| \
2
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:03,961
Oh. Hey, Ross.
3
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:07,923
I'm so glad someone's here.
Could you zip me up?
4
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:11,969
- Sure.
- Thank you.
5
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,847
Can you believe no one
between my apartment and here...
6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,099
...offered to do that for me?
7
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,809
People.
8
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,688
So why are you so dressed up?
9
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,356
Oh, Mike's picking me up for a date.
10
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:28,193
Oh, yeah? Now, how's that going?
Is it getting serious?
11
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:31,822
I don't know. I don't know.
I mean, you know, I like him.
12
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,325
But, you know, am I ready to take
my Grade A loins off the meat market?
13
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,619
I'm not quite sure.
14
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:43,167
You know, I really admire
your whole dating attitude.
15
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:46,462
It's so healthy. I'm always like,
"Is this moving too fast?
16
00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:49,214
Is this moving too slow?
Where's this going?"
17
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,633
Yeah, I know.
You are a bit of a drama queen.
18
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:57,598
You're so much better off, you know?
You just go from guy to guy having fun...
19
00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,768
...and not worrying that it
never turns into anything serious.
20
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,271
I wouldn't say "never."
21
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,815
You know, there is that guy.
22
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,610
Okay, well, what about?
23
00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:12,696
Okay, well, there has gotta be someone.
24
00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:17,618
- There isn't! That's what I'm saying.
- Oh, my God, you're right!
25
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:21,371
I know. And yet, here you are,
all ready for the next date.
26
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:25,709
I can't believe
I never realized this before.
27
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:30,130
I'm in my 30s, and I've never been
in a long-term relationship.
28
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:33,050
Oh, my God, what's wrong with me?
29
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,762
No, no, no.
30
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,680
Um, there's nothing wrong with you.
31
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:44,269
I mean, you don't strike me as the type
of person that wants to get married anyway.
32
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,772
I want to get married!
33
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,233
No, please...
Please don't cry because of me.
34
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,777
Pheebs,
I don't know what I'm talking about, okay?
35
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,695
I've been divorced three times.
36
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,198
Well, at least you've been married.
37
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:59,868
Oh, my God.
I want to trade lives with Ross?
38
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,748
Phoebe.
39
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,960
- What's wrong?
- Nothing. I'm excited about our date.
40
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:13,048
Mike, this is Ross Geller.
Ross, this is Mike...
41
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,303
- Sorry, I didn't catch that.
- Mike Hannigan.
42
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,055
- Oh, Ross Geller.
- Hey.
43
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:24,476
- Uh, so are you sure you're ready to go?
- Uh-huh.
44
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,353
How do I look?
45
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:31,525
- Do you have a compact in your purse?
- No.
46
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,527
You look great.
47
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,697
- Hey, Joey.
- This girl won't turn around.
48
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,408
I can't tell whether she's hot or not.
What do you think?
49
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:26,622
Joey, I am not going
to objectify women with you.
50
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,916
But if her face is as nice as her ass...
51
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,835
- Whoo, Mama.
- All right. Thanks.
52
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,380
- Hey, have you talked to Chandler?
- He has to stay in Tulsa this weekend.
53
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,716
- How come?
- I don't know. He has to work.
54
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,677
There's some big rush on the...
55
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,764
Uh...
56
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,308
One of these days,
I'm gonna have to start listening...
57
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,018
...when he talks about his job.
58
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:52,731
Hey, why don't you fly out there
and surprise him?
59
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,275
Maybe I will go.
60
00:03:55,693 --> 00:04:00,656
Yeah. We'll have a little second
honeymoon at the Tulsa Ramada.
61
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:02,366
Oh, and you know what
you should bring?
62
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:05,953
Your black see-through teddy
with the attached garters.
63
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,334
- How do you know I have one of those?
- Didn't until just now.
64
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:18,298
Ugh. Hot. Not hot.
65
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,342
Hot!
66
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,595
Excuse me?
67
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:28,725
Uh, I said that I think you're hot.
68
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:32,145
And, uh, now I'm embarrassed. Heh.
69
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:34,481
Oh, I thought you said "hi."
70
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,234
That would've been better.
71
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,612
I'll try that. Hi, I'm Joey.
72
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:41,989
I'm Hayley.
73
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:46,451
Oh. Look, I don't normally ask out women
that I meet in coffeehouses.
74
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,412
Ha!
75
00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:53,458
Gesundheit.
76
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,383
- But...
- I would love to go out with you.
77
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:04,386
Really? Great.
78
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,389
Did I...? Did I actually ask you?
79
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:10,767
Oh, um, that's just where you were going.
I figured I'd help you out.
80
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:14,062
You don't seem like the kind of guy
who does this a lot?
81
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,273
Ha!
82
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,861
Seriously, Gunther. You should
see someone about that cold.
83
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,738
If it gets much worse, you could die.
84
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,245
- So how'd the date go?
- Well, it was awful.
85
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:33,040
Every time I thought about
what you said, I started crying.
86
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:36,001
- So he hasn't called?
- Would you call this girl:
87
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:39,421
"Thanks for a lovely evening"?
88
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,799
Now I feel terrible. This is all my fault.
89
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,552
You know what
you should feel terrible about?
90
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,846
This could have been my serious guy.
91
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,515
He was sweet and smart and funny.
92
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,101
Do you know how hard it is
to meet a guy like that?
93
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,729
We are a rare breed.
94
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,402
What a great dinner.
95
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,029
Yeah, and hey, thanks again...
96
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,740
...for letting me have that last piece of cake
at the restaurant.
97
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:11,119
Ha, ha. You're welcome again.
I'm gonna go make some coffee.
98
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,914
- Can I get you anything?
- Uh, do you have any cake?
99
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,214
So this is going pretty good.
100
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,634
Dinner was nice.
We've got a lot in common.
101
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,844
Ooh, Victoria's Secret. Huh.
102
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,805
We even like the same books.
103
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:34,893
Ooh. There's a scary painting.
104
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,104
Wait a minute.
105
00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:39,773
I think I've been scared
by that painting before.
106
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,861
You know what?
This whole place looks familiar.
107
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,155
I have definitely been in this apartment.
108
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:50,158
I know I've seen
this weird plant before.
109
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:53,662
Ow! It did that the last time!
110
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,790
Oh, my God.
I've gone out with this girl before.
111
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:59,334
Yeah! We had sex on this couch!
112
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,212
And then on that chair, and... No.
113
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,339
No, we didn't do it here...
