1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:04,400
Hey! You're not gonna believe this.
2
00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,200
I made up a joke
and sent it in to Playboy.
3
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,900
They printed it.
4
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,100
I didn't know they print jokes.
5
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:16,000
They print jokes, interviews,
hard-hitting journalism.
6
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,900
It's not just about the pictures.
7
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,500
Didn't work on Mom,
it's not gonna work on us.
8
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,700
Check it out. It's the first one.
9
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:26,300
Right there.
10
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:30,100
That is funny.
11
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,300
It was also funny when I made it up.
12
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,300
-What?
-I made that joke up.
13
00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:38,300
No, you didn't. I did.
14
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:42,800
Yes, I did. I told Dan and he said it
was the funniest he'd joke ever heard.
15
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,000
Hey, tell Dan thanks.
16
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,300
What?
17
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:54,100
I was just reading the joke below it.
Man, that one is funny.
18
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,500
Monica, you remember me
telling you that joke, right?
19
00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:01,500
-No.
-Seriously?
20
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,700
You tell a lot of jokes.
21
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,600
Look, it's my joke.
22
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,100
But if it makes you feel better,
they don't print the name.
23
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:12,700
So it doesn't really matter
who gets credit.
24
00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:13,800
Yeah, I guess.
25
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,600
-Hey, guys.
-Playboy printed my joke!
26
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,500
No, it's mine! Call them!
They'll tell you!
27
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:20,800
-My joke!
-My joke!
28
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,300
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
29
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,300
Jokes? What. . .?
30
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:27,000
You know there's naked chicks
in there, right?
31
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,200
The One With The Joke
32
00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:10,000
Dude! You have got to turn on
Behind The Music.
33
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,600
The band Heart is having a tough
time and they may break up.
34
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,700
Let's watch that at your place.
35
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,200
Monica's watching a show. I don't
want to miss when they were skinny.
36
00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:22,300
Hey, Chandler?
You know what we should do?
37
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,000
You and I should go out
and get some new sunglasses.
38
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,600
What? No, I want to watch this.
39
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:34,800
-Did your cable go out?
-No. No, that's VH1 .
40
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,800
I tell you, the music
these kids listen to today. . .
41
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,500
. . .it's a lot of noise to me.
42
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,200
Why is your cable out?
43
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,900
Oh, because I haven't really
paid the bill.
44
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,500
If you need money,
would you please let me loan you some?
45
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:53,000
No, Chandler. Forget about it, okay?
46
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:57,100
I know things have been tight since
Janine moved out. God, was she hot.
47
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,000
I know, yeah.
48
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:03,100
Look, I can handle it, all right?
I can listen to the radio.
49
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:06,200
And Ross gave me this great book.
50
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,400
Want to see if the joke stealer
will let us watch at his place?
51
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:11,800
Sure.
52
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:15,300
-Paid your phone bill?
-No.
53
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,600
It's only you.
54
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,900
-What are you doing?
-Looking at a Playboy.
55
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,200
I want to look too!
56
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,600
Yikes!
57
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,400
Do you think these pictures
are trying to tell a story?
58
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,600
Sure. Like in the case
of this young woman. . .
59
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,000
. . .she has lost her clothes.
60
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:51,000
So she rides naked on the horse,
she's crying out, "Where are they?"
61
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,400
She's not gonna find them,
lying in the grass like that.
62
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:02,400
Remember the days when you'd
go out to the barn. . .
63
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,600
. . .Iift up your shirt and bend over?
64
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,600
You see, now, I would date this girl.
65
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,400
She's cute, she's outdoorsy.
66
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,600
And she knows how to build a fire.
That'll come in handy.
67
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:19,300
I got a question.
68
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:23,000
If you had to pick one of us to date,
who would it be?
69
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,500
-I don't know.
-Me neither.
70
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,000
Rachel.
71
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,100
What?
72
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,400
I don't know.
73
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,400
Me neither.
74
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:42,000
You know, you forget how many
great songs Heart had.
75
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,400
"Barracuda" was the first song
I learned to play on the keyboard.
76
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,000
So you heard it, you repeated it. . .
77
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:53,800
. . .so that must mean you wrote it.
78
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,500
You guys with this joke.
Well, I gotta say. . .
79
00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:01,400
. . .I know I cracked up,
but I'm not even sure I got it.
80
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,000
What?
81
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:04,900
You didn't get it?
82
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:07,700
The doctor is a monkey.
83
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,200
And monkeys
can't write out prescriptions.
84
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:16,200
You are not allowed
to laugh at my joke.
85
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,400
Your joke?
86
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,400
Well, I think the Hef
would disagree.
87
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:23,900
Which is why he sent me a check. . .
88
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:26,200
. . .for $1 00.
89
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,600
So you stole my joke
and you stole my money?
90
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,800
I was gonna stick it in the ATM.
91
00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:34,800
But now I think I'll show
the sexy teller. . .
92
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,800
. . .that I am a published writer.
93
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,100
She'll know that you stole the joke.
94
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:41,800
You gonna follow me there?
95
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,700
-Yeah.
-I'm not gonna go now.
96
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,200
Okay.
97
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:49,200
Here you go.
98
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,400
Gunther?
99
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:56,300
I can't pay now,
because I'm not working.
100
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:59,000
I've had to cut down
on some luxuries like. . .
101
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,600
. . .paying for stuff, so. . . .
102
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,200
Well, if you want, you can work here.
103
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,200
I don't know.
104
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,600
It's just. . . .
105
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:12,200
See, I was a regular on a soap opera,
you know?
106
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,200
And to go from that to this,
it's just. . . .
107
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,200
And plus, I'd have to wait
on all my friends.
108
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,100
Okay. But the money's good.
109
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:23,000
Plus, you get to stare at Rachel
as much as you want.
110
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,800
What?
111
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,000
Flexible hours.
112
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,000
Maybe I could be a waiter.
113
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,500
Could I use the phone?
114
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,800
She picked Rachel.
115
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:46,200
She tried to back out of it, but
it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
116
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:49,400
He took my joke. He just took it.
117
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,800
This is wrong.
You know what else is wrong?
118
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,600
Phoebe picking Rachel.
119
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,700
Know who else picked Rachel? Ross.
120
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,600
Know what else Ross did?
He stole my joke.
121
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,500
I'm gonna get a joke journal,
you know?
122
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:07,000
And document the date and time
of every single one of my jokes.
123
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,400
Good idea. Know what's a bad idea?
124
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,800
-Picking Rachel.
-That's right.
125
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,900
Did you hear something?
126
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:20,100
Maybe it's the sound of Ross climbing
into my brain to steal my thoughts.
