илиас и родился Алекс.
151
00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:06,170
Ты наделал много шума,
но очень понравился всем.
152
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:08,380
Из-за жары, наверное.
153
00:09:08,410 --> 00:09:10,250
А что стало с Максом?
154
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,510
Он живёт в Майами Бич,
155
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:14,350
держит лавку
"Кошерные продукты из Африки".
156
00:09:14,380 --> 00:09:17,750
Которая не работает по субботам
и дням нигерийских праздников.
157
00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:20,850
Я так рада, что родилась
здесь, в Штатах,
158
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:24,780
а не в какой-нибудь дыре, где никогда
не слышали о тотальной распродаже.
159
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:27,350
Да, но и при твоём рождении
не обошлось без приключений.
160
00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:30,450
А вот и ты.
161
00:09:32,810 --> 00:09:34,880
«Калифорния, 1967 год»
162
00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:37,370
Что ж, миссис Китон,
вы определённо рожаете.
163
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:39,840
И вам повезло, я глава
родильного отделения.
164
00:09:41,110 --> 00:09:44,460
Какое совпадение.
Шутка!
165
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,560
Я понимаю, мне сейчас
не до смеха.
166
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,500
Я не обиделся.
167
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,660
А вы?
168
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:52,830
Я тоже.
169
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:56,560
Сестра, пригласите
мистера Китона.
170
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,830
Процесс родов только начался.
Это займёт много времени.
171
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,000
Сколько думаете?
172
00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:03,130
Вам лучше знать.
173
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,360
Вы же тут врач.
174
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,100
Всё в прядке, доктор?
175
00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:10,900
Я растянул мышцу на ноге,
а так – всё хорошо.
176
00:10:13,350 --> 00:10:18,210
Теперь я понял, почему вы вместе.
Как вы вообще развлекаетесь?
177
00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:22,680
А, понятно, как.
Давайте начнём сначала.
178
00:10:22,710 --> 00:10:24,380
- Я доктор Ваксман.
- Стивен Китон.
179
00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:26,710
Рад знакомству,
ваша жена хорошо держится.
180
00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:28,910
- Отлично.
- Минутку.
181
00:10:28,950 --> 00:10:30,380
Погоди.
182
00:10:30,410 --> 00:10:34,280
Стиви Китон?
Лагерь Айвенго, так?
183
00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:35,750
Допустим.
184
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:38,750
Ты что, забыл меня?
Ларри Ваксман.
185
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,810
Ларри Ваксман?
186
00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:43,040
Бешеный Ларри Ваксман!
187
00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:45,710
Выглядишь молодцом.
188
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:46,850
Слушай, Ларри.
189
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:51,510
Ты не забыл!
190
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:54,880
У меня будет принимать роды
какой-то Бешеный Ларри.
191
00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:56,980
Эй, Стиви, гимн лагеря. Готов?
192
00:10:57,010 --> 00:10:58,350
Готов!
193
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:02,010
За горами, за лесами лагерь наш.
194
00:11:02,030 --> 00:11:03,130
Айвенго!
195
00:11:03,150 --> 00:11:05,650
Настоящий и реальный, не мираж.
196
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:06,750
Айвенго!
197
00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:08,380
Будем печь в костре картошку,
198
00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:10,050
Собирать грибы в лукошко,
199
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,850
И кататься на байдаках в Айвенго.
200
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,950
Айвенго!
201
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:20,310
Ребята! Ребята!
202
00:11:20,350 --> 00:11:22,980
Сойдите на землю.
Я тут рожаю, не забыли?
203
00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:25,050
Извини, Элиза.
204
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,350
Простите. Не часто мне
доводится петь эту песню.
205
00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:31,480
Пойте что хотите, но завтра.
Хоть на плёнку запишите.
206
00:11:31,510 --> 00:11:33,450
А может правда? Нет.
207
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,740
Стив, не волнуйся.
Роды это не сложно.
208
00:11:36,770 --> 00:11:39,520
Тебе не о чем беспокоиться.
Это пустяк...
209
00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:42,480
Стандартная процедура.
Всё будет хорошо.
