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FAMILY TIES
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Season 6 Episode 2
"Dear Mallory"
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<i>? I bet we've been together
for a million years ?</i>
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<i>? And I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ?</i>
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<i>? Oh, it's like
I started breathing ?</i>
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<i>? On the night we kissed ?</i>
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<i>? And I can't remember
what I ever did before ?</i>
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<i>? What would we do, baby ?</i>
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<i>? Without us? ?</i>
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<i>? What would we do, baby ?</i>
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<i>? Without us? ?</i>
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<i>? And there ain't no nothin' ?</i>
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<i>? We can't love
each other through ?</i>
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<i>? Ooh-hoo ?</i>
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<i>? What would we do, baby ?</i>
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<i>? Without us? ?</i>
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<i>? Sha-la-la-la. ?</i>
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Uh-uh, Andy, that is
the last piece of cake.
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I get half of that.
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Have an apple,
it's better for you.
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Thanks for caring, Andrew,
but I think I'll cut it in half.
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- Oh, that's not half.
- Yes, it is.
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You think that 'cause I'm small,
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I can't see straight.
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- Andy, we can share.
- No!
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- I'll cut it in half...
- I'm telling Mom!
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Oh, hey, wait, wait, wait.
This is embarrassing.
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You guys fighting
over a piece of cake?
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What difference does
it make if one piece
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is slightly bigger
than the other?
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None...
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00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,880
so long as I get it.
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Mom, Dad, I got it.
I got it!
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I've been chosen to take over
the personal advice column
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for the <i>Columbus</i>
<i>Shopper"s Guide.</i>
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- I'm going to be "Dear Mallory."
- Oh, honey.
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- That's great!
- They picked me
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over a hundred other applicants.
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They said my sample answers were
warm, compelling, yet practical.
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Uh-huh.
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Great, Mal. Well, maybe
you can help us over here.
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We're trying to decide
on how to share this cake.
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- Hey, I get a piece of that...
- Mom!
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Oh, wait! Wait, wait!
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You've come to me
with a problem.
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You've come to "Dear Mallory,"
and I won't let you down.
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Sit, sit.
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Okay, okay, how's this?
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Jen, you cut the cake.
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Andy, you get to pick
which piece you want.
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That way, Jen will cut it fair.
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That's absolutely brilliant.
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Warm, compelling, yet practical?
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You know, Steven, maybe we could
use that approach ourselves.
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I could cut and you could pick?
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Well, dear, we've done so well
for the last 20 years
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with me cutting and picking.
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Although it's a great idea, Mal.
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I am a natural at this.
I better get started.
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Look at all these letters
I have already.
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- Oh...
- Oh, you can't actually look,
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Dad, they're confidential.
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Oh, let me look.
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Well, I guess you're family
and all, so...
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"Dear Mallory,
I need your advice.
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"My partner doesn't
satisfy me sexually,
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- and I was wondering..."
- Oh, Dad...
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My advice is that
you don't read that.
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Very wise, "Dear Mallory."
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Alex, Alex, guess what?
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I'm "Dear Mallory"!
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Yeah, and I'm "Adorable Alex."
So what?
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Ha, ha.
No, you don't understand.
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I'm taking over
the personal advice column
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for the <i>Columbus</i>
<i>Shopper"s Guide.</i>
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The column is called
"Dear Mallory."
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Now, wait, wait, wait.
<i>Columbus Shopper"s Guide...</i>
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Isn't that that freebie giveaway
thing they have
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at the checkout counter
at the supermarkets?
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Uh, the one with all
the coupons in it?
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That's right.
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What are you
so excited about, Mal?
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You're gonna be...
you're gonna be giving advice
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to lowlife bargain hunters
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who can't afford
to buy a real paper.
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Alex!
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They're not lowlife
bargain hunters.
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They're people, real people
coming to me for advice.
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Mal, if these people were
willing to shell out a quarter,
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they could turn to "Dear Abby."
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I can help him.
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And if either one of you...
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...need help, come to me.
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I'm going to be very busy...
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but I'll always
have time for you.
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You're family.
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Cut the cake.
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Got a problem, Mal?
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I don't have problems,
I solve problems.
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I'm "Dear Mallory."
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Is there anything
bothering you, Alex?
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Mm-hmm.
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"Dear Mallory."
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Come on, Alex, talk to me.
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Open up.
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I sense that beneath that preppy
little exterior, there's a mass
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of insecurities and frustration
waiting to pour out.
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Yeah, Mal, that's why I have
this exterior.
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To protect the rug.
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Come on, Alex, I need practice
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and everyone else
in the house is so sane.
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I'll be your best friend.
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Oh, that always
works with me, Mal.
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That's because you don't have
any friends, right?
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Mallory, why don't you read me
one of your letters?
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Okay.
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"Dear Mallory..."
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I love the way that sounds.
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"...I am an extremely pretty
19-year-old girl
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with a knockout body..."
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Go on. Please.
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"I have a real interest
in money,
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"and I'm searching
for a smart, cute,
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21-year-old boy
who likes money, too."
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We've got to help
these people, Mal.
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And in order to help them,
we need an address.
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Hasn't anybody started dinner?
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Oh, yeah, Ma, I started it.
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And then I decided against it.
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Alex, it is your turn
to start dinner tonight.
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Ma, how can you think of eating,
when there... when there's
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a young woman in peril
at 3214 Douglas Drive?
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Apartment 3C.
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Mom...
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Mom, maybe you can help me out.
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I need practice solving
people's problems
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before I publish
my first column.
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- And?
- Well, is there anything
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you'd like to talk about?
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Anything bothering you?
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Well, I'm hungry.
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Besides that, anything else?
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I'm thirsty, too.
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Dad, help me out.
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Any major problems in your life
you'd like to discuss?
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00:06:56,130 --> 00:07:00,230
Um... no, I got
in the door just fine.
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Come on, Dad, think hard.
Anything at work?
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- No.
- Physical problems?
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- Nope.
- Marital problems?
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- Well, sometimes your mother...
- Steven!
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Mallory, I've been going
through some of these letters,
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and most of them
seem pretty ordinary,
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but I think I found one
you can use in your column.
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Oh, great, great.
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Yeah, it's really very touching.
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"Dear Mallory..."
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"I'm 181/2 years old,
and for the first time
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"in my life, I have a boyfriend.
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"But last night,
a friend told me
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"that he's seeing
another girl, too.
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"I can't stop crying.
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What do I do?"
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Signed, First Love.
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Dad, it's just a letter.
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I'm, uh... I'm fine.
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I'm-I'm, I'm fine.
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Great choice, Jen.
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I'm gonna use this
in my first column.
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Her first love.
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Dad, be strong.
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00:07:58,420 --> 00:08:00,830
Oh, look, uh, why don't
we go in the kitchen
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and get dinner started,
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00:08:02,030 --> 00:08:03,500
and leave
the problem solving to them?
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I'm too upset to eat.
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Well, I'm not!
Move it.
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What are you
gonna tell her, Mal?
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I mean, I feel
kind of responsible.
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I found the letter and all.
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I don't know.
I don't know. Sit down.
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Something like this:
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00:08:19,910 --> 00:08:21,650
"Dear First Love,
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00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,450
"There are plenty
of fish in the sea.
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Looks like you may have
caught yourself a shark."
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00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,720
Ooh.
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00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:35,260
"So stop crying.
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00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:37,800
"First thing you've got to do
is find out if it's true.
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00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:40,170
"If he is seeing the other
woman, you've got no choice.
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00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,200
Cut him loose."
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00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,540
- That's good, Mally.
- Yeah?
190
00:08:43,570 --> 00:08:44,870
That's good, that's good.