127
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,800
It's coming from the living room.
128
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,000
I finished my book.
129
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,800
-Hey, you guys.
-Hey.
130
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:42,000
Don't you guys look cute.
131
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,100
You guys make a cute couple.
132
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,100
What are you doing?
133
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,200
Just trying to re-create some of
the fun that we had at my place.
134
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,700
Remember? When you picked
Rachel over me?
135
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,800
That was funny.
136
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:59,000
-It was kind of funny.
-It wasn't funny at all!
137
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,100
Why would you do that?
138
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:04,200
Why didn't you pick me?
139
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,600
Fine.
140
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:09,800
The reason I was leaning a little
bit more toward Rachel than you. . .
141
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,800
. . .is just, you know, you're. . .
142
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,500
. . .high maintenance.
Let's go to lunch!
143
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,000
That is completely untrue.
144
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:19,500
You think I'm high maintenance?
Prove it.
145
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:23,200
You write out a list, and
we'll go through it point by point.
146
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:27,300
No, you're right, you're easygoing.
147
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:32,600
You're just not as easygoing
as Rachel. She's just more. . .
148
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,000
. . .flexible and mellow. That's all.
149
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,400
Well, people are different.
150
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,300
Rachel will do whatever you want.
You can just walk all over her.
151
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,200
What? Are you saying that I'm
a pushover? I'm not a pushover.
152
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,400
Oh, okay. You're not a pushover.
153
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:57,700
You think I'm a pushover.
Well, watch this.
154
00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:59,700
You're not invited to lunch!
155
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:02,300
What do you think?
Pretty strong, I think.
156
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,600
Come on, Monica, let's go to lunch.
157
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,800
You start working on that list.
158
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:14,100
-I cannot believe her.
-I know. Where do you want to eat?
159
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,600
-Oh, I love that Japanese place.
-I'm sick of Japanese. Not there.
160
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:21,200
Wherever you want to go is cool.
161
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,300
Oh, hey, Gunther. . .
162
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,000
. . .check this out.
163
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,000
Yeah, that Chandler cracks me up.
164
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,900
You want anything to drink?
I'm heading up there.
165
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,400
-I'll take a coffee. Thanks.
-Sure.
166
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,200
-Coffee?
-No.
167
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:46,900
Coffee? I'm going up there.
168
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,300
No, thank you.
169
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,100
You need anything?
I'm heading up there.
170
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:53,800
I'd love ice water.
171
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,400
You got it.
172
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,000
What are you doing?
173
00:09:58,300 --> 00:09:59,600
Just being friendly.
174
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,100
You're not supposed to go back there.
175
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:05,700
It's okay. Right?
176
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,000
Don't wink at me.
177
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,000
And put on your apron.
178
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,100
Okay.
179
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,800
I don't see you asking other
paying customers to put on aprons.
180
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,700
-Joey, do you work here?
-No.
181
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,400
-Waiter.
-Yeah!
182
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:32,500
What's going on?
Why didn't you tell us you work here?
183
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,900
It's kind of embarrassing. I mean,
I was an actor, now I'm a waiter.
184
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,200
It's supposed to go
the other direction.
185
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,600
So's your apron.
You're wearing it like a cape.
186
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:49,900
I mean, the job's easy
and the money's good, you know?
187
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:53,900
I guess if I'm hanging out here,
I might as well get paid for it.
188
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:57,200
I just feel kind of weird
serving you guys, you know?
189
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,500
It'll be great.
190
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,000
Come on, I did it and it was fine.
191
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,700
Why would it be weird?
192
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:05,800
Hey, Joey? Can I get some coffee?
193
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,800
It doesn't seem that weird.
194
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:11,600
I asked before.
You still haven't gotten it.
195
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:15,400
See, now it's weird again.
196
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:19,400
You're gonna make a lot of money.
Here's your first tip.
197
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,800
Don't eat yellow snow.
198
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,800
2: 1 5, coffeehouse.
199
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,600
This is great. Finally,
someone I can pass my wisdom to.
200
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,700
Let me tell you some things
I learned working here.
201
00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:38,800
First, the customer is always right.
202
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,400
A smile goes a long way.
203
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:47,600
And if anyone is ever rude to you,
sneeze muffin.
204
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,500
Thanks, Rach.
205
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:55,000
Hey, look, you guys are just terrific,
you know?
206
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,200
How about clearing out
so I can get some new customers?
207
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,400
It's all about turnover.
208
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:05,400
Seriously, can I get my coffee?
209
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,800
I'm sorry. I'll get it right now.
210
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:12,000
And since you waited,
I'll toss in a free muffin.
211
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,100
Phoebe, we'd like to talk to you.
212
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:21,800
Okay.
213
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:25,100
So, maybe I am
a little high maintenance.
214
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:28,100
And maybe Rachel is
a little bit of a pushover.
215
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:29,900
But you know what you are?
216
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,700
We are sorry to tell you this,
but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
217
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,800
That's true, I am flaky.
218
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,600
So, what, you're just okay
with being flaky?
219
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:45,400
Yeah, totally.
220
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:48,700
Then I'm okay
with being high maintenance.
221
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,700
Yeah. And I am okay
with being a pushover.
222
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:54,200
That's great. Good for you guys.
223
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,400
-I am not high maintenance!
-I am not a pushover!
224
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:01,000
-Who said you were?
-You did!
225
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,500
I'm flaky. I'll say anything.
226
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,700
Hey, Gunther.
227
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:13,200
Can you cover for me?
I got an audition.
228
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,800
No, I'm leaving to get my hair dyed.
229
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,400
I like your natural color.
230
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:25,200
It's a great part.
I'm the lead guy's best friend.
231
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,600
I wait for him and save his seat.
Listen.
232
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,800
"I'm sorry, that seat's saved. "
233
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:36,800
-That's the whole part?
-Maybe he's not his best friend.
234
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,200
I'll see you.
235
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,000
Oh, man.
236
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,900
I could totally get that part.
"I'm sorry, this seat is taken. "
237
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:48,300
-Excuse me.
-No, I didn't mean you.
238
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:49,700
But you believed me?
239
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,600
I believed you were saving this seat
for someone.
240
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,900
So you'd hire me, right?
241
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:58,600
For what?
242
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,800
Exactly!
All right, everybody listen up!
243
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,600
The coffeehouse will be closed
for about an hour.
244
00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:06,900
What?
245
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,700
It's for the kids.
246
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:11,600
Yeah, to keep the kids off drugs.
247
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,200
It's a very important issue
in this month's Playboy.
248
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,200
I'm sure you all read about it.