210
00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:44,420
Знаю. Это вторые роды для меня.
211
00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:46,080
Да? А для меня – первые.
212
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,860
Попался!
213
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,650
Я тоже тут, и <i>я</i> собираюсь рожать.
214
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,750
Да, верно.
Всё будет хорошо.
215
00:11:56,780 --> 00:11:58,360
Как ты, дорогая?
216
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,080
Я в порядке.
Но как же тест?
217
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:02,950
Вам не нужен тест.
Вы беременны – это точно.
218
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:06,750
У Стивена тест по политологии
через 20 минут.
219
00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:07,950
Заколю.
220
00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:10,050
- Нельзя.
- Я не могу уйти.
221
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:13,370
Стив, это долго продлится.
Несколько часов.
222
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,750
А может, до завтра.
223
00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:17,810
Ты должен пойти.
Со мной всё будет хорошо.
224
00:12:17,850 --> 00:12:19,380
Ты уверена?
225
00:12:19,410 --> 00:12:24,410
Стив, иди с чистой совестью.
Айвенговцы не закалывают тесты.
226
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:28,660
- Ты точно в порядке?
- Конечно, милый.
227
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:31,250
Я мигом – туда и обратно.
228
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,600
А помнишь нам
показывали "Психо"?
229
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:36,950
Конечно. После него я
и решил стать врачом.
230
00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:40,380
Будем печь в костре картошку,
Собирать грибы...
231
00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:45,850
Стивен!
232
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,610
Сестра!
233
00:12:47,650 --> 00:12:49,680
Бешеный Ларри!
234
00:12:53,410 --> 00:12:56,750
Мои роды принимал
Бешеный Ларри?
235
00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:58,610
Это многое объясняет.
236
00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:01,660
Мам, а доктор Бешеный
услышал тебя?
237
00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:04,850
Да, и, как ни странно, он оказался
очень хорошим врачом.
238
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,500
Пап, а как ты сдал тест
по политологии?
239
00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:11,540
Не очень. На вопрос
о президентах США я ответил:
240
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:14,900
"Мэллори, если девочка
Линкольн, если мальчик".
241
00:13:14,930 --> 00:13:17,460
Меня отправили на пересдачу.
242
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:20,500
На улице всё хуже и хуже.
243
00:13:20,530 --> 00:13:22,930
Отлично, теперь мы
застряли тут вместе.
244
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,230
Застряли – это неверное
определение, Алекс.
245
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,730
Ладно, зависли.
246
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,660
Да там только пару снежинок.
Можно попробовать.
247
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:33,060
Отсюда даже машины
не разглядеть.
248
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:37,660
Пап, ты не понимаешь.
Меня ждёт там Донни Хейз.
249
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:39,200
Он уехал туда вчера.
250
00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:41,960
Мэллори, ты предлагаешь
всем нам рискнуть жизнью,
251
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,030
чтобы ты увиделась
с Донни Хейзом?
252
00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:45,400
Нет.
253
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:47,260
Алекс мог бы меня отвезти.
254
00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:51,960
Раз уж мы пробудем тут весь вечер,
давайте откроем ещё пару подарков.
255
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,660
Давайте.
256
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,730
С Рождеством, Мэллори.
257
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,500
Спасибо, Дженнифер.
258
00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:03,600
Что там?
259
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:09,860
О, это... здорово.
260
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:14,600
Очень мило...
261
00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:16,600
Шерсть...
262
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:19,290
Подарок на все случаи жизни.
263
00:14:19,340 --> 00:14:22,130
Это шапка.
Я сама связала.
264
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,090
Серьёзно?
265
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,660
Это здорово.
Жаль, это не мой подарок.
266
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:28,700
У тебя такой же.
267
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,330
Я передумал.
Она прикольная.
268
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:40,330
Она очень красивая,
Дженнифер. Спасибо.
269
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,630
А сейчас время моих подарков.
270
00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:45,440
Это тебе, Элиза.
271
00:14:45,730 --> 00:14:48,430
- Мне? Не стоило.
- Вернуть в магазин?
272
00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:49,700
Даже не думай.
273
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,530
Флейта! О, Стивен!