114
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:08,301
...which is weird, because it seems
like a perfectly good place.
115
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,178
Ow. That's why.
116
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:22,482
Hey, Mike. Uh, sorry to just drop by
like this. Can I come in?
117
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,109
Sure.
118
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,403
Who are you?
119
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,406
I'm Ross. Phoebe's friend
from the coffeehouse?
120
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:30,574
Right, yeah.
121
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,784
I really, really need to talk
to you about something.
122
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,245
Okay. Unless...
123
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:38,582
You're not gonna try
and get me to join a cult, are you?
124
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,209
- No.
- Oh...
125
00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:44,588
No, it's just, you know,
you have that look.
126
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,257
Damn Supercuts.
127
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:53,305
- Well, what's up? Is Phoebe okay?
- Oh, yeah, yeah. No.
128
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,725
Oh, Phoebe is great. But, um...
129
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,894
I'm an idiot, okay?
130
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:03,607
Look, right before you guys went out,
I accidentally got her all upset.
131
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,984
Oh. That's why she was weird.
132
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,945
Yes, yeah. I said something stupid...
133
00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,573
...about her never having
had a serious relationship.
134
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,785
But you should know, she is
so much fun. A wonderful person.
135
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:20,123
- Please, don't blow her off.
- I'm not gonna blow her off.
136
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:23,251
I actually just got off the phone with her.
We're going out tomorrow night.
137
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:28,131
I mean, I hope that's okay with you,
stranger from the coffeehouse.
138
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,426
Well, then, I didn't need to bother you.
139
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:36,264
Um, you or the four other
Mike Hannigans I bothered.
140
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,562
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Is that true what you said?
141
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,940
Phoebe's never had
a serious relationship?
142
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,443
Of course she has.
143
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,154
If she's never had
a serious relationship...
144
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,615
...do you think I'd go
around broadcasting it...
145
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:58,203
...like some kind of unstoppable moron?
146
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:03,166
- But you did say it.
- Yes. Yes, I did.
147
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,337
And I will also say...
148
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,839
...what I'm about to say...
149
00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:12,842
...vis-?-vis...
150
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,761
...the following.
151
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:21,560
Phoebe has never had
a serious relationship...
152
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,312
...since...
153
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,984
...her super-serious relationship...
154
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,402
...with...
155
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,153
...Vikram.
156
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,408
- Vikram?
- What? That's a real name.
157
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:43,456
Oklahoma, where the wind comes
158
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,417
sweeping down the plain
159
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,544
Stop it.
160
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,255
Why couldn't they have
sent me to Texas?
161
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,632
Seven o'clock.
162
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,552
Maybe I'll hit the gym.
163
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:04,728
Ah, who am I kidding?
Pay-per-view porn.
164
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,535
- Do not disturb! Do not disturb!
- Surprise!
165
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,458
- Monica?
- Is everything all right?
166
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,793
Yeah, everything's great. I was just, uh...
167
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,630
...watching some
regular television there.
168
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:35,050
What a pleasant surprise.
169
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:45,852
- I'm gonna go freshen up, okay?
- Okay, honey.
170
00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:52,901
Ooh. That was close.
171
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:57,864
- Hello.
Rach, it's me.
172
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:02,327
Okay, I just got to Chandler's room,
and I caught him...
173
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,579
...molesting himself.
174
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:08,458
Ugh. That couldn't have been pretty.
175
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,752
But you know, guys do that.
176
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,420
Uh, well, the weird part is...
177
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:16,049
...he was getting off
to a shark-attack show.
178
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:20,970
- No!
- Yes! Chandler watches shark porn!
179
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,479
- While watching sharks?
- Yeah.
180
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,981
Are you sure that's what he was doing?
181
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:35,068
Do you know how many times
I've seen him jump up like that?
182
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,320
Believe me, I know what he was doing.
183
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:40,782
Man. Sharks.
184
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,243
I always knew there was something weird
about that dude.
185
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,830
You promised to love him
no matter what.
186
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:51,167
"What" means, like, if he gets a disease
or kills someone.
187
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:55,130
- Not if he gets his jollies to Jaws.
- Oh.
188
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:58,425
You know what, honey?
Guys are just different.
189
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:01,177
They like things
that we can't understand.
190
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:03,680
You know, I once dated this guy
who wanted to pretend...
191
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:07,016
...that he was an archeologist,
and that I was this...
192
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:11,938
...naughty cavewoman
who he unfroze from a block of ice.
193
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,859
Ew, are you talking about my brother?
194
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:18,236
Yeah, I didn't disguise that very well, did I?
195
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,157
- Hey.
- Hi.
196
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,534
Listen to this.
I went out with this girl last night.
197
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,661
Halfway through our date I realized...
198
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,246
...I already slept with her.
199
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:32,167
You've slept with all the women
in New York...
200
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,669
...and now you're going around again?
201
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,337
That's not even the weird part.
202
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,715
I don't think she remembered
sleeping with me!
203
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,675
But you don't remember
sleeping with her.
204
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:44,012
Yeah, but she should remember sleeping
with me. I am very memorable!
205
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,640
- You guys know.
- How do we know?
206
00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,185
- We've never slept with you.
- And whose fault is that?
207
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,689
What's the big deal?
You forgot, she forgot.
208
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,776
- Maybe you were having an off night.
- Hey!
209
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:03,239
I never have an off night. Okay?
210
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:06,785
Although, sometimes if I'm a little bloated,
I don't feel that sexy.
211
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,037
But even then, I'm better than most.
212
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,666
Honey, why don't you just let it go
and ask her out again?
213
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,669
Yeah, you're both so slutty,
you don't remember who you slept with.
214
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,546
You're made for each other.
215
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:22,342
Interesting. Yeah.
216
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,013
All right, well, I'll go out with her again
and I'll try to get past it.
217
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,557
No salt! Bloaty!
218
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,476
- Joey?
- What?
219
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,728
You don't think sharks are sexy, do you?
220
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,355
No.
221
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,650
Wait a minute.
Wait, what was the Little Mermaid?
222
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,572
It's open!
223
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:48,117
- Hey.
- Hey. Mike called! We're going out again!
224
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:50,203
- Yay! Yay!
- Yay.
225
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,083
- Quick thing. I went to talk to Mike.
- Yeah.
226
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,459
What?
227
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,212
What did you...? What did you do, Ross?
228
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,798
Oh, boy. You got mad at that part.
229
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:06,010
I went over there, you know,
to tell him how...
230
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:09,806
How great you are. Ahem, but...
