1
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:09,308
Slow down! The will not be
sold out at 1:00 in the morning.
2
00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:12,102
I'm excited!
I've never got reviewed before!
3
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:15,872
You were so amazing as the king!
I'm really impressed.
4
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:17,309
Although you know what?
5
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:20,018
You might wanna concider wear
underwear next time.
6
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:23,953
When you sat on the throne,
you could see your...
7
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,782
...royal subjects.
8
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,590
Come on, no one wear
underwear back then.
9
00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:31,289
I am sure the critic will
appreciate your authority.
10
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:34,323
Nice gender, by the way!
11
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:36,335
Thanks man!
12
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:37,529
Here it is! Here it is!
13
00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:41,663
"The only thing worse than
the mindless adolescent direction...
14
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:46,776
...was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly
unskilled portrayal of the king."
15
00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,442
Okay, look.
That is one guy's opinion.
16
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,276
All right?
Pheebs, read yours.
17
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:56,114
"The only thing worse than
the mindless, adolescent direction"
18
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,324
Anybody have one
from a different paper?
19
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:01,153
Ross, read yours.
20
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,193
I don't want to.
21
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,222
The only enjoyable moment...
22
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:10,131
...was when the king has been
hanged and he can speak no more.
23
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:14,370
Joey, they don't know
what they're talking about.
24
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:15,873
Maybe they do.
25
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:20,236
I've done this 10 years and I'm
nowhere. There's gotta be a reason.
26
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:22,811
Come on, you're just
paying your dues.
27
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,074
No, no, no. It's too hard.
28
00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:27,251
It's not worth it. I quit.
29
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,680
Come on, Joey!
30
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:31,287
Wait, wait one minute.
Wait a minute.
31
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:34,219
I believe this will change your mind.
32
00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:39,157
"In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani
achieved brilliant levels of
33
00:01:39,532 --> 00:01:41,557
Continued on page 153.
34
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:43,561
Sucking."
35
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:49,041
The One With Russ
36
00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:32,813
It there anything else
you ever wanna to be?
37
00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:36,822
I used to want to be a vet.
38
00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:40,457
Then I found out you have
to put your hands into cows.
39
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:46,799
Are you okay?
40
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:49,728
Just a tough day at work, you know?
41
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,198
Stegosaurus fell over, trapped a kid.
42
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,871
I know this jacket.
This is Fun Bobby's jacket!
43
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,204
Where is he?
He's here, isn't he?
44
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,208
- Maybe.
- Don't toy with me.
45
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:03,511
Geller!
46
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,342
Hey, Fun Bobby!
47
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,449
Hey! You been working out?
48
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:08,687
Not at all.
49
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,389
I love this guy!
50
00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:14,223
I'm so excited to hear
you're back with my sister.
51
00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,553
- You and me both!
- So what'd I miss?
52
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:19,161
We were trying
to make Joey feel better.
53
00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,196
Need me to pick you up?
54
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:23,201
No, I'm all right, man.
55
00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:24,733
No, I'm picking you up!
56
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,233
No, seriously.
I don't need you to
57
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:31,238
It still works!
58
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,604
Before I go, does anybody else
need to be picked up?
59
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,380
I'm still gonna go.
60
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:39,648
See you later, babe.
61
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:45,554
Public display of affection coming up.
You can avert your eyes.
62
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:53,762
See you.
63
00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:57,026
Fun Bobby is so great.
64
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:58,362
Oh, isn't he?
65
00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:03,268
I think this time it may work with him.
He makes me feel so good.
66
00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:06,808
I've been feeling so lousy lately.
No job, no boyfriend.
67
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,310
Well, at least my cup is half full.
68
00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:12,074
Half full of love!
69
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:18,351
For our two-week anniversary,
he's taking me to his cousin's cabin.
70
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,559
Cabin of love!
71
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,959
We went through
a lot of wine tonight.
72
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,459
I only had two glasses.
73
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:27,722
I had a glass.
74
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:28,831
Two.
75
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:29,932
I had one glass.
76
00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:31,500
I had a mug full in this...
77
00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:34,796
...I-got-boned-at-the-
Museum-of-Natural-History mug.
78
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,244
Okay, so that's what?
Two bottles.
79
00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:41,912
And yet somehow we went through five?
80
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,789
So what?
So he drank a lot tonight.
81
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,698
Now that I think about it,
I don't think...
82
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,764
...I've ever seen Fun
Bobby without a drink.
83
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:09,167
And did you notice how
he always starts his stories with...
84
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:14,108
..."Okay, I was so wasted!"
Or "Oh, we were so bombed!"
85
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:17,248
"So I wake up and I'm in
this dumpster in Connecticut!"
86
00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:22,148
Have you been with him
when he wasn't drinking?
87
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:26,085
We just happen to go to a lot
of places where you might drink.
88
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,489
How do you go to a wine-tasting
without having a drink?
89
00:05:29,962 --> 00:05:32,328
Or to a club, or to the...
90
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:33,859
...zoo.
91
00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:40,896
Rach, does this have nonfat milk?
92
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:43,732
I don't know, taste it.
93
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,545
Too late, you already had some.
94
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,216
What do you say
we make these coffees Irish?
95
00:05:59,992 --> 00:06:00,981
Cake!
96
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,955
Yeah, we're gonna get some cake.
97
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:11,560
It seems like you've been making
an awful lot of stuff "Irish" lately.
98
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:16,171
I'd make them Belgian, but the waffles
are hard to get into that flask.
99
00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:19,266
Yeah, okay.
100
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:24,242
Maybe it's none of my business.
