1
00:00:02,391 --> 00:00:05,030
Do you think they have
yesterday's Daily News?
2
00:00:05,271 --> 00:00:08,422
I just wanna check my horoscope,
see if it was right.
3
00:00:09,671 --> 00:00:13,220
Oh, my God! Don't look now.
Behind you there's a guy. . .
4
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:16,144
. . .who can break our hearts
and plunge us into depression.
5
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,346
Where?
6
00:00:18,791 --> 00:00:20,383
Come to Mama!
7
00:00:20,991 --> 00:00:23,300
He's coming!
Be cool! Be cool! Be cool!
8
00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,707
-Nice hat.
-Thanks.
9
00:00:26,311 --> 00:00:28,779
-We should do something. Whistle.
-We're not whistling.
10
00:00:28,991 --> 00:00:29,821
Come on, do it!
11
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,226
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
12
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,701
I can't believe you did that!
13
00:00:40,631 --> 00:00:42,667
The One With Mrs. Bing
14
00:00:43,951 --> 00:00:44,940
English Subtitles by
GELULA & CO., INC.
15
00:01:26,591 --> 00:01:28,183
Why did I woo-hoo?
16
00:01:28,391 --> 00:01:30,541
Was I hoping he'd turn around and say. . .
17
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,941
. . . ''I love that sound.
I must have you now''?
18
00:01:34,471 --> 00:01:37,224
I just wish there was something
we could do.
19
00:01:39,711 --> 00:01:40,860
Hello, coma guy.
20
00:01:42,631 --> 00:01:44,542
Get up, you Girl Scout!
Up, up, up!
21
00:01:44,791 --> 00:01:45,940
What are you doing?
22
00:01:46,191 --> 00:01:48,022
Maybe nobody's tried this.
23
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:53,020
I wish we at least knew his name.
24
00:01:53,231 --> 00:01:54,823
Look at that face.
25
00:01:55,111 --> 00:01:58,865
I mean, even sleeping he looks smart.
I bet he's a lawyer.
26
00:01:59,111 --> 00:02:02,387
Yeah, but the dents in his knuckles
mean he's artistic.
27
00:02:02,871 --> 00:02:06,864
Okay. He's a lawyer who teaches
sculpting on the side.
28
00:02:07,111 --> 00:02:08,590
And he can dance!
29
00:02:09,311 --> 00:02:13,429
And he's the kind of guy who,
when you're talking, he's listening. . .
30
00:02:13,631 --> 00:02:15,269
. . .not saying, ''I understand'' . . .
31
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,025
. . .but really wondering
what you look like naked.
32
00:02:20,871 --> 00:02:23,385
I wish all guys could be like him.
33
00:02:25,071 --> 00:02:26,060
I know.
34
00:02:31,071 --> 00:02:33,824
Are there no conscious men
in the city for you two?
35
00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:35,865
He doesn't have anyone.
36
00:02:36,111 --> 00:02:38,147
We feel kind of responsible.
37
00:02:38,831 --> 00:02:41,220
I can't believe you said, ''Woo-hoo! ''
38
00:02:41,831 --> 00:02:43,264
I don't even say, ''Woo-hoo! ''
39
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,024
Oh, she's coming up!
40
00:02:45,271 --> 00:02:49,742
When we come back, we'll talk with
the always-interesting Nora Tyler Bing!
41
00:02:49,991 --> 00:02:51,947
Put the kids to bed for this one.
42
00:02:52,191 --> 00:02:55,627
Don't watch this. Weekend at Bernie's
is on Showtime and HBO!
43
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:56,747
No way!
44
00:02:57,271 --> 00:02:58,704
Come on! She's your mom!
45
00:02:58,951 --> 00:03:00,748
Exactly. Weekend at Bernie's.
46
00:03:00,991 --> 00:03:03,585
Dead guy getting hit
in the groin 20, 30 times.
47
00:03:05,631 --> 00:03:08,668
I gotta tell you, I love
your mom's books! I love them!
48
00:03:08,911 --> 00:03:11,471
I cannot get on a plane without one.
This is so cool!
49
00:03:11,711 --> 00:03:14,020
You wouldn't think it's cool
if you were 1 1 . . .
50
00:03:14,231 --> 00:03:18,190
. . .and your friends were passing around
page 79 of Mistress Bitch.
51
00:03:18,791 --> 00:03:20,907
I love your mom!
I think she's a blast!
52
00:03:21,151 --> 00:03:22,903
You can say that.
She's not your mom.
53
00:03:23,151 --> 00:03:24,425
Oh, please! She's the--
54
00:03:24,631 --> 00:03:26,349
Hi, sweetie!
55
00:03:28,151 --> 00:03:30,824
When did ''Rigatoni'' get back from Rome?
56
00:03:32,231 --> 00:03:33,459
-Last night.
-Really?
57
00:03:33,711 --> 00:03:36,828
So then his plane didn't explode
in a big ball of fire?
58
00:03:37,071 --> 00:03:38,868
Just a dream I had.
59
00:03:39,231 --> 00:03:40,266
But. . . .
60
00:03:41,591 --> 00:03:42,819
Hey, hey, hey! She's on!
61
00:03:45,831 --> 00:03:47,310
Nora Bing!
62
00:03:48,751 --> 00:03:53,063
Back to the book. What is this
about you being arrested in London?
63
00:03:53,431 --> 00:03:54,989
Your mom was arrested?
64
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,102
I'm busy beaming with pride.
65
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,589
This is kind of embarrassing...
66
00:04:00,591 --> 00:04:03,788
...but occasionally after
I've been intimate with a man...
67
00:04:04,191 --> 00:04:06,386
Why would she say that's embarrassing?
68
00:04:07,391 --> 00:04:10,508
...I just get this craving
for Kung Pao chicken.
69
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,742
That's too much information!
70
00:04:16,431 --> 00:04:19,070
So now you're doing this book tour.
How's that going?
71
00:04:19,311 --> 00:04:23,145
Oh, fine. I'm leaving
for New York tomorrow, which I hate.
72
00:04:23,391 --> 00:04:25,461
But I get to see my son, who I love!
73
00:04:27,271 --> 00:04:30,820
This is the way that I find out.
Most moms use the phone.
74
00:04:31,231 --> 00:04:34,985
Don 't take this wrong, I just
don 't see you as a mom somehow.
75
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:38,945
-I don 't mean that bad.
-Oh, no. I'm a fabulous mom!
76
00:04:39,511 --> 00:04:41,422
I bought my son his first condoms.
77
00:04:47,231 --> 00:04:49,461
And then he burst into flames.
78
00:04:58,111 --> 00:05:02,024
Let's see. ''Congress is debating
a new deficit-reduction bill.
79
00:05:02,271 --> 00:05:04,307
The mayor wants to raise subway fares.
80
00:05:04,831 --> 00:05:06,947
The high today was 45. ''
81
00:05:07,911 --> 00:05:09,185
Teams played sports.
82
00:05:35,431 --> 00:05:36,830
What about Glen?
83
00:05:37,191 --> 00:05:38,306
He could be a Glen.
84
00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:40,348
Not special enough.
85
00:05:40,911 --> 00:05:42,663
How about Agamemnon?
86
00:05:43,191 --> 00:05:44,510
Way too special.
87
00:05:53,031 --> 00:05:55,226
I'm famished. What do I want?
88
00:05:55,471 --> 00:05:58,543
Please, God, don't let it be
Kung Pao chicken.
89
00:05:58,831 --> 00:06:01,504
You watched the show!
What did you think?
90
00:06:01,751 --> 00:06:04,106
I think you need to come out
of your shell.