231
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,642
Well, you know me. Blah, blah, blah.
232
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:18,731
- And I ended up telling him, um, that...
- What?
233
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:23,194
Um, you had a six-year-long
relationship...
234
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,280
...with a guy named Vikram.
235
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:28,950
What? Why?
236
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,744
Well, he seemed...
237
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:36,791
...to bum hard when I told him you'd
never been in a serious relationship.
238
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:44,007
If you hadn't just had a baby
with my best friend...
239
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:47,552
...I swear to Lucifer...
240
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,806
...a rabid dog would be feasting
on your danglers right now.
241
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:56,311
Phoebe, I think you'll feel differently
when you know...
242
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,855
...a little bit about Vikram.
243
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,399
Okay, he's, um...
244
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,861
He's a kite designer.
245
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:10,158
And he used to date Oprah.
246
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:15,496
I'm not going along
with some lie you made up, Ross.
247
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:18,082
- I'm just gonna be honest with him.
- Good.
248
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,584
Yeah, just be honest with him.
249
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,253
- Yeah, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
- No.
250
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,756
Okay, so, all right,
I haven't been in a relationship...
251
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,883
...that lasted longer than a month.
252
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,510
Okay? I haven't had a real boyfriend.
253
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:34,307
You know, if he can't handle it,
then he can leave. Which he will.
254
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:38,102
And, you know, that's okay.
So I'll just be alone forever.
255
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:41,022
You know, all right.
It'll be fine. It'll be fine.
256
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,817
I'll go on walking tours
with widows and lesbians.
257
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,197
- I'll get it.
Okay.
258
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:56,204
I'm trying to remember the last time
I opened a door and you weren't there.
259
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,960
Phoebe, are you okay?
260
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:07,006
Uh-huh. Yeah. There's just, um...
261
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,634
There's something you should know.
262
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:14,347
Vikram just called.
263
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,811
So it was really a shock
after 25 years of marriage...
264
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,897
...my parents getting divorced.
I took it the hardest...
265
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,525
...because I was the youngest.
- Mm-hm. Sure. Yeah.
266
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,194
How can you not remember me?
267
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,071
What?
268
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,198
How could you not remember
that we slept together?
269
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:35,326
- What? When?
- I don't know.
270
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:39,205
I really, really think
I would remember sleeping with you.
271
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:42,792
Come on, come on.
Search your brain, all right? It was...
272
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,587
...a certain amount of time ago.
Okay, I was here. You were here.
273
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:49,215
We had sex here, here, here...
274
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,300
Not there.
275
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:54,595
- Anything?
- No, it's not ringing any bells.
276
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,931
My God, woman.
277
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,976
How many people have you been with
not to remember this?
278
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:03,271
Hey, Hayley.
We really gotta fix that doorknob.
279
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,149
Joey?
280
00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:08,401
Oh.
281
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,780
I slept with you!
282
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:18,369
And you obviously remember me.
Hey, I still got it!
283
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,787
So we're good.
284
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,291
I'll let myself out.
285
00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:28,337
And I said, "Okay, Vikram...
286
00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:30,673
...you can't just call
every time you get lonely.
287
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:31,924
- Yeah.
- You know?
288
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:35,553
You gave up that right
when you slept with Rachel."
289
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,098
Rachel? I thought she just
had a baby with Ross.
290
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:41,559
Yeah, well...
291
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,227
Yeah.
292
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:46,647
You know, but Emma's birth certificate
might say "Geller"...
293
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,776
...but her eyes say "Mukherjee."
294
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,947
That is so wrong.
And on top of that, he's a glue sniffer?
295
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:58,034
I know. But he calls,
and my heart goes to him.
296
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:03,414
You know, that bastard is one
smooth-talking freelance kite designer.
297
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:07,960
I think there's somebody
better out there for you.
298
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:11,589
I mean, you know, I'm...
I'm not saying me, but...
299
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,176
Maybe me.
300
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:17,595
Oh.
301
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,723
And you don't have to worry about
glue-sniffing with me.
302
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:24,102
Although, I do smell
the occasional Magic Marker.
303
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,689
Yeah. Uh, anyway, I just...
304
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,442
I think I can make you happy.
305
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,365
- Okay, I can't do this.
- What's wrong?
306
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:41,577
Well, there is no Vikram.
Ross made him up.
307
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,204
Because I...
308
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:46,290
I really never have been
in a long-term relationship.
309
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:51,003
I've never lived with a guy.
I've never even celebrated an anniversary.
310
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:52,713
So...
311
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,176
You know, if that's too weird for you...
312
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:59,512
...and you want to leave,
I totally understand.
313
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,099
In fact, I'll close my eyes
to make it less awkward.
314
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,567
You kissed me.
315
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,027
Uh-huh.
316
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:18,406
- So you don't think I'm a total freak?
- No.
317
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,283
Well...
318
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,618
Look, can I?
319
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:25,830
Can I think you're a little weird
and also cool...
320
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,666
...for telling me the truth
and also want to kiss you?
321
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,835
I guess so.
322
00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:33,671
Can I think it's cool
that you kissed me...
323
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,424
...and also want to kiss you again?
324
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:42,305
And, um, be a little concerned
about the Magic Markers?
325
00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:43,764
Definitely.
326
00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:53,357
This is Vikram.
327
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:04,076
Hi, honey, I'm home.
328
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:05,995
Hi.
329
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:09,749
- How was your flight?
- Oh, it was great.
330
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,876
Why don't you sit down.
331
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,502
Get yourself comfortable.
332
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:16,339
Because I have a little...
333
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:18,758
...surprise for you.
334
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:22,470
Well, well, well. It must be 5 in Tulsa...
335
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:26,390
...because it's sex o'clock in N.Y. C!
336
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:32,396
Okay. This is how much I love you.
337
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,733
The great white...
338
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:42,990
Honey?
339
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,619
Why am I watching
a bunch of sharks swimming around?
340
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,789
Oh, is this...? Is this not the good part?
341
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:54,669
Do you want me to fast-forward
to something toothier?
342
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:59,090
No, I'm just not sure that you
got the right movie, that's all.
343
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:02,802
Oh. This is the only one
they had at our video store.
344
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:06,097
Though they did have something
called Crocodile Killers.
345
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,058
Or does it always have to be sharks?
346
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:13,229
Does what always have to be sharks?
347
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,606
Honey, look, we can do something else.
348
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:19,902
Do you want me to
get into the tub and thrash?
