1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:03,997
Okay, here's his diaper bag...
2
00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,039
...and his Mr. Winky.
3
00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:08,696
And...
4
00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:11,265
...him. Hi!
5
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:14,604
- How did everything go?
- Great!
6
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:16,973
There was a projectile...
7
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:20,041
...throwing up incident,
but he started it.
8
00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:22,414
We've gotta go.
9
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:25,182
Oh, right.
10
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,325
I've got some news.
It's about us.
11
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:29,391
You and me?
12
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,596
No. Susan and me.
13
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,526
The other "us."
14
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,561
We're getting married.
15
00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:48,872
As in, "I now pronounce you
wife and wife" married?
16
00:00:49,849 --> 00:00:53,341
We'd like you to come.
We understand if you don't want to.
17
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:57,681
Why wouldn't I want to come?
I had fun at the first wedding.
18
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:00,186
I just thought that
19
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:05,420
Why shouldn't I be happy for you?
What would it say about me...
20
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,725
...if I couldn't revel
in your joy?
21
00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:11,402
And I'm reveling, baby!
Believe me!
22
00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:14,098
Is your finger caught in that chair?
23
00:01:16,342 --> 00:01:17,809
Want us to go?
24
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:25,815
The One With the Lesbian Wedding
25
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,657
This is cool.
You're actually on television.
26
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:12,898
I know.
It really hit me last night.
27
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,866
I'm on Days of our Lives.
28
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:21,735
Then I started thinking about us, and
how these are the days of our lives.
29
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:25,240
Yes!
30
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,240
What?
31
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,281
Carol and Susan's caterer
had a bike accident...
32
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,575
...and she's in a
full-body cast.
33
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:38,356
They want me to do it, which is cool
since I've never catered...
34
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,258
...and I need the money.
Is this a problem for you, isn't it?
35
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:43,586
- Would it matter?
- You're so great!
36
00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,057
Thank you!
37
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:47,789
- You're really not going?
- I'm really not.
38
00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:51,763
They already live together.
Why do they need to get married?
39
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,605
They love each other.
40
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,401
They wanna celebrate that love
with the people close to them.
41
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,272
If you wanna call
that a reason.
42
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:04,678
Who's the bitterest
man in the living room?
43
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,783
The bitterest man
in the living room?
44
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,356
Hi, neighbor.
45
00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:16,953
- I thought you were over this.
- That has nothing to do with it.
46
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:20,825
She is my ex-wife, If she were marrying
a guy, you wouldn't expect me to go.
47
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:24,831
If she were marrying a guy,
she'd be the worst lesbian ever.
48
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,239
Did I miss it?
49
00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:32,638
No, I'm on right after this guy
shoots himself.
50
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:34,943
She's pretty.
51
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,147
And she's really nice.
52
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:40,251
She taught me about
how to work with the cameras...
53
00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:42,317
...and smell-the-fart acting.
54
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,222
- I'm sorry, what?
- Excuse me?
55
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:51,992
Smell-the-fart acting
56
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,193
You got so many lines
to learn so fast that sometimes...
57
00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:58,026
...you need a minute
to remember your next one.
58
00:03:58,104 --> 00:03:59,765
So while you're thinking...
59
00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:03,442
...you take this big pause
where you look all intense.
60
00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:04,665
Like this...
61
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:13,649
Here's my scene!
Here's my scene!
62
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:17,456
Mrs. Wallace?
63
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:20,757
Dr. Drake Ramoray,
your sister's neurosurgeon.
64
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:23,086
Is she going to be all right?
65
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:27,163
I'm afraid the situation
is much more dire than we'd expected.
66
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,697
Your sister's suffering from a...
67
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,666
...subcranial hematoma.
68
00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:43,345
Perhaps we can
discuss this further over coffee.
69
00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:50,544
Nice!
70
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:55,717
For a minute, I thought you were
actually smelling something.
71
00:04:58,564 --> 00:04:59,963
- Do it again!
- All right!
72
00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:02,429
- That was so good!
- Do it again.
73
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:06,167
"Damn it, Braverman!
It's right there on the chart!"
74
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:11,776
I gotta get to work.
I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
75
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,034
No, that's me.
76
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,541
Oh, right.
77
00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:20,713
Oh, thanks. Couldn't...
78
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:24,814
Is everything okay?
79
00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:26,650
No.
80
00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:32,494
One of my clients died
on the massage table today.
81
00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:34,096
Oh, my God!
82
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,693
That's a little more relaxed
than you want them to get.
83
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:42,867
She was, you know,
82 years old...
84
00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:46,437
...and her name was
Mrs. Adelman.
85
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:47,475
Oh, honey.
86
00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:50,271
It's just so strange. You know...
87
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,178
...she probably woke up
this morning and thought...
88
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:57,116
...I'll have some breakfast, take
a walk, then have my massage.
89
00:05:57,390 --> 00:06:00,518
Little did she know God thought,
"Okay, but that's it."
90
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:07,027
Oh, but the weirdest things was...
91
00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:10,497
...I was cleansing her aura
when it happened.
92
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,398
And when her spirit
left her body...
93
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,834
...I don't think it went very far.
94
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:17,932
What do you mean?
95
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:21,244
I think it went into me.
96
00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:31,216
This is so hard.
97
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:33,482
I can't decide
between lamb or duck.
98
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,387
Well, lambs are scarier.