91
00:06:07,031 --> 00:06:08,544
What is this dive?
92
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,027
Only you could've picked this place.
93
00:06:11,711 --> 00:06:14,669
Come on. Shut up. It's fun.
Give me a hug.
94
00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:18,464
-I think we're ready for some tequila.
-I know I am.
95
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,622
-Who's doing shots?
-Hit me.
96
00:06:20,831 --> 00:06:21,946
There you go. Ross?
97
00:06:22,471 --> 00:06:24,905
I'm not really a shot-drinking
kind of guy.
98
00:06:25,111 --> 00:06:26,669
Hi! Sorry we're late.
99
00:06:26,911 --> 00:06:30,267
We kind of just, you know,
lost track of time.
100
00:06:32,431 --> 00:06:34,262
But a man can change.
101
00:06:39,791 --> 00:06:42,259
Anyone want me to appraise anything?
102
00:06:51,991 --> 00:06:54,949
Mrs. Bing, I've read
everything you've ever written.
103
00:06:55,191 --> 00:06:59,230
When I read Euphoria at Midnight,
all I wanted to do was become a writer.
104
00:06:59,471 --> 00:07:02,144
Oh, please, honey.
If I can do it, anybody can.
105
00:07:02,591 --> 00:07:04,627
Start with half a dozen
European cities. . .
106
00:07:04,831 --> 00:07:07,425
. . .throw in 30 euphemisms
for male genitalia. . .
107
00:07:07,671 --> 00:07:09,946
. . .and you have got yourself a book!
108
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,665
My mother, ladies and gentlemen!
109
00:07:16,591 --> 00:07:19,310
Yeah, any messages for room 226?
110
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:23,789
-You okay, slugger?
-Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.
111
00:07:36,031 --> 00:07:37,623
What is with you tonight?
112
00:07:37,831 --> 00:07:40,345
Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
113
00:07:41,111 --> 00:07:42,430
Okay, thank you.
114
00:07:45,511 --> 00:07:48,184
It's the Italian hand-licker, isn't it?
115
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,820
No. It's the one he's licking.
116
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,589
She's supposed to be with you.
117
00:07:54,431 --> 00:07:55,580
You're good.
118
00:07:56,511 --> 00:08:01,141
I have sold 100 million copies
of my books, and you know why?
119
00:08:01,511 --> 00:08:04,423
The girl on the cover
with her nipples showing?
120
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:11,101
No, because I know how to write men
that women fall in love with.
121
00:08:11,351 --> 00:08:13,148
Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo.
122
00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:16,428
People will not turn 325 pages
for a Paolo.
123
00:08:16,631 --> 00:08:19,668
Come on. The guy's
a secondary character.
124
00:08:19,911 --> 00:08:23,028
He's just a complication
you eventually kill off.
125
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:25,465
When?
126
00:08:27,631 --> 00:08:29,781
He's not a hero.
127
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,030
You know who our hero is?
128
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,779
The guy on the cover
with his nipples showing?
129
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,830
No, it's you.
130
00:08:37,071 --> 00:08:38,470
-Please.
-No, really.
131
00:08:38,711 --> 00:08:40,986
Come on. You're smart. You're sexy.
132
00:08:41,711 --> 00:08:43,269
-Right.
-Come on, kiddo.
133
00:08:43,511 --> 00:08:46,230
You're gonna be fine, believe me.
134
00:09:05,031 --> 00:09:06,942
I'll just pee in the street.
135
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:18,467
Is Chandler here?
136
00:09:19,071 --> 00:09:20,265
Wait. Come here.
137
00:09:21,711 --> 00:09:23,941
Okay, about last night. . .
138
00:09:24,191 --> 00:09:25,021
. . .you know. . .
139
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,108
. . .Chandler, you didn't tell. . . .
140
00:09:27,351 --> 00:09:31,549
We don't need to tell Chandler.
It was just a kiss. No big deal, right?
141
00:09:31,791 --> 00:09:33,543
Right. No big deal.
142
00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:35,383
In Bizarro-world!
143
00:09:38,671 --> 00:09:39,820
You broke the code!
144
00:09:40,031 --> 00:09:42,829
-What code?
-You don't kiss your friend's mom.
145
00:09:43,071 --> 00:09:46,427
Sisters are okay.
Maybe a hot-looking aunt.
146
00:09:46,631 --> 00:09:48,940
But not a mom. Never a mom!
147
00:09:51,671 --> 00:09:53,548
What are you guys doing out here?
148
00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:57,227
Joey and I had discussed getting
in an early morning racquetball game.
149
00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:01,543
But apparently somebody overslept.
150
00:10:03,391 --> 00:10:05,268
Yeah, well, you don't have your racquet.
151
00:10:05,511 --> 00:10:08,071
No. No, I don't
because it's being restrung.
152
00:10:08,311 --> 00:10:10,347
Somebody was supposed to bring me one.
153
00:10:11,591 --> 00:10:14,424
Well, you didn't call
and leave your grip size.
154
00:10:16,671 --> 00:10:19,424
You guys are spending
way too much time together.
155
00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:23,704
I'm scum. I'm scum.
156
00:10:23,951 --> 00:10:26,260
-How could you let this happen?
-I don't know.
157
00:10:26,511 --> 00:10:28,342
It's not like she's a regular mom.
158
00:10:28,591 --> 00:10:30,229
She's sexy. She's. . . .
159
00:10:30,471 --> 00:10:32,621
You don't think my mom's sexy?
160
00:10:33,871 --> 00:10:36,305
Well, not in the same way.
161
00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:40,430
I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani
was a handsome woman in her day.
162
00:10:41,711 --> 00:10:45,021
You think it's easy giving birth
to seven children?
163
00:10:46,791 --> 00:10:49,749
Okay, I think we're getting
into a weird area here.
164
00:10:51,991 --> 00:10:53,265
What are you doing here?
165
00:10:54,791 --> 00:10:56,463
Not playing racquetball.
166
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:02,550
-He forgot to leave his grip size.
-He didn't get the goggles.
167
00:11:04,511 --> 00:11:06,900
Sounds like you two have issues.
168
00:11:09,911 --> 00:11:10,980
Goodbye, baby.
169
00:11:13,311 --> 00:11:15,506
Do they wait for me to do this?
170
00:11:21,311 --> 00:11:24,303
-Are you gonna tell him?
-Why would I tell him?
171
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,860
How about, because if you don't,
his mother might?
172
00:11:28,151 --> 00:11:30,426
What are you guys doing here?
173
00:11:30,911 --> 00:11:33,186
He's not even wearing a jock strap!
174
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,462
What did I ask?
175
00:11:54,311 --> 00:11:55,869
What are you doing here?
176
00:11:56,071 --> 00:11:59,063
Nothing. I just thought
I'd stop by, you know, after. . .
177
00:11:59,311 --> 00:12:00,460
. . .that I, you know.
178
00:12:00,711 --> 00:12:02,429
So what are you doing here?
179
00:12:03,471 --> 00:12:05,223
I'm not really here.
180
00:12:05,431 --> 00:12:09,788
I just thought I'd drop these off
on the way. My way.
181
00:12:12,111 --> 00:12:14,830
Do you come here a lot. . .
182
00:12:15,631 --> 00:12:16,746
. . .without me?
183
00:12:16,991 --> 00:12:19,027
No, no, no.
184
00:12:22,191 --> 00:12:25,388
Do you think he's doing any better
than he was this morning?
185
00:12:26,911 --> 00:12:29,300
How would I know? I wasn't here.
186
00:12:29,551 --> 00:12:32,827
Really? Not even
to change his pajamas?
