1
00:00:03,416 --> 00:00:05,372
I'm teIIing you, she wants you.
2
00:00:05,616 --> 00:00:08,255
She bareIy knows me.
We just Iive in the same buiIding.
3
00:00:08,496 --> 00:00:09,292
Any contact?
4
00:00:09,496 --> 00:00:10,724
She lent me an egg once.
5
00:00:10,936 --> 00:00:12,085
You're in!
6
00:00:13,136 --> 00:00:14,615
Oh, right.
7
00:00:22,416 --> 00:00:24,976
Come on. You gotta get back
in the game here.
8
00:00:25,216 --> 00:00:29,175
The Rachel thing's not happening,
your ex-wife's a lesbian, you. . . .
9
00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:31,893
I don't think we need a third.
10
00:00:32,136 --> 00:00:35,208
Excuse me. Could we get an egg
still in the shell?
11
00:00:35,616 --> 00:00:36,412
An egg?
12
00:00:36,656 --> 00:00:41,332
Go up to her and say, ''Here's your
egg back. I'm returning your egg. ''
13
00:00:41,896 --> 00:00:43,454
I think it's winning!
14
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,371
I think it's insane.
15
00:00:45,616 --> 00:00:46,412
She'll love it!
16
00:00:47,816 --> 00:00:50,410
-Thank you.
-Thank you. Here.
17
00:00:53,496 --> 00:00:55,293
Go with the egg, my friend.
18
00:00:57,616 --> 00:00:59,891
Go, go, go!
19
00:01:01,816 --> 00:01:04,933
-Think it'll work?
-It's suicide. The man's got an egg.
20
00:01:05,496 --> 00:01:07,532
The One With the Candy Hearts
21
00:01:08,776 --> 00:01:09,765
English Subtitles by
GELULA & CO., INC.
22
00:01:53,616 --> 00:01:55,607
-You cannot do this.
-What? Do what?
23
00:01:55,856 --> 00:01:57,335
Roger wants to take her out.
24
00:01:57,536 --> 00:02:00,448
No! Pheebs! Don't you remember
why you dumped the guy?
25
00:02:01,096 --> 00:02:02,529
Because he was creepy.
26
00:02:03,496 --> 00:02:05,327
And mean. And a little frightening.
27
00:02:05,576 --> 00:02:08,010
Still, it's nice to have
a date on Valentine's Day!
28
00:02:10,376 --> 00:02:12,890
You can go out with a creep
any night of the year.
29
00:02:13,536 --> 00:02:14,764
I know I do.
30
00:02:18,176 --> 00:02:19,734
What are you doing tomorrow night?
31
00:02:19,936 --> 00:02:22,734
Actually, tomorrow night
depends on how tonight goes.
32
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,366
-Listen, about tonight--
-Don't you dare bail on me!
33
00:02:26,616 --> 00:02:29,926
She's only going out with me because
I'm bringing a friend for her friend.
34
00:02:30,136 --> 00:02:31,933
But her friend sounds like such a--
35
00:02:32,176 --> 00:02:34,292
Pathetic mess. I know, but. . . .
36
00:02:34,816 --> 00:02:37,330
Come on, man, she's needy,
she's vulnerable.
37
00:02:37,536 --> 00:02:39,128
I'm thinking. . . .
38
00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:44,646
Thanks.
39
00:02:45,616 --> 00:02:49,211
You haven't been out with a woman
since Janice. You're doing this.
40
00:02:52,176 --> 00:02:53,325
She said yes.
41
00:02:54,016 --> 00:02:55,654
Way to go, man!
42
00:02:57,016 --> 00:02:58,927
Still got the egg, huh?
43
00:03:11,896 --> 00:03:12,885
How do I look?
44
00:03:14,216 --> 00:03:15,535
I don't care.
45
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:20,451
There's Lorraine.
46
00:03:20,696 --> 00:03:22,368
Now, remember, no trading.
47
00:03:22,616 --> 00:03:24,811
You get the pretty one.
I get the mess.
48
00:03:29,616 --> 00:03:31,095
Well, well!
49
00:03:31,296 --> 00:03:32,854
Look what you brought!
50
00:03:33,096 --> 00:03:34,495
Very nice.
51
00:03:35,536 --> 00:03:37,367
And what did you bring?
52
00:03:39,016 --> 00:03:40,654
She's checking her coat.
53
00:03:40,896 --> 00:03:44,047
I'm gonna go wash the cab smell
off of my hands.
54
00:03:44,296 --> 00:03:47,925
Will you get me a white zinfandel
and a glass of red for Janice?
55
00:03:52,616 --> 00:03:53,446
Janice?
56
00:03:58,016 --> 00:03:59,165
Oh. . .
57
00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:00,565
. . .my. . .
58
00:04:00,816 --> 00:04:01,965
. . .God!
59
00:04:05,816 --> 00:04:07,408
Hey, it's Janice!
60
00:04:13,816 --> 00:04:16,250
I'm making a break for it!
I'm going out the window!
61
00:04:16,496 --> 00:04:20,933
No, don't, please! I've been waiting
for forever to go out with Lorraine!
62
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,252
-Just calm down.
-Calm down? Calm down?
63
00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:27,330
You set me up with a woman I've dumped
twice in the last five months!
64
00:04:28,576 --> 00:04:31,966
Can you stop yelling?
You're making me nervous. . .
65
00:04:35,216 --> 00:04:37,332
. . .and I can't go when I'm nervous.
66
00:04:37,896 --> 00:04:39,932
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right.
67
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,733
Come on! Do it, do it, do it!
Come on!
68
00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:51,925
Okay, Roger was creepy, but he was
nothing compared to Pete Carney.
69
00:04:52,176 --> 00:04:53,973
-Which one was he?
-Pete the Weeper?
70
00:04:54,216 --> 00:04:57,731
Remember the guy that used to cry
every time we had sex?
71
00:04:58,216 --> 00:05:00,605
''Oh, was it good for you?''
72
00:05:02,656 --> 00:05:06,729
Well, I'd take a little crying
any day over Howard, the ''I win'' guy!
73
00:05:06,936 --> 00:05:08,927
''I win! I win! ''
74
00:05:10,296 --> 00:05:13,527
I went out with him for
two months. I didn't get to win once!
75
00:05:14,136 --> 00:05:17,367
How do we end up with these jerks?
We're good people.
76
00:05:17,616 --> 00:05:20,335
I don't know. I think we're like
some kind of magnets.
77
00:05:20,576 --> 00:05:23,932
I know I am. That's why I can't
wear a digital watch.
78
00:05:26,816 --> 00:05:28,613
There's more beer, right?
79
00:05:30,616 --> 00:05:33,653
Oh! You know my friend Abby
who shaves her head?
80
00:05:35,176 --> 00:05:37,770
She says to break the
bad-boyfriend cycle. . .