Or maybe it is, I don't know.
101
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,412
I'm worried about you.
102
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:31,889
This isn't the first time somebody
said something to me about this.
103
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:35,754
But I always made excuses,
like "I'm just a social drinker."
104
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,496
Or "Come on, it's Flag Day!"
105
00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:42,429
So, what are you saying now?
106
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,800
I guess I'm saying...
107
00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:47,436
...I'll try and quit.
108
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,803
I like that you worry about me.
109
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,447
So, what's going on?
110
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,008
I am gonna try and quit drinking.
111
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,741
Oh! Why?
112
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,359
Guess who's back in show biz!
113
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:10,728
Lorne Greene?
114
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:15,592
No. You know why?
Because he's dead.
115
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,096
Oh, no.
116
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:21,469
This is gonna seem bittersweet now...
117
00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:23,732
...but Joey, that's who!
118
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:28,078
My agent called with an audition
for Days Of Our Lives!
119
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:29,677
Kick ass!
120
00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:41,958
We have to celebrate!
We should do a soap opera theme.
121
00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:45,628
We could all sleep together,
then one of us could get amnesia!
122
00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:52,598
When do you get off?
We'll do something tonight.
123
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:57,170
Well, actually, I'm already done.
But I kind of got plans.
124
00:07:58,344 --> 00:07:59,834
You have other friends?
125
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:03,814
I have a date.
126
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:04,846
What?
127
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,018
With a man?
128
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,421
No, with Crule John.
129
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:15,654
What's so strange
about me having a date?
130
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:16,854
With Crule John.
131
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:20,292
What about Ross?
132
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:23,034
You're still mad
because he made that list?
133
00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:25,669
No, no, I'm not mad at him.
134
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:28,430
I'm not really "anything"
at him anymore.
135
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,174
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know.
136
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:35,340
Whatever I was feeling, I'm...
137
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:36,411
...not.
138
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,241
But you guys came so close.
139
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,510
I'm sorry. You'll have
to get used to the fact...
140
00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:43,813
...that I will not be dating Ross.
141
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:46,916
Here he is.
142
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,758
Guys, this is Russ.
143
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:16,048
I'm not saying you're not talented.
You're very talented.
144
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:20,257
But with the bird dead and all,
there's very little act left.
145
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:23,124
Honey, give me a break, will you?
146
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:24,693
I'll talk to you later.
147
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,728
There's my favorite client!
148
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,558
So tell me, darling,
how was the audition?
149
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:33,804
I think it went well.
I got a callback for Thursday.
150
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:37,065
Joey! Have you ever
seen me ecstatic?
151
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,068
Well, here it is.
152
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:48,251
Okay! Listen, there's something
I want to talk to you about.
153
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:49,511
The casting lady
154
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:51,757
Oh, isn't Lori a doll?
155
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:52,955
She's great.
156
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:59,094
But I kind of got the feeling that
she was sort of coming on to me.
157
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:03,732
And I definitely would get the part
if I were to, you know...
158
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:10,534
If I sent the little general in.
159
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,778
I see! Well, I'm just gonna
put in a call here...
160
00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:20,543
...and we'll find out what's going on
and straighten it out.
161
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:23,087
Lori, please.
162
00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:26,952
Hi, darling!
163
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:30,261
How about Joey Tribbiani
for the part of the cab driver?
164
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,191
Isn't he terrific?
165
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,701
Okay, doll, talk to you later.
166
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,330
You're gonna have to sleep with her.
167
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,275
- What's the matter?
- Fun Bobby.
168
00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:48,810
What? Isn't he sober?
169
00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:50,413
Oh, he's sober all right.
170
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:53,310
Turns out that Fun Bobby
was fun for a reason.
171
00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:00,587
All right, here you go, sweetie.
172
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:03,928
Thanks. You wanna
hear something funny?
173
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,754
Oh, God, yes!
174
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:11,800
There are no hardware stores open
past midnight in the Village.
175
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,431
That is funny.
176
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:22,343
I needed to buy a hammer and I'm out
walking around the neighborhood.
177
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:27,284
And I am walking, and I am
walking, and I am walking
178
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,686
So you are saying you are walking
179
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:31,882
But apparently...
180
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:37,057
...there are no hardware stores open
past midnight in the Village.
181
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:44,102
So it's help for fat...
182
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,104
...as well as funny.
183
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:53,737
Don't you have to
be at your interview?
184
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:54,675
Oh, yeah.
185
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,142
See you guys.
186
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,249
Bye...
187
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,145
...ridiculously dull Bobby.
188
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:05,954
Oh, my God.
189
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:07,454
He's not that bad.
190
00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:11,629
Not that bad?
Did you not hear the hammer story?
191
00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:13,991
Okay, don't get all squinky.
192
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,532
Maybe it's the kind of story
where you had to be there.
193
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,136
But I'm gonna be there!
194
00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:22,704
For the rest of my life.
195
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:27,837
I can't dump him. I made him
quit drinking. I made him dull!
196
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,240
Don't say that.
197
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:32,780
He's probably always been dull.
You just, you know...
198
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,314
...set it free.
199
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:37,685
Hey, Ross.
200
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:41,291
Hi, Russ.
201
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:44,654
I've got two more tables
to clean, and then we'll go.
202
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:47,127
I'll just sit here and...
203
00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:49,431
...chat with your...
204
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:53,428
...friend-type people.
205
00:12:58,878 --> 00:12:59,708
Rachel?
206
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:04,209
So, you know what
you're doing, right?
207
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:06,110
Waitressing?