187
00:12:36,591 --> 00:12:37,467
Oh, my God!
188
00:12:37,711 --> 00:12:40,350
You're my friend.
I had to tell you.
189
00:12:40,631 --> 00:12:42,189
I can't believe it.
190
00:12:43,231 --> 00:12:44,425
Paolo kissed my mom?
191
00:12:45,911 --> 00:12:48,823
I don't know if you noticed,
but he had a lot to drink.
192
00:12:49,071 --> 00:12:51,585
I mean, you know how he gets
when he's drunk--
193
00:12:53,311 --> 00:12:55,188
I can't do this. I did it.
194
00:12:55,391 --> 00:12:57,746
It was me. I'm sorry.
I kissed your mom.
195
00:12:58,271 --> 00:12:59,181
What?
196
00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:04,023
I was upset about Rachel and Paolo
and I had too much tequila, and Nora. . .
197
00:13:04,231 --> 00:13:06,222
. . .Mrs. Mom, your Bing, was. . .
198
00:13:08,111 --> 00:13:10,341
. . .just being nice.
But nothing happened.
199
00:13:10,591 --> 00:13:11,660
Nothing. Ask Joey.
200
00:13:12,031 --> 00:13:12,861
Joey came in--
201
00:13:13,111 --> 00:13:14,829
You knew about this?
202
00:13:15,071 --> 00:13:17,221
You know, knowledge is a tricky thing.
203
00:13:18,471 --> 00:13:20,746
I spent the entire day with you.
Why didn't you tell me?
204
00:13:20,991 --> 00:13:24,620
You're lucky I caught them, or else
who knows what would've happened?
205
00:13:24,831 --> 00:13:26,184
Thanks, man. Big help.
206
00:13:26,871 --> 00:13:28,907
I can't believe this!
What were you thinking?
207
00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:31,142
I wasn't. I don't know. I--
208
00:13:31,351 --> 00:13:34,468
No one knows the crap I go through
with my mom more than you.
209
00:13:34,711 --> 00:13:36,861
-I know.
-I can't believe you did this!
210
00:13:37,111 --> 00:13:39,261
-Me neither.
-I'm mad at you for not telling me.
211
00:13:39,511 --> 00:13:42,150
-What are you mad at me--?
-Let me slam the door!
212
00:13:43,231 --> 00:13:47,270
I didn't kiss her. He did. See
what happens when you break the code?
213
00:14:00,111 --> 00:14:03,023
''A Woman Undone.
By Rachel Karen Greene. ''
214
00:14:03,231 --> 00:14:06,428
I thought I'd give it a shot.
I'm on the first chapter.
215
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:11,426
Do you think his ''love stick'' can be
''liberated from its denim prison''?
216
00:14:13,071 --> 00:14:15,141
Yeah, I'd say so.
217
00:14:15,471 --> 00:14:18,543
And there's no ''j'' in ''engorged. ''
218
00:14:19,831 --> 00:14:20,866
Hey, Rach.
219
00:14:23,791 --> 00:14:26,259
-You going to the hospital tonight?
-No. You?
220
00:14:26,711 --> 00:14:28,064
No. You?
221
00:14:30,591 --> 00:14:31,580
You just asked me.
222
00:14:32,511 --> 00:14:34,547
Maybe it was a trick question.
223
00:14:36,311 --> 00:14:38,541
Rachel, can we do this now?
224
00:14:40,271 --> 00:14:42,148
I am so hot!
225
00:14:43,711 --> 00:14:46,623
Here's my mother and father
on their wedding day.
226
00:14:46,871 --> 00:14:49,749
Now, you tell me she's not a knockout.
227
00:14:51,111 --> 00:14:52,908
I cannot believe this conversation.
228
00:14:53,151 --> 00:14:55,585
Just try to picture her not pregnant.
229
00:14:57,591 --> 00:15:02,062
Central Perk is proud to present
Miss Phoebe Buffay.
230
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:03,941
Thanks.
231
00:15:06,231 --> 00:15:09,268
I'd like to start with a song
about a man I recently met. . .
232
00:15:09,511 --> 00:15:12,628
. . .who's come to be
very important to me.
233
00:15:18,711 --> 00:15:22,260
You don 't have to be awake
To be my man
234
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:29,146
Long as you have brain waves
I'll be there to hold your hand
235
00:15:30,591 --> 00:15:32,661
Though we just met the other day
236
00:15:32,911 --> 00:15:36,221
There's something I have got to say
237
00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:40,149
Thank you very much.
I'm gonna take a short break.
238
00:15:42,471 --> 00:15:45,861
Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody.
239
00:15:47,031 --> 00:15:49,625
-What the hell was that?
-Phoebe just started--
240
00:15:49,871 --> 00:15:53,227
I was talking to Joey.
All right, there, mother-kisser?
241
00:15:58,471 --> 00:15:59,984
''Mother-kisser. ''
242
00:16:01,431 --> 00:16:02,580
I'll shut up.
243
00:16:02,911 --> 00:16:05,220
Chandler, I know
you're still mad at me. . .
244
00:16:05,471 --> 00:16:08,144
. . .but there were two people
there that night.
245
00:16:08,711 --> 00:16:11,589
-There were two sets of lips.
-I expect this from her.
246
00:16:12,031 --> 00:16:14,386
She's always been a Freudian nightmare.
247
00:16:14,591 --> 00:16:17,549
If she always behaves like this,
why don't you say something?
248
00:16:17,791 --> 00:16:20,669
Because it's complicated.
It's complex!
249
00:16:20,911 --> 00:16:22,310
Hey, you kissed my mom!
250
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,102
We're rehearsing a Greek play.
251
00:16:29,591 --> 00:16:31,229
That's funny.
Are we done now?
252
00:16:31,431 --> 00:16:34,503
You mean you're not gonna
tell her how you feel?
253
00:16:34,751 --> 00:16:37,823
No. Just because you played
tonsil tennis with my mom. . .
254
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:41,068
. . .doesn't mean you know her.
Trust me, you can't talk to her.
255
00:16:41,311 --> 00:16:43,506
Okay. ''You can't''?
Or you can't?
256
00:16:44,791 --> 00:16:46,190
Okay, that's my finger.
257
00:16:46,391 --> 00:16:48,825
Okay, that's my knee.
258
00:16:49,111 --> 00:16:50,464
Still doing the play.
259
00:16:58,711 --> 00:17:00,224
What did you do with him?
260
00:17:04,311 --> 00:17:06,063
-You're awake!
-Look at you!
261
00:17:06,311 --> 00:17:08,222
How do you feel?
262
00:17:08,431 --> 00:17:10,422
A little woozy, but basically okay.
263
00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:12,428
Gosh, you look good!
264
00:17:12,671 --> 00:17:13,990
I feel good.
265
00:17:15,231 --> 00:17:16,584
Who are you?
266
00:17:16,871 --> 00:17:18,350
-Sorry.
-I'm Phoebe Buffay.
267
00:17:18,591 --> 00:17:21,059
I'm Monica Geller.
I've been taking care of you.
268
00:17:21,311 --> 00:17:22,141
We both have.
269
00:17:22,391 --> 00:17:25,224
-The Etch A Sketch is from you guys?
-Actually, from me.
270
00:17:25,471 --> 00:17:28,065
-I got you the foot massager.
-I shaved you.
271
00:17:28,311 --> 00:17:29,141
I read to you.
272
00:17:29,391 --> 00:17:30,460
I sang.
273
00:17:32,631 --> 00:17:33,950
Well, thanks.
274
00:17:34,191 --> 00:17:36,307
-Oh, my pleasure.
-You're welcome.