81
00:05:38,016 --> 00:05:40,211
. . .you can do a cleansing ritual.
82
00:05:42,816 --> 00:05:46,286
Pheebs, this woman
is voluntarily bald.
83
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:52,130
So we can do it
tomorrow night, you guys.
84
00:05:52,376 --> 00:05:54,128
It's Valentine's Day.
It's perfect.
85
00:05:54,616 --> 00:05:56,652
Okay, well, what kind of ritual?
86
00:05:56,896 --> 00:06:00,775
Okay, we can burn the stuff
they gave us.
87
00:06:01,816 --> 00:06:03,215
Or. . .?
88
00:06:03,456 --> 00:06:08,052
Or we can chant and dance
around naked, you know, with sticks.
89
00:06:11,136 --> 00:06:12,205
Burning's good.
90
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,935
I've got stuff to burn.
91
00:06:22,136 --> 00:06:23,012
You know. . .
92
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:28,048
. . .ever since I was little, I've been
able to pick up quarters with my toes.
93
00:06:28,296 --> 00:06:29,206
Yeah?
94
00:06:29,616 --> 00:06:30,810
Good for you.
95
00:06:33,776 --> 00:06:36,609
Quarters or rolls of quarters?
96
00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:45,525
By the way, Chandler,
I cut you out of all of my pictures.
97
00:06:45,776 --> 00:06:49,086
So if you want, I have a bag
with just your heads.
98
00:06:50,776 --> 00:06:52,004
That's okay.
99
00:06:52,776 --> 00:06:56,246
Are you sure? Because you
could make little puppets out of them.
100
00:06:56,496 --> 00:06:59,852
And you could use them in your
Theater of Cruelty!
101
00:07:02,536 --> 00:07:03,935
We can't do that!
102
00:07:05,016 --> 00:07:07,052
What? What can't you do?
103
00:07:10,176 --> 00:07:12,292
Can I talk to you for a second?
Over there?
104
00:07:19,616 --> 00:07:21,174
We might be leaving now.
105
00:07:22,296 --> 00:07:23,854
Say it's you and me ''we. ''
106
00:07:25,296 --> 00:07:29,130
She said she wants to slather my body
with stuff and then lick it off.
107
00:07:29,376 --> 00:07:31,936
I'm not even sure what slathering is!
108
00:07:32,496 --> 00:07:34,930
But I definitely want to be
a part of it!
109
00:07:36,336 --> 00:07:38,850
Okay, you cannot do this to me.
110
00:07:40,216 --> 00:07:42,411
You're right. I'm sorry.
You're right.
111
00:07:42,616 --> 00:07:46,734
Can we have three chocolate mousses
to go, please?
112
00:07:47,496 --> 00:07:48,815
I'm out of here.
113
00:07:50,696 --> 00:07:53,733
Here's my credit card.
Dinner's on me. I'm sorry.
114
00:07:54,296 --> 00:07:56,446
I hope she throws up on you.
115
00:07:58,816 --> 00:07:59,805
Thanks.
116
00:08:02,016 --> 00:08:02,846
So. . . .
117
00:08:03,296 --> 00:08:04,695
Just us.
118
00:08:05,096 --> 00:08:07,246
What a crappy night!
119
00:08:07,576 --> 00:08:11,535
Though I've enjoyed the fact that
your shirt's been sticking out. . .
120
00:08:11,776 --> 00:08:14,495
. . .of your zipper since you
came back from the bathroom.
121
00:08:19,536 --> 00:08:20,525
Excuse me.
122
00:08:23,896 --> 00:08:25,124
How you doing?
123
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:33,612
So do we have the best friends,
or what?
124
00:08:33,856 --> 00:08:36,086
Joey's not a friend. He's. . .
125
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:41,127
. . .a stupid man who left us
his credit card.
126
00:08:42,776 --> 00:08:46,052
Another drink? Some dessert?
A big-screen TV?
127
00:08:46,376 --> 00:08:47,809
I will go for that drink.
128
00:08:48,056 --> 00:08:49,535
You got it. Good woman!
129
00:08:54,776 --> 00:08:57,131
A bottle of your
most overpriced champagne.
130
00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:58,007
Each.
131
00:08:58,256 --> 00:08:59,530
That's right. Each.
132
00:08:59,736 --> 00:09:01,010
And a rob roy.
133
00:09:02,096 --> 00:09:03,734
I've always wanted to know.
134
00:09:21,216 --> 00:09:24,811
Happy Valentine's Day!
135
00:09:32,576 --> 00:09:35,295
Oh, I miss you already.
136
00:09:36,616 --> 00:09:38,254
Can you believe this happened?
137
00:09:38,496 --> 00:09:39,895
No, no!
138
00:09:41,216 --> 00:09:42,695
And yet it did.
139
00:09:43,576 --> 00:09:45,726
-Goodbye, Janice.
-Kiss me!
140
00:09:48,496 --> 00:09:49,770
Oh, Chandler. Sorry.
141
00:09:50,816 --> 00:09:53,171
Oh, Chandler. Sorry!
142
00:09:55,216 --> 00:09:56,171
Hey, Janice.
143
00:09:56,416 --> 00:09:57,326
Hi, Monica.
144
00:09:57,536 --> 00:10:00,334
Okay. Well, this was very special.
145
00:10:01,496 --> 00:10:04,294
Rach, come see who's out here!
146
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:07,529
What's going on--?
Oh, my God!
147
00:10:07,736 --> 00:10:09,806
Janice! Hi!
148
00:10:10,296 --> 00:10:12,856
Janice is gonna go away now!
149
00:10:14,696 --> 00:10:15,731
I'll be right back.
150
00:10:17,736 --> 00:10:19,772
Joey! Look who it is!
151
00:10:23,776 --> 00:10:25,255
Oh, good! Joey's home now!
152
00:10:25,496 --> 00:10:27,726
This is so much fun!
153
00:10:27,976 --> 00:10:30,854
This is like a reunion in the hall!
154
00:10:32,896 --> 00:10:35,854
Hi, Ross. There's someone
I want you to say hi to.
155
00:10:38,136 --> 00:10:39,410
He just happened to call.
156
00:10:39,656 --> 00:10:43,934
Hello, Ross. Yes, that's right!
It's me! How did you know?
157
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:53,365
I'm just saying if dogs
do experience jet lag, then. . .
158
00:10:53,616 --> 00:10:57,734
. . .because of the whole seven-dog-
years-to-one-human-year thing. . .
159
00:10:57,976 --> 00:11:01,127
. . .that when a dog flies
from New York to Los Angeles. . .
160
00:11:01,336 --> 00:11:05,329
. . .he doesn't just lose three hours,
he loses, like, a week and a half!
161
00:11:08,576 --> 00:11:09,691
That's funny!