208
00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:08,853
Well, yeah. But, no.
I mean...
209
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:12,590
Doesn't Russ just
remind you of someone?
210
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:15,720
Bob Saget?
211
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:17,226
Oh, yeah!
212
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,122
No, no, no!
213
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,493
Oh, my, oh!
214
00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:24,298
What's wrong?
215
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:27,433
She's upset because...
216
00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:30,608
...she buttered a spider
into her toast this morning.
217
00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:33,637
All right.
218
00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:38,473
Listen, Pheebs.
This is gonna be okay.
219
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:40,918
Ross, Russ.
Russ, Ross.
220
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,115
Are you a friend of Rachel's?
221
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:48,383
Yes. Yes, I am.
222
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:51,221
Are you a friend of Rachel's?
223
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:54,330
Actually, I'm kind of a...
224
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,759
...you know...
225
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,860
...a date-type thing...
226
00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:00,368
...of Rachel's.
227
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:02,669
A date?
228
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:04,469
I'm her date.
229
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:06,473
Oh! Oh, you're a...
230
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:09,272
Oh, you're the date.
231
00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:10,976
This is actually good...
232
00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:13,845
...because if we lose Ross,
we have a spare.
233
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,345
Oh! You are the paleontologist.
234
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,983
Yes. Yes, I am.
And you are a...
235
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:23,858
Periodontist.
236
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:27,199
See? Now they're as
different as night and...
237
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,567
...later that night.
238
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:33,764
Well, I am going to get a beverage.
239
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:36,031
It was nice meeting you.
240
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,242
Ditto.
241
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:44,878
Well, I met Russ.
242
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:50,383
Hey, I didn't know
we were seeing other people.
243
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,825
Well, we're not
seeing each other, so...
244
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:57,527
For your information,
there's a woman at the museum...
245
00:14:57,763 --> 00:15:00,698
...who's curator of moths and other...
246
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:02,897
...winged things...
247
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:09,332
...who's let it be known that
she is drawn to me, much like a...
248
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,371
...you know.
249
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:14,775
I've kept her at bay,
but if this is the deal
250
00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:16,241
This is the deal.
251
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,416
Okay, well, have a nice evening.
252
00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:20,648
Russ, you ready?
253
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,360
She's dating?
254
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:31,051
She's dating?
255
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:34,357
Yes, but did you see
who she was dating?
256
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,097
What do you mean?
257
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,464
- Do you not see it?
- See what?
258
00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:41,467
I don't know what she sees
in that goober!
259
00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:47,369
It takes him, what?
Like, I don't know...
260
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:50,046
...hello, a week
to get out a sentence?
261
00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:52,547
It's annoying, isn't it?
262
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,562
You didn't get the part...
263
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,169
...or Italy called
and said it was hungry?
264
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:15,904
The part's mine if I want it.
265
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:17,439
Oh, my God!
266
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:20,405
If I'm willing to sleep
with the casting lady.
267
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:21,839
Oh, my...
268
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,207
...God?
269
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:28,147
Ten years I've been waiting
for a break like this. Ten years!
270
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:32,049
I mean, Days of our Lives.
That's actually on television!
271
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:34,424
What are you gonna do?
272
00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:37,093
I guess I could sleep with her.
I mean...
273
00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:38,727
How can I do that?
274
00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:42,797
I've got a pop-up book that told me
everything I need to know.
275
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,762
I've never slept
with someone for a part.
276
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,131
Well, is she
277
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:50,440
Sorry.
278
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,605
Is she good-looking?
279
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:57,109
She's totally good-looking.
If I met her in a bar...
280
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:59,611
...I'd be buying her breakfast.
281
00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:03,350
After having slept with her.
282
00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:11,188
Maybe this isn't such a big deal.
283
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:16,333
The way that I see it is, you get a
great job, and you get to have sex!
284
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:20,138
Throw in a tree and a fat guy,
and you've got Christmas!
285
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:27,808
I just don't think that
I want it that way, though.
286
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,481
I mean, let's say
I do make it, all right?
287
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:34,879
I'll always look back and wonder
if it was because of my talent or...
288
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:36,951
...you know, the little general.
289
00:17:39,691 --> 00:17:42,592
Didn't you used to call it
"the little major"?
290
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:45,295
After Denise DeMarco,
I had to promote it.
291
00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:52,826
Something from the bar?
292
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,801
Yes, I would like something.
293
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,899
No. No, thank you.
294
00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:01,840
If you wanna drink, it's okay with me.
I've gotta get used to it.
295
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,777
No, no, really.
I wouldn't feel right about it.
296
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:06,515
Just some water, please.
297
00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:10,778
- So my refrigerator light's out.
- Scotch on the rocks with a twist!
298
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:16,124
We're having some fun now, huh, Ross?
299
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,692
Wanna do another one?
Huh, Russ?
300
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,062
Eleven letters...
301
00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:27,130
...atomic element number 101,
ends in "ium."
302
00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:28,404
Dysprosium.
303
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:30,471
Dysprosium.
304
00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:32,175
Try mendelevium.
305
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,637
And weenie number two has it.
306
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:39,178
Unless "Knights in White Satin"
was sung by the Doody Blues.
307
00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:45,679
You don't see it?
You actually don't see it?
308
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:46,788
What?
309
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,123
Honey, you're dating Ross.
310
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,022
No, Pheebs, I'm dating Russ.
311
00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:53,697
Russ is Ross. Russ, Ross.
312
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:55,331
Steve, sleeve.
313
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,030
No one is named sleeve.
314
00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:00,769
What are you talking about?