275
00:17:36,511 --> 00:17:39,309
So I guess I'll see you around.
276
00:17:40,511 --> 00:17:42,183
What? That's it?
277
00:17:42,711 --> 00:17:44,269
''See you around''?
278
00:17:44,511 --> 00:17:47,469
-What do you want me to say?
-I don't know.
279
00:17:47,711 --> 00:17:48,939
Maybe. . .
280
00:17:49,191 --> 00:17:50,419
. . . ''That was nice. ''
281
00:17:50,671 --> 00:17:51,990
''It meant something to me. ''
282
00:17:53,191 --> 00:17:54,590
''I'll call you. ''
283
00:17:55,671 --> 00:17:58,981
-All right. I'll call you.
-I don't think you mean that.
284
00:18:02,111 --> 00:18:03,863
This is so typical.
285
00:18:04,311 --> 00:18:05,426
You know, we give. . .
286
00:18:05,631 --> 00:18:06,859
. . .and we give. . .
287
00:18:07,111 --> 00:18:08,624
. . .and we give.
288
00:18:08,831 --> 00:18:10,867
And then we just get nothing back.
289
00:18:11,111 --> 00:18:14,820
And then one day, it's just,
you wake up, and ''See you around. ''
290
00:18:16,991 --> 00:18:18,390
Let's go, Phoebe.
291
00:18:20,311 --> 00:18:23,621
You know what?
We thought you were different.
292
00:18:23,831 --> 00:18:25,947
But I guess it was just the coma.
293
00:18:29,871 --> 00:18:33,705
The car's waiting. I just wanted
to drop off my book for your friends.
294
00:18:34,631 --> 00:18:38,829
-Anything you want from Lisbon?
-Just knowing you're there is enough.
295
00:18:39,431 --> 00:18:42,503
All right. Well, be good.
I love you.
296
00:18:45,511 --> 00:18:47,024
You kissed my best Ross!
297
00:18:49,831 --> 00:18:51,264
Or something to that effect.
298
00:18:58,111 --> 00:18:59,988
Look, it was stupid.
299
00:19:00,191 --> 00:19:02,307
-Really stupid.
-Really stupid.
300
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,820
And I don't even know how it happened.
301
00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:10,581
I'm sorry, honey. I promise
it will never happen again.
302
00:19:12,511 --> 00:19:14,229
Are we okay now?
303
00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:16,665
No.
304
00:19:21,711 --> 00:19:24,748
The forbidden love
of a man and his door.
305
00:19:26,391 --> 00:19:29,508
He told her off. And not just
about the kiss, about everything!
306
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:30,661
You're kidding?
307
00:19:30,911 --> 00:19:33,425
He said, ''When are you gonna
grow up and start being a mom?''
308
00:19:33,991 --> 00:19:35,549
Then she came back with. . .
309
00:19:35,791 --> 00:19:40,023
. . . ''The question is, when are you gonna
grow up and realize I have a bomb?''
310
00:19:42,031 --> 00:19:43,430
Are you sure she didn't say. . .
311
00:19:43,631 --> 00:19:47,419
. . . ''When are you gonna grow up
and realize I am your mom?''
312
00:19:50,911 --> 00:19:52,230
That makes more sense.
313
00:19:52,471 --> 00:19:53,506
You think?
314
00:19:55,271 --> 00:19:56,260
What's going on now?
315
00:19:56,871 --> 00:20:00,068
I don't know. I've been standing here
spelling it out for you.
316
00:20:02,111 --> 00:20:03,863
I don't hear anything. Wait!
317
00:20:04,111 --> 00:20:05,066
What do you see?
318
00:20:05,311 --> 00:20:07,620
It's hard to tell.
They're tiny and upside down.
319
00:20:07,871 --> 00:20:09,099
Wait, wait, wait!
320
00:20:09,311 --> 00:20:12,303
They're walking away.
They're walking away.
321
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:16,221
No, they're not. They're coming
right at us. Run, run!
322
00:20:18,671 --> 00:20:19,740
Are you okay, kiddo?
323
00:20:20,031 --> 00:20:21,066
Yeah, I'm okay.
324
00:20:21,311 --> 00:20:23,029
All right. You be good.
325
00:20:23,271 --> 00:20:24,829
Drive safe.
326
00:20:26,711 --> 00:20:28,906
-Mrs. Bing.
-Mr. Geller.
327
00:20:37,311 --> 00:20:38,824
You mean that?
328
00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:40,824
Yeah, why not?
329
00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:44,180
So I told her.
330
00:20:45,431 --> 00:20:47,262
-How did it go?
-Awful. Awful.
331
00:20:47,511 --> 00:20:49,103
Couldn't have gone worse.
332
00:20:50,071 --> 00:20:51,663
Well, how do you feel?
333
00:20:51,911 --> 00:20:52,787
Pretty good.
334
00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:56,065
I told her.
335
00:20:56,391 --> 00:20:58,063
Well, see?
336
00:20:58,311 --> 00:21:02,429
So maybe it wasn't such a bad idea
me kissing your mom, huh?
337
00:21:02,631 --> 00:21:04,906
But we don't have to
go down that road.
338
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,827
This is just the first chapter. . .
339
00:21:14,071 --> 00:21:18,428
. . .and I want your absolute
honest opinion. Okay?
340
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:22,990
And on page two, he's not reaching
for her ''heaving beasts. ''
341
00:21:24,511 --> 00:21:25,546
What's a ''niffle''?
342
00:21:25,791 --> 00:21:28,589
You can usually find them
on the heaving beasts.
343
00:21:30,631 --> 00:21:32,747
All right, so I'm not a great typist.
344
00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:36,825
Wait, did you get to the part
about his ''huge, throbbing pens''?
345
00:21:37,631 --> 00:21:40,828
You don't wanna be around
when he starts writing with those!
346
00:21:41,911 --> 00:21:43,902
That's it. Give them back!
|
1
00:00:02,391 --> 00:00:05,030
Ты как думаешь, у них есть вчерашняя Daily News?
2
00:00:05,271 --> 00:00:08,422
Хочу проверить, сбылся ли мой гороскоп.
3
00:00:09,671 --> 00:00:13,220
О, Господи! Не оглядывайся. Позади тебя парень,
4
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:16,144
который может разбить наши сердца
и погрузить нас в пучину депрессии.
5
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,346
Где?
6
00:00:18,791 --> 00:00:20,383
Иди к мамочке!
7
00:00:20,991 --> 00:00:23,300
Он идет!
Спокойно! Спокойно! Спокойно!
8
00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,707
- Красивая шляпка.
- Спасибо.
9
00:00:26,311 --> 00:00:28,779
- Надо что-то делать. Свисти.
- Мы не будем свистеть.
10
00:00:28,991 --> 00:00:29,821
Давай же, свисти.
11
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,226
Давай! Давай! Давай! Давай! Давай!
12
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,701
Не могу поверить, что ты это сделала!
13
00:00:40,631 --> 00:00:42,667
Эпизод с миссис Бинг
14
00:01:26,591 --> 00:01:28,183
И зачем я кричала?
15
00:01:28,391 --> 00:01:30,541
Я что, надеялась, что он обернется и скажет:
16
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,941
"Обожаю этот звук. Ты мне нужна, сейчас же"?
17
00:01:34,471 --> 00:01:37,224
Я бы хотела хоть что-то сделать.
18
00:01:39,711 --> 00:01:40,860
Привет, коматозный парень.
19
00:01:42,631 --> 00:01:44,542
Вставай, девочка-скаут. Вставай, вставай!
20
00:01:44,791 --> 00:01:45,940
Что ты делаешь?