349
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:25,074
- What's going on?
- Sweetie, it's okay. It's okay.
350
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,076
I still love you.
351
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:31,247
- Let me be a part of this.
- Let me be a part of this!
352
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,834
I saw what you were doing in Tulsa.
353
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:37,753
Angry sharks turn you on!
354
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,715
No, they don't.
355
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:45,553
Then why were you watching them
and giving yourself a treat?
356
00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:49,390
Oh, my God. When you came in,
I switched the channel.
357
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:52,226
I was just watching regular porn.
358
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:54,478
Really?
359
00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:58,983
Yes. Just some good, old-fashioned,
American, girl-on-girl action.
360
00:22:00,944 --> 00:22:04,405
- Can I tell you how happy that makes me?
- Oh.
361
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:08,617
You are an amazing wife.
362
00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:12,163
Really, you are amazing.
You were actually gonna do this for me?
363
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,791
I mean, where do you find the strength
and the understanding for that?
364
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:19,670
I'm very, very drunk right now.
365
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:31,724
See, ordinarily, I would talk to her,
but my confidence is shaken.
366
00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:34,477
Did I sleep with her?
Did I not sleep with her?
367
00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:36,937
You know, maybe this is a wake-up call.
368
00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:40,232
You know,
about your whole dating attitude.
369
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,986
You're in your 30s and you have
never been in a long-term relationship.
370
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,656
Here you go from woman to woman...
371
00:22:47,824 --> 00:22:50,201
...meaningless experience
to meaningless experience.
372
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,746
Never even worrying that it doesn't
turn into something more serious.
373
00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:55,915
You're right. I love my life!
374
00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:03,881
I actually did sleep with her. Heh.
|
1
00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:02,806
Привет, Росс.
2
00:00:02,981 --> 00:00:06,644
Как хорошо, что хоть кто-то здесь.
Можешь застегнуть молнию?
3
00:00:09,388 --> 00:00:10,821
- Конечно.
- Спасибо.
4
00:00:10,989 --> 00:00:13,617
Представляешь по пути от
дома до кофейни
5
00:00:13,792 --> 00:00:15,953
никто не предложил мне помощь?
6
00:00:16,128 --> 00:00:17,652
Люди
7
00:00:18,530 --> 00:00:21,522
А что так нарядилась?
8
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:23,895
Майк пригласил меня на свидание.
9
00:00:24,069 --> 00:00:27,038
Ну и как дела?
Все становится серьезно?
10
00:00:27,205 --> 00:00:30,663
Не знаю. Не знаю.
В смысле, он мне нравится.
11
00:00:30,842 --> 00:00:34,175
Но готова ли я снять свою филейную часть
с продажи?
12
00:00:34,346 --> 00:00:36,473
Я еще не уверена в этом.
13
00:00:38,016 --> 00:00:42,009
Знаешь, я так восхищаюсь твоему
подходу к теме отношений.
14
00:00:42,187 --> 00:00:45,315
Разумно. Я всегда боюсь, что
все происходит слишком быстро,
15
00:00:45,490 --> 00:00:48,050
или же слишком медлено,
к чему это все приведет.
16
00:00:48,226 --> 00:00:51,218
Знаю. Ты прямо король драм.
17
00:00:51,997 --> 00:00:56,263
Ты намного разумней. Ты просто переходишь
от парня к парню, веселясь.
18
00:00:56,435 --> 00:01:00,735
И даже не волнуешься, что это никогда
не перерастает во что-то серьезное.
19
00:01:00,906 --> 00:01:03,101
Ну я бы не сказала "никогда"
20
00:01:03,308 --> 00:01:05,572
Ну помнишь же того парня...
21
00:01:06,345 --> 00:01:08,313
Так, ладно, а вот...
22
00:01:08,981 --> 00:01:11,541
Ну кто-то же должен быть.
23
00:01:11,717 --> 00:01:16,450
-Никого, о том и речь.
-Боже, ты прав.
24
00:01:16,622 --> 00:01:20,251
Знаю. Но тем не менее, вот ты,
готовая к очередному свиданию.
25
00:01:21,593 --> 00:01:24,494
Не могу поверить, что раньше не
задумывалась об этом.
26
00:01:24,663 --> 00:01:28,929
30 лет, а у меня никогда не было
длительных отношений
27
00:01:29,101 --> 00:01:31,899
Боже, что со мной не так?
28
00:01:35,807 --> 00:01:37,570
С тобой все так.
29
00:01:37,743 --> 00:01:43,079
В смысле, по-моему, ты не из тех девушек,
кто хочет замуж.
30
00:01:43,248 --> 00:01:45,614
Но я хочу замуж.
31
00:01:45,784 --> 00:01:48,184
Нет, пожалуйста.
Не плачь из-за меня.
32
00:01:48,387 --> 00:01:53,256
Да я сам не знаю, что я несу.
Я разводился трижды.
33
00:01:53,425 --> 00:01:55,086
Ты по крайней мере был женат.
34
00:01:55,260 --> 00:01:58,696
Боже, я хочу быть на месте Росса?
35
00:02:01,667 --> 00:02:03,635
Фиби.
36
00:02:03,935 --> 00:02:06,768
-Что случилось?
-Ничего. Очень жду нашего свидания.
37
00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:13,004
Майк, это Росс Геллер.
Росс, это Майк...
38
00:02:15,013 --> 00:02:17,174
-Прости, не расслышал.
-Майк Ханиган.
39
00:02:17,349 --> 00:02:19,112
-Росс Геллер.
-Привет.
40
00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:22,453
Ты уверена, что готова идти?
41
00:02:23,488 --> 00:02:25,217
Как я выгляжу?
42
00:02:26,925 --> 00:02:30,326
-У тебя есть пудра в сумочке?
-Нет.
43
00:02:30,529 --> 00:02:32,429
Ты выглядишь отлично.
44
00:03:23,381 --> 00:03:26,214
-Джоуи, привет
-Эта девушка не оборачивается.
45
00:03:26,384 --> 00:03:29,911
Я не знаю, красивая ли она.
Как думаешь?
46
00:03:30,088 --> 00:03:34,184
Джоуи, я не собираюсь оценивать
с тобой женщин.
47
00:03:34,459 --> 00:03:36,723
Но если ее лицо такое же красивое,
как ее задница...
48
00:03:36,895 --> 00:03:39,090
-Мамочки
-Отлично. Спасибо.
49
00:03:39,264 --> 00:03:42,893
-Говорила с Чендлером?