162
00:11:26,776 --> 00:11:27,845
Who are they?
163
00:11:28,176 --> 00:11:30,246
The blond is my ex-wife.
164
00:11:30,496 --> 00:11:33,408
And the woman touching her is her. . .
165
00:11:33,816 --> 00:11:35,727
. . .close personal friend.
166
00:11:38,216 --> 00:11:39,854
You mean they're lovers?
167
00:11:40,096 --> 00:11:42,087
If you want to put a label on it.
168
00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:48,214
-Anything else I should know?
-Nope. That's it.
169
00:11:49,696 --> 00:11:51,926
Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby.
170
00:11:55,736 --> 00:11:57,727
I always forget that part.
171
00:11:59,816 --> 00:12:00,805
Hello!
172
00:12:07,096 --> 00:12:11,806
Okay. So now we need sage branches
and the sacramental wine.
173
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,011
All I had is oregano and a Fresca.
174
00:12:17,016 --> 00:12:17,971
That's okay!
175
00:12:22,896 --> 00:12:26,047
All right. Now we need the semen
of a righteous man.
176
00:12:31,616 --> 00:12:35,848
If we had that, we wouldn't be doing
the ritual in the first place.
177
00:12:37,496 --> 00:12:39,327
Can we start throwing things in?
178
00:12:39,576 --> 00:12:40,804
Yeah, okay!
179
00:12:44,336 --> 00:12:45,849
Okay. Barry's letters.
180
00:12:47,216 --> 00:12:49,730
Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.
181
00:12:49,976 --> 00:12:53,855
And I have the receipt
from my dinner with--
182
00:12:57,816 --> 00:13:00,967
-A picture of Scotty Jared, naked!
-Let me see!
183
00:13:01,336 --> 00:13:03,008
He's wearing a sweater.
184
00:13:08,416 --> 00:13:12,045
Okay, and here we have
the last of Paolo's grappa.
185
00:13:12,296 --> 00:13:13,695
Wait! Isn't it almost pure--
186
00:13:18,816 --> 00:13:21,455
How can I dump this woman
on Valentine's Day?
187
00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:24,527
I don't know.
You dumped her on New Year's.
188
00:13:26,616 --> 00:13:30,325
Oh, man! In my next life
I'm coming back as a toilet brush.
189
00:13:32,096 --> 00:13:34,485
Hello, funny valentine!
190
00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:37,134
Hi, just Janice.
191
00:13:38,096 --> 00:13:40,451
Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker.
192
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:44,132
I could just kiss you all over
and I'm gonna!
193
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,814
If you don't do it, I will.
194
00:14:03,136 --> 00:14:06,208
So what do you do for a living?
195
00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:09,010
Well, for the past few years,
I've been. . . .
196
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:11,776
You said they could
shoot the spot without you.
197
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:12,931
I thought they could!
198
00:14:13,176 --> 00:14:16,327
--working with children,
which is really fulfilling.
199
00:14:16,576 --> 00:14:19,648
I'll try to get back
as soon as I can. I'm sorry.
200
00:14:19,896 --> 00:14:23,047
So I'm spending most
of my time teaching science. . .
201
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,891
. . .which is funny because
that wasn't even my major.
202
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:40,334
Now, that is funny!
203
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:44,685
Hey, do you think--
204
00:14:45,096 --> 00:14:48,725
Would it be too weird if I invited
Carol over to join us?
205
00:14:48,976 --> 00:14:50,967
Because she's alone now.
206
00:14:51,496 --> 00:14:53,214
And pregnant. And sad.
207
00:14:54,416 --> 00:14:55,735
-I guess.
-Are you sure?
208
00:14:55,976 --> 00:14:57,329
Thanks. Carol!
209
00:14:58,216 --> 00:14:59,729
Wanna come over and join us?
210
00:14:59,936 --> 00:15:01,130
Oh, no. I'm fine.
211
00:15:01,376 --> 00:15:04,334
Come on, stand up. These people
will scooch down.
212
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:07,608
Come over here.
You guys will scooch, won't you?
213
00:15:07,936 --> 00:15:10,734
Let's try scooching! Come on!
214
00:15:10,936 --> 00:15:12,972
-Come on.
-Thank you.
215
00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:17,974
Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willet.
216
00:15:18,216 --> 00:15:19,126
Carol, Kristen.
217
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:20,928
How do you do?
218
00:15:21,176 --> 00:15:22,973
Carol teaches sixth grade.
219
00:15:23,376 --> 00:15:25,606
And Kristen. . . .
220
00:15:28,816 --> 00:15:31,046
Kristen does something. . .
221
00:15:32,536 --> 00:15:34,174
. . .that, funnily enough. . .
222
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,335
. . .wasn't even her major!
223
00:15:41,496 --> 00:15:42,895
What do we got there?
224
00:15:44,016 --> 00:15:46,007
A piece of silk boxer shorts. . .
225
00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:48,174
. . .some greeting cards. . .
226
00:15:48,816 --> 00:15:51,694
. . .what looks like a
half-charred picture of. . . .
227
00:15:52,336 --> 00:15:54,725
Wow! That guy's hairier
than the chief!
228
00:15:58,216 --> 00:16:01,413
You know, it's a really funny story
how this happened.
229
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:03,328
It's all right. Don't explain.
230
00:16:03,536 --> 00:16:06,528
It's not the first boyfriend bonfire
to get out of control.
231
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,331
-You're our third call tonight.
-Really?
232
00:16:11,576 --> 00:16:14,534
Sure. Valentine's is our
busiest night of the year!
233
00:16:17,896 --> 00:16:19,375
I brought you something.
234
00:16:19,576 --> 00:16:21,009
Is it loaded?
235
00:16:24,976 --> 00:16:27,046
Oh, little candy hearts!
236
00:16:28,416 --> 00:16:30,930
''Chan and Jan forever! ''
237
00:16:31,336 --> 00:16:33,372
I had them made special.
238
00:16:37,016 --> 00:16:38,210
Okay, Janice.
239
00:16:39,296 --> 00:16:40,251
Janice.
240
00:16:41,816 --> 00:16:42,885
Hey, Janice.
241
00:16:46,016 --> 00:16:48,132
There's no way for me
to tell you this.
242
00:16:48,376 --> 00:16:50,810
At least, no new way
for me to tell you this.
243
00:16:53,816 --> 00:16:56,489
I just don't think things
are gonna work out.
244
00:16:59,096 --> 00:17:00,245
That's fine.
245
00:17:04,016 --> 00:17:05,529
It is?
246
00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:09,212
Because I know that this
isn't the end.
247
00:17:11,216 --> 00:17:13,571
Oh, no. You see, actually, it is.
248
00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:16,535
No, it isn't. Because you
won't let that happen.
249
00:17:16,776 --> 00:17:18,175
Don't you know it yet?