21
00:01:46,191 --> 00:01:48,022
Возможно, так еще не пробовали.
22
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:53,020
Хотелось бы знать его имя.
23
00:01:53,231 --> 00:01:54,823
Посмотри на это лицо.
24
00:01:55,111 --> 00:01:58,865
Даже спящий, он выглядит умным.
Спорим, он адвокат.
25
00:01:59,111 --> 00:02:02,387
Но вмятины на пальцах
выдают в нем художника.
26
00:02:02,871 --> 00:02:06,864
Хорошо. Он - адвокат, подрабатывающий
преподаванием скульптуры.
27
00:02:07,111 --> 00:02:08,590
И он умеет танцевать!
28
00:02:09,311 --> 00:02:13,429
Еще он из тех парней, кто умеют слушать,
не перебивая тебя
29
00:02:13,631 --> 00:02:15,269
фразами "да, я понимаю",
30
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,025
а на самом деле представляют
тебя без одежды.
31
00:02:20,871 --> 00:02:23,385
Вот бы все парни были такими, как он.
32
00:02:25,071 --> 00:02:26,060
Я тебя понимаю.
33
00:02:31,071 --> 00:02:33,824
В этом городе для вас не
осталось парней в сознании?
34
00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:35,865
У него никого нет.
35
00:02:36,111 --> 00:02:38,147
Теперь мы чувствуем себя как бы ответственными.
36
00:02:38,831 --> 00:02:41,220
Неужели ты крикнула "эге-гей!"?
37
00:02:41,831 --> 00:02:43,264
Даже я не кричу "эге-гей!".
38
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,024
О, сейчас начнется!
39
00:02:45,271 --> 00:02:49,742
Мы вернемся и поговорим о новой книге неизменно
популярной
Норы Тайлер Бинг "Высвобожденная Эйфория",
40
00:02:49,991 --> 00:02:51,947
поэтому вам стоит уложить детей спать.
41
00:02:52,191 --> 00:02:55,627
Не смотрите. Там по каналу Шоутайм идет "Уикенд
у Берни",
по Эйч-Би-Оу - ...
42
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:56,747
Ни за что!
43
00:02:57,271 --> 00:02:58,704
Да брось, это же твоя мама.
44
00:02:58,951 --> 00:03:00,748
Вот именно. "Уикенд у Берни!"
45
00:03:00,991 --> 00:03:03,585
Мертвого парня бьют ниже пояса
двадцать или тридцать раз!
46
00:03:05,631 --> 00:03:08,668
Должна тебе признаться, я обожаю книги твоей мамы.
Обожаю!
47
00:03:08,911 --> 00:03:11,471
Я не могу сесть в самолет без одной из них.
Просто здорово!
48
00:03:11,711 --> 00:03:14,020
А по-твоему здорово,
когда тебе одиннадцать,
49
00:03:14,231 --> 00:03:18,190
а твои друзья передают по кругу
79-ю страницу "Повелительницы Шлюх"?
50
00:03:18,791 --> 00:03:20,907
Обожаю твою маму.
На мой взгляд, она - полный отпад.
51
00:03:21,151 --> 00:03:22,903
Легко тебе говорить -
она ведь не твоя мать.
52
00:03:23,151 --> 00:03:24,425
Я тебя умоляю. Она - ...
53
00:03:24,631 --> 00:03:26,349
Привет, дорогой!
54
00:03:28,151 --> 00:03:30,824
Когда этот макаронник вернулся из Рима?
55
00:03:32,231 --> 00:03:33,459
- Вчера вечером.
- Правда?
56
00:03:33,711 --> 00:03:36,828
Так, значит, его самолет не взорвался,
превратившись в большой огненный шар?
57
00:03:37,071 --> 00:03:38,868
Значит, мне приснилось.
58
00:03:39,231 --> 00:03:40,266
Но...
59
00:03:41,591 --> 00:03:42,819
Эй, эй, эй! Начинается!
60
00:03:45,831 --> 00:03:47,310
Нора Бинг!
61
00:03:48,751 --> 00:03:53,063
Вернемся к вашей книге. Что вы можете сказать
по поводу
вашего ареста в Лондоне? Что произошло?
62
00:03:53,431 --> 00:03:54,989
Твою маму арестовывали?
63
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,102
Не мешай, я переполняюсь гордостью.
64
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,589
Мне немного неловко говорить,
65
00:04:00,591 --> 00:04:03,788
но иногда после близости с мужчиной...
66
00:04:04,191 --> 00:04:06,386
К чему было говорить, что ей неловко?
67
00:04:07,391 --> 00:04:10,508
... мне страстно хочется острой курочки по-китайски.
68
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,742
Слишком много подробностей!
69
00:04:16,431 --> 00:04:19,070
Так сейчас вы совершаете тур со своей книгой.
Как он проходит?
70
00:04:19,311 --> 00:04:23,145
Отлично. Завтра я отправляюсь в Нью Йорк,
который я ненавижу.
71
00:04:23,391 --> 00:04:25,461
Но там я смогу встретиться с сыном,
которого я обожаю.
72
00:04:27,271 --> 00:04:30,820
Вот так я и узнаю.
Другие матери пользуются телефоном.
73
00:04:31,231 --> 00:04:34,985
Не поймите меня превратно, но
мне не удается представить вас в роли матери.
74
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:38,945
- Я не хочу сказать, что это плохо.
- Нет, что вы. Я замечательная мать.
75
00:04:39,511 --> 00:04:41,422
Я купила сыну его первый презерватив.
76
00:04:47,231 --> 00:04:49,461
И он запылал, объятый пламенем.
77
00:04:58,111 --> 00:05:02,024
Так, посмотрим. "Конгресс обсуждает новый
законопроект
о сокращении дефицита бюджета.
78
00:05:02,271 --> 00:05:04,307
Мэр опять хочет поднять стоимость проезда в метро.
79
00:05:04,831 --> 00:05:06,947
На улице было плюс 7.
80
00:05:07,911 --> 00:05:09,185
Спортсмены занимаются спортом.
81
00:05:35,431 --> 00:05:36,830
Может, Глен?
82
00:05:37,191 --> 00:05:38,306
Он же может быть Гленом.
83
00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:40,348
Не-а, недостаточно уникально.
84
00:05:40,911 --> 00:05:42,663
А если Агамемнон?
85
00:05:43,191 --> 00:05:44,510
Чересчур уникально.
86
00:05:53,031 --> 00:05:55,226
Умираю от голода. Чего же я хочу?
87
00:05:55,471 --> 00:05:58,543
Господи, прошу тебя -
только не курица по-китайски!
88
00:05:58,831 --> 00:06:01,504
Ты смотрел эту передачу!
И что ты думаешь?
89
00:06:01,751 --> 00:06:04,106
Я думаю, тебе надо быть
более раскрепощенной.
90
00:06:07,031 --> 00:06:08,544
Что это за забегаловка?
91
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,027
Только вы могли выбрать такое место.
92
00:06:11,711 --> 00:06:14,669
Да ладно тебе, не ворчи.
Здесь весело. Дай я тебя обниму.
93
00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:18,464
- Думаю, пора выпить текилы.
- Мне точно пора.
94
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,622
- Кто пьет?
- Я.
95
00:06:20,831 --> 00:06:21,946
Вот. Росс?
96
00:06:22,471 --> 00:06:24,905
Я вообще-то не пью.
97
00:06:25,111 --> 00:06:26,669
Привет! Извините за опоздание.
98
00:06:26,911 --> 00:06:30,267
Мы слегка потеряли
счет времени.
99
00:06:32,431 --> 00:06:34,262
Однако, мужчина может и передумать.