-Он вынужден остаться в Талсе на выходные.
50
00:03:43,068 --> 00:03:45,468
-Как так?
-Не знаю. Работа.
51
00:03:45,637 --> 00:03:48,538
Там какая-то спешка с...
52
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:56,741
Черт. Пора начинать слушать его,
когда он говорит о работе.
53
00:03:56,982 --> 00:03:59,007
Так почему бы тебе не полететь туда
и не устроить ему сюрприз?
54
00:03:59,184 --> 00:04:01,209
Я бы с радостью.
Я очень скучаю по нему.
55
00:04:01,386 --> 00:04:04,446
Но не могу. У меня всего один выходной,
слишком дорого получится.
56
00:04:04,623 --> 00:04:08,821
Интересно. Чендлер не стоит
билета на самолет?
57
00:04:10,228 --> 00:04:12,253
Конечно стоит.
58
00:04:13,131 --> 00:04:15,497
Может я поеду.
59
00:04:16,935 --> 00:04:20,928
Устроим второй медовый месяц в Талсе.
60
00:04:21,106 --> 00:04:26,669
Возьми черную прозрачную комбинацию с подвязками.
61
00:04:29,648 --> 00:04:33,778
-Откуда ты знаешь, что у мня такая есть?
-До этого момента не знал.
62
00:04:36,121 --> 00:04:38,385
Красивая. Некрасивая.
63
00:04:39,524 --> 00:04:41,116
Красивая.
64
00:04:41,827 --> 00:04:42,953
Простите?
65
00:04:46,298 --> 00:04:48,892
Я сказал, что вы красивая.
66
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:52,160
И теперь я смущен.
67
00:04:52,604 --> 00:04:54,697
Я думала, вы сказали "привет".
68
00:04:55,407 --> 00:04:57,466
Это было бы даже лучше.
69
00:04:57,642 --> 00:05:00,839
Попробую. Привет, я Джоуи.
70
00:05:01,012 --> 00:05:02,240
Я Хейли.
71
00:05:03,248 --> 00:05:08,515
Я обычно не приглашаю девушек,
с которыми встретился в кафе.
72
00:05:12,123 --> 00:05:13,681
Будь здоров (нем.)
73
00:05:18,897 --> 00:05:20,558
Но...
74
00:05:21,466 --> 00:05:24,458
Сложно это. Я немного застенчивый.
75
00:05:27,906 --> 00:05:30,238
Серьезно, сходи к доктору
со своей простудой.
76
00:05:30,408 --> 00:05:32,433
Если станет хуже, ты можешь умереть.
77
00:05:35,914 --> 00:05:39,179
-Вообще.
-Я бы с радостью с тобой куда-нибудь сходила.
78
00:05:39,684 --> 00:05:42,619
Правда? Отлично.
79
00:05:42,787 --> 00:05:45,483
А я...? Я тебя уже пригласил?
80
00:05:45,657 --> 00:05:48,922
Ты как раз собирался.
Я тебе просто помогла.
81
00:05:49,094 --> 00:05:53,827
Ты похоже не часто это делаешь?
82
00:05:57,569 --> 00:05:59,867
Черт, Гантер, ты меня заразил.
83
00:06:05,510 --> 00:06:07,375
-О это ты.
84
00:06:07,545 --> 00:06:11,072
С вегетарианскими корн-догами.
85
00:06:12,484 --> 00:06:14,179
Ну же, я просто хочу с тобой поговорить.
86
00:06:14,352 --> 00:06:16,946
О чем? Сколько яйцеклеток у меня осталось?
87
00:06:17,923 --> 00:06:21,290
Я просто хочу извиниться за вчерашнее.
88
00:06:22,193 --> 00:06:24,161
Прости, Фиби.
89
00:06:25,497 --> 00:06:27,897
Все в порядке, Росс.
90
00:06:32,203 --> 00:06:34,933
-Так как прошло свидание?
-Ужасно.
91
00:06:35,106 --> 00:06:36,698
Я еле-еле пережила ужин.
92
00:06:36,875 --> 00:06:39,469
Каждый раз, когда я думала
о твоих словах, я плакала.
93
00:06:39,978 --> 00:06:45,006
Уверена, что большую часть вечера
он палялся на меня в ужасе.
94
00:06:45,183 --> 00:06:49,244
Но точно не знаю, ведь мои
опухшие глаза были закрыты.
95
00:06:50,488 --> 00:06:52,888
Я ведь не хотел, что бы ты радала.
96
00:06:53,058 --> 00:06:55,686
Я очень хотел сказать
что-нибудь приятное.
97
00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:59,853
Я просто сказал, что, хоть у тебя
и не было серьезных отношений...
98
00:07:00,031 --> 00:07:02,898
-Ты снова заладил?
-Прости.
99
00:07:03,168 --> 00:07:06,035
-Он не звонил?
-Ты бы позвонил такой девушке:
100
00:07:06,204 --> 00:07:09,401
"Спасибо... за прекрасный... вечер"?
101
00:07:10,475 --> 00:07:12,943
Мне так неловко.
Я в этом виноват.
102
00:07:13,111 --> 00:07:15,636
Знаешь, почему тебе должно быть неловко?
103
00:07:15,814 --> 00:07:17,975
Возможно, это и были мои серьезные отношения.
104
00:07:18,149 --> 00:07:20,640
Он милый, умный и смешной.
105
00:07:20,819 --> 00:07:23,185
Знаешь, как трудно такого встретить?
106
00:07:23,655 --> 00:07:25,748
Да, нас мало осталось.
107
00:07:29,961 --> 00:07:31,792
А может это он?
108
00:07:34,032 --> 00:07:35,294
Але?
109
00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:37,025
Подождите минутку.
110
00:07:37,202 --> 00:07:39,864
-Мне нужно уединиться
-Это Майк?
111
00:07:40,038 --> 00:07:43,872
Нет, кто-то, тяжело дышащий.
Довольствуюсь тем, что есть.
112
00:07:44,743 --> 00:07:46,404
Я слушаю.
113
00:07:51,583 --> 00:07:53,278
Какой отличный ужин был
114
00:07:53,451 --> 00:07:57,615
Еще раз спасибо, что уступила мне
последний кусок торта в ресторане.
115
00:07:58,623 --> 00:08:01,990
И еще раз не за что.
Пойду сделаю кофе.
116
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,720
-Тебе что-нибудь принести?
-А торт есть?