250
00:17:18,416 --> 00:17:21,453
You love me, Chandler Bing!
251
00:17:25,496 --> 00:17:27,009
Oh, no, I don't.
252
00:17:27,736 --> 00:17:30,375
Then why do you think
we keep ending up together?
253
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,368
New Year's, who invited who?
254
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:35,369
Valentine's, who asked who
into whose bed?
255
00:17:35,616 --> 00:17:36,446
I did, but--
256
00:17:36,696 --> 00:17:37,924
You seek me out!
257
00:17:38,176 --> 00:17:43,091
Something deep in your soul
calls out to me like a foghorn!
258
00:17:43,416 --> 00:17:47,045
Janice! Janice!
259
00:17:47,336 --> 00:17:49,531
You want me! You need me!
260
00:17:49,816 --> 00:17:52,853
You can't live without me!
261
00:17:53,176 --> 00:17:54,655
And you know it!
262
00:17:55,016 --> 00:17:58,725
You just don't know you know it.
263
00:18:02,976 --> 00:18:04,011
See you.
264
00:18:10,696 --> 00:18:11,845
Call me!
265
00:18:20,096 --> 00:18:23,930
It's not true. I never called
your mother a wolverine.
266
00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:26,570
You did so. I swear.
I swear to--
267
00:18:30,336 --> 00:18:32,611
How long has she been in the bathroom?
268
00:18:33,496 --> 00:18:36,533
I don't think she's in the bathroom.
Her coat is gone.
269
00:18:36,856 --> 00:18:38,767
Well, maybe it's cold in there.
270
00:18:41,096 --> 00:18:44,133
Maybe I screwed up the first date
I had in nine years.
271
00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:46,765
-That could be it.
-Oh, God.
272
00:18:48,016 --> 00:18:50,325
You know, this is still pretty hot.
273
00:18:54,896 --> 00:18:55,931
Mushroom.
274
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,371
Smile.
275
00:18:59,376 --> 00:19:03,130
They won't all be like this.
Some might even stay through dinner.
276
00:19:03,936 --> 00:19:06,496
-I'm sorry. That's not funny.
-No, it's just. . . .
277
00:19:07,216 --> 00:19:10,572
Well, you know the whole
getting-on-with-your-life thing?
278
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,772
Well, do I have to?
279
00:19:13,216 --> 00:19:17,846
I mean, well, I'm sitting here
with this cute woman. . .
280
00:19:18,096 --> 00:19:20,052
. . .and she's perfectly nice,
you know?
281
00:19:20,296 --> 00:19:22,093
But there's. . . .
282
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,405
That's it.
283
00:19:25,416 --> 00:19:30,126
And then I'm here talking to you,
and it's easy and it's fun.
284
00:19:30,376 --> 00:19:32,731
And I don't have to. . . .
285
00:19:33,136 --> 00:19:34,649
-I know.
-You know?
286
00:19:38,616 --> 00:19:40,527
Here's a wacky thought.
287
00:19:41,816 --> 00:19:44,728
Let's say you and I give it
another shot.
288
00:19:45,656 --> 00:19:47,806
I know what you're gonna say.
You're a lesbian.
289
00:19:49,936 --> 00:19:54,532
But what do you say we just
put that aside for now, you know?
290
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:57,165
Let's just stick a pin in it, okay?
291
00:19:57,416 --> 00:20:00,169
Because we're great together,
you know?
292
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:02,372
You can't deny it.
293
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:05,651
And besides, you're carrying my baby.
294
00:20:05,896 --> 00:20:08,535
I mean, how perfect is that?
295
00:20:08,776 --> 00:20:11,734
You keep saying that,
but there's something right here.
296
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:12,732
I love you.
297
00:20:20,696 --> 00:20:22,368
I love you too.
298
00:20:23,936 --> 00:20:25,574
-But--
-No ''but. '' No ''but. ''
299
00:20:27,496 --> 00:20:30,533
You know that thing they
put over here with the pin in it?
300
00:20:33,336 --> 00:20:35,804
It's time to take the pin out.
301
00:20:42,016 --> 00:20:45,770
You'll find someone, I know you will.
The right woman is waiting for you.
302
00:20:46,016 --> 00:20:48,735
It's easy for you to say.
You found one already.
303
00:20:51,136 --> 00:20:53,889
All you need is a woman who likes men
and you'll be set.
304
00:20:57,976 --> 00:20:59,125
Not her.
305
00:21:09,896 --> 00:21:12,729
We get off around midnight.
Why don't we pick you up then?
306
00:21:14,616 --> 00:21:17,130
So will you bring the truck?
307
00:21:19,536 --> 00:21:21,527
I'll even let you ring the bell.
308
00:21:22,096 --> 00:21:24,929
-We'll see you later.
-Bye! See you later!
309
00:21:25,136 --> 00:21:26,774
Thanks. See you.
310
00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:28,210
Oh, my God!
311
00:21:29,296 --> 00:21:30,934
See, there you go.
312
00:21:31,176 --> 00:21:33,451
-The cleansing worked.
-You're right!
313
00:21:33,696 --> 00:21:35,095
They're nice guys!
314
00:21:35,496 --> 00:21:37,612
They're firemen guys!
315
00:21:39,176 --> 00:21:40,768
-You tell them you're married?
-No way!
316
00:21:41,016 --> 00:21:43,735
My girlfriend doesn't know.
I'm not gonna tell them!
|
1
00:00:03,416 --> 00:00:05,372
Я тебе говорю, она хочет тебя.
2
00:00:05,616 --> 00:00:08,255
Она едва меня знает
Мы просто живем в одном доме.
3
00:00:08,496 --> 00:00:09,292
Контакты были?
4
00:00:09,496 --> 00:00:10,724
Она мне однажды одолжила яйцо.
5
00:00:10,936 --> 00:00:12,085
Ты в игре!
6
00:00:13,136 --> 00:00:14,615
Да, точно.
7
00:00:22,416 --> 00:00:24,976
Да ладно. Тебе нужно сейчас
вернуться на поле.
8
00:00:25,216 --> 00:00:29,175
С Рэйчел ничего не получается.
Твоя бывшая жена лесбиянка, ты...
9
00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:31,893
Наверное, этого уже хватит.
10
00:00:32,136 --> 00:00:35,208
Простите, можно яйцо в скорлупе?
11
00:00:35,616 --> 00:00:36,412
Яйцо?
12
00:00:36,656 --> 00:00:41,332
Подойди и скажи " Это твое яйцо.
Я возвращаю тебе яйцо"
13
00:00:41,896 --> 00:00:43,454
Я думаю, это беспроигрышный вариант.
14
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,371
Я думаю, это безумие.
15
00:00:45,616 --> 00:00:46,412
Ей понравится!
16
00:00:47,816 --> 00:00:50,410
- Спасибо.