99
00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:38,960
Otherwise the movie would've been
called silence of the Ducks.
100
00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:42,156
Okay, who ordered what?
101
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:46,700
I had the half-drunk cappuccino
with the lipstick on the rim.
102
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:50,605
And this with the cigarette
butt in it, is that decaf?
103
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,435
Oh, God.
104
00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:54,771
You're so uptight
about your mom coming.
105
00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:58,245
I know. I just don't want
her to think that because...
106
00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:00,986
...I didn't marry Barry
my life is total crap.
107
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:04,018
Talk about crap, just
listen to Stella Neidman...
108
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:07,521
...tell her story about Rod Steiger
for the hundredth time.
109
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:17,525
I'm sorry. At least you guys haven't
need to hear staff she said in my head.
110
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:24,633
Pheebs? How long do you think
this lady will be with us?
111
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:28,345
I don't know. She obviously
has some unfinished business.
112
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:29,581
Sit up!
113
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,111
There she is!
114
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,115
- Mom!
- Hey, sweetie!
115
00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:44,896
So this is where you work!
116
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:47,324
Oh, it's wonderful!
117
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:51,569
Is it a living room?
Is it a restaurant? Who can tell?
118
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:53,832
I guess that's the fun.
119
00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:56,074
Pretty much.
Here, meet my friends.
120
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:59,243
Monica! You look gorgeous!
121
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:03,711
Oh, my! The last time I saw you,
it was eat or be eaten.
122
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,051
This is Joey.
123
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,343
This is Phoebe.
124
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:08,813
This is Chandler.
125
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,145
You remember Ross?
126
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,481
Oh, hello, Ross.
127
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:12,722
Mrs. Greene.
128
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:18,220
What do you think of my
daughter, in the apron...
129
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,590
...with the big job!
130
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,294
Oh, Mom!
131
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:27,366
If you didn't pour the coffee,
no one would have anything to drink.
132
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:30,308
Believe me, sometimes that happens.
133
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:35,812
This is just so exciting!
You know, I never worked.
134
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:39,209
I went straight from my father's house
to the sorority house...
135
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:43,148
...to my husband's house.
I am just so proud of you!
136
00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:44,855
Really?
137
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:46,949
Let's make a day of it!
138
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:51,860
We will have lunch, we will shopping, we
will get nails done, whatever you want.
139
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:53,160
Mom, I have to work.
140
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,191
What! No one else can pour coffee?
141
00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:59,637
I know who you remind me of.
142
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:01,364
Evelyn Durmer.
143
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:06,476
That's before the lousy face-lift.
Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
144
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:12,516
Pheebs? Who's Evelyn Durmer?
145
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:16,287
I don't know.
Who's Soupy Sales?
146
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:20,122
Oh, my God!
147
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,957
There's an unattractive
nude man playing the cello.
148
00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:28,491
Just be glad he's not playing
a smaller instrument.
149
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,831
You have some life here, sweetie!
150
00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:38,543
Mom, I realize you and dad were upset
when I didn't marry Barry...
151
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:42,373
...and get the house in the suburbs
with all the security.
152
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:44,583
This is just
so much better for me.
153
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:48,752
I do know.
You didn't love Barry, honey.
154
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:51,546
And I've never seen you this happy.
155
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:55,249
I look at you and I think,
"This is what I want."
156
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,091
For me.
157
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,466
Well, not just for you.
158
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:03,757
What do you mean?
159
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:09,032
I'm considering
leaving your father.
160
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:14,276
All right, tell me
if this is too cute.
161
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:17,344
Lesbian wedding...
chicken breasts.
162
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,446
Oh, God.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
163
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:28,193
What? It's not like I'm putting
little nipples on them.
164
00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:34,188
Oh! Honey, I'm sorry.
Please don't be mad at me.
165
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:41,433
What can I do? You order me to make
those martial art trick you used to like.
166
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:44,907
I can call it Carl
Meilong to find out how?
167
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:49,414
Mom, I just don't understand.
I thought you are happy.
168
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,673
So did I.
169
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:57,190
You know how sometimes you're driving
on the highway, and you get home...
170
00:10:57,241 --> 00:11:00,491
...and you can't actually
remember having driven there.
171
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,186
That's kind of my life being like.
172
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,295
Coundn't you listen to the radio more?
173
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:14,438
I wish it is that easy. But then I see you here
and I keep thinking why can't I have this?
174
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:18,409
I want adventures, I want
hang out, I want Chandler.
175
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:25,383
Believe me, Chandler is
no reason to leave daddy!
176
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:32,380
You think it's something having a lot
of fun, but it's really hard, really hard.
177
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:37,395
I got this lausy job, I barely know how to
make it ramdon. Forget about to buying stuff.
178
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:43,926
Honey! You don't understand. I'm be
doing what you are doning, but with money.
179
00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:47,438
It's very different.
180
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,280
- You had no idea what
they getting along? - None.
181
00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:57,014
They didn't fight a lot?
182
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,912
No, they didn't even
talk to each other.
183
00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:03,144
How was I suppose to know
they were having problems?
184
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:07,254
You know, in my day,
divorce was not an option.
185
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,322
Hey, look who's up!
186
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,826
I just can't believe
this is happening!
187
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,730
When I was little,
everybody's parents got divorced.
188
00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:22,064
I figured as an grown up,
I wouldn't have to worry about it.
189
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:25,208
Can't you look at this
as flattering?