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00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,440
I would add, um, uh,
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"And let him sink
into the slime."
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00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,510
But that's just me.
194
00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:58,220
That's a nice touch, Alex.
195
00:08:58,250 --> 00:08:59,490
What do you think
of my response?
196
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:00,790
I liked it,
197
00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:02,820
but don't you think
it's a little rough?
198
00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:04,490
Now, see, Jen, rough but fair.
199
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,590
You've got to give it
to these people straight,
200
00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:08,160
or nobody feels like
they're getting helped.
201
00:09:08,190 --> 00:09:09,530
I mean, how would you feel?
202
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,730
I don't know, I haven't
had my first love yet.
203
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,430
But when you do, you'll come
to me for advice, right?
204
00:09:18,670 --> 00:09:20,660
For sure.
205
00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:25,910
How's it going, Mom?
206
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,950
Well, I'm working
on the McPhillips house.
207
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:31,120
Still? I thought
you finished that.
208
00:09:31,150 --> 00:09:32,650
What's the problem?
209
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,120
Well, it's really a problem
of balancing the spatial
210
00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:36,420
and the structural logistics.
211
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,590
I mean...
212
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,060
Can we... do we just
sheer-wall the existing
213
00:09:40,090 --> 00:09:42,230
elements, or can we
support the weight
214
00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:43,730
of a cantilevered
terrace with...
215
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,530
with just poured
concrete grade beams?
216
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:47,800
I don't know.
217
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,830
Architecture got you down, Mom?
218
00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:59,050
Here's a suggestion
for a quick pick-me-up.
219
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,050
Go buy yourself a new dress.
220
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,850
Something splashy;
something pink.
221
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,840
Buy me one too.
222
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,030
Make you feel better.
223
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:14,530
Always worked
for Frank Lloyd Wright.
224
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:16,600
- You see?
- Mm.
225
00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:18,600
How's "Dear Mallory"
coming along?
226
00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:20,800
Great. I've got Andy
helping out now.
227
00:10:20,830 --> 00:10:22,240
Oh, that's cute.
228
00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:25,470
How do you spell "grow up"?
229
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,940
Uh, G-R-O-W U-P.
230
00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:31,550
How about "sink back
into the slime"?
231
00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:34,170
Ask Alex.
232
00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:38,590
I brought you a present:
The new issue
233
00:10:38,620 --> 00:10:40,020
of the <i>Shopper"s Guide,</i>
Mal!
234
00:10:40,050 --> 00:10:42,090
Yay! It's my first
"Dear Mallory!"
235
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,590
Where is it?
Where is it?
236
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:45,290
It's, uh, it's right here,
Mal, it's right here,
237
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,160
right between
"The Weekend Grease Monkey"
238
00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:49,700
and "Cora's Cut-Rate Corner."
239
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:51,600
Eh, uh, you know,
that "Weekend Grease Monkey"
240
00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:53,430
is a hell of a column.
241
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:55,800
No need to tell us, Nick.
It's our favorite, too.
242
00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:56,740
Yeah.
243
00:10:56,770 --> 00:10:58,440
Oh, look, there's my picture!
244
00:10:58,470 --> 00:11:01,380
Yeah, right between Cora
and the Monkey.
245
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:02,880
Let me read it. Here.
246
00:11:02,910 --> 00:11:06,380
"Dear First Love, there are
plenty of fish in the sea,
247
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:09,680
and it looks like that you may
have caught a... a shark."
248
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:12,520
Whew.
249
00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:14,690
Or what's this here?
250
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,060
Oh, uh, eh, uh,
that's your address
251
00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:19,190
and, uh, that's your phone
number, Mrs. Keaton.
252
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,960
You know, you should
really know that.
253
00:11:20,990 --> 00:11:23,950
I mean, in case you
get lost or something.
254
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,970
Mom, I put it in there.
255
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,870
If any of my readers
had questions...
256
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,410
you know, if anything
seemed unclear...
257
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,580
they could call or write me
directly here.
258
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:38,570
Well, that's something
Dear Abby's never done.
259
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:44,690
I am simply not into a cold,
aloof approach to advice-giving.
260
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,320
I am warm and accessible.
261
00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:48,120
People need me,
and I'm here for them.
262
00:11:48,150 --> 00:11:50,190
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can vouch for that.
263
00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:52,460
She's warm... and accessible...
264
00:11:52,490 --> 00:11:53,760
Nick!
265
00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:55,750
Please!
266
00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:03,500
Please, Nick, it's bad enough
our phone number's in the paper.
267
00:12:03,530 --> 00:12:05,570
Look,
268
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,310
what is to stop people
from coming up to our house
269
00:12:08,340 --> 00:12:10,410
and knocking on the door?
270
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,450
Very little, it seems.
271
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:14,450
Yeah.
272
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,150
Are you "Dear Mallory"?
273
00:12:16,180 --> 00:12:18,150
Well, I know
what your problem is, pal.
274
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:20,650
Slight gender confusion.
275
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,190
Well, that is on the list.
276
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,530
- That's "Dear Mallory"
right there. - Ah.
277
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:28,200
- I'm "Buffaloed Bill."
- Buffalo Bill.
278
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:31,200
<i>"Buff... Buffaloed</i> Bill."
279
00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:32,830
- Oh, okay.
- My wife,
280
00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:35,070
she orders me around
all the time.
281
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:37,910
Well, these are my parents,
Steven and Elyse Keaton.
282
00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:39,810
Oh, Mr. Keaton, Mrs. Keaton.
283
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,310
Buffaloed.
284
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:44,950
Hello.
285
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:47,150
"Dear Mallory," it's for you.
286
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:48,750
I got it.
287
00:12:48,780 --> 00:12:51,190
Hello. Yes.
288
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:54,360
"Dear Mallory"?
289
00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:55,860
Oh, Mallory, am I glad
to see you.
290
00:12:55,890 --> 00:12:56,850
You've got to help me.
291
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,700
You look tired.
292
00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:04,230
I'm fine.
293
00:13:04,260 --> 00:13:06,470
How many letters have you
answered tonight, hmm?
294
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:07,870
How many phone calls?
295
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:10,340
Oh, I stopped counting
after a hundred.
296
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:11,870
You're doing way too much.
297
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:14,210
I can't believe how many hours
you're putting in on this.
298
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:15,510
I know.
299
00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:17,040
Mom, I've been working hard.
300
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:19,040
But it's worth it.
301
00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:24,450
When you're in
the public eye, as I am,
302
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,390
your time just isn't your own.
303
00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:28,460
You're so lucky to be
304
00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:30,450
a complete unknown, Mom.
305
00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:35,700
I don't... I don't like
to brag about it.
306
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:37,360
<i>- ?Hola!</i> Hey!
- Hi, Alex.
307
00:13:37,390 --> 00:13:39,800
Boy, how people can say
economics majors are dull
308
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:41,370
is beyond me.
309
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,940
Tonight, we watched reruns of
<i>The MacNeil/Lehrer Report.</i>
310
00:13:44,970 --> 00:13:47,940
Then we started quoting
from Adam Smith.
311
00:13:47,970 --> 00:13:49,930
At random.
312
00:13:51,210 --> 00:13:53,780
And we finished up the night
by dancing on the table
313
00:13:53,810 --> 00:13:56,520
and shouting out
commodities prices.
314
00:13:56,550 --> 00:13:59,690
I'm surprised the cops
didn't bust in on you.
315
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,680
How many times do I have
to throw this thing out?
316
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:07,430
Hello.
317
00:14:07,460 --> 00:14:10,030
Yes, this is she.
318
00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:12,770
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
319
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,500
No, talk to her.
320
00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:16,170
Yeah.