- Спасибо. Держи.
17
00:00:53,496 --> 00:00:55,293
Ступай с яйцом, мой друг.
18
00:00:57,616 --> 00:00:59,891
Давай, давай, давай!
19
00:01:01,816 --> 00:01:04,933
- Думаешь сработает?
- Это самоубийство. Мужик с яйцом.
20
00:01:05,496 --> 00:01:07,532
Эпизод с шоколадными сердечками.
21
00:01:53,616 --> 00:01:55,607
- Тебе нельзя этого делать
- Что? Что делать?
22
00:01:55,856 --> 00:01:57,335
Роджер приглашает ее на свидание.
23
00:01:57,536 --> 00:02:00,448
Нeт! Фиби! Ты забыла, почему
ты бросила этого парня?
24
00:02:01,096 --> 00:02:02,529
Потому что он жутковатый.
25
00:02:03,496 --> 00:02:05,327
И вредный.
И немного пугающий.
26
00:02:05,576 --> 00:02:08,010
Но все-таки приятно пойти на свидание
в День Святого Валентина.
27
00:02:10,376 --> 00:02:12,890
Ты можешь пойти на свидание
с жутковатым парнем в любой день.
28
00:02:13,536 --> 00:02:14,764
Я, например, могу.
29
00:02:18,176 --> 00:02:19,734
Что ты делаешь завтра вечером?
30
00:02:19,936 --> 00:02:22,734
Вообще-то, завтрашний вечер зависит
от того, как пройдет сегодняшний.
31
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,366
- Послушай, насчет сегодня...
- Даже не думай!
32
00:02:26,616 --> 00:02:29,926
Она идет со мной только из-за того,
что я привожу парня для ее подруги.
33
00:02:30,136 --> 00:02:31,933
Но слова "ее подруга" подразумевают,
что это будет...
34
00:02:32,176 --> 00:02:34,292
Жалкое зрелище, я знаю, но...
35
00:02:34,816 --> 00:02:37,330
Ладно, мужик. Она несчастна,
она уязвима.
36
00:02:37,536 --> 00:02:39,128
Похоже на...
37
00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:44,646
Спасибо.
38
00:02:45,616 --> 00:02:49,211
Ты не был с женщиной со времен
Дженис. Ты идешь со мной.
39
00:02:52,176 --> 00:02:53,325
Она сказала "да".
40
00:02:54,016 --> 00:02:55,654
Так держать, чувак"
41
00:02:57,016 --> 00:02:58,927
Яйцо все еще у тебя?
42
00:03:11,896 --> 00:03:12,885
Как я выгляжу?
43
00:03:14,216 --> 00:03:15,535
Мне все равно.
44
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:20,451
Это Лорейн.
45
00:03:20,696 --> 00:03:22,368
Так, и меняться не будем.
46
00:03:22,616 --> 00:03:24,811
Ты берешь красавицу,
мне достается убожище.
47
00:03:29,616 --> 00:03:31,095
Так, так!
48
00:03:31,296 --> 00:03:32,854
Посмотрим, кого ты привел!
49
00:03:33,096 --> 00:03:34,495
Очень мило.
50
00:03:35,536 --> 00:03:37,367
А что привела ты?
51
00:03:39,016 --> 00:03:40,654
Она сдает пальто в гардероб.
52
00:03:40,896 --> 00:03:44,047
Я пойду в дамскую комнату
и смою запах такси со своих рук.
53
00:03:44,296 --> 00:03:47,925
Не возьмешь мне белого калифорнийского,
и бокал красного для Дженис?
54
00:03:52,616 --> 00:03:53,446
Дженис?
55
00:03:58,016 --> 00:03:59,165
Бог...
56
00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:00,565
ты...
57
00:04:00,816 --> 00:04:01,965
... мой!
58
00:04:05,816 --> 00:04:07,408
Надо же - Дженис!
59
00:04:13,816 --> 00:04:16,250
Я положу этому конец.
Я сбегу через окно.
60
00:04:16,496 --> 00:04:20,933
Нет, нет, пожалуйста! Я так долго
ждал этого свидания с Лорейн!
61
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,252
- Просто успокойся.
- Успокойся?
62
00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:27,330
Ты мне устроил свидание с женщиной, которую
я бросал дважды за последние пять месяцев.
63
00:04:28,576 --> 00:04:31,966
Ты можешь перестать орать?
Ты меня заставляешь нервничать...
64
00:04:35,216 --> 00:04:37,332
а когда я нервничаю, у меня не получается.
65
00:04:37,896 --> 00:04:39,932
Прости. Прости, ты прав.
66
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,733
Давай! Делай это,
делай это! Немедленно!
67
00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:51,925
Хорошо, может, Роджер и противный, но
он и рядом не стоял с Питом Карни.
68
00:04:52,176 --> 00:04:53,973
- Это кто?
- Пит-плакса?
69
00:04:54,216 --> 00:04:57,731
Помните парня, который плакал
каждый раз во время секса?
70
00:04:58,216 --> 00:05:00,605
"О, тебе было хорошо?"
71
00:05:02,656 --> 00:05:06,729
Ну, никакой плакса не переплюнет
Говарда, парня "Я выиграл".
72
00:05:06,936 --> 00:05:08,927
" Я выиграл! Я выиграл!"
73
00:05:10,296 --> 00:05:13,527
Я встречалась с ним 2 месяца.
И ни разу не дошла до выигрыша!
74
00:05:14,136 --> 00:05:17,367
Как бы нам избавится от этих придурков?
Мы же хорошие люди.
75
00:05:17,616 --> 00:05:20,335
Не знаю. Мне кажется,
что мы какие-то магниты.
76
00:05:20,576 --> 00:05:23,932
Я точно магнит. Поэтому и не могу
носить электронные часы.
77
00:05:26,816 --> 00:05:28,613
Выпила много пива?
78
00:05:30,616 --> 00:05:33,653
А вы помните мою подругу Эбби,
ту, что бреет голову?
79
00:05:35,176 --> 00:05:37,770
Она говорит, чтобы разорвать
кольцо парней-неудачников,
80
00:05:38,016 --> 00:05:40,211
нужно провести ритуал очищения.
81
00:05:42,816 --> 00:05:46,286
Фибс, эта девушка добровольно
стрижется наголо.
82
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:52,130
Давайте завтра вечером
его и проведем.
83
00:05:52,376 --> 00:05:54,128
На День Валентина.
Это идеальный день.
84
00:05:54,616 --> 00:05:56,652
Хорошо, что из себя представляет ритуал?
85
00:05:56,896 --> 00:06:00,775
Мы можем сжечь
их подарки.
86
00:06:01,816 --> 00:06:03,215
Или..?
87
00:06:03,456 --> 00:06:08,052
Или мы можем нараспев читать заклинания и
танцевать по кругу голышом, ну знаете, с метлами.