190
00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:27,469
She just wants to be like you.
191
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,807
Well, couldn't she have just
copied my haircut?
192
00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:35,017
When my parents divorced,
they sent me to a shrink...
193
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:38,280
...and she told me
that kids blame themselves.
194
00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:41,287
But in your case,
it's actually kind of true.
195
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,489
Oh, that's him.
196
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:47,524
Damn! My mail-order
grandfather hasn't come yet.
197
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,530
- Phoebe?
- Hi, Mr. Adelman.
198
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,703
- Nice to see you.
- Thanks for meeting me.
199
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:56,499
That's okay. Although you did
cut into my busy day of sitting.
200
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,240
Do you wanna sit?
201
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:03,379
No, I spent most of my morning
trying to stand up.
202
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,714
What can I do
for you, my dear?
203
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:11,080
Okay, I don't know how
to say this, but...
204
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:14,053
I think when your wife's spirit
left her body...
205
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,727
...it kind of stuck around...
206
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:17,893
...in me.
207
00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:20,891
You're saying
my wife is in you?
208
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:24,227
Yeah. You don't have to
believe me, but...
209
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,735
...can you think of
any unfinished business she had?
210
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,907
Any reason to hang around?
211
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:31,768
I don't know what to say.
212
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:34,272
All I can think of is that...
213
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:38,448
...she used to say that before she
died, she wanted to see everything.
214
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:41,086
- Everything?
- Everything.
215
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,187
That's a lot of stuff.
216
00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:44,547
Oh, wait, I...
217
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:48,692
I remember she also said she wanted
to sleep with me one last time.
218
00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:00,929
I'm sorry.
There's laughing in my head.
219
00:14:03,475 --> 00:14:04,908
Worth a shot, huh?
220
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,775
Look at this!
221
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,947
These are all Halloween,
three years ago.
222
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:19,457
My little martini.
I love your olive head.
223
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,290
Oh, and look, here's Barry.
224
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:25,563
He came straight
from the office?
225
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,333
Oh, no.
That was his costume.
226
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:34,602
See, he's actually an orthodontist,
but he came as a regular dentist.
227
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,336
He thought that was really funny.
228
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:39,845
You guys?
229
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:43,046
Remember when I said
that I don't need your help?
230
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:44,881
Actually, I think you said...
231
00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:47,618
..."Don't touch that
and get out of my kitchen."
232
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:50,819
Really? Weird.
Anyway...
233
00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:54,492
I planned really well.
I planned and planned.
234
00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:57,628
I just didn't plan
enough time to do it.
235
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,664
- You want some help?
- If you want.
236
00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:06,931
What a day!
237
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:08,833
I took her everywhere.
238
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:14,846
The Museum of Modern Art,
Rockefeller Center...
239
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,547
...the Statue of Liberty.
240
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:17,976
She's still with you?
241
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:22,014
Yes. I guess she hasn't
seen everything yet.
242
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:26,023
Be right back. She has to go
to the bathroom again.
243
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:30,591
Such a pretty face!
244
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:37,691
Oh, this is so much fun!
Just the girls!
245
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:41,667
Do you know what we should do?
Does anybody have any marijuana?
246
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:42,803
God!
247
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:47,674
Did I have to ask do we have pot.
248
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,174
Look, no one's smoking
pot around all this food.
249
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:53,214
Well, that's fine.
250
00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:56,349
I never did it.
I just thought I might.
251
00:15:58,424 --> 00:15:59,652
What's new in sex?
252
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:04,359
What's new in sex?
253
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:07,064
The only man I've been with
is your father.
254
00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:10,164
I'm dicing. I'm dicing.
I don't hear anything.
255
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:14,102
This is no offense to your dad,
but I was thinking...
256
00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:15,600
...there might be more.
257
00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:19,173
You know what? I cannot
have this conversation with you.
258
00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:20,343
All right.
259
00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:24,538
You come here and drop this bomb on me
before you even tell Daddy.
260
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:28,377
Do you want my blessing?
Want me to talk you out of it?
261
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,019
Then what do you want?
262
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,553
I guess I figured
you would understand.
263
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,225
Why on earth
would I understand this?
264
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:39,153
You didn't marry your Barry, honey.
265
00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:41,298
But I married mine.
266
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,703
We're in trouble. We've only got
12 hours and 36 minutes left.
267
00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:53,604
Move, move, move!
268
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:57,080
I feel like you should
have German subtitles.
269
00:16:59,318 --> 00:17:00,615
Joey, speed it up!
270
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:04,753
I'm sorry! It's the pigs! They're
reluctant to get in the blanket!
271
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:09,356
How did this happen?
I thought you had this planned out.
272
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,691
Do you want me to cry?
273
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,698
Is that what you want?
274
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,798
Do you wanna see me cry?
275
00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:18,432
Sir, no, sir!
276
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:23,174
All right, you!
277
00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:27,138
No. Look, I told you, I am
not a part of this thing.
278
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:31,713
Look, Ross. I know you have issues with
Carol and Susan, and I feel for you.
279
00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:34,976
But if you don't help,
I'm gonna take those hot dogs...
280
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:38,121
...and create an appetizer
called "Pigs In Ross."
281
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:40,723
All right, ball a melon!
282
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:44,053
How come I'm stuck dicing
when he gets to ball a melon?
283
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:52,129
- How's it going?
- Great! Right on schedule.
284
00:17:52,504 --> 00:17:54,665
Got my little happy helpers.