315
00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:05,066
Other than their names being similar,
I do not see what you're seeing.
316
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,937
For your information...
317
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:09,442
...it's a card sharp,
not a card shark.
318
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,205
You could not be more wrong.
319
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:13,985
You could try,
but you would not be successful.
320
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:19,152
I'm gonna get some more coffee before
the pinching and eye-poking begins.
321
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,253
I know your problem.
322
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:23,721
Oh, you do, do you?
323
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,259
You're jealous.
324
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,567
Of what?
325
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,268
You're jealous
because I'm a real doctor.
326
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,102
Hey, you're a doctor of gums.
327
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,809
That's the smallest body part
you can major in.
328
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:43,004
Day one, floss.
Day two, here's your diploma.
329
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:44,237
You listen here
330
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:46,313
- Let me finish.
- No, let me finish.
331
00:19:46,552 --> 00:19:48,486
No, you let me fin
332
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,495
Did Joey say what he was gonna do?
333
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:06,569
I don't even think he knew.
334
00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:09,363
Would you sleep with somebody
to get a great job?
335
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,073
Who would I have to sleep with?
336
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:13,368
Me.
337
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:17,673
Why with you?
338
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,113
It's my game.
You want the job or not?
339
00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:24,686
Good morning.
340
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,048
Where you going?
341
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:29,294
Bobby and I are going away
for the weekend. Remember?
342
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:32,220
What's with all the liquor?
343
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:42,638
What's going on?
Is Bobby drinking again?
344
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:45,307
This is not for him.
This is for me.
345
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:50,441
That way, he's sober but his
shoelace stories are more amusing.
346
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:58,381
God! Even his knock is boring!
347
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:04,256
- I'll be ready in a second.
- Could I talk to you?
348
00:21:04,496 --> 00:21:05,292
Sure.
349
00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:08,960
This is hard for me to say.
350
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,963
You fell off the wagon!
351
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,329
Oh, no, no.
352
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:13,768
It's about you.
353
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:15,497
What about me?
354
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,303
I think you may have
a drinking problem.
355
00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:22,907
What, these?
356
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:26,409
No, these are for cuts and scrapes.
357
00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:31,780
Look, I'm not strong enough to be
in a codependent relationship.
358
00:21:33,191 --> 00:21:34,556
Oh, shoot.
359
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:40,230
Well, anyway,
I hope we can be friends.
360
00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:45,666
Take care.
361
00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:48,338
- You too.
- Goodbye.
362
00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:52,935
What happened?
363
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,172
We kind of broke up.
364
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:04,821
Does anybody want these?
365
00:22:05,123 --> 00:22:06,283
I'll take one.
366
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,727
Sometimes I hold stuff like this
and pretend I'm a giant.
367
00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:18,062
How'd the callback go?
368
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:22,034
It was unbelievable. I walked
in there and she was all over me.
369
00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:24,333
- What did you do?
- I couldn't do it.
370
00:22:24,576 --> 00:22:26,407
I didn't want the part that way.
371
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:27,474
Good for you!
372
00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:29,237
But wait!
I left her office...
373
00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:33,541
...and she caught up with me
and offered me a bigger part.
374
00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:34,883
So, and?
375
00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:41,048
So, you are now looking at
Dr. Drake Ramoray, neurosurgeon...
376
00:22:41,326 --> 00:22:43,851
...recurring in
at least four episodes!
377
00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:46,960
All right, I gotta go shower.
378
00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:05,614
I guess you guys heard
Rachel dumped me.
379
00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:07,283
Yeah, I'm sorry, man.
380
00:23:08,019 --> 00:23:10,283
She said I remind her
too much of somebody.
381
00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:12,319
Any idea who
she's talking about?
382
00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:16,920
Oh, I do. It's Bob Saget.
383
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,421
She hates him.
384
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:23,192
Hey, Julie!
385
00:23:23,535 --> 00:23:25,025
How are you doing?
386
00:23:25,270 --> 00:23:28,398
I don't know. It's weird
not being with Ross...
387
00:23:28,673 --> 00:23:30,732
...but I guess I'm doing okay.
388
00:23:31,042 --> 00:23:33,806
Actually, I've got some
of his stuff that he...
389
00:23:41,987 --> 00:23:44,353
- Have we met?
- I don't think so.
390
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:45,947
You look so familiar.
391
00:23:47,793 --> 00:23:52,457
May be we can talk about it
over a cup of coffee.
392
00:23:52,531 --> 00:23:57,491
You know what I'm sick of coffe.
Let's go and get some juice.
393
00:23:58,036 --> 00:24:02,700
All right! Bye!
|
1
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:10,000
Джоуи, уймись! Газеты не продают
в час ночи.
2
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,680
Мне интересно!
Обо мне никогда ещё не писали в обзоре!
3
00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:16,320
Ты был прекрасным королём!
Я очень восхищена.
4
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:17,720
Но знаешь что?
5
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,640
Тебе следовало бы всё-таки
носить нижнее бельё в другой раз.
6
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,120
Когда ты восседал на троне,
было видно твоё ...
7
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,800
... королевское достоинство.
8
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,000
Вот оно! Вот оно!
9
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,640
"Единственное, что было хуже
безумной, неуклюжей режиссуры...
10
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:37,720
... так это неумелое изображение
короля, вымученное Джозефом Трибиани".
11
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,080
Так, слушай.
Это мнение лишь одого человека.
12
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,800
Понятно?
Фибс, читай своё.
13
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,480
"Единственное, что было хуже
безумной, неуклюжей режиссуры..."
14
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:50,160
У кого-нибудь есть другая
газета?