88
00:06:11,136 --> 00:06:12,205
Сжечь - это хорошо.
89
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,935
У меня есть что сжечь.
90
00:06:22,136 --> 00:06:23,012
Знаешь,
91
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:28,048
с детства я умею подбирать
монетки пальцами ног.
92
00:06:28,296 --> 00:06:29,206
Да?
93
00:06:29,616 --> 00:06:30,810
Молодец.
94
00:06:33,776 --> 00:06:36,609
Только монетки или стопки монеток?
95
00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:45,525
Кстати. Чэндлер, я вырезала
тебя со всех фотографий.
96
00:06:45,776 --> 00:06:49,086
Так что, если тебе нужно, у меня
есть целый пакет твоих голов.
97
00:06:50,776 --> 00:06:52,004
Нет, спасибо.
98
00:06:52,776 --> 00:06:56,246
Точно не хочешь? А то ты мог бы
наделать из них кукол,
99
00:06:56,496 --> 00:06:59,852
и использовать их в своем
Театре жестокости!
100
00:07:02,536 --> 00:07:03,935
Мы не можем этого делать!
101
00:07:05,016 --> 00:07:07,052
Что, что ты не можешь сделать?
102
00:07:10,176 --> 00:07:12,292
Можно тебя на секунду?
103
00:07:19,616 --> 00:07:21,174
Мы, наверное, сейчас уйдем.
104
00:07:22,296 --> 00:07:23,854
Надеюсь, "мы" - это ты и я.
105
00:07:25,296 --> 00:07:29,130
Она сказала, что хочет обмазать
меня чем-то и всего облобызать.
106
00:07:29,376 --> 00:07:31,936
Я даже не знаю, что такое "облобызать"!
107
00:07:32,496 --> 00:07:34,930
Но я определенно хочу в этом поучаствовать!
108
00:07:36,336 --> 00:07:38,850
Слушай, ты не можешь так поступить со мной.
109
00:07:40,216 --> 00:07:42,411
Ты прав. Прости. Ты прав.
110
00:07:42,616 --> 00:07:46,734
Дайте нам, пожалуйста, три
шоколадных мусса с собой.
111
00:07:47,496 --> 00:07:48,815
Я сваливаю.
112
00:07:50,696 --> 00:07:53,733
Держи кредитку. Ужин за мой счет.
113
00:07:54,296 --> 00:07:56,446
Надеюсь, она на тебя сблюет.
114
00:07:58,816 --> 00:07:59,805
Спасибо.
115
00:08:02,016 --> 00:08:02,846
И...
116
00:08:03,296 --> 00:08:04,695
только мы с тобой.
117
00:08:05,096 --> 00:08:07,246
Какой отвратительный вечер!
118
00:08:07,576 --> 00:08:11,535
По крайней мере я наслаждалась тем,
что у тебя торчит рубашка
119
00:08:11,776 --> 00:08:14,495
из ширинки с тех пор,
как ты вернулся из туалета.
120
00:08:19,536 --> 00:08:20,525
Прости.
121
00:08:23,896 --> 00:08:25,124
Как дела?
122
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:33,612
Так наши друзья - самые лучшие или как?
123
00:08:33,856 --> 00:08:36,086
Джоуи не друг. Он...
124
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:41,127
глупый человек, который
оставил нам свою кредитку.
125
00:08:42,776 --> 00:08:46,052
Выпьешь еще? Десерт?
Огромный телевизор?
126
00:08:46,376 --> 00:08:47,809
Я, пожалуй, выпью.
127
00:08:48,056 --> 00:08:49,535
Так держать. Девушка!
128
00:08:54,776 --> 00:08:57,131
Бутылку вашего самого почему-то настолько дорогого
шампанского!
129
00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:58,007
Каждому.
130
00:08:58,256 --> 00:08:59,530
Правильно. Каждому.
131
00:08:59,736 --> 00:09:01,010
И коктейль "Роб Рой".
132
00:09:02,096 --> 00:09:03,734
Всегда хотел узнать, что это такое.
133
00:09:21,216 --> 00:09:24,811
С Днем Валентина!
134
00:09:32,576 --> 00:09:35,295
О, я по тебе уже скучаю.
135
00:09:36,616 --> 00:09:38,254
Ты веришь, что это произошло?
136
00:09:38,496 --> 00:09:39,895
Нет, нет!
137
00:09:41,216 --> 00:09:42,695
Но все-таки это произошло.
138
00:09:43,576 --> 00:09:45,726
- Пока, Дженис.
- Поцелуй меня!
139
00:09:48,496 --> 00:09:49,770
Ой, Чэндлер, прости.
140
00:09:50,816 --> 00:09:53,171
Ой, Чэндлер, прости!
141
00:09:55,216 --> 00:09:56,171
Привет, Дженис.
142
00:09:56,416 --> 00:09:57,326
Привет, Моника.
143
00:09:57,536 --> 00:10:00,334
Ладно. Это было слишком неожиданно.
144
00:10:01,496 --> 00:10:04,294
Рэйч, иди-ка, посмотри кто тут у нас.
145
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:07,529
Что такое?
Боже мой!
146
00:10:07,736 --> 00:10:09,806
Дженис! Привет!
147
00:10:10,296 --> 00:10:12,856
Дженис уже уходит.
148
00:10:14,696 --> 00:10:15,731
Я сейчас вернусь.
149
00:10:17,736 --> 00:10:19,772
Джоуи! Посмотрите, кто тут у нас.
150
00:10:23,776 --> 00:10:25,255
Отлично! И Джоуи вернулся!
151
00:10:25,496 --> 00:10:27,726
Это так весело!
152
00:10:27,976 --> 00:10:30,854
Это как воссоединение в коридоре!
153
00:10:32,896 --> 00:10:35,854
Привет, Росс. Тут у нас кто-то есть,
я хочу, чтобы ты поздоровался.
154
00:10:38,136 --> 00:10:39,410
Он как раз позвонил.
155
00:10:39,656 --> 00:10:43,934
Привет, Росс. Да, это так!
Это я! А как ты догадался?
156
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:53,365
Я просто говорю, что если у собак
организм тоже сбивается от перелетов, то
157
00:10:53,616 --> 00:10:57,734
из-за того, что один год человеческой жизни
равен семи годам собачьей,
158
00:10:57,976 --> 00:11:01,127
когда собака летит из
Нью-Йорка в Лос-Анджелес,
159
00:11:01,336 --> 00:11:05,329
она теряет не 3 часа, а
полторы недели!
160
00:11:08,576 --> 00:11:09,691
Забавно!
161
00:11:26,776 --> 00:11:27,845
Кто это?
162
00:11:28,176 --> 00:11:30,246
Блондинка - моя бывшая жена.