285
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,842
That's fine. Whatever.
286
00:17:58,977 --> 00:17:59,841
What's wrong?
287
00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:01,042
Nothing.
288
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:06,243
Okay, everything.
I think we're calling off the wedding.
289
00:18:07,352 --> 00:18:09,616
You're still gonna pay me, right?
290
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:14,117
Or something a little less selfish.
291
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:16,327
What's the matter?
What happened?
292
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:19,429
My parents called to say
they weren't coming.
293
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,466
I knew they were
having trouble with this, but...
294
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:27,569
...they're my parents.
They're supposed to give me away.
295
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:32,006
Susan and I fought because
I said maybe we should call it off.
296
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:35,246
She said, "This isn't for them.
It's for us."
297
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:38,813
And if I couldn't see that,
we should cancel the wedding.
298
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,985
I don't know what to do.
299
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:46,853
I can't believe I'm gonna say this,
but I think Susan's right.
300
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:48,691
You do?
301
00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:53,720
Do you love her? And don't be
too emphatic about this.
302
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,000
Of course I do.
303
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:58,826
Well then, that's it.
304
00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:03,165
If George and Adelaide can't
accept that, then the hell with them.
305
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,506
If my parents didn't want me
to marry you...
306
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,678
...no way that would've
stopped me.
307
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:12,883
Look, this is your wedding.
308
00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:14,986
Do it.
309
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,250
You're right.
Of course you're right.
310
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:21,886
So we're back on?
311
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:23,654
We're back on.
312
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:26,762
You heard the woman!
Peel! Chop! Devil!
313
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:31,198
Can't believe
I lost two minutes!
314
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:43,538
It just seems so futile.
315
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,410
You know?
All these women, and nothing!
316
00:19:50,055 --> 00:19:53,354
I feel like Superman
without my powers, you know?
317
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:57,854
I have the cape,
and yet I cannot fly.
318
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:03,499
Well, now you understand
how I feel every single day.
319
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:08,006
The world is my lesbian wedding.
320
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,480
Butterscotch?
321
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:23,081
No one?
322
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:25,983
All right,
you'll be sorry later.
323
00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:02,484
- Thank you.
- Anytime.
324
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:07,195
Ross.
325
00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:14,035
Nothing makes God happier...
326
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:18,037
...than when two people, any two
people, come together in love.
327
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:21,677
Friends, family,
we're gathered here today...
328
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,438
...to join Carol and Susan
in holy matrimony.
329
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,012
Oh, my God!
330
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:28,546
Now I've seen everything!
331
00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:33,389
She's gone!
332
00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:34,648
She's gone!
333
00:21:34,926 --> 00:21:35,790
She's gone.
334
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:38,621
Go ahead, get married.
Go, go!
335
00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:43,401
Strangers in the night
336
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:45,932
Exchanging glances
337
00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:47,831
Wondering in the night
338
00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:49,403
Would you look at them?
339
00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:52,040
Yeah. Can't help but.
340
00:21:57,716 --> 00:22:00,480
How's that pig-in-the-blanket
working out for you?
341
00:22:01,586 --> 00:22:03,577
I wrapped those bad boys.
342
00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:06,482
I miss Rose.
343
00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:07,555
Oh, yeah?
344
00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:12,594
I know it's kind of weird, but
she was a big part of my life...
345
00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:14,559
I don't know, I feel alone.
346
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:20,234
You know, I couldn't help
overhearing what you just said.
347
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:25,542
I think it's time you forget about
Rose, move on with your life.
348
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:27,436
How about we get you a drink?
349
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,408
Okay. So nice!
350
00:22:37,589 --> 00:22:40,456
I shouldn't even bother
coming up with a line, right?
351
00:22:43,595 --> 00:22:45,119
Hey, Mom, having fun?
352
00:22:45,464 --> 00:22:50,128
Am I! I just danced
with a wonderfully large woman.
353
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:54,472
And three other girls
made eyes at me over at the buffet.
354
00:22:54,773 --> 00:22:57,241
I'm not saying
it's something I wanna pursue...
355
00:22:57,542 --> 00:22:59,737
...but it's nice to know
I have options.
356
00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:04,710
There's more alcohol, right?
357
00:23:09,654 --> 00:23:10,951
How you doing?
358
00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:16,818
You did a good thing today.
359
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:22,789
You wanna dance?
360
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,165
No, that's fine.
361
00:23:26,037 --> 00:23:27,129
Come on.
362
00:23:27,706 --> 00:23:29,537
I'll let you lead.
363
00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:49,785
Look, penis, schmenis!
364
00:23:50,128 --> 00:23:51,823
Okay? We're all people.
365
00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:05,502
Which one of us is gonna be
the first one to get married?
366
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:07,535
Mon, I was married.
367
00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:10,612
- Yeah, me too, technically.
- I had a wedding.
368
00:24:10,849 --> 00:24:13,249
Just trying to
start a discussion.
369
00:24:14,352 --> 00:24:17,981
Which one do you think
will be the last to get married?
370
00:24:22,527 --> 00:24:23,824
Isn't Ben in this?
371
00:24:24,062 --> 00:24:24,892
Of course!
372
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:25,960
Absolutely.
|
1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,120
Так, вот подгузники...
2
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:08,160
... и мистер Уинки.
3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,840
И...
4
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,840
Он!
5
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,080
- Как всё прошло?