117
00:08:10,935 --> 00:08:13,096
<i>Все довольно хорошо<i></i></i>
118
00:08:13,271 --> 00:08:16,502
<i>Ужин прошел хорошо
У нас много общего<i></i></i>
119
00:08:16,674 --> 00:08:18,733
<i>Victoria's Secret.</i>
120
00:08:18,910 --> 00:08:20,673
<i>Мы даже читаем одно и то же<i></i></i>
121
00:08:24,149 --> 00:08:25,707
<i>Какая страшная картина<i></i></i>
122
00:08:26,618 --> 00:08:27,983
<i>Погоди-ка</i>
123
00:08:28,153 --> 00:08:31,816
<i>Кажется, эта картина меня
уже пугала раньше<i></i></i>
124
00:08:33,158 --> 00:08:35,752
<i>Вся эта квартира кажется знакомой</i>
125
00:08:35,927 --> 00:08:38,020
<i>Определенно я уже бывал в этой квартире<i></i></i>
126
00:08:38,196 --> 00:08:40,960
<i>Я уже видел это странное растение раньше<i></i></i>
127
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:44,494
<i>Так же было и в прошлый раз!<i></i></i>
128
00:08:44,669 --> 00:08:47,638
<i>О Боже! Я уже встречался с этой девушкой</i>
129
00:08:47,806 --> 00:08:50,172
<i>Да! Мы занимались сексом на этом диване</i>
130
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:53,071
<i>А потом на том стуле, а потом...
Нет</i>
131
00:08:53,244 --> 00:08:55,109
<i>Нет, здесь мы этим не занимались</i>
132
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:59,148
<i>Что, кстати, странно.
Вроде бы, это идеальное место.</i>
133
00:08:59,317 --> 00:09:00,909
Ах вот почему
134
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:13,329
Привет, Майк. Прости, что пришел
без предупреждения. Можно войти?
135
00:09:13,498 --> 00:09:14,965
Конечно.
136
00:09:15,533 --> 00:09:17,262
А ты кто?
137
00:09:17,769 --> 00:09:20,761
Я Росс. Друг Фиби, кофейня.
138
00:09:20,939 --> 00:09:24,705
Мне очень надо с тобой поговорить
кое о чем.
139
00:09:24,909 --> 00:09:26,103
Только если...
140
00:09:26,277 --> 00:09:30,611
Ты же не собираешься уговаривать меня
вступить в какую-нибудь секту?
141
00:09:31,983 --> 00:09:35,419
Просто у тебя такая внешность...
142
00:09:35,987 --> 00:09:38,649
Проклятый Supercuts
(прим.перевод.-парикмахерская)
143
00:09:40,725 --> 00:09:44,161
-Так что случилось? Фиби в порядке?
-О, да, да
144
00:09:44,329 --> 00:09:47,560
С Фиби все хорошо. Только...
145
00:09:47,732 --> 00:09:49,723
Я идиот, понятно?
146
00:09:49,934 --> 00:09:51,993
Перед вашим свиданием...
147
00:09:54,873 --> 00:09:58,639
я случайно ее расстроил
148
00:09:59,611 --> 00:10:01,010
Поэтому она была такой странной.
149
00:10:01,179 --> 00:10:03,409
Да. Да, я...
150
00:10:05,817 --> 00:10:10,845
Я сказал одну глупость, мол у нее
никогда не было серьезных отношений.
151
00:10:11,022 --> 00:10:15,083
Но ты должен знать, она очень веселая.
Она замечательный человек.
152
00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:19,424
-Пожалуйста, не отшивай ее.
-Я и не собирался.
153
00:10:19,597 --> 00:10:22,532
Я только что с ней говорил.
Завтра у нас свидание.
154
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:27,797
В смысле, если ты не против,
незнакомец из кофейни.
155
00:10:30,608 --> 00:10:34,544
Отлично. Так ее рыдания
тебя не испугали?
156
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:38,644
У только недавно были отношения
с маниакально-депрессивной девушкой.
157
00:10:38,816 --> 00:10:41,307
По сравнению с этим,
рыдания Фиби просто детский лепет.
158
00:10:41,853 --> 00:10:44,686
Значит, мне не следовало тебя
беспокоить.
159
00:10:44,856 --> 00:10:48,952
Как и других четырех Майков Ханиганов.
160
00:10:50,028 --> 00:10:55,091
Один из которых был довольно огромный
и немного заигрывающий.
161
00:10:59,837 --> 00:11:03,568
Стой.Стой. То, что ты сказал, правда?
162
00:11:03,741 --> 00:11:07,108
У Фиби никогда не было
серьезных отношений?
163
00:11:07,779 --> 00:11:09,542
Конечно, были.
164
00:11:09,781 --> 00:11:12,272
Если бы нее никогда не было
серьезных отношений,
165
00:11:12,450 --> 00:11:14,714
думаешь, я бы стал всем это рассказывать,
166
00:11:14,886 --> 00:11:19,289
как какой-то слабоумный придурок?
167
00:11:20,491 --> 00:11:24,621
-Но ты сам так сказал.
-Да, да, сказал.
168
00:11:25,997 --> 00:11:28,465
А еще я скажу...
169
00:11:28,633 --> 00:11:31,261
...то, что я собираюсь сказать...
170
00:11:31,869 --> 00:11:33,962
...визави...
171
00:11:34,138 --> 00:11:36,299
...следующее.
172
00:11:37,842 --> 00:11:43,280
У Фиби не было серьезных отношений...
173
00:11:43,715 --> 00:11:45,205
...после...
174
00:11:45,383 --> 00:11:50,082
....ее супер-серьезных отношений...
175
00:11:50,288 --> 00:11:51,516
...с...
176
00:11:51,689 --> 00:11:53,213
...Викрамом.
177
00:11:54,692 --> 00:11:57,525
-Викрамом?
-Что? Есть такое имя!
178
00:12:06,704 --> 00:12:08,399
Прекрати
179
00:12:08,573 --> 00:12:11,508
Почему меня не отправили в Техас?
180
00:12:12,410 --> 00:12:14,435
7 часов
181
00:12:14,712 --> 00:12:16,805
Может схожу в спорт зал.
182
00:12:22,587 --> 00:12:25,750
Да кого я обманываю?
Платное порно.
183
00:12:39,837 --> 00:12:42,704
-Не беспокоить. Не беспокоить.
-Сюрприз.
184
00:12:44,909 --> 00:12:47,571
-Моника?
-Все в порядке?
185
00:12:47,745 --> 00:12:49,645
Да, все отлично.