100
00:06:39,791 --> 00:06:42,259
Кому-нибудь нужно что-нибудь оценить?
101
00:06:51,991 --> 00:06:54,949
Миссис Бинг, я прочла
все ваши книги.
102
00:06:55,191 --> 00:06:59,230
Когда я прочитала "Эйфорию в полночь",
я так захотела стать писателем.
103
00:06:59,471 --> 00:07:02,144
Дорогуша, я тебя умоляю.
Если уж я стала, то любой может стать.
104
00:07:02,591 --> 00:07:04,627
Берем полдесятка
европейских городов,
105
00:07:04,831 --> 00:07:07,425
добавляем штук 30 разных названий
мужских гениталий
106
00:07:07,671 --> 00:07:09,946
и книга готова!
107
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,665
Моя мать, дамы и господа -
прошу любить и жаловать!
108
00:07:16,591 --> 00:07:19,310
Есть ли сообщения для номера 226?
109
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:23,789
- С тобой все в порядке, пьянчужка?
- Да-да, все нормально.
110
00:07:36,031 --> 00:07:37,623
Что с тобой сегодня?
111
00:07:37,831 --> 00:07:40,345
Ничего. Ничего, ничего.
112
00:07:41,111 --> 00:07:42,430
Хорошо, спасибо.
113
00:07:45,511 --> 00:07:48,184
Это из-за итальяшки,
который лижет пальцы?
114
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,820
Нет. Из-за той, кому их лижут.
115
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,589
Она должна была быть с тобой.
116
00:07:54,431 --> 00:07:55,580
Вас не проведешь.
117
00:07:56,511 --> 00:08:01,141
Послушай, Росс, я продала 100 миллионов
экземпляров своих книжек и знаешь почему?
118
00:08:01,511 --> 00:08:04,423
Из-за голых девушек на обложке?
119
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:11,101
Нет. Потому что я пишу о мужчинах,
в которых могут влюбиться женщины.
120
00:08:11,351 --> 00:08:13,148
Поверь, такого, как Паоло я бы не смогла продать.
121
00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:16,428
Люди не буду листать 325 страниц
из-за какого-то Паоло.
122
00:08:16,631 --> 00:08:19,668
Да посмотри же, этот парень -
второстепенный персонаж.
123
00:08:19,911 --> 00:08:23,028
Небольшое осложнение, с которым ты
в конце концов справишься.
124
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:25,465
Когда?
125
00:08:27,631 --> 00:08:29,781
Он не герой.
126
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,030
Знаешь, кто наш герой?
127
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,779
Полуголый мужик на обложке?
128
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,830
Нет, это ты!
129
00:08:37,071 --> 00:08:38,470
- Не надо.
- Нет, правда.
130
00:08:38,711 --> 00:08:40,986
Ты умный. Ты сексапильный.
131
00:08:41,711 --> 00:08:43,269
- Ну конечно.
- Хватит тебе, малыш.
132
00:08:43,511 --> 00:08:46,230
У тебя все будет хорошо, поверь мне.
133
00:09:05,031 --> 00:09:06,942
Я пописаю на улице.
134
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:18,467
Чэндлер дома?
135
00:09:19,071 --> 00:09:20,265
Стой. Иди сюда.
136
00:09:21,711 --> 00:09:23,941
Слушай, насчет вчерашнего вечера...
137
00:09:24,191 --> 00:09:25,021
знаешь...
138
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,108
не говори Чэндлеру...
139
00:09:27,351 --> 00:09:31,549
Не надо говорить Чэндлеру. Это был
просто поцелуй. Ничего особенного, понял?
140
00:09:31,791 --> 00:09:33,543
Понял. Ничего особенного.
141
00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:35,383
Для ненормальных!
142
00:09:38,671 --> 00:09:39,820
Ты нарушил кодекс!
143
00:09:40,031 --> 00:09:42,829
- Какой кодекс?
- Нельзя целовать мать своего друга.
144
00:09:43,071 --> 00:09:46,427
Сестер - можно.
Может, даже симпатичную тетю.
145
00:09:46,631 --> 00:09:48,940
Но не мать. Не маму!
146
00:09:51,671 --> 00:09:53,548
Что это вы тут делаете?
147
00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:57,227
Джоуи и я собирались встать пораньше
на утренний теннис.
148
00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:01,543
Но, очевидно, кто-то проспал.
149
00:10:03,391 --> 00:10:05,268
Ага, а у тебя и ракетки нет.
150
00:10:05,511 --> 00:10:08,071
Да. Нету, потому что я отдал
ее на перетяжку струн.
151
00:10:08,311 --> 00:10:10,347
А кто-то обещал мне принести другую.
152
00:10:11,591 --> 00:10:14,424
А ты не позвонил и не сказал
мне свой размер рукоятки.
153
00:10:16,671 --> 00:10:19,424
Слушайте, вы проводите вместе
слишком много времени.
154
00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:23,704
Я подонок. Подонок.
155
00:10:23,951 --> 00:10:26,260
- Как ты мог такое допустить?
- Не знаю.
156
00:10:26,511 --> 00:10:28,342
Она не совсем обычная мама.
157
00:10:28,591 --> 00:10:30,229
Она сексапильная. Она...
158
00:10:30,471 --> 00:10:32,621
Хочешь сказать, моя мама не сексапильная?
159
00:10:33,871 --> 00:10:36,305
Ну, не в таком смысле.
160
00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:40,430
Так знай же, что Глория Триббиани
в свое время была красивой женщиной.
161
00:10:41,711 --> 00:10:45,021
Думаешь, легко родить семерых?
162
00:10:46,791 --> 00:10:49,749
Ладно, слушай, кажется,
нас завело не в ту степь.
163
00:10:51,991 --> 00:10:53,265
Что это вы здесь делаете?
164
00:10:54,791 --> 00:10:56,463
Мы не играем в теннис.
165
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:02,550
- Он забыл дать мне свой размер рукоятки.
- А он не взял очки.
166
00:11:04,511 --> 00:11:06,900
Похоже, с вами не все в порядке.
167
00:11:09,911 --> 00:11:10,980
Пока, детка.
168
00:11:13,311 --> 00:11:15,506
Они ждут, чтобы я сделал так же?
169
00:11:21,311 --> 00:11:24,303
- Ты ему скажешь?
- Зачем я буду ему говорить?
170
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,860
Затем, что если не скажешь,
его мать сама может сказать.
171
00:11:28,151 --> 00:11:30,426
Что это вы тут делаете?
172
00:11:30,911 --> 00:11:33,186
Он даже не надел бандаж!
173
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,462
А о чем я вас спросила?
174
00:11:54,311 --> 00:11:55,869
Что ты здесь делаешь?
175
00:11:56,071 --> 00:11:59,063
Ничего. Просто подумала, дай
зайду после, знаешь...
176
00:11:59,311 --> 00:12:00,460
...после этого.
177
00:12:00,711 --> 00:12:02,429
А ты что здесь делаешь?
178
00:12:03,471 --> 00:12:05,223
Да я вообще-то не здесь.
179
00:12:05,431 --> 00:12:09,788
Просто подумала, дай
занесу их по... по пути.
180
00:12:12,111 --> 00:12:14,830
Ты часто приходишь сюда
181
00:12:15,631 --> 00:12:16,746
без меня?
182
00:12:16,991 --> 00:12:19,027
Нет! Нет-нет!
183
00:12:22,191 --> 00:12:25,388
Ты думаешь, ему лучше,
чем сегодня утром?
184
00:12:26,911 --> 00:12:29,300
Откуда мне знать? Меня здесь не было.