249
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,400
-It's my joke.
-It's my joke.
250
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,300
It's my joke.
251
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:38,000
I don't think we're gonna settle this.
252
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:40,700
Let's have Monica decide.
253
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,900
-Hey, Mon!
-Get out here!
254
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,000
-Monica?
-Okay.
255
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,500
You have to decide whose joke this is.
256
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:48,700
Why do I have to?
257
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:51,000
You're the only one that can be fair.
258
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,000
I can't be. You're my boyfriend.
259
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,200
But I'm your brother. We're family.
260
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:59,100
That's the most important thing
in the world.
261
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,700
Don't try to sway her.
262
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:05,800
I'm your only chance to have a baby.
263
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:11,000
-Okay, let's go.
-All right.
264
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,600
We'll each tell you
how we came up with the joke. . .
265
00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:18,700
. . .then you decide which one of us
is telling the truth. Me.
266
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:20,600
Chandler, you first.
267
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:24,000
I thought of the joke two months ago
at lunch with Steve.
268
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,700
-Did I meet him at Christmas?
-Can I finish?
269
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,300
You want me to pick you?
270
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:32,600
See, I would never
snap at you like that.
271
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,900
Two babies.
272
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,800
-Continue.
-Okay.
273
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:46,600
Steve said he had to go to the doctor.
And his doctor's name is Dr. Mompey.
274
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:51,600
I said, "Dr. Monkey?" And that is how
the whole Dr. Monkey thing came up.
275
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,400
Are you kidding?
276
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,400
Okay, look, I study evolution.
277
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,000
Remember? Evolution.
278
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,700
Monkey into man.
279
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,500
Plus, I'm a doctor. And. . .
280
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,600
. . .I had a monkey.
281
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,600
I'm Dr. Monkey!
282
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,400
I'm not arguing with that.
283
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,700
I've heard enough for my decision.
284
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,500
-Okay, so what--?
-Do tell.
285
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:23,800
You are both idiots.
286
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,900
It's not funny.
And it's offensive to women.
287
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:30,200
And doctors. And monkeys.
288
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,600
You shouldn't argue
over who gets credit.
289
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:38,400
You should argue over who gets blamed
for inflicting this joke on the world.
290
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:40,000
Now, let it go.
291
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,000
The joke sucks.
292
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,500
-It's your joke.
-It is not.
293
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:07,600
-Oh, my God, Chandler, there you are.
-Hi.
294
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,300
Hey, it's Phoebe and Rachel.
295
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:11,800
Why don't you tell them. . .
296
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,400
. . .what you told me about me
not being high maintenance.
297
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:21,800
Monica is a self-sufficient,
together lady.
298
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,400
Being with her
has been like being on a vacation.
299
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,500
And what may be perceived
as high maintenance. . .
300
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:34,200
. . .is merely attention to detail. . .
301
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,700
. . .and. . .
302
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,000
. . .generosity of spirit.
303
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:45,400
Wow. You know what? That is the best
fake speech I think I've ever heard.
304
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,200
Really? I've heard better.
305
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,200
Wait, he came up with that himself.
Tell them.
306
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,400
I'm out of words.
Should I say it again?
307
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,500
Look, I am not high maintenance!
308
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,500
I am not. Chandler!
309
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:03,000
You're a little high maintenance.
310
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:05,400
You are on my list!
311
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,800
Look, I'm sorry, but you're not--
312
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,700
You're not easygoing,
but you're passionate.
313
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:13,100
And that's good.
314
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:17,100
And when you get upset about little
things, I think I'm pretty good. . .
315
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,100
. . .at making you feel better.
316
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:22,100
That's good too.
They say you're high maintenance. . .
317
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,800
. . .but it's okay, because I like. . .
318
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,400
. . .maintaining you.
319
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:37,700
I didn't tell him that.
320
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,400
-You're off my list.
-I'm off the list.
321
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,000
Phoebe?
322
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,200
It's okay that you don't want me
to be your girlfriend.
323
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,100
I have the best boyfriend.
324
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,800
You know,
suddenly I find you very attractive.
325
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,400
How'd the audition go?
326
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,900
Oh, not good. No.
327
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,700
I didn't get the part.
And I lost my job here, so. . . .
328
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,700
Wow, that is a bad audition.
329
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,200
Well, how did you lose your job here?
330
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,700
I had the audition. . .
331
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:18,400
. . .but Gunther said I had to stay
so he could get his hair dyed.
332
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,700
So I went anyway, and he fired me.
333
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:23,600
He left work
to do a personal errand. . .
334
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,100
. . .and left you in charge
when you've been here two days?
335
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,600
That's not right.
336
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,800
What are you gonna do?
337
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,600
You can't let him get away with that.
338
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,900
I won't let him get away with that.
I'm gonna say--
339
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:40,300
I shouldn't say anything.
No, I should say something!
340
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,400
Gunther?
I want you to give Joey his job back.
341
00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:50,200
-It's not fair that you have to fire--
-Okay.
342
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:56,100
-What?
-He can have his job back.
343
00:19:57,500 --> 00:20:00,400
That's right,
he can have his job back.
344
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:04,200
Glad we got that all straightened out.
345
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,800
There you go, Joey.
346
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,300
-Got your job back.
-That's great. Thanks.
347
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,200
Pretty nice, huh?
Now who's a pushover?
348
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:16,000
-Rach, you're in my seat.
-I'm sorry.
349
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:24,700
I never heard who you'd pick
to be your girlfriend.
350
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,200
-I'd pick you, Phoebe.
-Yeah, definitely you, Pheebs.
351
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,900
Yeah, I kind of thought.
352
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:36,000
-Never.
-It would totally be you.
353
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,400
If you had to pick one
of the other two to go out with. . .
354
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,000
. . .who would you pick?
355
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:44,600
-No way.
-I'm not answering.
356
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,200
Joey.
357
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,600
No way, I'm not answering that.
|
1
00:00:04,683 --> 00:00:06,776
Эй, вы в это не поверите.
2
00:00:06,952 --> 00:00:11,355
Да, Росс, мы знаем, что существуют
журналы с фото обнажённых женщин.
3
00:00:11,523 --> 00:00:13,582
Не говорите ему про видео.
4
00:00:15,027 --> 00:00:17,757
Я выдумал шутку и отправил её в Playboy.
5
00:00:18,030 --> 00:00:19,554
А они её напечатали.
6
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,925
Я не знала, что они печатают шутки.
7
00:00:24,169 --> 00:00:26,933
Они публикуют шутки, интервью,
мощную публицистику.
8
00:00:27,139 --> 00:00:28,936
Там не только фотографии.