321
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,700
Well, she's your mother
and she deserves that respect.
322
00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:22,310
Uh-huh.
323
00:14:22,340 --> 00:14:25,980
Remember, we're always here
for you. Bye.
324
00:14:26,010 --> 00:14:27,820
That's very good advice,
by the way.
325
00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:30,750
It's instinctive, Mom.
326
00:14:30,780 --> 00:14:33,020
Flows right out of me.
327
00:14:33,050 --> 00:14:35,260
It's like there's
this little voice
328
00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:37,260
inside my brain saying...
329
00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:39,250
"Boy, you can see
for miles in here!"
330
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,010
I got it!
331
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,010
Hey, Mal, Mal, this is getting
a little out of hand.
332
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,180
You're giving
marital advice now?
333
00:15:00,210 --> 00:15:02,580
Oh, Mom, the column's
been expanded.
334
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:05,520
Oh, I'm giving marriage advice,
legal advice.
335
00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:08,350
I'm doing surgery
through the mail.
336
00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:11,890
Mal, telephone for you.
337
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,360
It's someone calling himself
"Fed Up Freddie."
338
00:15:14,390 --> 00:15:16,360
I told him it's
a little late to be calling,
339
00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:18,630
but he says he really needs
to speak to you.
340
00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:21,240
Oh, is he annoying.
341
00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:23,240
Well, tell him it is
too late to call,
342
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,140
but he can come
to the open house tomorrow.
343
00:15:25,170 --> 00:15:26,470
Great.
344
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:29,480
What... what open house?
345
00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:31,410
Well, I figured
it would be a good idea
346
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,050
to have a, um... an open house
one night a week.
347
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,320
That way I can deal
with them one-on-one.
348
00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:40,490
Uh, listen, Freddie?
349
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,860
She, uh... she can't come
to the phone right now.
350
00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:44,980
But there's
an open house tomorrow.
351
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:48,960
Don't start with me, Freddie.
352
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:52,450
Yeah, well, I'm fed up
with you, too!
353
00:15:54,770 --> 00:15:56,970
Mallory, I...
I honestly don't know
354
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,470
how you handle these people!
355
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,440
I-I find it completely
exasperating!
356
00:16:01,470 --> 00:16:03,110
Dear "Disturbed Dad,"
357
00:16:03,140 --> 00:16:05,650
if you let the little things
in life bother you,
358
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,920
you lose sight of what
you really have...
359
00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:10,010
how much you mean
to your family.
360
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,810
She's good.
361
00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:21,660
She's very good. I feel better.
362
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,740
"Romantic Problems"
363
00:16:23,770 --> 00:16:25,660
"Teen Problems"
364
00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:27,590
"Family Problems"
365
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:31,120
"Generally Nuts"
366
00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:35,560
It's really going well, Alex.
So many people showed up,
367
00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:37,630
and I think we really helped
a lot of them.
368
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:41,630
Yeah, well, uh,
I've kept my area tidy.
369
00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:43,470
Look, there are only
about 15 more minutes.
370
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,840
Maybe we should start moving
people towards the door?
371
00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:48,330
All right, Mom, I'll, uh...
I'll get out the big net.
372
00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:54,650
- Well, enjoy yourself tonight,
Skipper? - Uh, actually,
373
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,650
I'm a little overwhelmed,
Mr. Keaton. You see...
374
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:57,980
Well, I-I couldn't really decide
375
00:16:58,010 --> 00:17:00,120
what problem of mine
to focus on.
376
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:02,420
So, uh, well, I've been
kind of hanging
377
00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:04,960
around the "Generally Nuts" area
most of the night.
378
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:07,290
You can't go wrong there, Skip.
379
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,160
- Hi.
- Uh, hello.
380
00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:14,260
I'm Andrea Neff.
Are you "Dear Mallory"?
381
00:17:14,290 --> 00:17:16,530
Yes, but our open house
is almost over.
382
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:17,700
Oh, great.
383
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:19,340
I can't even time
my problems right.
384
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:21,470
I was hoping to have my crisis
earlier, like usual,
385
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,610
but wouldn't you know it,
386
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,240
tonight I got off
to a late start.
387
00:17:24,270 --> 00:17:25,830
My kitchen blew up.
388
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,010
Let me help.
389
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,650
Uh, excuse me, uh, Miss.
390
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,280
Why don't you, uh, just have
a seat right by this sign.
391
00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:35,770
Someone will be around
to help you soon.
392
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:41,160
Um, what seems to be
your problem, Andrea?
393
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:43,160
Well, you-you don't
know me as Andrea.
394
00:17:43,190 --> 00:17:45,060
You know me as "First Love."
395
00:17:45,090 --> 00:17:47,560
"Fi..." Yes! Hi!
396
00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:49,900
I-I've been waiting to hear
from you! How did it go?
397
00:17:49,930 --> 00:17:51,140
Did you talk to your boyfriend?
398
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,140
Yes, um, I...
399
00:17:53,170 --> 00:17:55,470
You know, could you move this?
400
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,570
Oh, God...
401
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,240
I-I talked to him.
402
00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:01,580
And? Did you confront him
like I said?
403
00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:03,580
Were you firm with him?
Tell me everything.
404
00:18:03,610 --> 00:18:04,980
Well, I-I did just
what you said.
405
00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:07,280
I-I looked him right in the eye
and I said, "Billy,
406
00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:09,990
are you seeing another woman?"
And he said, "No, I'm not.
407
00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:11,690
"But I hate being accused by you
408
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,190
and I never want
to see you again."
409
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:16,180
Oh, that's not good.
410
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:21,530
No. I didn't think so either,
411
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,570
but I-I wanted
a professional opinion.
412
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,100
Yeah. Well, I'm sorry.
413
00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:28,540
Aren't you gonna fix it?
414
00:18:28,570 --> 00:18:30,040
Um...
415
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:31,810
I don't think I can.
416
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,800
If I'd have come earlier,
could you have fixed it?
417
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:39,120
Look, maybe
you're better off this way.
418
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:41,790
I mean, maybe he wasn't
the right guy for you.
419
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,290
If he's so willing to leave you
420
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,360
- just because you asked him
a question. - Oh, no, no.
421
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:47,620
He doesn't mind questions.
It was just that <i>one</i>
422
00:18:47,650 --> 00:18:49,230
that really bugged him.
423
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:52,500
Um, maybe you need
to find another guy.
424
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:54,500
You know, there are plenty
of them out there.
425
00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:56,500
Oh, for you. Look at you,
426
00:18:56,530 --> 00:18:58,500
you're gorgeous...
it's easy for you
427
00:18:58,530 --> 00:19:01,370
to say, "Cut him loose,"
but not for me. I mean...
428
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,370
Look at you and look at me!
429
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,380
I-I'm not in a position
to make a stand like that.
430
00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:08,510
How could you give me
that advice?
431
00:19:08,540 --> 00:19:10,180
It was the best advice
I had to give.
432
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:12,180
- I-I just tried...
- I'm Mallory's mother,
433
00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:14,480
and she was trying
to help you, believe me.
434
00:19:14,510 --> 00:19:16,350
Well, what do you know?
435
00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:18,750
You're gorgeous, too.
436
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,830
You're all gorgeous!
437
00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:24,820
I mean...
438
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,370
Do you have any idea
what it's like being me?
439
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,360
Well, I might.
440
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,310
D-Do you know what it's like
sitting by the phone
441
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:42,310
- praying for it to ring?
- Yes.
442
00:19:42,340 --> 00:19:44,650
Do you know how it feels
to have a blind date
443
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,420
show up at your door
and say, "I'm sorry.
444
00:19:46,450 --> 00:19:48,320
There must be some mistake."