Я просто...
186
00:12:49,847 --> 00:12:52,748
...смотрел обычный телевизор.
187
00:12:53,351 --> 00:12:56,115
Какой приятный сюрприз.
188
00:13:03,628 --> 00:13:06,961
-Я пойду освежусь, ладно?
-Хорошо, милая.
189
00:13:12,236 --> 00:13:13,999
Чуть не попался.
190
00:13:25,350 --> 00:13:27,682
-Привет.
-<i>Привет, Рейч, это я.</i>
191
00:13:27,852 --> 00:13:32,152
Я только что зашла в комнату Чендлера
и застала его за...
192
00:13:32,323 --> 00:13:34,348
...самоудовлетворением.
193
00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:38,153
Лучше и не придумаешь.
194
00:13:38,329 --> 00:13:40,422
Но знаешь, парни так делают.
195
00:13:40,598 --> 00:13:42,088
Самое странное то,
196
00:13:42,266 --> 00:13:45,724
...что он это делал,
смотря шоу про акул.
197
00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:50,834
-Нет
-Да, Чендлер смотрит акулье порно.
198
00:13:58,282 --> 00:14:00,341
-Наблюдая за акулами?
-Да.
199
00:14:00,518 --> 00:14:02,850
Ты уверена, что он этим занимался?
200
00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:05,921
Знаешь, сколько раз я видела,
как он так подпрыгивал?
201
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:08,081
Поверь, я знаю, чем он занимался.
202
00:14:09,193 --> 00:14:11,661
Акулы, Боже.
203
00:14:11,829 --> 00:14:15,196
Всегда знала, что с ним что-то не так.
204
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:17,697
Но ты обещала любить его,
несмотря ни на что.
205
00:14:17,869 --> 00:14:22,033
обычно подразумеваются болезни
или убийства.
206
00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:26,203
Теперь же он наслаждается <i>Челюстями</i>
207
00:14:27,278 --> 00:14:29,473
Милая, знаешь что?
Парни бывают разные.
208
00:14:29,647 --> 00:14:32,241
Им нравится то,
что нам никогда не понять.
209
00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:34,749
Я однажды встречалась с парнем,
который хотел претвориться...
210
00:14:34,919 --> 00:14:38,082
...что он археолог, а я...
211
00:14:38,256 --> 00:14:43,250
...я капризная пещерная женщина,
которую он разморозил изо льда.
212
00:14:44,762 --> 00:14:46,730
Ты о моем брате говоришь?
213
00:14:46,898 --> 00:14:49,059
Это так очевидно было, да?
214
00:14:51,969 --> 00:14:53,027
-Привет.
-Привет.
215
00:14:53,204 --> 00:14:57,300
Я встречался с этой девушкой вчера.
Посреди свидания я понял...
216
00:14:57,475 --> 00:14:59,102
...что я уже спал с ней.
217
00:15:01,078 --> 00:15:05,538
Ты уже спал со всеми женщинами в Нью-Йорке,
и теперь пошел по второму кругу?
218
00:15:05,716 --> 00:15:07,206
Это еще не самое странное.
219
00:15:07,385 --> 00:15:11,549
-Она помнила, что спала со мной.
-Ты не помнишь, что спал со ней.
220
00:15:11,722 --> 00:15:15,385
Но она должна помнить меня.
Я незабываем.
221
00:15:16,594 --> 00:15:18,494
-Вы же знаете.
-Откуда же?
222
00:15:18,663 --> 00:15:21,894
-Мы с тобой никогда не спали.
-И кто в этом виноват?
223
00:15:23,234 --> 00:15:25,566
В чем проблема?
Ты забыл, она забыла.
224
00:15:25,736 --> 00:15:28,637
-Может у тебя ничего не получилось.
-Эй
225
00:15:31,576 --> 00:15:34,170
Я меня такого не бывает. Ясно?
226
00:15:34,345 --> 00:15:37,712
Хотя, иногда я немного не в форме,
и не чувствую себя таким сексуальным.
227
00:15:37,882 --> 00:15:40,646
Но даже тогда я лучше всех.
228
00:15:41,486 --> 00:15:44,580
Милый, почему бы тебе не забыть про это
и просто пригласить ее еще раз?
229
00:15:44,755 --> 00:15:47,724
Вы оба такие распутные, что даже
не помните, с кем спали.
230
00:15:47,892 --> 00:15:49,484
Да вы созданы друг для друга.
231
00:15:51,329 --> 00:15:53,263
Интересная мысль.
232
00:15:54,565 --> 00:15:57,932
Ладно, встречусь с ней еще раз
и постараюсь не думать об этом.
233
00:15:58,102 --> 00:16:00,764
Никакой соли, толстяк!
234
00:16:00,972 --> 00:16:02,405
-Джоуи?
-Да?
235
00:16:02,573 --> 00:16:04,632
Ты же не считаешь акул возбуждающими, да?
236
00:16:04,809 --> 00:16:06,401
Нет, не считаю
237
00:16:06,744 --> 00:16:09,577
Постой. А Русалочка кто?
238
00:16:13,417 --> 00:16:15,510
Открыто.
239
00:16:16,053 --> 00:16:20,513
-Привет.
-Майк звонил, мы снова встречаемся.
240
00:16:23,628 --> 00:16:26,028
Один момент
Я ходил к Майку.
241
00:16:26,197 --> 00:16:27,528
Что?
242
00:16:27,765 --> 00:16:30,131
Ты что...?
Что ты наделал, Росс?
243
00:16:30,301 --> 00:16:33,361
О Боже, ты уже злишься.
244
00:16:34,038 --> 00:16:36,939
Я ходил к нему, чтобы рассказать о...
245
00:16:37,108 --> 00:16:40,703
о том, как я ты замечательная. Но...
246
00:16:40,878 --> 00:16:43,574
Ну ты же знаешь меня.
Бла-бла-бла.
247
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:49,614
-И я сказал, что...
-Что?
248
00:16:50,755 --> 00:16:53,883
Что у тебя были шестилетние отношения..
249
00:16:54,058 --> 00:16:56,151
...с парнем по имени Викрам.
250
00:16:57,828 --> 00:16:59,819
Что? Зачем?
251
00:16:59,997 --> 00:17:02,659
Мне показалось, что он...
252
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:08,772
...не очень хорошо воспринял новость,
что у тебя не было серьезных отношений.
253
00:17:12,109 --> 00:17:14,942
Если бы у моей лучшей подруги не было
ребенка от тебя...