- Прекрасно!
6
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,640
У нас случился прогнозируемый...
7
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,160
рвотный инцидент,
но он первый начал.
8
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,080
Нам надо идти.
9
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:25,720
А! Правда.
10
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,200
У меня есть новости.
Они о нас.
11
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:29,200
Ты и я?
12
00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:31,360
Нет. Сьюзен и я.
13
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,720
О других "нас".
14
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,480
Мы женимся.
15
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:48,600
Типа: "Я провозглашаю вас
женой и женой" так женитесь?
16
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,240
Мы хотели бы, чтобы ты пришёл.
Я пойму, если ты не захочешь.
17
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:57,360
Почему бы мне не прийти?
Мне же было хорошо в первом браке.
18
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,800
Просто я подумала, что ...
19
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:03,320
Почему бы мне не быть счасливым за вас?
Как я буду выглядеть ...
20
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,440
... если не смогу разделить
с вами радость?
21
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,280
Я разделяю его, милая!
Поверь мне!
22
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:13,120
Ты случаем не прищемил
в коляске палец?
23
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,680
Может, мы пойдём?
24
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,680
Сезон 2, серия 11.
Та, с лесбийской свадьбой.
25
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,400
Русские субтитры:
Dais 2009
26
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,440
Это здорово.
Тебя показывают по ТВ.
27
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,800
Я знаю!
Меня прошлой ночью просто осенило -
28
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,400
Я в "Днях наших жизней".
29
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:19,720
Потом я подумал про нас, про то,
что вот они - дни наших жизней.
30
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:21,560
Ура!
31
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:22,600
Что?
32
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,720
Повар свадьбы Керол и Сьюзен попала
в аварию на велосипеде ...
33
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,480
... и теперь она вся в гипсе.
34
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:34,440
Они попросили меня заменить её, это
классно уже потому, что я ни разу
не готовила для свадеб.
35
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,000
И мне нужны деньги.
Разве это плохо?
36
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,200
- Мне всё равно.
- Ты лапочка!
37
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:40,600
Спасибо!
38
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,240
- Ты точно не пойдёшь?
- Точно не пойду.
39
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,120
Я не могу понять - они уже вместе.
Зачем им ещё и жениться?
40
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:48,760
Они любят друг друга.
41
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,840
Они хотят отпраздновать эту любовь
с близкими людьми.
42
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,040
Если это можно назвать причиной.
43
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,960
"Кто тут в комнате самый сладкий?"
44
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,920
"Самый сладкий в этой комнате?"
45
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,360
Привет, сосед.
46
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:11,200
- Росс, я думала, что ты уже пережил это.
- Тут совершенно нечего переживать.
47
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,880
Если бы она женилась с парнем, то
меня бы никто там не ждал.
48
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:20,240
Если бы она женилась с парнем, то она
была бы самой худшей лесбиянкой.
49
00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:22,920
Я пропустила?
50
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,920
Нет, я сразу после того, как тот
парень застрелится.
51
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,960
А она красивая.
52
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,520
И очень вежливая.
53
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,520
Она научила меня, как работать
на камеры ...
54
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:37,040
... и ещё - приёму "кто набздел".
55
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,760
- Извини, что?
- Простите?
56
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,040
Иногда нужно запомнить так много
текста в короткий срок, что иногда ...
57
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:47,000
... нужна минутка, чтобы вспомнить,
что говорить дальше.
58
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,840
И пока ты думаешь ...
59
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,360
... делаешь такую длинную паузу,
где ты весь напрягаешься, как будто...
60
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,080
Вот так ...
61
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,680
Вот моя сцена!
Вот моя сцена!
62
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,520
Миссис Уолес?
63
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,000
Доктор Дрейк Реморе,
нейрохирург вашей сестры.
64
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,240
Она поправится?
65
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:15,160
Я боюсь, что ситуация гораздо более
сложная, чем мы ожидали.
66
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,080
Ваша сестра страдает ...
67
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,680
... субкронической гематомой.
68
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:32,200
Возможно, мы поговорим об этом
за чашечкой кофе.
69
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,120
Прекрасно!
70
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:44,080
На минуту мне показалось, что ты
точно что-то унюхал.
71
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:46,600
- Сделай ещё!
- Хорошо!
72
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,640
- Как хорошо!
- Сделай ещё.
73
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:54,080
Проклятье, Брейвермен!
Вот же он на тележке!
74
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,920
Мне пора на работу. Я должен
проверить большую кость динозавра.
75
00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,120
Нет, это моё.
76
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,080
А,.. точно.
77
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:08,000
О, спасибо.
Я не могла ...
78
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,440
Всё ли в порядке?
79
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,240
Нет, неа...
80
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,840
Одна из моих клиенток умерла на
массажном столе сегодня.
81
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,640
О, боже мой!
82
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:24,280
Немного больше расслабилась,
чем ты того хотела.
83
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,920
Ей было, знаете ли, 82 года...
84
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:31,160
... и её звали Миссис Эйделмен.
85
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,160
О, дорогая.
86
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,840
Да, так странно. Знаете...
87
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,640
...возможно, она проснулась сегодня
утром и подумала ...
88
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,440
...Сейчас позавтракаю, пройдусь,
потом пойду на массаж...
89
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:46,200
Только она не знала, что бог подумал:
"Ладно. Вот и хватит".
90
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,920
Но самое странное то, ...