274
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,030
Я сам её сделал.
275
00:14:58,060 --> 00:15:00,230
Как мило!
276
00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:02,360
Мам, я не знала, что ты
играешь на флейте?
277
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,530
Всегда хотела научиться.
278
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,960
Тут разве не должны быть дырки?
279
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,060
Я поздно начал,
доделаю на следующий год.
280
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:14,440
Спасибо, дорогой.
281
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,430
Опять 25!
282
00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:18,760
Это ещё цветочки.
283
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,260
Через пару минут они
окажутся на столе.
284
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:25,660
Может, лучше расскажете, как
Дженнифер появилась на свет?
285
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:27,130
Ты правда хочешь послушать?
286
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:31,480
Нет, но только так вы
перестанете целоваться.
287
00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:39,470
«Огайо, 1972 год»
288
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,060
А это интересно.
289
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:43,400
Рождение ребёнка
делится на 4 стадии:
290
00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:46,300
сужение, раскрытие,
переход и извлечение.
291
00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:49,450
Эти стадии сопровождаются
сокращением мышц,
292
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,260
называемыми схватками.
293
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:52,530
Элиза, на какой ты стадии?
294
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,130
На болевой, Стивен.
295
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:58,330
Мы только на странице 114.
Боли не должно быть до 156-ой.
296
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,660
Перелистывай на 156-ую.
297
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:03,030
Э-э... Боль... Боль...
298
00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:05,030
Тут нет "боли",
есть только "дискомфорт".
299
00:16:05,060 --> 00:16:06,500
Допиши.
300
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:09,460
Обычно люди так
не заморачиваются.
301
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:13,530
Но всё началось раньше.
Срок только... через месяц.
302
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:17,100
Мы собирались на голосование,
когда начались схватки.
303
00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:19,660
Очень жаль, что мы
не проголосовали.
304
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:22,060
Согласен, борьба будет
очень плотной.
305
00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:24,600
Наш голос мог бы помочь
победить Макговерну.
306
00:16:24,630 --> 00:16:26,560
Вы не знаете
предварительных итогов?
307
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,230
Я только что с победной
вечеринки Никсона.
308
00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:31,130
Это вам говорит о чём-то?
309
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,860
Это ещё рано утверждать.
310
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:37,600
Не проголосовал только 1%,
Макговерн уступает по всем округам.
311
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,700
1%? Сколько это людей?
312
00:16:39,730 --> 00:16:42,160
Население маленького городка.
313
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,500
Может, отвезти её в родовую?
314
00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:48,860
Родовая скоро освободится.
Сегодня большой наплыв.
315
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,600
О, простите.
Нам зайти через недельку?
316
00:16:51,630 --> 00:16:54,630
Сарказм здесь не поможет.
317
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:57,830
А теперь заполним бумаги.
Имя?
318
00:16:57,860 --> 00:17:00,300
Дженнифер – если девочка,
Дэвид – если мальчик.
319
00:17:00,330 --> 00:17:02,660
Мне не нужно имя ребёнка.
320
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,100
Простите. Стивен Китон.
321
00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:07,500
И ваше – мне ни к чему.
Имя роженицы.
322
00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:08,630
Элиза Китон.
323
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,400
Спасибо.
324
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,700
Терпеть этого парня ещё 4 года?
325
00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:15,960
Папа, ты уже слышал новости?
326
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,360
Да, Алекс. Мы в курсе.
Мы очень рады за тебя.
327
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,830
Мои труды не прошли даром.
328
00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:27,160
Да, то письмо, что ты отправил,
сыграло важную роль.
329
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,260
Сэр, ваши дети должны быть
в комнате ожидания.
330
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,360
Она не просто так называется.
331
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,720
Да, там они и были.
Дети, подождите нас там.
332
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,400
Как ты, мамочка?
333
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:41,400
Отлично, милая.
334
00:17:41,430 --> 00:17:45,020
А почему у соседской собаки
было целых 8 щенков,
335
00:17:45,050 --> 00:17:47,360
а у тебя будет только
один ребёнок?
336
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,040
У людей всё немного по-другому.