9
00:00:29,174 --> 00:00:31,665
Мама над ними не смеялась,
и мы не будем.
10
00:00:32,711 --> 00:00:34,941
Смотрите. Самая первая.
11
00:00:36,415 --> 00:00:37,712
Прямо здесь.
12
00:00:40,352 --> 00:00:41,580
Смешно.
13
00:00:41,853 --> 00:00:43,946
Когда я её придумал, тоже смешно было.
14
00:00:46,124 --> 00:00:48,092
- Что?
- Эту шутку придумал я.
15
00:00:48,293 --> 00:00:50,193
Нет, не ты. Это я её придумал.
16
00:00:50,395 --> 00:00:54,889
Нет, я. Я рассказал её Дэну, а он сказал,
что это самая смешная шутка из всех, что он слышал.
17
00:00:55,133 --> 00:00:57,124
Передай Дэну спасибо.
18
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:02,698
Что?
19
00:01:02,908 --> 00:01:06,639
Я прочитала шутку ниже твоей.
Боже, она, действительно, смешная.
20
00:01:09,081 --> 00:01:12,312
Моника, ты ведь помнишь, как я
рассказывал тебе эту шутку, так?
21
00:01:12,751 --> 00:01:14,378
- Нет.
- Неужели?
22
00:01:14,820 --> 00:01:16,651
Ты часто шутишь.
23
00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:19,650
Слушай, это моя шутка.
24
00:01:19,925 --> 00:01:23,326
Но если тебе станет легче,
они не печатают имена.
25
00:01:23,595 --> 00:01:25,995
Поэтому авторство
не имеет значения.
26
00:01:26,231 --> 00:01:27,596
Да, наверное.
27
00:01:27,766 --> 00:01:30,132
- Привет, народ.
- В Плэйбое напечатали мою шутку.
28
00:01:30,335 --> 00:01:33,168
Нет, она моя. Позвони им.
Они тебе скажут.
29
00:01:33,438 --> 00:01:34,462
- Это моя шутка.
- Нет, моя.
30
00:01:34,773 --> 00:01:36,138
Стойте-стойте.
31
00:01:36,408 --> 00:01:38,205
Шутки? Вы что?
32
00:01:38,410 --> 00:01:40,970
Вы не знаете, что там внутри
голые девушки?
33
00:01:43,315 --> 00:01:45,408
Эпизод с Шуткой.
34
00:02:21,386 --> 00:02:24,150
Чувак, включай Behind The Music. (ТВ-шоу на канале
VH1)
35
00:02:24,389 --> 00:02:27,984
У группы Heart тяжелые времена
и они могут распасться.
36
00:02:28,226 --> 00:02:30,194
Давай посмотрим у тебя дома.
37
00:02:30,395 --> 00:02:33,831
Моника смотрит шоу. Я не хочу пропустить тот момент,
когда они были худыми
38
00:02:34,499 --> 00:02:37,024
Эй, Чендлер?
Знаешь, что мы должны сделать?
39
00:02:37,335 --> 00:02:40,896
Мы с тобой должны пойти
и купить новые солнцезащитные очки.
40
00:02:41,273 --> 00:02:43,571
Что? Нет, я хочу посмотреть шоу.
41
00:02:46,411 --> 00:02:50,108
- У тебя отключено кабельное?
- Нет. Нет, это VH1
42
00:02:50,449 --> 00:02:53,213
Нынешняя молодёжь такую музыку
слушает, скажу я тебе.
43
00:02:53,418 --> 00:02:54,908
Для меня это просто шум.
44
00:02:57,589 --> 00:02:58,851
Почему у тебя отключено кабельное?
45
00:02:59,524 --> 00:03:02,687
Потому что я за него
не заплатил.
46
00:03:03,195 --> 00:03:06,392
Если тебе нужны деньги,
позволь мне одолжить их тебе.
47
00:03:06,698 --> 00:03:09,064
Нет, Чендлер, забудь об этом.
48
00:03:09,301 --> 00:03:13,260
Я знаю, что дела шли тяжело с тех пор, как Жанин
съехала. Боже, она была так горяча
49
00:03:14,072 --> 00:03:15,300
Я знаю.
50
00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:19,533
Послушай, я разберусь с эти, хорошо?
Я могу слушать радио.
51
00:03:19,745 --> 00:03:22,771
И Росс дал мне отличную книгу.
52
00:03:23,582 --> 00:03:27,211
Проверим, может, похититель шуток
пустит нас к себе посмотреть это шоу.
53
00:03:27,452 --> 00:03:28,714
Конечно.
54
00:03:30,822 --> 00:03:32,289
- Ты оплатил счет за телефон?
- Нет.
55
00:03:42,467 --> 00:03:44,128
Это ты.
56
00:03:44,903 --> 00:03:47,497
- Чем занимаетесь?
- Смотрим Плэйбой.
57
00:03:47,806 --> 00:03:48,898
Я тоже хочу посмотреть.
58
00:03:52,177 --> 00:03:53,508
Ого.
59
00:03:55,113 --> 00:03:58,480
Как вы думаете, пытаются ли эти снимки
поведать нам какую-то историю?
60
00:03:59,084 --> 00:04:01,746
Конечно. Например, вот эта
молодая женщина...
61
00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:04,250
потеряла свою одежду.
62
00:04:04,489 --> 00:04:09,483
Она скачет на лошади обнажённая
и кричит: "Где же она?"
63
00:04:10,762 --> 00:04:14,129
Она её не найдёт, если будет лежать в траве вот
так.
64
00:04:18,804 --> 00:04:21,329
Помните дни, когда вы
забегали в амбар...
65
00:04:21,606 --> 00:04:23,699
снимали блузки и наклонялись?
66
00:04:27,879 --> 00:04:31,007
Знаете, а я бы стала встречаться с этой девушкой.
67
00:04:31,216 --> 00:04:33,844
Она милая и любит бывать на свежем воздухе.
68
00:04:34,152 --> 00:04:37,280
И она знает, как развести огонь.
Это могло бы пригодиться.
69
00:04:37,989 --> 00:04:39,013
У меня вопрос.
70
00:04:39,391 --> 00:04:42,883
Если бы вам нужно выбрать между нами, с кем встречаться,
кого бы вы выбрали?
71
00:04:43,829 --> 00:04:45,456
- Я не знаю.
- Я тоже.
72
00:04:45,697 --> 00:04:47,062
Рейчел.
73
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,224
Что?
74
00:04:50,836 --> 00:04:52,736
Я не знаю.
75
00:04:53,505 --> 00:04:54,802
Я тоже.