And he runs off?
445
00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:49,320
Yes.
446
00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:50,950
Do you know what it's like
447
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:54,460
to go to the prom as a...
as a hatcheck girl?
448
00:19:54,490 --> 00:19:57,130
Yes.
449
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,820
You know, I'm gonna kill
this person.
450
00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:03,030
I-I don't know what to say.
451
00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:04,400
I-I'm... I know.
452
00:20:04,430 --> 00:20:06,440
This is... this is terrible,
I know. I...
453
00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:08,870
I should have written
to "Dear Abby." I...
454
00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:11,170
Oh, that's the last time
I try to save a quarter.
455
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,480
Wait.
456
00:20:12,510 --> 00:20:14,750
Um, do you want to sit down?
We could talk about it.
457
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,740
No, no, I'm fine.
458
00:20:17,910 --> 00:20:20,920
He was the only boyfriend
I'll ever have,
459
00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:23,410
and-and now my life's a wreck.
460
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,580
I'm sorry to bother you.
461
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,950
Wait, Andrea! Wait up!
462
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:35,570
You've been telling us
about your academic
463
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,070
and, uh, social problems
for... let's see...
464
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:41,910
two and a half hours now.
465
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:43,440
And you know what's amazing?
466
00:20:43,470 --> 00:20:45,740
I haven't really scratched
the surface.
467
00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:48,770
That's our sense of it, too.
468
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,480
Well, it's not like you guys
have said anything. I mean...
469
00:20:53,510 --> 00:20:55,120
Can you give me some advice?
470
00:20:55,150 --> 00:20:56,120
Yes.
471
00:20:56,150 --> 00:20:58,110
Go home.
472
00:20:59,290 --> 00:21:01,890
It's good advice, Skip.
473
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,880
Thank you.
474
00:21:07,630 --> 00:21:11,370
Hey, boy, these... lovelorn
people sure eat a lot.
475
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,270
Finished all the dip.
476
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:15,740
Gouged the bowl a little, too.
477
00:21:15,770 --> 00:21:17,210
What a night!
478
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:21,210
I never heard so many problems,
saw so many tears.
479
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,110
I can't believe
how many times I said,
480
00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:24,640
"Would you like a Kleenex?"
481
00:21:27,050 --> 00:21:28,790
- Hi.
- Hey.
482
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:29,920
Are you all right?
483
00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:31,910
Yeah, I'm fine.
484
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,560
Would you like a Kleenex?
485
00:21:35,590 --> 00:21:37,130
Did you catch up with her?
486
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:38,300
Finally.
487
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:40,300
I tell you, this girl
had some problems.
488
00:21:40,330 --> 00:21:42,830
Speed was not one of 'em.
489
00:21:42,860 --> 00:21:45,800
- Well, what did you say to her?
- Mom,
490
00:21:45,830 --> 00:21:48,640
I mean, there was... there was
really nothing to say, you know?
491
00:21:48,670 --> 00:21:51,510
I apologized.
But what could I do?
492
00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:53,910
I-I can't believe the way
this turned out.
493
00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:55,250
All I wanted was for her
494
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,450
to be happy, for them all
to be happy.
495
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,180
That's so much like you,
honey; it really is.
496
00:22:00,210 --> 00:22:01,550
I was really foolish, Mom.
497
00:22:01,580 --> 00:22:03,390
I was really in love
with the idea
498
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:05,260
that I could help
these people, that...
499
00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:07,620
that they'd turn to me
for help, you know?
500
00:22:07,650 --> 00:22:09,860
I got carried away.
501
00:22:09,890 --> 00:22:12,260
Well, you did get
carried away, but...
502
00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:14,930
you don't want to stifle
that noble impulse.
503
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,300
It's such
a beautiful quality, honey.
504
00:22:17,330 --> 00:22:19,800
Mom, I mean, look
at these letters.
505
00:22:19,830 --> 00:22:21,470
I mean,
can you believe the subjects
506
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,210
I was trying to give advice on?
507
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,640
Marriage, aging...
508
00:22:25,670 --> 00:22:28,380
agriculture.
509
00:22:28,410 --> 00:22:30,780
You know, even
as a very little girl
510
00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:33,220
you were always like that, Mal.
511
00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:35,850
So sweet and caring,
always so...
512
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,190
so sensitive
to other people's feelings.
513
00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:40,160
I remember one time
you came home
514
00:22:40,190 --> 00:22:41,630
all upset and teary-eyed.
515
00:22:41,660 --> 00:22:43,890
You couldn't have been more
than five, five and a half.
516
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:49,300
You said, "Dad, Skippy's
hamsters are biting each other."
517
00:22:49,330 --> 00:22:51,300
Oh, Dad.
518
00:22:51,330 --> 00:22:53,240
"And the lady hamster's
biting the man
519
00:22:53,270 --> 00:22:55,510
more than the man's
biting the lady."
520
00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:59,040
And I said, "Well, uh,
maybe that's what hamsters do."
521
00:22:59,070 --> 00:23:01,340
You said, "How could that be?
522
00:23:01,370 --> 00:23:03,780
"They're supposed
to love each other.
523
00:23:03,810 --> 00:23:06,950
I have to have a talk
with that lady hamster."
524
00:23:06,980 --> 00:23:10,050
And the next day you went
and talked to the lady hamster
525
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,060
and you came back home
and said, uh, "Dad,
526
00:23:13,090 --> 00:23:14,860
they stopped biting each other!"
527
00:23:14,890 --> 00:23:17,130
I said, "Good for you, Mallory."
528
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,190
You said, "Yeah.
Now they're biting Skippy."
529
00:23:22,230 --> 00:23:24,330
I love a happy ending.
530
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:26,100
I wish I'd remembered
that story.
531
00:23:26,130 --> 00:23:28,610
I might have stayed out
of the lovelorn business.
532
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,210
Now, don't be so hard
on yourself.
533
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,180
You made some mistakes, but,
hey, you gave some good advice.
534
00:23:33,210 --> 00:23:34,910
Look, here...
535
00:23:34,940 --> 00:23:37,510
"Dear Mallory, my friends
have moved,
536
00:23:37,540 --> 00:23:40,180
"my relatives don't talk to me,
my husband left me.
537
00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:42,720
What should I do? Signed,
'Desperately Lonely."'
538
00:23:42,750 --> 00:23:44,960
Now, what did
"Dear Mallory" reply?
539
00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:47,620
Here, uh, "Dear Lonely,
do yourself a favor.
540
00:23:47,650 --> 00:23:50,020
Stop your whining and learn
how to spell 'desperately."'
541
00:23:52,060 --> 00:23:54,050
I never wrote that.
542
00:24:04,980 --> 00:24:06,970
Well, you were so busy.
|
1
00:00:02,590 --> 00:00:08,350
СЕМЕЙНЫЕ УЗЫ
2
00:00:08,390 --> 00:00:13,670
6 сезон, 2 серия
«Дорогая Мэллори»
3
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:08,480
Энди, это последний кусок торта.
Делиться надо.
4
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:12,220
Съешь яблоко, тебе полезнее.
5
00:01:12,260 --> 00:01:15,790
Спасибо за заботу,
но я, пожалуй, отрежу половину.
6
00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:18,660
– Это не половина.
– Она самая.
7
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:23,500
Думаешь, раз я маленький,
то не могу здраво рассуждать?
8
00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:25,300
– Энди, поделим, и всё.
– Нет!
9
00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:27,970
– Я отрежу половину...
– Я всё маме расскажу!
10
00:01:28,010 --> 00:01:29,520
Спокойно, спокойно.
11
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,830
И не стыдно вам ссориться
из-за куска торта?