185
00:12:29,551 --> 00:12:32,827
Правда?! И ты даже
пижаму ему не меняла?!
186
00:12:36,591 --> 00:12:37,467
Бог ты мой!
187
00:12:37,711 --> 00:12:40,350
Ты мой друг.
Я должен был тебе сказать.
188
00:12:40,631 --> 00:12:42,189
Я не могу в это поверить.
189
00:12:43,231 --> 00:12:44,425
Паоло целовал мою мать?
190
00:12:45,911 --> 00:12:48,823
Я не знаю, заметил ли ты,
но он порядком выпил.
191
00:12:49,071 --> 00:12:51,585
Я имею в виду, что ты знаешь как
он себя ведет, когда надерется.
192
00:12:53,311 --> 00:12:55,188
Я так не могу. Я это сделал.
193
00:12:55,391 --> 00:12:57,746
Это был я. Прости меня.
Я целовал твою мать.
194
00:12:58,271 --> 00:12:59,181
Что?
195
00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:04,023
Я был расстроен из-за Рэйчел и Паоло,
и выпил слишком много текилы, и Нора...
196
00:13:04,231 --> 00:13:06,222
миссис Мама, твоя Бинг, была
197
00:13:08,111 --> 00:13:10,341
так мила.
Но ничего не прозошло.
198
00:13:10,591 --> 00:13:11,660
Ничего. Спроси Джоуи.
199
00:13:12,031 --> 00:13:12,861
Джоуи вошел...
200
00:13:13,111 --> 00:13:14,829
И ты знал об этом?
201
00:13:15,071 --> 00:13:17,221
Знаешь, знание это такая сложная вещь.
202
00:13:18,471 --> 00:13:20,746
Я провел с тобой целый день.
И ты ничего не сказал?
203
00:13:20,991 --> 00:13:24,620
Тебе повезло, что я их застал. Ты представь, что
могло произойти, если бы я их не застал?!
204
00:13:24,831 --> 00:13:26,184
Спасибо, друг. Уж помог, так помог.
205
00:13:26,871 --> 00:13:28,907
Я не могу поверить!
О чем ты думал?
206
00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:31,142
Я не... Я не знаю. Я...
207
00:13:31,351 --> 00:13:34,468
Никто лучше тебя не знает, в какое
дерьмо я попадал из-за своей матери.
208
00:13:34,711 --> 00:13:36,861
- Я знаю.
- Я не могу поверить, что ты это сделал.
209
00:13:37,111 --> 00:13:39,261
- Но на меня....
- А на тебя я взбешен, потому что ты мне ничего
не сказал.
210
00:13:39,511 --> 00:13:42,150
- Это почему вдруг ты взбешен...?
- Сейчас я хлопну дверью!
211
00:13:43,231 --> 00:13:47,270
Я не целовал ее. Он целовал. Смотри, что
происходит, когда ты нарушаешь кодекс?!
212
00:14:00,111 --> 00:14:03,023
"Незавершенная женщина",
автор Рэйчел Карен Грин.
213
00:14:03,231 --> 00:14:06,428
Я решила попробовать.
Пишу первую главу.
214
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:11,426
Как ты думаешь, можно так написать: "его
жезл
любви вырвался из своей джинсовой темницы"?
215
00:14:13,071 --> 00:14:15,141
Да, я бы так и сказала.
216
00:14:15,471 --> 00:14:18,543
И "набухший" пишется через "а".
217
00:14:19,831 --> 00:14:20,866
Привет, Рэйч.
218
00:14:23,791 --> 00:14:26,259
- Ты идешь сегодня вечером в больницу?
- Нет, а ты?
219
00:14:26,711 --> 00:14:28,064
Нет. А ты?
220
00:14:30,591 --> 00:14:31,580
Ты только что спрашивала.
221
00:14:32,511 --> 00:14:34,547
Может, я хотела тебя подловить.
222
00:14:36,311 --> 00:14:38,541
Рэйчел, ты можешь меня объявить?
223
00:14:40,271 --> 00:14:42,148
Я так возбуждена!
224
00:14:43,711 --> 00:14:46,623
Это мои отец и мать
в день свадьбы.
225
00:14:46,871 --> 00:14:49,749
Теперь скажи мне, что она не сногсшибательна.
226
00:14:51,111 --> 00:14:52,908
Я не верю, что мы с тобой это обсуждаем.
227
00:14:53,151 --> 00:14:55,585
Просто представь, что она не беременна.
228
00:14:57,591 --> 00:15:02,062
"Центральная кофейня" представляет
вам мисс Фиби Буффе.
229
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:03,941
Спасибо.
230
00:15:06,231 --> 00:15:09,268
Я хочу начать с песни о человеке,
которого недавно встретила...
231
00:15:09,511 --> 00:15:12,628
... который стал очень важен для меня.
232
00:15:18,711 --> 00:15:22,260
Тебе не нужно приходить в сознание,
Чтобы стать моим мужчиной.
233
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:29,146
Пока у тебя есть активность мозга,
Я буду с тобой, держа твою руку,
234
00:15:30,591 --> 00:15:32,661
И хотя мы встретитись совсем недавно,
235
00:15:32,911 --> 00:15:36,221
Я хочу кое-что тебе сказать...
236
00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:40,149
Спасибо большое.
У меня небольшой перерыв.
237
00:15:42,471 --> 00:15:45,861
Отлично, это была Фиби Буффе.
238
00:15:47,031 --> 00:15:49,625
- Что это было?
- Фиби только начала...
239
00:15:49,871 --> 00:15:53,227
Я говорю с Джоуи.
Понятно, маму целовальщик?
240
00:15:58,471 --> 00:15:59,984
"Маму целовальщик".
241
00:16:01,431 --> 00:16:02,580
Я помолчу.
242
00:16:02,911 --> 00:16:05,220
Чэндлер, я понимаю, что ты все еще зол на меня...
243
00:16:05,471 --> 00:16:08,144
но там было 2 человека тем вечером.
244
00:16:08,711 --> 00:16:11,589
- Было две пары губ.
- От нее-то можно такое ожидать.
245
00:16:12,031 --> 00:16:14,386
Она всегда была ночным кошмаром Фрейда.
246
00:16:14,591 --> 00:16:17,549
Если она всегда себя так ведет,
почему ты ей ничего не скажешь?
247
00:16:17,791 --> 00:16:20,669
Потому что это сложно.
Это комплекс!
248
00:16:20,911 --> 00:16:22,310
Эй, ты целовал мою мать!
249
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,102
Мы просто репетируем древнегреческую пьесу.
250
00:16:29,591 --> 00:16:31,229
Забавно.
Мы закончили?
251
00:16:31,431 --> 00:16:34,503
Ты имеешь в виду, что не скажешь
ей о том, что чувствуешь?
252
00:16:34,751 --> 00:16:37,823
Нет. Хоть ты и играл в теннис
гландами моей матери...
253
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:41,068
это не значит, что ты ее знаешь.
Поверь мне, с ней невозможно разговаривать.
254
00:16:41,311 --> 00:16:43,506
Ладно. "Невозможно" или ты не можешь?
255
00:16:44,791 --> 00:16:46,190
Ладно, это мой палец.
256
00:16:46,391 --> 00:16:48,825
Ладно, это мое колено.
257
00:16:49,111 --> 00:16:50,464
Это продолжение репетиции.
258
00:16:58,711 --> 00:17:00,224
И что ты с ним сделала?
259
00:17:04,311 --> 00:17:06,063
- Ты проснулся?
- Посмотри на себя!
260
00:17:06,311 --> 00:17:08,222
Как ты себя чувствуешь?
261
00:17:08,431 --> 00:17:10,422
Чуть голова кружится, а так нормально.