76
00:04:58,643 --> 00:05:02,704
Стали забывать, сколько
классных песен было у Heart.
77
00:05:04,482 --> 00:05:08,350
"Барракуда" была первой песней,
которую я научился играть на синтезаторе.
78
00:05:09,421 --> 00:05:12,083
Ты её услышал, ты её повторил...
79
00:05:12,357 --> 00:05:15,053
значит, ты её и написал.
80
00:05:17,095 --> 00:05:19,859
Вы все об этой шутке?
Должен сказать,...
81
00:05:20,165 --> 00:05:22,895
что она меня рассмешила,
но я не уверен, что вообще её понял.
82
00:05:23,335 --> 00:05:24,563
Что?
83
00:05:25,270 --> 00:05:26,567
Ты её не понял?
84
00:05:26,771 --> 00:05:29,501
Доктор - обезьяна.
85
00:05:30,609 --> 00:05:33,169
А обезьяны
не смогут выписать рецепты.
86
00:05:35,747 --> 00:05:38,375
Тебя нельзя
смеяться над моей шуткой.
87
00:05:39,284 --> 00:05:40,683
Твоей шуткой?
88
00:05:40,919 --> 00:05:43,786
Что ж, думаю, Хеф (Хью Хефнер - основатель и шеф-редактор
Плэйбоя) с тобой не согласен.
89
00:05:44,089 --> 00:05:46,387
Поэтому он и прислал мне чек...
90
00:05:46,591 --> 00:05:48,786
на 100 долларов.
91
00:05:49,027 --> 00:05:52,360
Получается, ты украл не только мою шутку, но и
мои деньги?
92
00:05:52,697 --> 00:05:54,631
Я собирался обналичить его в банкомате
93
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:57,801
Но сейчас я думаю показать сексуальной кассирше
в банке...
94
00:05:58,036 --> 00:06:00,869
что я публикуемый автор.
95
00:06:01,072 --> 00:06:03,267
Она узнает, что ты украл шутку.
96
00:06:03,541 --> 00:06:05,031
Ты собираешься идти за мной?
97
00:06:05,243 --> 00:06:07,074
- Да.
- Сейчас я туда не собираюсь.
98
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:08,610
Ладно.
99
00:06:11,383 --> 00:06:12,782
Держи.
100
00:06:15,921 --> 00:06:17,115
Гантер.
101
00:06:17,656 --> 00:06:20,124
Я не могу сейчас заплатить,
я пока не работаю.
102
00:06:20,392 --> 00:06:22,986
Мне пришлось отказаться от
такой роскоши, как..
103
00:06:23,228 --> 00:06:25,719
платы за что-то, поэтому..
104
00:06:27,399 --> 00:06:29,458
Что ж, если хочешь, можешь работать здесь.
105
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:31,564
Даже не знаю.
106
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:33,067
Это просто...
107
00:06:33,505 --> 00:06:36,770
Видищь ли, я снимался в мыльной опере,
понимаешь?
108
00:06:36,975 --> 00:06:39,910
И стать после этого официантом..
109
00:06:40,178 --> 00:06:42,942
К тому же, мне ведь придётся
обслуживать моих друзей.
110
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:44,942
Ладно. Но деньги хорошие.
111
00:06:45,183 --> 00:06:48,016
Плюс, ты можешь сколько угодно
пялиться на Рейчел.
112
00:06:50,689 --> 00:06:51,986
Что?
113
00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:54,283
Гибкий график.
114
00:06:55,527 --> 00:06:57,324
Может, я и смогу быть официантом.
115
00:06:57,595 --> 00:06:58,960
Можно пользоваться телефоном?
116
00:07:06,304 --> 00:07:07,601
Она выбрала Рейчел.
117
00:07:07,806 --> 00:07:12,209
Потом она пыталась отвертеться, но
все и так ясно. Она выбрала Рейчел.
118
00:07:12,711 --> 00:07:15,544
Он украл мою шутку. Он украл её.
119
00:07:16,381 --> 00:07:19,043
Это неправильно.
Знаешь, что еще неправильно?
120
00:07:19,284 --> 00:07:21,013
То, что Фиби выбрала Рейчел.
121
00:07:21,286 --> 00:07:23,151
Знаешь, кто еще выбрал Рейчел? Росс.
122
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:26,222
Знаешь, что еще он сделал?
Он украл мою шутку.
123
00:07:27,859 --> 00:07:30,225
Знаешь, что? Я заведу
журнал.
124
00:07:30,495 --> 00:07:33,896
И буду записывать дату и время
каждой придуманной мной шутки.
125
00:07:34,132 --> 00:07:36,396
Прекрасная идея. А знаешь, какая плохая?
126
00:07:36,668 --> 00:07:38,966
- Выбрать Рейчел.
- Именно.
127
00:07:41,706 --> 00:07:43,173
Ты ничего не слышишь?
128
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:47,505
Наверное, это Росс лезет
в мой мозг и крадёт мои мысли.
129
00:07:48,213 --> 00:07:50,408
Это из гостиной.
130
00:07:56,688 --> 00:07:57,882
Я закончил книгу.
131
00:08:05,663 --> 00:08:08,097
- Привет.
- Привет.
132
00:08:08,366 --> 00:08:10,391
Хорошо смотритесь.
133
00:08:10,902 --> 00:08:12,563
Из вас бы вышла прекрасная пара.
134
00:08:14,272 --> 00:08:15,705
Что ты делаешь?
135
00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:20,001
Просто пытаюсь восстановить ту
веселую атмосфера, что была вчера у меня дома.
136
00:08:20,278 --> 00:08:22,542
Помнишь? Когда ты выбрала
Рейчел, а не меня?
137
00:08:22,747 --> 00:08:24,772
Было весело.
138
00:08:25,517 --> 00:08:28,111
- Да, довольно весело.
- Совсем не весело.
139
00:08:29,687 --> 00:08:31,279
Почему ты это это сделала?
140
00:08:31,556 --> 00:08:33,456
Почему не выбрала меня?
141
00:08:33,725 --> 00:08:35,056
Хорошо.
142
00:08:35,393 --> 00:08:39,386
Причина, по которой я более склонна к
Рейчел, а не тебе..
143
00:08:39,597 --> 00:08:41,462
заключается в том, что ты..
144
00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:44,260
слишком требовательная.
Пойдёмте обедать.
145
00:08:44,536 --> 00:08:46,902
Это совершенно не так.
146
00:08:47,138 --> 00:08:49,436
Ты считаешь меня слишком требовательной?
Докажи.
147
00:08:49,741 --> 00:08:53,268
Составь список, и
мы пройдёися по всем пунктам.