91
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,200
Я чистила ей ауру,
когда это случилось.
92
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,000
И когда её дух
оставил тело ...
93
00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,160
...не думаю, что он
ушёл далеко.
94
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,040
Что ты имеешь в виду?
95
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:06,000
Я думаю, он вошёл в меня.
96
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,120
Это так тяжело.
97
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,320
Я не могу выбрать -
ягнёнка или утку.
98
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,120
Ну, ягнята страшнее.
99
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:23,080
Иначе фильм бы назвали:
"Молчание уток".
100
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,640
Так, кто что заказывал?
101
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:29,320
У меня был полувыпитый капучино
с губной помадой на краю.
102
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,680
А это с сигаретным бычком -
оно без кофеина?
103
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,440
О, боже.
104
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,680
Ты слишком уж волнуешься из-за
приезда твоей мамы.
105
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,040
Я знаю. Просто я не хочу, чтобы
она думала, что от того...
106
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,680
...что я не вышла замуж за Барри,
моя жизнь стала дерьмом.
107
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,600
Кстати, о дерьме, послушала я
тут Стеллу Нейдман ...
108
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:50,480
...она рассказывала про Рода Стайгера
уже в сотый раз.
109
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:57,040
Фибс? Как ты думаешь, сколько времени
эта леди будет с нами?
110
00:06:57,280 --> 00:07:00,560
Не знаю. Очевидно, что у неё
здесь какие-то незаконченные дела.
111
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,280
Сядь!
112
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,120
Вот и она!
113
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,560
- Мам!
- Привет, родная!
114
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,520
Так вот ты где работаешь!
115
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,840
О, тут прекрасно!
116
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:23,160
Это прихожая?
Или ресторан? Кто скажет?
117
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,000
Кажется здесь весело.
118
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,160
Довольно таки.
Вот, познакомься с моими друзьями.
119
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,120
Моника!
Ты выглядишь потрясающе!
120
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:35,040
Ой, ой! В последний раз, когда я
видела тебя, ты ела или уже поела.
121
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,760
Это Джоуи.
122
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,040
Это Фиби.
123
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,440
Это Чендлер.
124
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:40,680
Помнишь Росса?
125
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,000
А, привет, Росс.
126
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,520
Мсс. Грин.
127
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:48,440
Как вам нравится моя дочь
в переднике ...
128
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:49,920
... на важной работе!
129
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,440
Ах, мам!
130
00:07:52,580 --> 00:07:57,500
Если ты не нальёшь кофе,
то никто ничего не будет пить.
131
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:01,780
Поверьте мне,
иногда такое случается.
132
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,240
Это так восхитительно!
Знаешь, я никогда не работала.
133
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:08,560
Я прошла из дома моего отца
в дом благородных девиц ...
134
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,320
... и в дом моего мужа.
Я так горжусь тобой!
135
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,360
Правда?
136
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,800
Я вспомнила, кого вы мне
напоминаете.
137
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,040
Эвелин Дармер.
138
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:24,480
Только перед неудачной подтяжкой лица.
Сейчас она выглядит как Супи Сейлс.
139
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,800
Фибс? Кто такая Эвелин Дармер?
140
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,880
Не знаю.
А кто такая Супи Сейлс?
141
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,240
О, боже мой!
142
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,760
Там непривлекательный голый
мужчина играет на виолончели.
143
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:45,400
Радуйся, что он не играет
на чём-нибудь маленьком.
144
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,960
Хорошо тебе тут живётся, родная!
145
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,520
Мам, я понимаю, что ты расстроилась,
когда я не вышла за Барри,...
146
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,160
и не заимела дом на окраине
со всеми удобствами.
147
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,400
Но это настолько
лучше для меня,...
148
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:03,360
Я понимаю.
Ты не любила Барри, дорогая.
149
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,000
И я никогда не видела тебя
такой счастливой.
150
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:11,120
Я смотрю на тебя и думаю:
"Вот этого я бы хотела..."
151
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,960
Мне.
152
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,520
Ну, не только тебе.
153
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,640
Как это?
154
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:24,280
Я решила покинуть
твоего отца.
155
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,940
Хорошо. Скажите мне сразу, если
это черезчур уж миленько.
156
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:32,280
Лесбийская свадьба...-
куриные грудки.
157
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:37,640
О, боже.
Мне сейчас поплохеет.
158
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:43,080
Что? Я же не собираюсь
ставить маленькие сосочки на них.
159
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,360
- И ты не знаешь причин?
- Ни одной.
160
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:48,920
Они не ссорились?
161
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,720
Нет, они даже не разговаривали
друг с другом.
162
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:55,880
Откуда я могла узнать, что
у них есть проблемы?
163
00:09:56,120 --> 00:10:00,380
Ты знаешь, в моё время
развод был недопустим.
164
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,240
Эй, глядите, кто проснулся!
165
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,960
Я не могу в это поверить!
166
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,760
Когда я была маленькой,
все родители разводились.
167
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:13,060
Я подумала, что когда вырасту,
то не буду волноваться из-за этого.
168
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,060
Может она гордится тобой?
169
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,120
Вот и хочет быть как ты.
170
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,440
Тогда, может, лучше бы она постриглась
так же как я?
171
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:25,400
Когда мои родители разводились,
они отослали меня к няньке...
172
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,560
...и она рассказала мне, что
дети всегда винят в этом себя.
173
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:32,120
И в твоём случае,
похоже, что это правда.