15
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:51,720
Росс, читай свою.
16
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,760
Я не хочу.
17
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,280
Джоуи, они же не знают,
о чём сами говорят.
18
00:00:58,520 --> 00:00:59,520
А может, знают.
19
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:03,880
Я занимаюсь этим уже 10 лет, но так
и не достиг ничего. Это не спроста.
20
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,180
Да брось, ты прото хандришь.
21
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,460
Нет, нет, нет.
Это слишком тяжело.
22
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,500
Хватит уже.
Я прекращаю.
23
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:11,800
Да брось, Джоуи!
24
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,420
Погодите, погодите минутку.
Погодите минутку.
25
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,120
Я думаю, это переменит
твой настрой.
26
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:22,120
"В посредственной пьесе, Джозеф
Трибиани достиг блестящих вершин ...
27
00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:24,680
продолжение на стр. 153.
28
00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:27,300
... отстойности".
29
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,560
сезон 2, серия 10.
Та, с Рассом.
30
00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:35,180
Русские субтитры:
Dais 2009
31
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,720
В детстве я хотел стать
ветеринаром.
32
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:18,680
Но потом узнал, что придётся
лазить руками в корову...
33
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,320
Ты в порядке?
34
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,040
Просто тяжёлый день на работе.
35
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,960
Стегозавр развалился,
прямо на ребёнка.
36
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,880
Мне знакома эта куртка.
Это куртка СмехБоби!
37
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,120
Где он?
Он же тут, так?
38
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,320
- Может быть.
- Не разыгрывай меня.
39
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:39,420
Геллер!
40
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,220
Эй! СмехБоби!
41
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,180
Эй, да ты накачался?
42
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:44,320
Совсем нет.
43
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,180
Мне нравится этот парень!
44
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,600
Рад слышать, что опять
с моей сестрой.
45
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,840
- Ты и я вместе!
- Итак, что я пропустил?
46
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,800
Мы пытались как-то
развеселить Джоуи.
47
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,520
Нужно, чтоб я тебя поднял?
48
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,120
Нет, я в порядке.
49
00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,680
Нет, я тебя подниму!
50
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:03,560
Нет, серьёзно.
Не надо меня ...
51
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:05,920
Хорошо.
Сработало!
52
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:10,200
Прежде, чем я уйду,
надо ещё кого-то поднять?
53
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,480
Мне всё-же надо идти.
54
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,480
Увидимся, крошка.
55
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:21,660
Состоится публичный показ непристойности.
Можете закрыть глаза.
56
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,040
Увидимся.
57
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,600
СмехБоби такой хороший.
58
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:31,920
О, это правда.
59
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:36,600
Я думаю, в этот раз у нас получится.
Мне с ним так хорошо.
60
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:40,000
Раньше я была такой нескладной.
Ни работы, ни ухажёра.
61
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,880
Наконец, мой стакан на половину
полон.
62
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,600
Полон любё-ёвью!
63
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,080
На двухнедельный юбилей он
привёл меня на дачу своей кузины.
64
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:54,680
Дачу любё-ёви!
65
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,480
Сегодня мы выпили
много вина.
66
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:58,880
Я выпила два бокала.
67
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,120
Я выпил бокал.
68
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,120
Два.
69
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,120
Я выпила один бокал.
70
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,720
Я выпил кружку...
71
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:08,360
... Мои-кости-собрали-
в-музее-природы кружку.
72
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:11,220
Хорошо, а это что?
Две бутылки.
73
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,360
Таким образом мы выпили пять?
74
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,120
И что?
Значит, он много пил сегодня.
75
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,720
Сейчас, вспоминая всё это,
Я не могу вспомнить ...
76
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:36,120
...Я никогда не видел СмехБоби
без выпивки.
77
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,800
А вы заметили, что у него
все истории начинаются с ...
78
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:44,520
..."Нам было так сухо!" или
"Мы были опустошены!"
79
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:49,080
"И вот, я проснулся на свалке
в Коннектикуте!"
80
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,280
Моника, ты была с ним, когда
он не пьёт?
81
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:56,040
Просто у нас получалось ходить
в те места, где обычно все пьют.
82
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:59,520
Как ты пойдёшь на дегустацию вин
и не выпьешь?
83
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,120
Или в клуб, или в ...
84
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,000
... зоопарк.
85
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,800
Рейч, там обезжиренное молоко?
86
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:14,480
Не знаю, попробуй.
87
00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:16,680
Нет.
88
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,040
Поздно. Ты уже отпила.
89
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:26,480
Что скажете, если мы сделаем
этот кофе ирландским?
90
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,640
Пирожное!
91
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,840
Да, попробуем достать пирожное.
92
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:39,680
Похоже, ты раньше делал слишком
много вещей на ирладский манер.
93
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:45,560
Я бы делал их по-бельгийски, но вафли
очень плохо пролезают во фляжку.
94
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,640
Да, хорошо.
95
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:52,520
Может, это не моё дело.
А может моё, не знаю.
96
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,720
Я беспокоюсь о тебе.
97
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:59,120
Ладно. Слушай. Это не первый раз,
когда мне говорят об этом.
98
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,920
Но я вседа оправдывался, мол
"Я просто бытовой выпивоха"
99
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:07,000
или " Да ладно, сегодня же День Флага!"
100
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,760
Итак, что ты хочешь сказать?
101
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,520
Кажется, я хочу сказать ...
102
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,400
... я постараюсь бросить.
103
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,840
Мне нравится, что ты
беспокоишься обо мне.
104
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,920
Ну, как всё проходит?