148
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,573
Нет, ты права, с тобой легко.
149
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:03,114
Но не так легко, как с Рейчел.
Она более..
150
00:09:03,388 --> 00:09:05,618
гибкая и мягкая. Вот и все.
151
00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:11,255
Ну, все люди разные.
152
00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:16,391
Рейчел сделает все, что ты захочешь.
Через неё можно переступить.
153
00:09:17,502 --> 00:09:21,438
Что? Ты хочешь сказать, что я
тряпка? Я не тряпка.
154
00:09:21,739 --> 00:09:24,833
Ладно. Ты не тряпка.
155
00:09:26,411 --> 00:09:29,278
Считаешь меня тряпкой.
Получай.
156
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,346
Мы не приглашаем тебя на обед.
157
00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:34,074
Что скажешь?
По-моему, сильно.
158
00:09:34,352 --> 00:09:36,582
Пойдём, Моника, пора обедать.
159
00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:40,917
Начинай составлять список.
160
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:46,355
- Поверить не могу.
- Да уж. Куда пойдём есть?
161
00:09:47,365 --> 00:09:51,165
- Я обожаю то японское заведение.
- Меня тошнит от японской еды. Только не туда.
162
00:09:51,436 --> 00:09:53,836
Пойдём, куда скажешь.
163
00:09:58,877 --> 00:10:00,139
Эй, Гантер...
164
00:10:00,445 --> 00:10:01,969
зацени.
165
00:10:04,682 --> 00:10:07,173
Да, с Чендлером ухохочешься.
166
00:10:11,356 --> 00:10:14,348
Хочешь что-нибудь выпить?
Я как раз туда направляюсь.
167
00:10:14,726 --> 00:10:16,956
- Я буду кофе, спасибо.
- Не за что.
168
00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:18,791
- Кофе?
- Нет.
169
00:10:19,030 --> 00:10:20,588
Кофе? Я все равно туда иду.
170
00:10:20,798 --> 00:10:22,026
Нет, спасибо.
171
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:26,003
Вам что-нибудь нужно?
Я как раз туда направляюсь.
172
00:10:26,504 --> 00:10:27,801
Я бы выпила воды со льдом.
173
00:10:28,006 --> 00:10:29,496
Будет сделано.
174
00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:32,206
Что ты делаешь?
175
00:10:32,477 --> 00:10:33,842
Оказываю услугу по-дружески.
176
00:10:36,047 --> 00:10:38,538
Тебе не положено туда заходить.
177
00:10:38,816 --> 00:10:40,181
Все в порядке, верно?
178
00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:43,681
Не подмигивай мне.
179
00:10:44,856 --> 00:10:46,824
И надень свой фартук.
180
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,022
Ладно.
181
00:10:50,261 --> 00:10:53,924
Что-то я не вижу, чтобы ты просил других
клиентов надевать фартук.
182
00:10:55,233 --> 00:10:57,997
- Джо, ты что, работаешь здесь?
- Нет.
183
00:10:58,203 --> 00:10:59,727
- Официант.
- Да.
184
00:11:03,107 --> 00:11:06,008
Что происходит?
Почему ты не сказал, что ты здесь работаешь?
185
00:11:09,514 --> 00:11:13,746
Мне немного неловко. Я имею в виду,
что я был актёром, а сейчас я официант.
186
00:11:13,952 --> 00:11:16,182
По логике, все обычно
происходит наоборот.
187
00:11:16,854 --> 00:11:19,550
Фартука это тоже касается.
Ты надел его как плащ.
188
00:11:20,892 --> 00:11:24,020
Понимаете, работа лёгкая,
а деньги хорошие.
189
00:11:24,229 --> 00:11:28,188
Я о том, что раз уж я и так провожу здесь время,
неплохо, если мне за это будут платить.
190
00:11:28,399 --> 00:11:31,732
Мне немного странно
обслуживать вас, понимаете?
191
00:11:31,936 --> 00:11:33,062
Все будет хорошо.
192
00:11:33,371 --> 00:11:35,737
Брось, я этим занималась и все было в порядке.
193
00:11:35,940 --> 00:11:37,498
А что здесь особенного?
194
00:11:37,709 --> 00:11:40,701
Эй, Джо? Можно мне кофе?
195
00:11:41,846 --> 00:11:43,905
И правда, ничего особенного.
196
00:11:44,115 --> 00:11:46,845
Я уже просил тебя,
а ты мне так и не принёс.
197
00:11:48,553 --> 00:11:50,748
Видишь, опять странно.
198
00:11:51,456 --> 00:11:54,892
Ты должен заработать много денег.
И вот мой первый совет.
199
00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:58,456
Не ешь жёлтый снег.
200
00:12:00,965 --> 00:12:03,627
2 часа 15 минут, кофейня.
201
00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:08,733
Отлично. Наконец-то, появился
кто-то, с кем я могу поделиться опытом.
202
00:12:08,973 --> 00:12:11,874
Давай я расскажу тебе кое-что, чему я
научилась, работая здесь.
203
00:12:13,111 --> 00:12:15,136
Во-первых, клиент всегда прав.
204
00:12:16,381 --> 00:12:18,872
На лице всегда должна быть улыбка.
205
00:12:20,618 --> 00:12:24,281
А если кто-то нагрубит тебе,
чихни на его кекс.
206
00:12:26,257 --> 00:12:27,315
Спасибо, Рейч.
207
00:12:29,127 --> 00:12:32,062
Слушайте, ребята, вы такие замечательные.
208
00:12:32,297 --> 00:12:35,391
Может, вы уйдёте отсюда,
а я получу несколько новых клиентов.
209
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,659
Нужно поддерживать оборот.
210
00:12:40,905 --> 00:12:42,839
Серьёзно, мне принесут кофе?
211
00:12:44,409 --> 00:12:46,434
Прости. Принесу сейчас же.
212
00:12:46,944 --> 00:12:49,777
А так как тебе пришлось ждать, то в подарок получишь
кекс.
213
00:12:56,187 --> 00:12:58,178
Фиби, мы хотим с тобой поговорить.
214
00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:00,018
Давайте.
215
00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:03,351
Итак, может, я и немного
требовательна.
216
00:13:03,628 --> 00:13:06,495
И может, Рейчел -
немного тряпка.
217
00:13:06,764 --> 00:13:08,425
Но знаешь, какая ты?
218
00:13:08,666 --> 00:13:12,363
Прости, что говорим тебе это,
Фиби, но ты - чокнутая.
219
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,671
Это правда, я такая.