174
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,120
О, это он.
175
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:38,360
Проклятье! Мой заказной дедушка
ещё не пришёл.
176
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,240
- Фиби?
- Здравствуйте, Мр. Эйделмен.
177
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,280
- Приятно увидеть вас.
- Спасибо, что пришли ко мне.
178
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:47,980
Всё хорошо. Хотя вы и прервали моё
сегодняшнее серьёзное занятие сидением.
179
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,600
Хотите присесть?
180
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:54,380
Нет, я провожу большую часть утра,
пытаясь встать.
181
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,900
Чем могу услужить вам,
моя дорогая?
182
00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,000
Так, я не знаю как сказать
это, но...
183
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,840
...я думаю, что когда дух вашей жены
оставил её тело...
184
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,440
...он как-то застрял...
185
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,120
...во мне.
186
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,400
Вы утверждаете,
что моя жена в вас?
187
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,560
Да. Вы можете мне не верить,
но...
188
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,920
...можете ли вы припомнить какое-то
её незавершённое дело?
189
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,040
Какую-нибудь причину задержаться?
190
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,840
Не знаю что и сказать.
191
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,200
Всё, что я могу вспомнить, это...
192
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:26,640
...что она перед смертью хотела
увидеть всё.
193
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,120
- Всё?
- Всё.
194
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:30,800
Многовато получается.
195
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,080
А, стой, я ...
196
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:38,200
Я вспомнил, что она ещё хотела
переспать со мной в последний раз.
197
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,780
Извините.
У меня в голове смех.
198
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,780
Промазал, а?
199
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,920
Посмотри сюда!
200
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,960
Эти с Хелоуина, три года назад.
201
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,040
О, смотри, а вот и Барри.
202
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,200
Он приехал прямо из конторы?
203
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:09,960
О, нет.
Это был его костюм.
204
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:15,240
Видишь, он же ортодонтист,
а пришёл туда как простой дантист.
205
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:16,520
Ребята?
206
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,680
Помните, я говорила, что
мне не нужна ваша помощь?
207
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,320
Вобще, мне показалось, ты говорила...
208
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,520
"Не трогай это и выметайся
из моей кухни!"
209
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,920
Правда? Странно.
В любом случае ...
210
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,960
Я всё спланировала хорошо.
Я планировала и планировала.
211
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,840
Просто я не спланировала достаточно
времени, чтобы это всё сделать.
212
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:38,040
- Мон, тебе нужна помощь?
- Если желаете.
213
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,440
Какой денёк!
214
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,760
Я водила её везде.
215
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:50,000
В музей современного искуства,
Центр Рокфеллера...
216
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,640
... на статую Свободы.
217
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,080
Она ещё с тобой?
218
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:57,720
Да. Мне кажется, что она ещё
не всё посмотрела.
219
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:02,280
Щас вернусь. Ей опять надо
в туалет.
220
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,680
Какое славное личико!
221
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,960
Ах, как здорово!
Только девочки.
222
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,840
Знаете, что нам надо сделать?
У кого-нибудь есть марихуана?
223
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,360
Боже!
224
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,000
Так, никто не будет курить
возле этих блюд.
225
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,000
Ну, прекрасно.
226
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:29,480
Я никогда этого не делала.
Я просто хотела попробовать.
227
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,640
Что нового в сексе?
228
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,640
Что нового в сексе?
229
00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:38,340
Единственный мужчина, с которым
я была - это твой отец.
230
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,520
Я режу. Я режу.
Я ничего не слышу.
231
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:44,960
Это не в укор твоему отцу,
но я подумала,...
232
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,400
...что могло бы быть больше.
233
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,900
Знаешь что? Я не могу об этом
больше говорить с тобой.
234
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:50,920
Хорошо.
235
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:55,140
Боже, ты же вошла сюда и бросила на
меня эту бомбу прежде, чем сказать папе.
236
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,780
Ты хочешь моего благословения?
Хочешь поговорить обо всём этом??
237
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,240
Так чего же ты хочешь?
238
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,780
Я думаю, мне показалось, что
ты можешь меня понять.
239
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,460
Почему на всей Земле
я одна могу это понять?
240
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,100
Ты же не вышла за своего Барри,
дорогая.
241
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,560
А я вышла за своего.
242
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,040
Мы в беде. У нас осталось только лишь
12 часов и 36 минут.
243
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,160
Быстрее, быстрее!
244
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:28,040
У меня чувство, что к тебе надо
писать субтитры на немецком.
245
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:29,640
Джоуи, поторопись!
246
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:34,640
Извини! Это же свиньи!
Они всё время выскальзывают из одеяла.
247
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,320
Моника, как же так произошло?
Я думала, что ты всё спланировала.
248
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,040
Хочешь, чтобы я расплакалась?
249
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,080
Ты этого хочешь?
250
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,600
Хочешь видеть, как я плачу?
251
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,160
СЕР!, НЕТ СЕР!
252
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,240
Хорошо, а ты!
253
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:55,000
Нет. Слушай, я же сказал:
Я в этом не участвую.
254
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:59,500
Слушай, Росс. Я знаю, что у тебя не просто
с Керол и Сьюзен, и я сочувствую тебе.
255
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,660
Но если ты не поможешь, то
я возьму эти хотдоги ...
256
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:06,580
...и создам закуску под названием:
Свиньи в Россе.
257
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,040
Так, чисть дыню.