12
00:01:32,870 --> 00:01:35,910
Что с того, если один кусок
чуть больше другого?
13
00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:39,900
Ничего... если он будет моим.
14
00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:42,030
Мам, пап, у меня получилось.
Получилось!
15
00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:45,530
В «Коламбусовском гиде покупателя»
мне дали собственную колонку
16
00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:46,870
по личным советам.
17
00:01:46,910 --> 00:01:48,840
Я стану «Дорогой Мэллори».
18
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,160
– Родная.
– Вот это новость!
19
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,690
Меня выбрали больше чем
из сотни претендентов.
20
00:01:52,730 --> 00:01:54,080
Мой пробный ответ был
21
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,970
убедительным, с чувством,
но с долей прагматизма.
22
00:01:57,010 --> 00:01:59,010
Здорово, Мэл. Может,
ты здесь нам поможешь?
23
00:01:59,050 --> 00:02:01,250
Никак вот торт не поделим.
24
00:02:01,290 --> 00:02:03,610
Я тоже его хочу...
25
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,820
Подождите, подождите.
26
00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:09,920
Вы пришли ко мне с проблемой.
27
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,730
Обратились к «Дорогой Мэллори»,
и я вас не брошу.
28
00:02:12,770 --> 00:02:14,760
Садитесь, садитесь.
29
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,270
Как вам такое.
30
00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:20,170
Джен, ты режешь торт.
31
00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:23,370
Энди, а ты выбираешь себе кусок.
32
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,440
Тогда Джен разрежет
его по-честному.
33
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,310
Гениально.
34
00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:31,410
С чувством, убедительно,
но с долей прагматизма.
35
00:02:31,450 --> 00:02:33,580
Стивен, а не взять ли
и нам это на вооружение?
36
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,520
Я буду резать, а ты выбирать.
37
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:38,040
Дорогая, последние 20 лет
мы отлично справляемся:
38
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,690
я и режу, и выбираю.
39
00:02:40,730 --> 00:02:43,530
Но мысль дельная.
40
00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:45,790
Это прям моё.
Не терпится начать.
41
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,600
Смотрите, сколько
писем уже пришло.
42
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:52,850
Не в прямом смысле смотрите,
пап, они конфиденциальны.
43
00:02:52,890 --> 00:02:54,990
Хоть одним глазком.
44
00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:59,990
Ну раз уж ты семья, и всё такое...
45
00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:04,710
«Дорогая Мэллори,
посоветуй, как быть.
46
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,480
Партнёр меня сексуально
не удовлетворяет,
47
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,650
– и я хочу узнать...»
– Папа...
48
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,790
Мой совет – не читай.
49
00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:15,400
Очень мудро, «Дорогая Мэллори».
50
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:20,460
Алекс, ты ни за что не угадаешь!
Я – «Дорогая Мэллори»!
51
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:23,500
Ага, а я – «Очаровательный Алекс».
52
00:03:23,540 --> 00:03:26,130
Три «ха-ха».
Нет, ты не понял.
53
00:03:26,170 --> 00:03:29,800
Теперь я веду личную рубрику
в «Коламбусовском гиде покупателя».
54
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,410
Называется «Дорогая Мэллори».
55
00:03:32,450 --> 00:03:34,340
Что-то знакомое.
Гид покупателя...
56
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:37,040
Не та ли это бесплатная
газетёнка со всякими купонами
57
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,650
в нагрузку при покупках
в супермаркете?
58
00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:42,180
Она самая.
59
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:43,820
И с чего столько радости, Мэл?
60
00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:46,330
Ты будешь давать советы
всяким забулдыгам,
61
00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:48,080
рыскающим в поисках скидок,
62
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,840
тем, кто не может позволить
себе настоящие газеты.
63
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:51,790
Алекс.
64
00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:53,600
Никакие они не забулдыги.
65
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,400
А реальные люди,
которым нужен мой совет.
66
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,990
Будь у них лишний четвертак,
они написали бы «Дорогой Эбби».
67
00:04:02,220 --> 00:04:05,610
Я могу им помочь.
68
00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:09,310
И если кому-то из вас
понадобится помощь,
69
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,660
обращайтесь.
70
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,540
Я буду страшно занята,
71
00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:18,375
но для вас у меня всегда
будет время, для моей семьи.
72
00:04:18,415 --> 00:04:21,505
Режь уже торт.
73
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,850
Проблемы, Мэл?
74
00:04:34,890 --> 00:04:38,470
У меня нет проблем,
я их решаю.
75
00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:40,640
Я «Дорогая Мэллори».
76
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:46,140
Алекс, тебя что-нибудь беспокоит?
77
00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:48,700
Ага.
78
00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:51,240
«Дорогая Мэллори».
79
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:54,540
Ну же, поговори со мной, откройся.
80
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:57,920
Я чувствую, что за всей твоей
самодовольной внешностью
81
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,510
бушует беззащитность и бессилие,
норовя вырваться наружу.
82
00:05:01,550 --> 00:05:04,450
Точно, Мэл, для этого мне
такой внешний вид.
83
00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:07,130
Чтоб ковёр не запачкать.
84
00:05:08,305 --> 00:05:10,590
Алекс, мне нужна практика,
85
00:05:10,630 --> 00:05:13,760
а все в этом доме
поголовно нормальные.
86
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,930
Я стану тебе лучшим другом.
87
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:20,230
Ну тогда другое дело, Мэл.
88
00:05:20,270 --> 00:05:22,940
А всё потому, что у тебя
нет друзей, правильно?
89
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:28,365
Ты зачитай, что ли,
одно из своих писем, да?
90
00:05:30,270 --> 00:05:32,480
«Дорогая Мэллори...»
91
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,450
Классно звучит!
92
00:05:35,490 --> 00:05:38,330
«Я до жути красивая девушка
девятнадцати лет
93
00:05:38,370 --> 00:05:40,460
со сногсшибательной фигурой...»
94
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,760
Продолжай.
95
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:56,270
«Я очень люблю деньги
и ищу умного, симпатичного
96
00:05:56,310 --> 00:06:02,058
парня двадцати одного года,
так же любящего деньги».
97
00:06:02,098 --> 00:06:07,678
Мэл, мы обязаны помочь
этим людям.
98
00:06:07,718 --> 00:06:12,000
И дабы им помочь,
нам нужен их адрес.
99
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,620
Кто-нибудь собирается
накрывать на стол?
100
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:19,790
Да, ма, я было начал.
Но потом передумал.
101
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:22,650
Алекс, сегодня твоя очередь
накрывать.
102
00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:26,500
Ма, как можно думать о еде,
когда тут девушка в опасности
103
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:30,070
на Дуглас-Драйв, 3214?
Квартира 3-В.
104
00:06:30,110 --> 00:06:33,740
Мама, ты должна меня выручить.
105
00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:36,030
Мне нужна практика
в решении людских проблем
106
00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:37,830
до моей первой публикации.
107
00:06:37,870 --> 00:06:38,890
И?
108
00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:43,480
Ты ничего не хочешь обсудить?
Тебя что-нибудь беспокоит?
109
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,980
Я есть хочу.
110
00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:47,750
А кроме, есть что-то ещё?
111
00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:50,140
И выпить бы не отказалась.
112
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:56,130
Папа, выручай.
У тебя есть насущные проблемы?
113
00:06:56,170 --> 00:07:00,260
В дверь я вошёл – уже хорошо.
114
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,230
Ну же, пап, подумай.
Может, что на работе?
115
00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:03,940
– Нет.
– Физическое здоровье?
116
00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:06,480
– В норме.
– Проблемы в браке?
117
00:07:06,525 --> 00:07:11,675
– Иногда твоя мама...