105
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,160
Я постараюсь бросить пить.
106
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,400
О! Зачем?
107
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,280
Угадайте, кто вернулся в шоубизнес?
108
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,880
Лорен Грин?
109
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,080
Нет. А знаешь почему?
Потому, что он умер.
110
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,960
О, нет!
111
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,680
Это будет бальзам на душу ...
112
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,040
... это же Джоуи, вот кто!
113
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,560
Мой агент вызвала меня на
прослушивание для "Дней наших жизней"!
114
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,680
Обалдеть!
115
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:59,160
Это надо отпраздновать!
Примерно так, как в мыльных операх.
116
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:04,200
Мы могли бы все вместе переспать,
а один из нас мог бы заиметь амнезию!
117
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,920
Рейч, когда ты заканчиваешь?
Мы кое-чем займёмся сегодня.
118
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:14,600
Ну, вобще-то, я уже освободилась.
Но у меня уже есть планы.
119
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,800
У тебя есть другие друзья?
120
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,120
Я... это...
У меня свидание.
121
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:21,080
Что?
122
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,400
С мужчиной?
123
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,720
А что тут такого странного, что
у меня свидание?
124
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,080
А как же Росс?
125
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,680
Ты всё ещё злишься на него
за тот список?
126
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,200
Нет, нет, я не злюсь на него.
127
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,920
Я больше для него не
"что-нибудь".
128
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,960
- О чём ты говоришь?
- Не знаю.
129
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,520
Что бы там я не чувствовала, я ...
130
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:42,520
... всё.
131
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,280
Но вы же так сблизились.
132
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,440
Извини. Придётся свыкнуться
с тем фактом, ...
133
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:51,160
... что я не встречаюсь с Россом.
134
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,160
Вот и он.
135
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,800
Ребята, это Расс.
136
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,640
Я не говорю, что у тебя нет таланта.
У тебя есть талант.
137
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,960
Но только с мёртвой птичкой
не очень много получается двигаться.
138
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,360
Дорогой, давай перестань. Хорошо?
139
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,880
Я поговорю с тобой позже.
140
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:22,880
А вот и мой любимый клиент!
141
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,600
Итак, расскажи мне, дорогой,
как прошло прослушивание?
142
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:29,600
Я думаю, что хорошо.
Меня снова назначили на четверг.
143
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,880
Джоуи! Ты видел меня когда-нибудь
в приступе экстаза?
144
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,160
На вот, смотри.
145
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:43,480
Ладно! Слушай, есть дело, которое
хотел бы с тобой обговорить.
146
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:44,720
Та леди набирающая артистов...
147
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,920
А! Правда Лори куколка?
148
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,520
Да. Она хороша.
149
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,920
Но у меня такое чувство, что она
чего-то хочет от меня.
150
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:59,800
И я бы точно получил бы роль,
если бы... ну это... ты знаешь...
151
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,360
если бы заслал генерала в норку.
152
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,800
Понимаю! Чтож, я сейчас
позвоню и тогда ...
153
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:15,320
... мы всё узнаем и расставим
всё по своим местам.
154
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:18,400
Да! Алло!
Лори, пожалуйста.
155
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,720
Привет, дорогая!
156
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,760
Что там с Джоуи Трибиани на роль
водителя такси?
157
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,160
Разве ж он не прелесен?
158
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,120
Ладно, куколка, потом поговорим.
159
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,880
Да... Тебе надо с ней переспать.
160
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:40,040
- Что случилось?
- СмехБоби.
161
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,520
Что? Он что, трезвый?
162
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,080
Да, он трезвый всё в порядке.
163
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,440
Это больше не СмехБоби,
без причины веселья.
164
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,440
Вот, пожалуйста, дорогой.
165
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,120
Спасибо. Хотите узнать
что-то смешное?
166
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,360
Боже, конечно да!
167
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:05,120
В Вилледж после полуночи нет ни одного
открытого хозяйственного магазина.
168
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,920
Это смешно.
169
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:13,680
Мне был нужен молоток и я
обошёл всю округу.
170
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,200
Но выяснилось ...
171
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:21,520
что в Вилледж после полуночи нет ни одного
открытого хозяйственного магазина.
172
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,080
А тебе не пора на собеседование?
173
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,640
О, да.
174
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,440
Увидимся, ребята.
175
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,080
Пока ...
176
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,480
... до смешного тупой Боби.
177
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,960
О, боже мой.
178
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,400
Не так уж всё плохо.
179
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,400
Не так плохо?
Ты не слышала историю с молотком?
180
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:48,200
Ладно, не принимай близко
к сердцу.
181
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:51,000
Может это из тех историй,
когда тебе следовало там присутствовать.
182
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,520
Но я туда собираюсь!
183
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,240
На всю оставшуюся жизнь.
184
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,920
Я не могу его бросить. Из-за меня он
бросил пить. Я сделала его тупым!
185
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,240
Не говори так.
186
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,720
Он, наверное, всегда был тупым.
Ты просто, знаешь ...
187
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,680
... выпустила всё это.
188
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,920
Эй, Росс.
189
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:12,880
Привет, Расс.
190
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,080
Мне надо почистить ещё два стола,
и тогда мы пойдём.
191
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,640
Я посижу здесь и ...
192
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,280
... поболтаю с твоими ...
193
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:25,960
... дружеского типа людьми.
194
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,960
Рейчел?
195
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,120
Ты понимаешь, что
творишь, правда?
196
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:36,480
Уборку?
197
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,640
Ну, да. Но нет.
Я в смысле ...