258
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,760
А что это я всё режу, когда
он получает чистку дыни?!
259
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,040
- Как дела?
- Прекрасно! Всё по расписанию.
260
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,880
У меня есть маленькие,
счастливые помощники.
261
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,280
Прекрасно. Да всё равно.
262
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:26,440
Что случилось?
263
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,000
Ничего.
264
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:33,360
Так, всё.
Мне кажется, свадьба отменяется.
265
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,280
Но ты же мне заплатишь?
266
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,080
...Или что-то менее корыстное.
267
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,160
Керол, что такое?
Что случилось?
268
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,560
Мои родители позвонили сказать,
что они не приедут.
269
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,000
Я знала, что это всё
им не нравится, но ...
270
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:53,360
...они же мои родители.
Они должны меня выдать замуж.
271
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,240
Мы с Сьюзен поссорились из-за
этого и, может быть, отменим свадьбу.
272
00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,280
Она говорит: "Это не для них,
это для нас."
273
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,760
И если я так не думаю, то
следует отменить свадьбу.
274
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,360
Я не знаю, что мне делать.
275
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:12,240
Я не верю, что я говорю это,
но я думаю, что Сьюзен права.
276
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:13,960
Ты думаешь?
277
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:19,860
Ты любишь её? Только не надо
бурно расписывать подробности.
278
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,200
Конечно люблю.
279
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,920
Ну, вот и ответ.
280
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:29,100
Если Джордж и Аделаида не понимают
этого, - ну и чёрт с ними.
281
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,340
Если бы мои родители не хотели бы,
чтоб я женился на тебе...
282
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,940
...то это меня не остановило бы.
283
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,240
Понимаешь, это твоя свадьба.
284
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,960
Женись.
285
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,720
Ты прав.
Конечно, ты прав.
286
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,440
Тогда всё продолжается?
287
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:46,800
Всё продолжается.
288
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:51,580
Вы слышали, что она сказала!
Чистите! Режьте! Дьявол!
289
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:55,780
Не могу поверить,
что потеряла две минуты!
290
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,840
Кажется всё тщетно.
291
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:11,380
Прикинь?
Столько женщин, и ... ничего!
292
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:16,020
Чувствую себя как Супермен
без всех своих способностей, прикинь.
293
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:21,280
Типа у меня есть плащ, но
летать я ещё не могу.
294
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:26,300
Ну, теперь ты понимаешь, как
я чувствую себя каждый божий день.
295
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,760
Мир - это моя лесбийская свадьба.
296
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,320
Ириску?
297
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,800
Не хотите?
298
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:48,080
Хорошо, потом
пожалеете.
299
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,080
- Спасибо.
- Пожалуйста.
300
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,560
Росс.
301
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,600
Ничто не делает Господа счастливее...
302
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,960
... чем два человека, любых два человека,
соединяющихся в любви.
303
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,920
Друзья, родные, мы собрались
здесь сегодня...
304
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,640
...чтобы соединить Керол и Сьюзен
в святом браке.
305
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,240
О, боже мой!
306
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,080
Вот теперь я всё видела!
307
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,200
Она ушла!
308
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,400
Она ушла!
309
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:53,520
Она ушла.
310
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:57,680
Продолжайте, женитесь.
Ну же, ну!
311
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,800
Strangers in the night
312
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,160
Exchanging glances
313
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,000
Wondering in the night
314
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,560
Только посмотри на них.
315
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,560
Да... Это не поможет.
316
00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:17,960
Как вам нравятся эти
свиньи-под-одеялом?
317
00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:21,780
Я скручивал этих гадёнышей.
318
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:22,920
Мне не хватает Розы.
319
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:23,960
Вот как?
320
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:28,840
Я понимаю, что это странновато, но
она была частью моей жизни...
321
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,240
Не знаю, я чувствую себя одинокой.
322
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:36,760
Знаешь, я не подслушивала, что
ты сейчас говорила,
323
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:41,240
Но я думаю, что пора забыть Розу
и жить дальше.
324
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,000
Может, возьмём тебе выпить?
325
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,400
Ладно. Как приятно!
326
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:57,480
Мне даже не стоит и пытаться
встать в очередь, правда?
327
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,040
Эй, мам, веселишься?
328
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:05,500
Ещё бы! Я только что танцевала
с невероятно большой женщиной.
329
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:09,020
А ещё три девчонки строили
мне глазки возле буфета.
330
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,740
Я не утверждаю, что это
что-то, в чём я хотела бы участвовать...
331
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,480
...но приятно сознавать, что
у тебя есть выбор.
332
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,280
Тут есть ещё выпивка, так?
333
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,280
Как дела?
334
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,880
Ты сделал хорошее дело сегодня.
335
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,440
Хочешь потанцевать?
336
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,920
Нет, спасибо.
337
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,560
Давай.
338
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,080
Я позволю тебе вести.
339
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,140
Слушай, пенис - шменис!..
340
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,680
Так ведь? Мы все люди.
341
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:18,060
Кто из нас будет первым в браке?
342
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:19,720
Мон, я уже был в браке.
343
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,780
- Да, я тоже, технически.
- У меня была свадьба.
344
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,860
Я просто стараюсь
начать разговор.
345
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:31,260
Как вы думаете, кто будет
последним в браке?
346
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,080
Разве не Бен?
347
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:36,080
Ну, конечно!
348
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,600
Абсолютно.
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