– Стивен!
118
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,930
Мэл, я тут мельком
глянула пару писем.
119
00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:18,280
В основном обычные, но вот
это вполне может сгодиться.
120
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:19,520
О, класс! Класс!
121
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,760
Написано очень трогательно.
122
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,740
«Дорогая, Мэллори.
123
00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:28,140
Мне почти 19, и впервые в жизни
у меня появился парень.
124
00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:32,460
Но вчера подруга мне сказала,
что видела его с другой.
125
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,490
Я реву не переставая.
126
00:07:34,530 --> 00:07:35,680
Как мне быть?»
127
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,330
Подпись: Первая Любовь.
128
00:07:42,305 --> 00:07:45,170
Пап, это просто письмо.
129
00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:49,250
Я в норме. В норме.
130
00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:50,430
Отличный выбор, Джен.
131
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,430
Я напишу о ней
в первой публикации.
132
00:07:52,470 --> 00:07:55,770
Первая любовь.
133
00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:58,410
Мужайся, отец.
134
00:07:58,450 --> 00:08:01,360
Пойдём уже на кухню,
накроем стол к ужину,
135
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,330
а проблемы оставим молодёжи.
136
00:08:03,370 --> 00:08:05,470
Я слишком расстроен, чтобы есть.
137
00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:10,113
А я нет. Вперёд.
138
00:08:10,153 --> 00:08:13,940
Что ты ей ответишь, Мэл?
Ведь ответственность и на мне.
139
00:08:13,980 --> 00:08:15,870
Как-никак я нашла письмо.
140
00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:17,950
Не знаю. Не знаю. Садись.
141
00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:19,910
Что-нибудь вроде:
142
00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:22,250
«Дорогая Первая Любовь,
143
00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:24,340
в море полно рыбы,
144
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:27,030
и тебе в сети мог
попасться судак».
145
00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:33,140
Однако.
146
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,290
«Так что перестань реветь.
147
00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:37,830
Сперва выясни, правда ли это.
148
00:08:37,870 --> 00:08:40,350
Если он встречается
с другой, выбора нет:
149
00:08:40,390 --> 00:08:42,230
дай ему от ворот поворот».
150
00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:43,800
– А неплохо, Мэлли.
– Да?
151
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:51,670
Очень даже. Я бы ещё добавил:
«И пусть он в слизи захлебнётся».
152
00:08:51,710 --> 00:08:55,740
Чисто на мой вкус.
153
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,250
Дельное замечание, Алекс.
154
00:08:58,290 --> 00:09:00,060
Как тебе мой ответ?
155
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,850
Мне понравился,
но не жестковато ли?
156
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:05,030
Знаешь, Джен, грубо, но честно.
157
00:09:05,070 --> 00:09:08,190
Нужна прямолинейность,
иначе люди не ощутят помощи.
158
00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:09,560
Разве не так?
159
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,760
Не знаю, у меня ещё
не было первой любви.
160
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:17,440
Но когда случится, ты же
придёшь ко мне за советом?
161
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,785
Само собой.
162
00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:25,940
Как успехи, мам?
163
00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:28,980
Работаю над домом Мак-Филлипса.
164
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:31,150
До сих пор?
Думала, ты уже закончила.
165
00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:32,680
Проблемы?
166
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:37,303
Непросто найти баланс
пространства и структуры.
167
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:40,090
Можем ли мы напрочь
заделать существующие
168
00:09:40,130 --> 00:09:43,760
элементы, или же подчеркнуть
обособленную веранду
169
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,338
открытыми бетонными балками?
170
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,850
Уже крыша едет.
171
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:55,708
Огорчает архитектура?
172
00:09:55,748 --> 00:09:59,080
Я знаю, что тебя подбодрит.
173
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:02,080
Купи себе новое платье.
174
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,880
Что-нибудь броское – розовое.
175
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:09,028
И мне захвати.
176
00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:11,060
Побалуй себя.
177
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:14,560
Фрэнку Ллойду Райту*
такое всегда помогало.
(*архитектор-новатор)
178
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,630
Вот видишь?
179
00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:18,630
Как продвигается
«Дорогая Мэллори»?
180
00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:20,830
Отлично.
Подключила Энди.
181
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,270
Как мило.
182
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:25,500
Как пишется «повзрослей»?
183
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:27,970
ПО-ВЗРО-СЛЕЙ.
184
00:10:28,010 --> 00:10:31,580
А «захлебнётся в слизи»?
185
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:34,220
Алекса спроси.
186
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:40,270
Мы с подарком, Мэл.
Свежий выпуск «Гида покупателя»!
187
00:10:40,310 --> 00:10:43,620
Ура! Первая «Дорогая Мэллори»!
Где она? Где?
188
00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:45,710
Тут справа, Мэл, вот тут,
прямо между
189
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:49,730
«Выходными механика»
и «Уголком скидок Коры».
190
00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:53,460
Эта колонка «Выходные
механика» – просто улёт.
191
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:56,820
Кому ты рассказываешь, Ник?
Мы её тоже обожаем.
192
00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:58,470
Глядите, моя фотка!
193
00:10:58,510 --> 00:11:01,700
Прямо между Корой и механиком.
194
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,160
Дайте-ка зачитаю.
195
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,410
«Дорогая Первая Любовь,
в море полно рыбы,
196
00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:09,710
и тебе в сети мог
попасться... судак».
197
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:12,550
– Ага.
– Сильно.
198
00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:14,720
А это что тут?
199
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:19,220
Ваши адрес и телефон,
миссис Китон.
200
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:20,990
Знаете, мало ли.
201
00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:24,985
Вдруг вы заблудитесь
или потеряетесь.
202
00:11:27,675 --> 00:11:30,000
Мам, это я их разместила.
203
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,900
Если у моих читателей
будут вопросы
204
00:11:31,940 --> 00:11:33,440
или что-то будет не ясно,
205
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,610
они смогут позвонить
мне прямо сюда.
206
00:11:35,650 --> 00:11:40,400
Такой услуги у «Дорогой Эбби»
точно не предусмотрено.
207
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:44,720
В своих советах
я не холодна и отчуждённа.
208
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,350
Я тепла и доступна.
209
00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:48,390
Я нужна людям,
и они знают, где искать.
210
00:11:48,430 --> 00:11:52,670
Точняк, и я тому свидетель.
Она тёплая и доступная.
211
00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:53,790
Ник!
212
00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:57,545
Ох, будет тебе!
213
00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:03,550
Ник, это даже хуже,
чем наш телефон в газете.
214
00:12:05,650 --> 00:12:08,480
Но что помешает людям
приходить к нашему дому
215
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,440
и стучать в дверь?
216
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,480
Легки на помине.
217
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:14,480
Вам чего?
218
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,180
Это вы «Дорогая Мэллори»?
219
00:12:16,220 --> 00:12:20,680
Ваша проблема уже видна:
пола вы не различаете.
220
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,520
Среди прочего.
221
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,560
«Дорогая Мэллори» вон там.
222
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,230
– Я «Баххало Билл».
– Баффало Билл.
223
00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:32,220
«<i>Баххало</i> Билл».
224
00:12:32,260 --> 00:12:35,100
Жена моя вечно мною помыкает.
225
00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:37,940
Познакомьтесь, мои родители,
Стивен и Элиза Китоны.
226
00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:39,840
Мистер Китон, миссис Китон.
227
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,340
Баххало.
228
00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:44,980
Алло.
229
00:12:45,020 --> 00:12:47,180
«Дорогая Мэллори», это тебя.
230
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:48,780
Я открою.
231
00:12:48,820 --> 00:12:51,220
Алло. Да.