163
00:11:30,496 --> 00:11:33,408
А женщина, которая ее трогает, это ее..
164
00:11:33,816 --> 00:11:35,727
очень близкая подруга.
165
00:11:38,216 --> 00:11:39,854
То есть, они любовники?
166
00:11:40,096 --> 00:11:42,087
Ну, если тебе так хочется приклеить ярлык.
167
00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:48,214
- Что-то еще, что я должна знать?
- Не-а. Это все.
168
00:11:49,696 --> 00:11:51,926
А, да - еще она беременна от меня.
169
00:11:55,736 --> 00:11:57,727
Вечно забываю про это.
170
00:11:59,816 --> 00:12:00,805
Привет!
171
00:12:07,096 --> 00:12:11,806
Так. Теперь нам нужны веточки
полыни и ритуальное вино.
172
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,011
У меня есть только орегано и содовая.
173
00:12:17,016 --> 00:12:17,971
Сойдет.
174
00:12:22,896 --> 00:12:26,047
Хорошо. Теперь нам нужно семя
благочестивого мужа.
175
00:12:31,616 --> 00:12:35,848
Если бы оно у нас было, мы бы тогда
вообще не стали проводить этот ритуал.
176
00:12:37,496 --> 00:12:39,327
Может, уже начнем что-нибудь туда бросать?
177
00:12:39,576 --> 00:12:40,804
А, хорошо!
178
00:12:44,336 --> 00:12:45,849
Так. Письма Барри.
179
00:12:47,216 --> 00:12:49,730
Трусы Адама Риттера.
180
00:12:49,976 --> 00:12:53,855
А вот у меня чек
за ужин с...
181
00:12:57,816 --> 00:13:00,967
- Фотка Скотти Джареда! Голого!
- Дай посмотреть!
182
00:13:01,336 --> 00:13:03,008
Он в свитере.
183
00:13:08,416 --> 00:13:12,045
Ладно, а вот тут остатки
граппы Паоло.
184
00:13:12,296 --> 00:13:13,695
Подожди! Это же почти чистый...
185
00:13:18,816 --> 00:13:21,455
Как я могу бросить эту женщину в
Валентинов день?
186
00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:24,527
Не знаю. Бросил же ты ее
в Новый год.
187
00:13:26,616 --> 00:13:30,325
О боже! В следующей жизни я
буду ершиком для унитаза.
188
00:13:32,096 --> 00:13:34,485
Привет, смешной валентинчик!
189
00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:37,134
Привет, просто Дженис.
190
00:13:38,096 --> 00:13:40,451
Привет, Джоуи, наш милый сводник.
191
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:44,132
Я бы тебя всего расцеловала
и прямо так сейчас и сделаю!
192
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,814
Если ты этого не сделаешь,
сделаю я.
193
00:14:03,136 --> 00:14:06,208
Чем ты зарабатываешь себе на жизнь?
194
00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:09,010
Последние несколько
лет я...
195
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:11,776
Ты же сказала, они могут
обойтись без тебя.
196
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:12,931
Я думала, что могут!
197
00:14:13,176 --> 00:14:16,327
...работала с детьми, что приносит
большое удовлетворение.
198
00:14:16,576 --> 00:14:19,648
Я вернусь, как только смогу.
Извини.
199
00:14:19,896 --> 00:14:23,047
И большую часть времени
я преподаю естествознание...
200
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,891
что забавно, потому что это
даже не моя специализация.
201
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:40,334
И правда забавно!
202
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:44,685
Э-э-э... послушай,
203
00:14:45,096 --> 00:14:48,725
если я приглашу к нам Кэрол,
это не будет слишком странно?
204
00:14:48,976 --> 00:14:50,967
Потому что она сейчас одинока.
205
00:14:51,496 --> 00:14:53,214
И беременна. И печальна.
206
00:14:54,416 --> 00:14:55,735
- Ну, наверное.
- Правда?
207
00:14:55,976 --> 00:14:57,329
Спасибо. Кэрол!
208
00:14:58,216 --> 00:14:59,729
Садись к нам!
209
00:14:59,936 --> 00:15:01,130
О, нет-нет. Все нормально.
210
00:15:01,376 --> 00:15:04,334
Да ладно, вставай.
Эти люди подвинутся.
211
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:07,608
Иди сюда.
Вы же подвинетесь?
212
00:15:07,936 --> 00:15:10,734
Давайте, двигайтесь! Ну же!
213
00:15:10,936 --> 00:15:12,972
- Давай.
- Спасибо.
214
00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:17,974
Кристен Риггс, это Кэрол Уиллик.
215
00:15:18,216 --> 00:15:19,126
Кэрол, это Кристен.
216
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:20,928
Здравствуйте.
217
00:15:21,176 --> 00:15:22,973
Кэрол учительница в шестых классах.
218
00:15:23,376 --> 00:15:25,606
А Кристен...
219
00:15:28,816 --> 00:15:31,046
Кристен занимается чем-то.
220
00:15:32,536 --> 00:15:34,174
Смешно, но это даже
221
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,335
не ее специализация!
222
00:15:41,496 --> 00:15:42,895
И что у нас тут такое?
223
00:15:44,016 --> 00:15:46,007
Кусок шелковых трусов,
224
00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:48,174
несколько поздравительных открыток,
225
00:15:48,816 --> 00:15:51,694
что-то похожее на
обгоревшую фотографию...
226
00:15:52,336 --> 00:15:54,725
Ух ты! Да этот парень
волосатее нашего шефа!
227
00:15:58,216 --> 00:16:01,413
Знаете, действительно
все так смешно получилось.
228
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:03,328
Все в порядке. Не надо объяснений.
229
00:16:03,536 --> 00:16:06,528
Это не первый костер из вещей парней,
который вышел из-под контроля.
230
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,331
- Это уже наш третий вызов за сегодняшний вечер.
- Правда?
231
00:16:11,576 --> 00:16:14,534
Конечно. В День Св. Валентина
у нас больше всего вызовов.
232
00:16:17,896 --> 00:16:19,375
У меня есть кое-что для тебя.
233
00:16:19,576 --> 00:16:21,009
Он заряжен?
234
00:16:24,976 --> 00:16:27,046
Ух ты, шоколадные сердечки!
235
00:16:28,416 --> 00:16:30,930
"Чэн и Джен навеки!"
236
00:16:31,336 --> 00:16:33,372
Я специально их заказала.
237
00:16:37,016 --> 00:16:38,210
Ну ладно, Дженис.
238
00:16:39,296 --> 00:16:40,251
Дженис.
239
00:16:41,816 --> 00:16:42,885
Эй, Дженис.
240
00:16:46,016 --> 00:16:48,132
Даже не знаю, как
тебе это сказать.
241
00:16:48,376 --> 00:16:50,810
По крайней мере, не знаю,
как это сказать по-новому.