262
00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:12,428
Боже, ты выглядишь отлично!
263
00:17:12,671 --> 00:17:13,990
Я и чувствую себя отлично.
264
00:17:15,231 --> 00:17:16,584
А вы кто?
265
00:17:16,871 --> 00:17:18,350
- Извини.
- Я Фиби Буффе.
266
00:17:18,591 --> 00:17:21,059
Я Моника Геллер.
Я заботилась о тебе.
267
00:17:21,311 --> 00:17:22,141
Мы обе заботились.
268
00:17:22,391 --> 00:17:25,224
- Так эта доска-рисовалка от вас?
- Вообще-то, только от меня.
269
00:17:25,471 --> 00:17:28,065
- Я принесла тебе массажер для ног.
- Я тебя брила.
270
00:17:28,311 --> 00:17:29,141
Я тебе читала.
271
00:17:29,391 --> 00:17:30,460
А я пела.
272
00:17:32,631 --> 00:17:33,950
Что ж, спасибо.
273
00:17:34,191 --> 00:17:36,307
- Ох, не стоит.
- Пожалуйста.
274
00:17:36,511 --> 00:17:39,309
Что ж, думаю как-нибудь еще пересечемся.
275
00:17:40,511 --> 00:17:42,183
Что? И все?
276
00:17:42,711 --> 00:17:44,269
"Как-нибудь пересечемся?"
277
00:17:44,511 --> 00:17:47,469
- А что, по-вашему, я должен сказать?
- Не знаю.
278
00:17:47,711 --> 00:17:48,939
Может - ...
279
00:17:49,191 --> 00:17:50,419
... - "Это так мило."
280
00:17:50,671 --> 00:17:51,990
... - "Ваша забота тронула меня."
281
00:17:53,191 --> 00:17:54,590
... - "Я вам позвоню."
282
00:17:55,671 --> 00:17:58,981
- Хорошо. Я вам позвоню
- Как-то не верится, что ты всерьез.
283
00:18:02,111 --> 00:18:03,863
Вот так всегда.
284
00:18:04,311 --> 00:18:05,426
Знаешь, мы старались,
285
00:18:05,631 --> 00:18:06,859
старались
286
00:18:07,111 --> 00:18:08,624
и старались.
287
00:18:08,831 --> 00:18:10,867
А взамен - оказывается ничего!
288
00:18:11,111 --> 00:18:14,820
Однажды ты приходишь в себя и просто
говоришь "как-нибудь пересечемся".
289
00:18:16,991 --> 00:18:18,390
Пойдем, Фиби.
290
00:18:20,311 --> 00:18:23,621
Знаешь, мы ведь думали, что ты другой.
291
00:18:23,831 --> 00:18:25,947
Наверное, это просто из-за комы.
292
00:18:29,871 --> 00:18:33,705
Машина ждет. Я хотела раздать
твоим друзьям по книге.
293
00:18:34,631 --> 00:18:38,829
- Что-нибудь хочешь из Лиссабона?
- Знать, что ты там - уже достаточно.
294
00:18:39,431 --> 00:18:42,503
Ну ладно. Веди себя хорошо.
Я тебя люблю.
295
00:18:45,511 --> 00:18:47,024
Ты целовалась с моим лучшим Россом!
296
00:18:49,831 --> 00:18:51,264
Или что-то в этом духе.
297
00:18:58,111 --> 00:18:59,988
Послушай, это было глупо.
298
00:19:00,191 --> 00:19:02,307
- Очень глупо.
- Очень глупо.
299
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,820
И я даже не представляю, как это могло произойти.
300
00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:10,581
Прости, дорогой. Обещаю,
это больше не повторится.
301
00:19:12,511 --> 00:19:14,229
Теперь все в порядке?
302
00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:16,665
Нет.
303
00:19:21,711 --> 00:19:24,748
Запретная любовь
мужчины и его двери.
304
00:19:26,391 --> 00:19:29,508
Он высказался. И не только
насчет поцелуя, насчет всего!
305
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:30,661
Серьезно?
306
00:19:30,911 --> 00:19:33,425
Он сказал: "Когда ты уже повзрослеешь
и станешь обычной мамой?"
307
00:19:33,991 --> 00:19:35,549
А она ответила:
308
00:19:35,791 --> 00:19:40,023
"Вопрос в том, когда повзрослеешь ты
и поймешь, что я твоя мамба."
309
00:19:42,031 --> 00:19:43,430
А ты уверен, что она не сказала:
310
00:19:43,631 --> 00:19:47,419
"Вопрос в том, когда повзрослеешь
ты и поймешь, что я твоя мама?"
311
00:19:50,911 --> 00:19:52,230
Появляется какой-то смысл!
312
00:19:52,471 --> 00:19:53,506
Да ну?
313
00:19:55,271 --> 00:19:56,260
А сейчас что происходит?
314
00:19:56,871 --> 00:20:00,068
Я не знаю. Я же стоял тут и рассказывал тебе,
что было.
315
00:20:02,111 --> 00:20:03,863
Я ничего не слышу. Подожди.
316
00:20:04,111 --> 00:20:05,066
Что ты видишь?
317
00:20:05,311 --> 00:20:07,620
Сложно сказать.
Они малюсенькие и вверх тормашками.
318
00:20:07,871 --> 00:20:09,099
Стой, стой, стой!
319
00:20:09,311 --> 00:20:12,303
Они уходят.
Они уходят.
320
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:16,221
Да нет же. Они идут сюда. Бежим!
321
00:20:18,671 --> 00:20:19,740
Ты как, малыш?
322
00:20:20,031 --> 00:20:21,066
Да в порядке.
323
00:20:21,311 --> 00:20:23,029
Хорошо. Будь умничкой.
324
00:20:23,271 --> 00:20:24,829
Хорошей дороги.
325
00:20:26,711 --> 00:20:28,906
- Мисс Бинг.
- Мистер Геллер.
326
00:20:37,311 --> 00:20:38,824
Ты серьезно?
327
00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:40,824
Ага, а что?
328
00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:44,180
В общем, я ей сказал.
329
00:20:45,431 --> 00:20:47,262
- И как все прошло?
- Ужасно. Ужасно.
330
00:20:47,511 --> 00:20:49,103
Хуже и быть не могло.
331
00:20:50,071 --> 00:20:51,663
И как ты себя чувствуешь?
332
00:20:51,911 --> 00:20:52,787
Весьма неплохо.
333
00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:56,065
Я ей сказал.
334
00:20:56,391 --> 00:20:58,063
Вот видишь?
335
00:20:58,311 --> 00:21:02,429
Так что, может быть, это была не самая
плохая идея - поцеловать твою маму, а?
336
00:21:02,631 --> 00:21:04,906
Но нам не обязательно к этому возвращаться.
337
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,827
Это только первая глава...
338
00:21:14,071 --> 00:21:18,428
и я хочу, чтобы вы высказались
предельно откровенно, ладно?
339
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:22,990
И на второй странице он не тянется к ее
"вздымающимся грушам".
340
00:21:24,511 --> 00:21:25,546
А что такое "сосюк"?
341
00:21:25,791 --> 00:21:28,589
Обычно они водятся на
вздымающихся грушах.
342
00:21:30,631 --> 00:21:32,747
Хорошо, я делаю опечатки.
343
00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:36,825
Дошли до места про его
"огромный, пульсирующий денис..."?
344
00:21:37,631 --> 00:21:40,828
Не хотелось бы оказаться рядом,
когда он начнет им пользоваться!
345
00:21:41,911 --> 00:21:43,902
Так, хватит! Давайте сюда!
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