337
00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:52,260
Поэтому ты рожаешь не в гараже?
338
00:17:56,100 --> 00:18:00,100
Она готова.
Пойду проверю родовую.
339
00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:02,200
- Здравствуйте, доктор Роджерс.
- Стивен.
340
00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:03,830
Элиза, как у нас дела?
341
00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:05,100
Класс!
342
00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:06,900
А это наши дети,
Алекс и Мэллори.
343
00:18:06,930 --> 00:18:07,930
Привет, ребята.
344
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,300
Здрасьте.
345
00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:12,600
Рождение – это чудесное
событие, согласны?
346
00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:14,230
Волшебство матушки природы.
347
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,050
У вас наверняка есть
куча вопросов?
348
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:17,060
Да.
349
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:19,850
Сколько вы получаете в год?
350
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:22,860
Алекс, ты собирался уходить.
351
00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:24,250
Точно.
352
00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:30,460
Да и, Алекс, присмотри за Мэллори.
Мы с мамой скоро вернёмся,
353
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:35,480
и принесём вам маленького
братика или сестричку.
354
00:18:35,510 --> 00:18:37,450
Надеюсь, будет братик.
355
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,050
Лучше бы мы завели собаку.
356
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,910
Новый срок! Новый срок!
357
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:47,050
Не волнуйся, Элиза.
Сейчас тебя перевезут.
358
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,750
Как дела?
359
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:52,880
Всё началось часа два назад.
Мы были на кухне...
360
00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:56,310
То есть я с детьми,
а Элиза была наверху.
361
00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:59,010
Мы этого не ожидали.
362
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:02,950
Нет, ребёнка мы ждали,
но не сегодня.
363
00:19:02,980 --> 00:19:04,350
Мы не смогли проголосовать.
364
00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:06,080
Выборы закончились, Стивен!
365
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:09,480
А это уже раздражительность.
Всё по книге.
366
00:19:09,510 --> 00:19:11,210
Что там пишут?
367
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:14,380
Нужно попробовать особую
технику дыхания. Вот так.
368
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:20,250
В ритме четыре четверти
на мелодию Янки-дудл.
369
00:19:22,150 --> 00:19:24,950
Правда, так написано.
Вот, сама посмотри.
370
00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:27,210
Ладно, давай попробуем.
371
00:19:28,410 --> 00:19:31,320
Четвертая родовая
освободилась.
372
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,200
Поехали.
373
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,880
Ты молодец, Элиза.
374
00:19:38,910 --> 00:19:43,050
А теперь, при следующей схватке,
совсем не надо тужиться.
375
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,750
Здесь сказано, что для этого
нужно расслабиться
376
00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:47,680
и максимально выдохнуть.
377
00:19:47,710 --> 00:19:49,410
Это звучит не сложно.
378
00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:51,880
Может, сами тогда попробуете?
379
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:57,480
Спокойно.
380
00:19:58,550 --> 00:20:00,250
Так.
381
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,250
Спокойно.
382
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:05,250
О, замечательно.
Ты просто умница.
383
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:06,610
И ты хорошо справляешься.
384
00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:08,380
Спасибо, тут ничего сложного.
385
00:20:08,410 --> 00:20:10,460
Может, поцелуемся?
386
00:20:12,050 --> 00:20:15,610
Вот это поцелуй!
А теперь тужься!
387
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,310
Я вижу головку.
388
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:22,780
Мальчик или девочка?
389
00:20:22,810 --> 00:20:26,350
По голове это
сложно определить.
390
00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:28,850
Тужься.
391
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,410
Ещё.
392
00:20:30,450 --> 00:20:33,410
Вот так!
393
00:20:33,450 --> 00:20:36,780
И у вас... девочка.
394
00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:38,350
Слава Богу!
395
00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:43,530
И после ты открыла свой
ротик и закричала.
396
00:20:43,650 --> 00:20:45,780
И с тех пор ты не умолкаешь.
397
00:20:45,810 --> 00:20:48,580
Я благодарна вашему папе,
что он был со мной тогда.
398
00:20:48,610 --> 00:20:50,410
Он мне очень помог.