220
00:13:19,143 --> 00:13:22,772
И что, тебя не задевает, что мы
считаем тебя чокнутой?
221
00:13:23,014 --> 00:13:24,606
Абсолютно не задевает.
222
00:13:25,483 --> 00:13:28,008
Тогда мне все равно, что ты
говоришь о моей требовательности.
223
00:13:28,219 --> 00:13:31,120
А мне все равно, что ты
считаешь меня тряпкой.
224
00:13:31,522 --> 00:13:33,683
Отлично, молодцы.
225
00:13:34,392 --> 00:13:37,122
- Я не слишком требовательная.
- Я не тряпка.
226
00:13:38,629 --> 00:13:40,859
-А кто сказал, что вы такие?
- Ты.
227
00:13:41,065 --> 00:13:43,499
Я же чокнутая. Могу сказать, что угодно.
228
00:13:49,674 --> 00:13:50,971
Эй, Гантер.
229
00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:53,541
Можешь меня прикрыть?
У меня прослушивание.
230
00:13:53,878 --> 00:13:56,346
Нет, я ухожу красить волосы.
231
00:13:58,216 --> 00:14:00,047
Мне нравится твой натуральный цвет.
232
00:14:02,587 --> 00:14:06,023
Это отличная роль. Я лучший друг главного героя
233
00:14:06,257 --> 00:14:08,589
Я жду его и занимаю ему место.
Послушай.
234
00:14:09,594 --> 00:14:11,926
"Простите, это место занято".
235
00:14:14,098 --> 00:14:18,194
- И это вся роль?
- Ну, может, он и не лучшмй его друг.
236
00:14:18,536 --> 00:14:19,662
Увидимся.
237
00:14:21,005 --> 00:14:22,563
Вот блин.
238
00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:26,574
Я прекрасно подхожу на эту роль.
"Извините, это место занято".
239
00:14:26,844 --> 00:14:30,109
- Простите.
- Нет, это не я не вам.
240
00:14:30,381 --> 00:14:31,678
Но вы мне поверили?
241
00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:35,713
Я поверил, что вы заняли
для кого-то место.
242
00:14:36,521 --> 00:14:38,079
То есть, вы бы меня наняли?
243
00:14:39,123 --> 00:14:40,954
Для чего?
244
00:14:41,526 --> 00:14:44,222
Точно.
Так, послушайте меня.
245
00:14:44,429 --> 00:14:47,193
Кофейня закрывается примерно
на час.
246
00:14:47,465 --> 00:14:49,558
Что?
247
00:14:50,034 --> 00:14:51,433
В пользу детей.
248
00:14:51,636 --> 00:14:54,400
Да, чтобы оградить детей от наркотиков.
249
00:14:54,639 --> 00:14:58,234
Это очень важная акция в этом
месяце в Плэйбое.
250
00:14:58,443 --> 00:15:00,308
Уверен, что вы о ней читали.
251
00:15:03,481 --> 00:15:06,507
Эй, вы что, не хотите оградить
детей от оружия?
252
00:15:06,684 --> 00:15:09,847
- Вы же сказали, от наркотиков.
- Это порочный круг. Выметайтесь.
253
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,214
Идите.
254
00:15:26,003 --> 00:15:28,233
- Это моя шутка.
- Нет, моя.
255
00:15:31,442 --> 00:15:33,273
Моя шутка.
256
00:15:34,812 --> 00:15:37,110
Я думаю, так мы никогда не уладим это.
257
00:15:38,282 --> 00:15:40,011
Пусть Моника решает.
258
00:15:40,685 --> 00:15:42,277
- Эй, Мон.
- Иди сюда.
259
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,488
- Моника?
- Так.
260
00:15:44,689 --> 00:15:47,021
Ты должна решить, чья это шутка.
261
00:15:47,258 --> 00:15:48,282
Почему это я должна?
262
00:15:48,493 --> 00:15:50,654
Потому что ты можешь быть беспристрастной.
263
00:15:50,928 --> 00:15:52,793
Я не могу. Ты - мой парень.
264
00:15:52,997 --> 00:15:55,124
Но я твой брат. Мы - семья.
265
00:15:55,366 --> 00:15:59,166
Это самая важная в мире
вещь.
266
00:16:01,172 --> 00:16:02,969
Не пытайся на неё влиять.
267
00:16:03,307 --> 00:16:06,208
Я твой единственный шанс родить ребёнка.
268
00:16:10,047 --> 00:16:11,514
- Ладно, поехали.
- Хорошо.
269
00:16:11,782 --> 00:16:15,377
Каждый из нас расскажет тебе,
как мы придумали эту шутку...
270
00:16:15,653 --> 00:16:19,612
а потом ты решишь, кто из нас
говорит правду. Я.
271
00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:21,519
Чендлер, начинай.
272
00:16:21,792 --> 00:16:25,159
Я придумал шутку 2 месяца назад,
когда обедал со Стивом.
273
00:16:25,396 --> 00:16:27,887
- С тем, которого я видела на Рождество?
- Я могу закончить?
274
00:16:28,165 --> 00:16:29,632
Ты хочешь, чтобы я выбрала тебя?
275
00:16:30,868 --> 00:16:34,167
Видишь, я бы никогда так
на тебя не рявкнул.
276
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,531
Двое малышей.
277
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:43,708
- Продолжай.
- Хорошо.
278
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:48,648
Стив сказал, что ему нужно к врачу. А его доктора
зовут Обезьмян.
279
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:53,914
Я сказал: "Доктор Обезьяна?". Так и
появилась шутка про Доктора Обезьяну.
280
00:16:58,329 --> 00:16:59,887
Ты что, издеваешься?
281
00:17:00,598 --> 00:17:03,032
Ладно, смотри, я изучаю эволюцию.
282
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:04,666
Помнишь? Эволюцию.
283
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,494
Обезьяны в человека.
284
00:17:06,737 --> 00:17:08,398
К тому же, я доктор. И...
285
00:17:08,673 --> 00:17:11,665
У меня была обезьяна.
286
00:17:13,844 --> 00:17:15,744
Я Доктор Обезьяна.
287
00:17:18,516 --> 00:17:20,848
С этим я спорить не буду.
288
00:17:21,185 --> 00:17:23,210
Я услышала достаточно, чтобы принять решение.
289
00:17:23,454 --> 00:17:25,046
- Ну, и что?
- Говори.
290
00:17:25,289 --> 00:17:27,519
Вы оба - идиоты.
291
00:17:29,126 --> 00:17:31,754
Это не смешно.
И оскорбительно для женщин.
292
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,090
И докторов. И обезьян.