198
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:44,200
Расс тебе случаем
никого не напоминает?
199
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,000
Боба Сагета?
200
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,160
О, да!
201
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,840
Нет, нет, нет.
202
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,840
Ах, ой, ах!
203
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,400
Что случилось?
204
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:56,880
Она расстроилась из-за ...
205
00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:01,440
... того, что размазала паука
по хлебу с маслом этим утром.
206
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,360
Понятно.
207
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,800
Слушай, Фибс.
Всё будет хорошо.
208
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,360
Росс - Расс.
Расс - Росс.
209
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:15,800
Так ты друг Рейчел?
210
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,000
Да. Да я друг.
211
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,760
А ты друг Рейчел?
212
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,800
Вобще-то, я больше ...
213
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,360
... ну, знаешь ...
214
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,440
... встречного типа что-то ...
215
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,240
... для Рейчел.
216
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,040
Встречного?
217
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:32,400
Я встречаюсь с ней.
218
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,320
О! Так ты ...
219
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:37,200
А, вы встречаетесь.
220
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,680
Вобще это хорошо ...
221
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:42,120
... ибо если мы потеряем Росса,
у нас будет чем заменить.
222
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,120
А! Так ты палеонтолог.
223
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:49,760
Да. Да это так.
А ты у нас ...
224
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,120
Периодонтист.
225
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,840
Видишь? Сейчас они такие
разные как ночь и ...
226
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,800
... поздняя ночь.
227
00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:00,480
Чтож, пойду прополосну горло.
228
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,680
Было приятно встретиться.
229
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,360
Так же.
230
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,680
Вот, я встретил Расса.
231
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,720
Эй, я не знал, что мы
встречаемся с другими людьми.
232
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,320
Ну раз уж мы не встречаемся
сами, то ...
233
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,320
Чтоб ты знала, у нас
в музее есть женщина ...
234
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:27,400
... курирующая моль и другие ...
235
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,920
... крылатые существа ...
236
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:34,600
... так она увлеклась мною
прямо как ...
237
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,120
... ты знаешь.
238
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,840
Я держал её про запас,
но если уж так, то ...
239
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,200
Вот именно так.
240
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,000
Ладно, чтож, приятного вечера.
241
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,960
Расс, ты готов?
242
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,240
Она встречается?
243
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:55,480
Она встречается?
244
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:59,200
Да, но ты видел с кем
она встречается?
245
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,680
Что ты имеешь в виду?
246
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,560
- Ты что, не видишь?
- Что видишь?
247
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,960
Я не знаю, что она нашла
в этом фраере!
248
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,080
У него уходит сколько?
Где-то примерно ...
249
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,560
... возле недели, чтобы
высказать одно предложение.
250
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,600
Это же раздражает, ведь так?
251
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,280
Я полагаю, что кто-то
не получил роль ...
252
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,480
... или звонили из Италии
и сказали, что голодны?
253
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,920
Роль будет моя, если захочу.
254
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,000
О, боже мой!
255
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,880
Если соглашусь переспать
с леди, которая набирает на роли.
256
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,200
О, мой ...
257
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,480
... бог?
258
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,280
Десять лет я ждал такого случая.
Десять лет!
259
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:54,720
Это же "Дни наших жизней".
Они уже идут по телевизору!
260
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,280
И что ты собираешься делать?
261
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,920
Я думаю, что могу переспать с ней.
В смысле ...
262
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,480
Как так можно?
263
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,880
У меня есть перелистная книжка, где
всё написано.
264
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,160
Я никогда не спал с кем-либо
за получение роли.
265
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,960
Так, она ...
266
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,840
Извини.
267
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,720
Она хорошо выглядит?
268
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:18,080
Она очень хорошо выглядит.
Если бы я встретил её в баре ...
269
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,960
... я бы купил ей завтрак.
270
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,560
После того, как переспал бы с ней.
271
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,560
Может, не стоит так переживать?
272
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:37,000
С моей точки зрения: ты получаешь
хорошую работу и имеешь секс!
273
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:41,640
Выбрось ёлку и толстяка -
получится Рожество какое-то!
274
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,480
Просто я не думаю, что
хочу этого таким путём.
275
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,080
Ну, вот допустим,
я поступлю так, хорошо?
276
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:54,320
Я буду всегда оглядываться назад
и думать - это из-за моего таланта или ...
277
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,760
... ну знаешь, маленького генерала.
278
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,720
Разве ты раньше не называл
его "маленьким майором"?
279
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:05,800
Да, но после Дениз ДеМарко
я его повысил.
280
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,480
Чего-нибудь из бара?
281
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,120
Да, я хотела бы чего-нибудь.
282
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,320
Нет. Нет, спасибо.
283
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,120
Если хочешь выпить, то я согласен.
Мне придётся привыкать к этому.
284
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,080
Нет, нет, правда.
Мне будет неловко.
285
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,080
Просто воды, пожалуйста.
286
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:30,440
- Так свет в холодильнике погас...
- Скотч со льдом и твистом!
287
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,880
Классно развлекаемся, да, Росс?
288
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,840
Хочешь ещё разок?
А, Расс?
289
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:40,720
Одиннадцать букв ...
290
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:44,480
... атомный элемент номер 101,
кончается на "иум".
291
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,040
Диспрозиум.
292
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,600
Диспрозиум.
293
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,320
Попробуй менделевиум.
294
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,120
И умник номер два угадал.
295
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:57,480
Если "Рыцари в белом шёлке"
спели Дуди блюз.
296
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,160
Ты что, не видишь?
Ты совсем не видишь?
297
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,520
Что?