399
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:56,580
Ясно, Алекс хотел Никсона,
Мэллори – щенка. А ты, пап, кого?
400
00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:58,110
Я?
401
00:20:58,150 --> 00:21:01,950
Я хотел одного –
здорового, красивого ребёнка.
402
00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:03,150
И я это получил.
403
00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:06,380
Трижды.
Я просто счастливчик.
404
00:21:06,410 --> 00:21:10,350
Что сказать? Когда нет родителей,
вы ничего так.
405
00:21:10,380 --> 00:21:11,480
Спасибо!
406
00:21:11,510 --> 00:21:14,750
А это наш общий подарок.
Не думали, что подарим, но...
407
00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:17,510
Но мы подзаработали
деньжат на досуге.
408
00:21:17,550 --> 00:21:20,350
И раз уж правительство
сдерживает инфляцию
409
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,480
и курс доллара растёт,
мы поддержали экономику
410
00:21:23,510 --> 00:21:26,180
покупкой дорогих
американских товаров.
411
00:21:26,210 --> 00:21:30,080
И ещё мы взяли небольшую
ссуду в Главном казначействе.
412
00:21:30,110 --> 00:21:33,850
Другими словами,
мама добавила остальное.
413
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,280
Ну, можно и так сказать.
С Рождеством, пап.
414
00:21:41,580 --> 00:21:43,080
Ого!
415
00:21:43,110 --> 00:21:45,710
Ничего себе!
Новая камера!
416
00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:49,910
Это потрясающе!
Спасибо вам всем!
417
00:21:49,950 --> 00:21:51,910
Она готова, можно снимать.
418
00:21:51,950 --> 00:21:56,510
А я рада сегодняшней буре.
Мы так хорошо посидели.
419
00:21:56,550 --> 00:22:00,330
Вспомнили золотое время, когда
я был единственным ребёнком.
420
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,050
Вы видитесь с Бешеным Ларри?
421
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,560
Иногда, по праздникам.
422
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:10,210
А знаете, пожалуй,
<i>это</i> Рождество – лучшее.
423
00:22:10,610 --> 00:22:15,050
Точно, пап.
Это особенный вечер.
424
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:19,570
Ведь радостные моменты жизни,
проведённые с близкими,
425
00:22:19,570 --> 00:22:21,940
дороже любых подарков.
426
00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:24,650
Рождество обновляет наш дух
427
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:31,080
и показывает красоту мира
вокруг нас, и мира... внутри нас.
428
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,180
Дженнифер, это
замечательные слова.
429
00:22:36,210 --> 00:22:38,950
Да, но с крыльями
смотрится эффектнее.
430
00:22:38,980 --> 00:22:40,680
С крыльями?
431
00:22:40,710 --> 00:22:45,670
Это из школьной пьесы.
Забыли? Я была Ангелом.
432
00:22:45,810 --> 00:22:46,980
Ты была Ангелом?
433
00:22:47,010 --> 00:22:51,480
Лучше уж это, чем махать
ветками или быть оленем.
434
00:22:51,610 --> 00:22:54,980
Ладно, соберитесь у ёлки,
сделаем рождественское фото.
435
00:22:55,010 --> 00:22:56,010
О, точно!
436
00:22:56,050 --> 00:23:01,250
Выставлю таймер. Так.
Пониже. Займите места.
437
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,680
Так, замечательно. Готовы?
438
00:23:03,710 --> 00:23:07,150
Оставьте место и мне.
Отлично.
439
00:23:07,180 --> 00:23:08,180
Садись, пап.
440
00:23:08,210 --> 00:23:10,280
Готово. Улыбочку.
441
00:23:10,310 --> 00:23:12,010
Что такое?
442
00:23:12,050 --> 00:23:14,080
Уже сейчас.
443
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,800
Ещё разок.
Так, приготовились.
444
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,340
- Быстрей, быстрей.
- Иду.
445
00:23:25,380 --> 00:23:27,410
Отлично.
446
00:23:27,450 --> 00:23:29,210
Все говорим:
"С Рождеством!"
447
00:23:29,250 --> 00:23:32,230
С Рождеством!
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