293
00:17:35,566 --> 00:17:37,625
Вы не должны спорить о том,
кому принадлежит шутка.
294
00:17:37,902 --> 00:17:42,771
Вы должны спорить о том, кто виноват,
что эта шутка оскорбила весь мир.
295
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,405
Давайте, начинайте.
296
00:17:44,609 --> 00:17:46,770
Ваша шутка - отстой.
297
00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:54,247
- Это твоя шутка.
- Нет, твоя.
298
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:13,159
- Боже, Чендлер, вот ты где.
- Привет.
299
00:18:13,904 --> 00:18:15,929
- Эй, это же Фиби и Рейчел.
300
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,571
Почему бы тебе не рассказать им то,
301
00:18:17,775 --> 00:18:21,302
что ты говорил мне о
моей требовательности.
302
00:18:24,115 --> 00:18:27,983
Моника - независимая,
организованная девушка.
303
00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:32,755
Быть с ней - это как пребывать на каникулах
304
00:18:35,259 --> 00:18:38,023
А то, что может казаться
высокой требовательностью,
305
00:18:38,329 --> 00:18:40,923
всего-навсего, внимание к деталям...
306
00:18:41,132 --> 00:18:42,497
и...
307
00:18:43,634 --> 00:18:45,932
благородство духа.
308
00:18:47,805 --> 00:18:52,504
Да уж. Знаете, что? Это самая лучшая
фальшивая речь из всех, что я слышала.
309
00:18:52,777 --> 00:18:54,472
Серьёзно? А я слышала и получше.
310
00:18:55,513 --> 00:18:58,607
Подожди, он сам это придумал.
Скажи им.
311
00:18:59,884 --> 00:19:01,875
Я не знаю, что еще сказать.
Может, мне то повторить?
312
00:19:02,186 --> 00:19:04,120
Послушайте, я не слишком требовательная.
313
00:19:04,388 --> 00:19:06,219
Я не такая. Чендлер.
314
00:19:08,893 --> 00:19:10,952
Ты немного требовательная.
315
00:19:11,696 --> 00:19:13,357
Ты в моём списке.
316
00:19:14,965 --> 00:19:16,956
Слушай, прости, но..
317
00:19:17,168 --> 00:19:19,966
С тобой не легко,
но ты впечатлительная.
318
00:19:20,204 --> 00:19:21,466
И это хорошо.
319
00:19:21,706 --> 00:19:25,574
А когда ты расстраиваешься по мелочам,
думаю, что у меня вполне неплохо...
320
00:19:25,843 --> 00:19:27,674
получается тебя успокаивать.
321
00:19:27,912 --> 00:19:30,847
И это хорошо.
Они говорят, что ты требовательная...
322
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:33,710
но это нормально, потому что мне нравится..
323
00:19:35,419 --> 00:19:37,410
тебя поддерживать.
324
00:19:45,663 --> 00:19:47,153
Я не просила его это говорить.
325
00:19:51,402 --> 00:19:54,098
- Ты больше не в моём списке.
- Я не в списке.
326
00:19:54,538 --> 00:19:55,766
Фиби.
327
00:19:57,007 --> 00:20:00,170
Это ничего, что ты не хочешь, чтобы
я была твоей девушкой.
328
00:20:00,411 --> 00:20:02,106
У меня самый лучший парень.
329
00:20:03,547 --> 00:20:07,074
Знаешь, а ты
внезапно показалась мне очень привлекательной.
330
00:20:10,254 --> 00:20:11,744
Как прошло прослушивание?
331
00:20:12,022 --> 00:20:13,387
Плохо.
332
00:20:13,591 --> 00:20:17,288
Роль я не получил.
И эту работу потерял, так что...
333
00:20:17,528 --> 00:20:19,428
Вау, это было неудачное прослушивание
334
00:20:21,632 --> 00:20:24,123
А почему ты потерял эту работу?
335
00:20:24,401 --> 00:20:25,698
Мне назначили пробы...
336
00:20:25,903 --> 00:20:29,532
но Гантер велел мне остаться здесь,
а сам пошёл красить волосы.
337
00:20:29,774 --> 00:20:31,901
А я все равно ушел, и он меня уволил.
338
00:20:32,109 --> 00:20:35,044
Он ушел с работы
по личным делам...
339
00:20:35,246 --> 00:20:38,579
и оставил тебя за главного,
хотя ты отработал здесь только 2 дня?
340
00:20:38,816 --> 00:20:40,113
Это неправильно.
341
00:20:40,618 --> 00:20:42,518
Что ты собираешься делать?
342
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,416
Ты не можешь это так просто оставить.
343
00:20:45,656 --> 00:20:48,784
Я не позволю ему все так оставить.
Я скажу ему...
344
00:20:49,059 --> 00:20:52,324
Нет, я ничего не буду говорить.
Нет, я кое-что скажу.
345
00:20:55,666 --> 00:20:58,760
Гантер.
Я хочу, чтобы ты вернул Джоуи работу.
346
00:20:59,069 --> 00:21:02,732
- Несправделиво было его увольнять..
- Хорошо.
347
00:21:06,410 --> 00:21:08,844
- Что?
- Он может вернуться на работу.
348
00:21:10,347 --> 00:21:13,316
Вот именно.
Он вернётся к работе.
349
00:21:14,885 --> 00:21:17,319
Я рада, что мы это уладили.
350
00:21:18,622 --> 00:21:19,987
Пожалуйста, Джоуи.
351
00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:23,627
- Я вернула тебе работу.
- Отлично. Спасибо.
352
00:21:23,861 --> 00:21:26,694
Как я его, да?
И кто теперь тряпка?
353
00:21:27,431 --> 00:21:29,626
- Рейч, ты села на мое место.
- Прости.
354
00:21:35,372 --> 00:21:37,966
Я так и не услышала, кого бы вы
выбрали своей девушкой?
355
00:21:38,142 --> 00:21:41,600
- Я бы выбрала тебя, Фиби.
- Да, определённо тебя, Фибс.
356
00:21:41,812 --> 00:21:43,404
Я так и думала.
357
00:21:47,117 --> 00:21:49,745
- Ни за что.
- Это точно будешь ты.
358
00:21:51,989 --> 00:21:55,322
Если бы вам пришлось выбирать между собой себе
парня...
359
00:21:55,593 --> 00:21:57,026
кого бы вы выбрали?
360
00:21:57,328 --> 00:21:58,659
- Ну, уж нет.
- Я не буду отвечать.
361
00:21:58,929 --> 00:22:00,419
Джоуи.
362
00:22:03,367 --> 00:22:05,927
Ну, уж нет, я не буду отвечать на это.
|