232
00:12:51,260 --> 00:12:54,390
– «Дорогая Мэллори»?
– Да, она там.
233
00:13:00,895 --> 00:13:02,730
Совсем измоталась.
234
00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:04,260
Не очень.
235
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,500
На сколько писем уже
ответила сегодня?
236
00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:07,900
На сколько звонков?
237
00:13:07,940 --> 00:13:10,420
Перестала считать
после первых ста.
238
00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:14,240
Ты перегружаешь себя.
Столько времени потратила.
239
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:19,490
Да, мам, я приложила много
стараний, но оно того стоит.
240
00:13:21,275 --> 00:13:24,373
Когда ты вот так, в центре
внимания общественности,
241
00:13:24,413 --> 00:13:26,440
твоё время тебе
уже не принадлежит.
242
00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:32,130
Какая же ты, мам, счастливая,
что находишься в безвестности.
243
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:35,680
Не люблю этим хвастаться.
244
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,340
– <i>?Hola!</i> Привет!
– Привет, Алекс.
245
00:13:37,380 --> 00:13:39,650
И как только у людей
язык поворачивается
246
00:13:39,690 --> 00:13:41,400
называть экономику скучной?
247
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,920
Сегодня мы пересматривали
«Новости с Макнилом и Лерером».
248
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:48,500
Затем обменивались
цитатами из Адама Смита.
249
00:13:48,540 --> 00:13:50,920
Беспорядочно.
250
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,760
И закончили вечер
танцами на столе,
251
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,500
выражая благодарность
сырьевым ценам.
252
00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:59,670
И как только копы вас не повязали?
253
00:13:59,710 --> 00:14:03,610
Который раз уже выбрасываю.
254
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,360
Алло.
255
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,960
Да, это она.
256
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,700
Нет-нет, ни в коем случае.
257
00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:14,430
Поговорите с ней.
258
00:14:14,470 --> 00:14:16,100
Верно.
259
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:20,660
Она ведь ваша мать
и заслуживает уважения.
260
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,240
Ага.
261
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,910
Всегда к вашим услугам.
До свидания.
262
00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:28,770
Хороший совет, кстати.
263
00:14:28,810 --> 00:14:32,950
Уже на уровне инстинкта.
На автомате.
264
00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:37,190
Словно тонкий голосок
в моей голове нашёптывает:
265
00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:41,050
«О, прозорливейшая
из прозорливых!»
266
00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:54,940
<i>Я возьму.</i>
267
00:14:54,980 --> 00:15:00,110
Мэл, это уже перегиб.
Теперь ты консультируешь семьи?
268
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,510
Мама, мою рубрику расширили.
269
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:05,450
Теперь я даю семейные советы,
юридические советы,
270
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:08,300
провожу операции по почте.
271
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,820
Мэл, звонят тебе.
272
00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:14,290
Некто назвавшийся
«Сет Сыт-По-Горло».
273
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,290
Я сказал, что для звонков
уже поздно,
274
00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:18,880
но ему очень нужно
с тобой поговорить.
275
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,170
Ну и умеет же он
под кожу залезть.
276
00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:22,710
Передай, что уже поздно,
277
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:25,070
но завтра он может прийти
на день открытых дверей.
278
00:15:25,110 --> 00:15:26,400
Хорошо.
279
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,410
Каких ещё открытых дверей?
280
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:34,030
Я подумала, что неплохо бы раз
в неделю устраивать такой день.
281
00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:36,270
Решать проблемы один на один.
282
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,420
Слушайте, Сет.
283
00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:42,790
Она сейчас не может подойти.
284
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,960
Но завтра состоится
день открытых дверей.
285
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:49,230
Сет, вот только мне
не надо втирать.
286
00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:53,540
Так и я вами сыт по горло.
287
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,400
Мэллори, я правда не понимаю,
как ты выносишь этих людей.
288
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,370
Они уже конкретно достали!
289
00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:03,390
Дорогой «Возмущённый Папа»,
290
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,740
позволяя мелочам
тебя беспокоить,
291
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,790
ты теряешь из виду главное –
292
00:16:07,830 --> 00:16:09,960
как много ты значишь
для своей семьи.
293
00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:18,270
А она молодец.
294
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,610
Просто умница.
Мне намного лучше.
295
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,720
«Любовные проблемы»
296
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,640
«Подростковые проблемы»
297
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,570
«Семейные проблемы»
298
00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:32,940
«Больные на всю голову»
299
00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:35,870
Такой успех, Алекс.
Пришло столько людей,
300
00:16:35,910 --> 00:16:37,940
и я считаю,
мы помогли очень многим.
301
00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:41,610
Да, и я тут слежу
за своей территорией.
302
00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:43,450
Осталось всего 15 минут.
303
00:16:43,490 --> 00:16:45,820
Не пора ли уже начинать
спроваживать народ.
304
00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:49,530
Верно, мам.
Схожу за большой сетью.
305
00:16:51,740 --> 00:16:53,820
Хороший вечерок, Скиппер?
306
00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:56,630
Вообще-то, я чуток запутался,
мистер Китон.
307
00:16:56,670 --> 00:17:00,100
Не могу решить, на какой из своих
проблем сфокусироваться.
308
00:17:00,140 --> 00:17:02,750
Большую часть вечера
приглядываюсь
309
00:17:02,790 --> 00:17:04,940
к области
«Больных на всю голову».
310
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:09,135
Тут, Скип, ты не прогадаешь.
311
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,140
– Привет.
– Здравствуйте.
312
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:14,240
Я Андреа Нэфф.
Это вы «Дорогая Мэллори»?
313
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,510
Да, но сегодняшний приём
почти завершён.
314
00:17:16,550 --> 00:17:19,540
Ну класс. Для моих проблем
даже время не то.
315
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,850
Думала, что меня накроет
раньше, как обычно,
316
00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:24,430
но, как ни странно,
сегодня я припозднилась.
317
00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:26,880
У меня протекла крыша.
318
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,630
Это ко мне.
Прошу прощения, мисс.
319
00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:33,715
Не соблаговолите ли присесть
вот здесь, прямо у таблички.
320
00:17:33,755 --> 00:17:38,153
В скором времени вам помогут.
321
00:17:38,193 --> 00:17:41,140
В чём вы видите свою
проблему, Андреа?
322
00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:45,040
Вы знаете меня не как Андреа.
Вам я писала как «Первая Любовь».
323
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,540
Конечно же! Рада видеть!
324
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:51,120
Я ждала вашего ответа!
Вы поговорили со своим парнем?
325
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:56,315
Да, я...
А это можно убрать?
326
00:17:57,430 --> 00:17:59,220
Я с ним поговорила.
327
00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:01,380
И? Была очная ставка?
328
00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:03,560
Вы показали характер?
Рассказывайте без утайки.
329
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,960
Я послушалась вас.
330
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,260
Посмотрела ему прямо
в глаза и сказала: «Билли,
331
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,970
ты встречаешься с другой?»
Он ответил: «Нет, не встречаюсь.
332
00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:14,150
Но твои подозрения меня достали,
и я не желаю тебя больше видеть».
333
00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:17,800
Как-то нехорошо.
334
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:24,550
Согласна, но мне нужно было
профессиональное мнение.
335
00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:27,080
Ага. Сочувствую.
336
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,520
Вы ведь всё исправите?
337
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,790
Я-то? Сомневаюсь,
что мне под силу.
338
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:36,380
А если бы я пришла раньше,
было бы под силу?
339
00:18:36,420 --> 00:18:39,470
Слушайте, а может,
это не ваша судьба.
340
00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:41,770
Может, это был не ваш человек.