242
00:16:53,816 --> 00:16:56,489
Просто я думаю, что у нас
ничего не получится.
243
00:16:59,096 --> 00:17:00,245
Ну и замечательно.
244
00:17:04,016 --> 00:17:05,529
Да?
245
00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:09,212
Потому что я знаю,
что еще не все кончено.
246
00:17:11,216 --> 00:17:13,571
Нет-нет, вообще-то все.
247
00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:16,535
Не-а. Потому что ты
не допустишь этого.
248
00:17:16,776 --> 00:17:18,175
Ты этого еще не понял?
249
00:17:18,416 --> 00:17:21,453
Ты любишь меня, Чэндлер Бинг!
250
00:17:25,496 --> 00:17:27,009
Нет, не люблю.
251
00:17:27,736 --> 00:17:30,375
Тогда объясни мне, почему мы
все время оказываемся вместе?
252
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,368
На Новый год - кто кого пригласил?
253
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:35,369
На День Св. Валентина -
кто кого затащил в постель?
254
00:17:35,616 --> 00:17:36,446
Я, но--
255
00:17:36,696 --> 00:17:37,924
Ты постоянно ищешь меня!
256
00:17:38,176 --> 00:17:43,091
Что-то в глубине твоей души
призывает меня как свет маяка!
257
00:17:43,416 --> 00:17:47,045
Дженис! Дженис!
258
00:17:47,336 --> 00:17:49,531
Я тебе на самом деле нужна!
259
00:17:49,816 --> 00:17:52,853
Ты жить без меня не можешь!
260
00:17:53,176 --> 00:17:54,655
И ты это знаешь!
261
00:17:55,016 --> 00:17:58,725
Ты просто не осознаешь, что ты это знаешь.
262
00:18:02,976 --> 00:18:04,011
До встречи.
263
00:18:10,696 --> 00:18:11,845
Позвони мне!
264
00:18:20,096 --> 00:18:23,930
Это неправда. Я никогда не называл
твою маму росомахой.
265
00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:26,570
Называл. Клянусь.
Клянусь --
266
00:18:30,336 --> 00:18:32,611
Что она так долго делает в туалете?
267
00:18:33,496 --> 00:18:36,533
Мне кажется, она не в туалете.
Ее пальто нет.
268
00:18:36,856 --> 00:18:38,767
Ну, может быть там холодно.
269
00:18:41,096 --> 00:18:44,133
А может быть, я испортил свое
единственное свидание за последние 9 лет.
270
00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:46,765
- Может быть.
- О, Господи.
271
00:18:48,016 --> 00:18:50,325
Знаешь, а вот это еще довольно горячее.
272
00:18:54,896 --> 00:18:55,931
Это гриб.
273
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,371
Улыбнись.
274
00:18:59,376 --> 00:19:03,130
Не все будут такими.
Некоторые даже досидят до конца ужина.
275
00:19:03,936 --> 00:19:06,496
- Прости, это не смешно.
- Да нет, просто...
276
00:19:07,216 --> 00:19:10,572
Знаешь, насчет того, чтобы
продолжать жить своей жизнью.
277
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,772
А я должна это знать?
278
00:19:13,216 --> 00:19:17,846
Я имею в виду, вот я сижу здесь
с этой милой женщиной...
279
00:19:18,096 --> 00:19:20,052
...и она замечательная,
понимаешь?
280
00:19:20,296 --> 00:19:22,093
Но в общем-то...
281
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,405
Это и все.
282
00:19:25,416 --> 00:19:30,126
А потом я разговариваю с тобой,
и это получается легко и весело.
283
00:19:30,376 --> 00:19:32,731
И мне не нужно..
284
00:19:33,136 --> 00:19:34,649
- Я знаю.
- Знаешь?
285
00:19:38,616 --> 00:19:40,527
У меня возникла сумасшедшая идея.
286
00:19:41,816 --> 00:19:44,728
А что, если мы с тобой дадим
себе еще одну попытку.
287
00:19:45,656 --> 00:19:47,806
Я знаю, что ты собираешься сказать.
Что ты лесбиянка.
288
00:19:49,936 --> 00:19:54,532
Давай на какое-то время
об этом забудем, понимаешь?
289
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:57,165
Давай приколем это булавкой
и положим вот сюда.
290
00:19:57,416 --> 00:20:00,169
Потому что нам хорошо
друг с другом, правильно?
291
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:02,372
Ты не можешь отрицать этого.
292
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:05,651
И, между прочим, ты носишь моего ребенка.
293
00:20:05,896 --> 00:20:08,535
В смысле, разве можно представить
более идеальную ситуацию?
294
00:20:08,776 --> 00:20:11,734
Ты все время говоришь об этом,
но ведь есть что-то еще.
295
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:12,732
Я тебя люблю.
296
00:20:20,696 --> 00:20:22,368
Я тоже тебя люблю.
297
00:20:23,936 --> 00:20:25,574
- Но...
- Не надо никаких "но", без "но".
298
00:20:27,496 --> 00:20:30,533
Ты помнишь об этой
штучке с булавкой?
299
00:20:33,336 --> 00:20:35,804
Пора вынимать булавку.
300
00:20:42,016 --> 00:20:45,770
Ты найдешь свою женщину, я точно знаю.
Твоя женщина где-то ждет тебя.
301
00:20:46,016 --> 00:20:48,735
Тебе легко говорить.
Свою-то ты уже нашла.
302
00:20:51,136 --> 00:20:53,889
Тебе нужна женщина, которой нравятся
мужчины, и все будет в порядке.
303
00:20:57,976 --> 00:20:59,125
Не эта.
304
00:21:09,896 --> 00:21:12,729
Наша смена заканчивается около полуночи.
Может, где-то в это время мы за вами заедем?
305
00:21:14,616 --> 00:21:17,130
А, так вы приедете на пожарной машине?
306
00:21:19,536 --> 00:21:21,527
Я даже позволю тебе погудеть.
307
00:21:22,096 --> 00:21:24,929
- Ладно, до скорого.
- Пока! Увидимся!
308
00:21:25,136 --> 00:21:26,774
Спасибо. Пока.
309
00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:28,210
Бог ты мой!
310
00:21:29,296 --> 00:21:30,934
Ну вот, видишь!
311
00:21:31,176 --> 00:21:33,451
- Ритуал сработал.
- Это точно!
312
00:21:33,696 --> 00:21:35,095
Они хорошие ребята!
313
00:21:35,496 --> 00:21:37,612
Не просто ребята, а пожарники!
314
00:21:39,176 --> 00:21:40,768
- Вы сказали им, что женаты?
- Ни в коем случае!
315
00:21:41,016 --> 00:21:43,735
Шутишь? Даже моя девушка об этом не знает.
А уж им-то я точно не скажу!
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