298
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,480
Дорогая, ты встречаешься с Россом.
299
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,320
Нет, Фибс, я встречаюсь с Рассом.
300
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,880
Расс это Росс. Расс, Росс.
301
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:12,120
Кошки, кишки.
302
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,600
Здесь нет никакого кишки.
303
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,640
О чём ты говоришь?
304
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:20,760
Кроме того, что их имена похожи,
я не вижу, что ты там увидела.
305
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,560
Если ты не знал, то ...
306
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,960
... это у карты рубашка,
а вовсе не рубчик.
307
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,720
Сильнее заблуждаться просто нельзя.
308
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,000
Можно пробовать, но наврядли
что-либо удастся.
309
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:35,760
Пойду возьму ещё кофе перед тем,
как начнётся щипание и выкалывание глаз.
310
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:37,280
Я знаю твою проблему.
311
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,160
Ах, знаешь, ты знаешь?
312
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,680
Ты завидуешь.
313
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,320
Чему?
314
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:48,360
Ты завидуешь по-тому,
что я настоящий доктор.
315
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,520
Эй, ты же доктор по дёснам.
316
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,640
Это наименьшая часть тела,
и в ней ты разбираешься.
317
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,280
Первый день - флюс.
На второй день - твой диплом.
318
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:58,560
Слушай сюда ...
319
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,520
- Дай мне закончить.
- Нет ты дай мне закончить.
320
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:04,120
Нет, ты дай мне ...
321
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,720
- Привет!
- Привет!
322
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,720
Ой! Фу, фу, фу ...
323
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,200
- Джоуи сказал, что он собирается делать?
- Нет.
324
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:19,840
Не думаю, что он уже решил.
325
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,680
А ты переспала бы с кем-нибудь,
чтобы получить хорошую работу?
326
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,120
А с кем надо будет переспать?
327
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,840
Со мной.
328
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,480
Почему это вдруг с тобой?
329
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,360
Это моя игра.
Ты хочешь работу или нет?
330
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,320
Доброе утро.
331
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,560
Куда ты идёшь?
332
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:42,720
Боби и я уезжаем на выходные.
Забыли?
333
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,520
А зачем столько выпивки?
334
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,080
Что происходит?
Боби опять пьёт?
335
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,800
Это не для него.
Это для меня.
336
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:56,040
Так его трезвые и скупые истории
становятся более забавными.
337
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,680
Боже! Даже его стук,
и тот скучен!
338
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,800
- Я буду готова через секунду.
- Можно с тобой поговорить?
339
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,320
Конечно.
340
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,280
Мне трудно это говорить.
341
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,160
Боже, ты выпал из коляски!
342
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,840
Ах, нет, нет.
343
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,240
Это о тебе.
344
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:18,880
Что обо мне?
345
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:22,720
Я думаю, у тебя проблемы
с выпивкой.
346
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,280
Что? Это?
347
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,040
Нет, это так, на всякий случай.
348
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:35,320
Слушай, я не настолько сильный,
чтобы участвовать в таких отношениях.
349
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,360
О, блин.
350
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:43,760
Но в любом случае, я надеюсь,
что мы останемся друзьями.
351
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:47,480
Пока.
352
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,560
- Пока.
- До свидания.
353
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,920
Что случилось?
354
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,080
Вроде, мы расстались.
355
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:05,920
Кто-нибудь хочет это?
356
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,040
Я возьму одну.
357
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:13,120
Иногда я беру что-нибудь такое
и ощущаю себя гигантом.
358
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,560
Как там с повтором?
359
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,360
Невероятно. Я зашёл туда,
и она сразу набросилась на меня.
360
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,560
- Что же ты сделал?
- Я не смог.
361
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,560
Я не хотел получить роль
таким образом.
362
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:27,560
Ты молодец!
363
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:29,380
Но потом!
Я вышёл из её кабинета ...
364
00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:33,700
... и она перехватила меня в лифте и
предложила мне ещё бОльшую роль.
365
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,240
Так, и ?..
366
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:40,640
Так что вы теперь видите перед собой
Др. Дрейка Реморе, нейрохирурга ...
367
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:44,320
... работающего на протяжении
примерно четырёх эпизодов!
368
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,060
Ладно, пойду приму душ...
369
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,080
Похоже, вы, ребята знаете,
что Рейчел меня бросила.
370
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,080
Да, сожалею.
371
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,520
Она сказала, что я ей
кого-то напоминаю.
372
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,960
Кто-нибудь знает
о ком идёт речь?
373
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:17,400
А! Я знаю. Это Боб Сагет.
374
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,760
Она его ненавидит.
375
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:21,920
Эй, Джули!
376
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,640
Как дела?
377
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,880
Не знаю. Как-то странно
без Росса ...
378
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,120
... но, похоже, справлюсь.
379
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:33,560
Вобще, я тут принесла его
вещи, которые он ...
348
00:23:41,767 --> 00:23:44,292
- Мы раньше встречались?
- Не думаю.
349
00:23:44,503 --> 00:23:46,869
Твоё лицо
мне так знакомо.
350
00:23:47,940 --> 00:23:52,604
Возможно, мы сможем поговорить
об этом за чашечкой кофе?
351
00:23:52,811 --> 00:23:55,336
Знаешь что?
Меня уже тошнит от кофе.
352
00:23:55,547 --> 00:23:57,811
Пойдём найдём
нам сока.
353
00:23:58,016 --> 00:23:59,711
- Давай.
- Хорошо.
354
00:23:59,918 --> 00:24:02,751
- Пока.
- Пока.
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