341
00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:45,340
Если он так легко вас бросил
из-за каких-то вопросов...
342
00:18:45,380 --> 00:18:49,210
Нет-нет, он не против вопросов.
Только один его достал.
343
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:52,480
Наверное, вам стоит
найти другого.
344
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,480
Тут же множество вариантов.
345
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,480
Для вас. Гляньте на себя –
346
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,480
вы прекрасны.
Вам легко говорить
347
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,350
«дайте ему от ворот поворот»,
но я другая.
348
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,350
Посмотрите на себя и на меня!
349
00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:06,360
Я не из той категории,
чтобы так поступать.
350
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,490
Как вы могли дать
мне тот совет?
351
00:19:08,530 --> 00:19:11,080
Это был лучший возможный
совет. Я только...
352
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:14,460
Я мама Мэллори, и уверяю,
она пыталась помочь.
353
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:18,750
А вам-то откуда знать?
Вы тоже прекрасны.
354
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,270
Да вы все прекрасны!
355
00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:31,475
Вы хоть можете представить,
каково это на моём месте?
356
00:19:31,515 --> 00:19:34,610
Я могу.
357
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:41,230
Вы знаете, что такое сидеть
у телефона и умолять о звонке?
358
00:19:41,270 --> 00:19:42,340
Да.
359
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:44,560
Вы знаете, каково
на свидании вслепую,
360
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,400
когда человек, едва
подойдя, говорит:
361
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,410
«Извините. Тут какая-то
ошибка», и убегает?
362
00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:49,300
Да.
363
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:50,930
Знаете, каково
364
00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:54,440
идти на выпускной
в роли гардеробщицы?
365
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,110
Да.
366
00:19:57,150 --> 00:20:00,860
Я прибью его.
367
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,010
Не знаю, что и сказать.
368
00:20:03,050 --> 00:20:04,380
Понимаю.
369
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:08,850
Это ужасно.
Надо было писать «Дорогой Эбби».
370
00:20:08,890 --> 00:20:11,480
Не буду больше пытаться
сэкономить четвертак.
371
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:12,460
Подождите.
372
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,730
Не хотите присесть?
Можем всё обсудить.
373
00:20:14,770 --> 00:20:17,858
Нет-нет, я в порядке.
374
00:20:17,898 --> 00:20:24,280
Он был моим первым парнем,
и теперь я у разбитого корыта.
375
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,685
Простите за беспокойство.
376
00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:29,950
Подождите, Андреа!
377
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:36,490
Ты вещаешь нам
про свои проблемы
378
00:20:36,530 --> 00:20:41,890
в учёбе и личной жизни
сколько уже? 2,5 часа.
379
00:20:41,930 --> 00:20:43,710
А знаете, что удивительно?
380
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:46,780
Это ещё даже
не вершина айсберга.
381
00:20:46,820 --> 00:20:50,750
У нас схожие ощущения.
382
00:20:50,790 --> 00:20:53,460
Но вы же так ничего и не сказали.
383
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,100
Может, дадите совет?
384
00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:59,290
Да. Иди домой.
385
00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:01,870
Хороший совет, Скип.
386
00:21:01,910 --> 00:21:03,880
Спасибо.
387
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,100
Это ж надо!
388
00:21:09,140 --> 00:21:11,730
Страдающие от безнадёжной
любви столько едят.
389
00:21:11,775 --> 00:21:15,720
Прикончили соус.
Даже миску поскребли.
390
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,190
Вот это вечер.
391
00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:21,190
В жизни не слышал и не видел
столько проблем и слёз.
392
00:21:21,230 --> 00:21:24,640
Сколько ж раз я произнёс:
«Салфеточку?»
393
00:21:27,050 --> 00:21:28,770
– Привет.
– Привет.
394
00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:29,900
Всё нормально?
395
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:32,970
Да, ничего.
396
00:21:33,010 --> 00:21:35,540
Салфеточку?
397
00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:37,110
Догнала?
398
00:21:37,150 --> 00:21:38,280
В итоге да.
399
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:42,810
У этой девушки явно проблемы.
Но не со скоростью.
400
00:21:42,850 --> 00:21:45,780
Что ты ей сказала?
401
00:21:45,820 --> 00:21:48,620
А что тут особо скажешь?
402
00:21:48,660 --> 00:21:51,490
Извинилась.
Но что я могу поделать?
403
00:21:51,530 --> 00:21:53,890
Вот так всё обернулось.
404
00:21:53,930 --> 00:21:57,430
Я желала ей только
счастья, им всем.
405
00:21:57,470 --> 00:22:00,160
Очень на тебя похоже,
родная. Очень.
406
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:01,750
Я так сглупила, мам.
407
00:22:01,790 --> 00:22:07,600
Загорелась идеей помочь людям,
что моя помощь им нужна.
408
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,840
Меня занесло.
409
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,240
Занесло, но...
410
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,910
не надо подавлять этот
благородный порыв.
411
00:22:14,950 --> 00:22:17,280
Это прекрасное качество.
412
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,780
Мам, ты глянь на эти письма.
413
00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:23,190
На какие темы я тут
пыталась давать советы?
414
00:22:23,230 --> 00:22:28,360
Брак, старение,
сельское хозяйство.
415
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:33,200
Мэл, ты и в раннем детстве
была такой.
416
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:38,170
Очень добрая и заботливая,
всегда чуткая к людям.
417
00:22:38,210 --> 00:22:40,140
Помню, однажды
ты пришла домой
418
00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:41,823
расстроенная, заплаканная,
419
00:22:41,863 --> 00:22:44,550
тебе было лет 5,
5 с хвостиком,
420
00:22:44,590 --> 00:22:49,280
и сказала: «Папа, хомяки
Скиппи подрались».
421
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,280
Ох, папа.
422
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:55,490
«И хомячиха кусала хомяка
больше, чем хомяк хомячиху».
423
00:22:55,530 --> 00:22:59,020
Я ответил: «Может,
у них повадки такие».
424
00:22:59,060 --> 00:23:03,760
На что ты: «Как же так?
Они должны любить друг друга.
425
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,930
Мне нужно поговорить
с этой хомячихой».
426
00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:10,030
Назавтра ты ушла
говорить с хомячихой,
427
00:23:10,070 --> 00:23:14,840
а вернувшись домой сказала:
«Пап, они перестали грызться!»
428
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,110
Я похвалил: «Молодец, Мэллори».
429
00:23:17,150 --> 00:23:21,158
А ты: «Да. Теперь они кусают Скиппи».
430
00:23:21,198 --> 00:23:24,310
Хорошо всё,
что хорошо кончается.
431
00:23:24,350 --> 00:23:26,080
Жаль, что я это забыла.
432
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:28,590
Не лезла бы в индустрию
разбитых сердец.
433
00:23:28,630 --> 00:23:30,190
Не кори себя так.
434
00:23:30,230 --> 00:23:33,160
Ты совершила пару ошибок,
но были и хорошие советы.
435
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,890
Вот, смотри.
436
00:23:34,930 --> 00:23:37,490
«Дорогая Мэллори,
мои друзья переехали,
437
00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:40,160
родственники не разговаривают,
муж меня бросил.
438
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,700
Как мне быть?
Подпись: „Отчаино Одинокая“».
439
00:23:42,740 --> 00:23:44,940
И что ответила
«Дорогая Мэллори»?
440
00:23:44,980 --> 00:23:47,600
Вот: «Дорогая Одинокая,
сделайте себе одолжение.
441
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,020
Прекратите ныть и научитесь
писать „отчаянно“».
442
00:23:51,745 --> 00:23:56,025
Я такого не писала.
443
00:24:04,665 --> 00:24:07,995
Ты зашивалась.
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