254
00:17:15,112 --> 00:17:18,479
...клянусь Люцифером...
255
00:17:18,649 --> 00:17:23,643
...бешеные собаки сейчас же
растерзали бы теья на кусочки.
256
00:17:24,322 --> 00:17:27,257
Думаю, ты изменишь свое мнение...
257
00:17:27,425 --> 00:17:29,757
...когда узнаешь немного о Викраме.
258
00:17:30,328 --> 00:17:32,319
Так, он...
259
00:17:32,496 --> 00:17:35,659
Он дизайнер воздушных змеев.
260
00:17:37,602 --> 00:17:40,833
Раньше встречался с Опрой.
261
00:17:42,506 --> 00:17:46,340
Я не собираюсь подыгрывать
этому бреду, Росс.
262
00:17:46,510 --> 00:17:48,910
-Я просто скажу правду.
-Ладно.
263
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,809
Будь с ним откровенна.
264
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:53,075
-Мне нечего стыдиться.
-Нечего.
265
00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:57,710
Ну не было у меня отношений,
длившихся больше месяца.
266
00:17:57,888 --> 00:18:00,356
И что? Ну не было у меня настоящего парня.
267
00:18:00,524 --> 00:18:05,120
Если его это не устраивает, он может убираться.
Что он и сделает.
268
00:18:05,296 --> 00:18:08,925
Знаешь, все в порядке.
Так что я буду всегда одна.
269
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:11,864
Все нормально.
Все будет хорошо.
270
00:18:12,036 --> 00:18:15,631
Буду ходить на экскурсии с
вдовами и лесбиянками.
271
00:18:18,075 --> 00:18:20,009
-Я открою
-Хорошо.
272
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:27,010
Не помню момента, чтобы я открыл дверь,
а тебя там не было.
273
00:18:30,121 --> 00:18:32,783
Фиби, что случилось?
274
00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:37,822
Просто...
275
00:18:38,729 --> 00:18:41,323
Ты должен кое-что знать.
276
00:18:43,401 --> 00:18:46,393
Только что звонил Викрам.
277
00:18:47,738 --> 00:18:50,639
Было так шокирующе, что
после 25 лет брака...
278
00:18:50,808 --> 00:18:53,743
мои родители разводились.
Мне было тяжелее всех,
279
00:18:53,911 --> 00:18:56,675
ведь я была самой младшей.
-Да, конечно.
280
00:18:56,847 --> 00:18:59,111
Как ты можешь меня не помнить?
281
00:18:59,850 --> 00:19:00,874
Что?
282
00:19:01,085 --> 00:19:03,019
Как ты можешь не помнить,
что у нас был секс?
283
00:19:03,187 --> 00:19:06,179
-Что? Когда?
-Не знаю.
284
00:19:06,791 --> 00:19:10,056
Я правда думаю, что я бы запомнила,
если бы переспала с тобой.
285
00:19:10,227 --> 00:19:13,663
Ну же, давай.
Покопайся у себя в памяти. Это было...
286
00:19:13,831 --> 00:19:17,460
...определенное время назад.
Я был тут. Ты была тут.
287
00:19:17,635 --> 00:19:20,069
Мы занимались сексом тут, тут, тут...
288
00:19:20,237 --> 00:19:22,171
Не здесь.
289
00:19:22,339 --> 00:19:25,467
-Что-нибудь припоминаешь?
-Вообще ничего.
290
00:19:25,643 --> 00:19:27,804
О Боже, женщина
291
00:19:27,978 --> 00:19:30,845
Со сколькими же ты спала,
раз ты ничего не помнишь?
292
00:19:31,015 --> 00:19:34,143
Привет, Хейли.Нам уже пора бы
починить эту дверную ручку.
293
00:19:35,886 --> 00:19:37,012
Джоуи?
294
00:19:41,625 --> 00:19:43,650
Я переспал с тобой.
295
00:19:45,396 --> 00:19:49,230
А ты явно помнишь меня.
Да я еще хоть куда.
296
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,630
Все в порядке.
297
00:19:52,236 --> 00:19:54,397
Провожать не надо.
298
00:19:56,207 --> 00:19:59,176
А я сказала "Викрам,...
299
00:19:59,343 --> 00:20:02,779
...ты не можешь звонить
каждый раз, когда тебе одиноко.
300
00:20:02,947 --> 00:20:06,405
Ты лишился этого права,
когда переспал с Рейчел."
301
00:20:07,585 --> 00:20:09,951
Рейчел? Я думал, у нее ребенок
от Росса.
302
00:20:10,154 --> 00:20:12,088
Да, но...
303
00:20:12,256 --> 00:20:14,087
Да.
304
00:20:14,425 --> 00:20:17,519
В свидетельстве о рождении Эммы
написано "Геллер"...
305
00:20:17,695 --> 00:20:20,664
...но по глазам видно Макюрджи.
306
00:20:21,899 --> 00:20:25,801
Все так неправильно.
Ко всему этому, он нюхает клей?
307
00:20:25,970 --> 00:20:28,905
Знаю. Но когда он звонит,
мое сердце просто зовет к нему.
308
00:20:29,073 --> 00:20:34,375
Этот ублюдок со сладкими речами,
внештатный дизайнер воздушных змеев.
309
00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:39,313
Если хочешь, я могу с ним
поговорить, заступиться за тебя.
310
00:20:41,252 --> 00:20:42,617
Ты бы пошел на это?
311
00:20:42,787 --> 00:20:46,348
Только если он не громила.
Если он громила, я пошлю ему...
312
00:20:46,524 --> 00:20:48,014
...письмо с угрозами.
313
00:20:49,527 --> 00:20:52,655
Я думаю, ты достойна большего.
314
00:20:53,330 --> 00:20:57,027
В смысле, я не говорю, что это я..
315
00:20:58,035 --> 00:21:00,401
Может... я.
316
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,941
По поводу клея можешь не волноваться,
я не нюхаю.
317
00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:09,307
Хотя я нюхаю обычные маркеры
318
00:21:11,048 --> 00:21:13,915
Да, ну в общем, я просто...
319
00:21:14,385 --> 00:21:16,649
Думаю, я смогу сделать тебя счастливой.
320
00:21:20,357 --> 00:21:22,791
-Я больше так не могу
-Что не так?
321
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,987
Нет никакого Викрама.
Росс его выдумал.
322
00:21:27,164 --> 00:21:28,631
Потому что я...
323
00:21:28,799 --> 00:21:31,700
У меня никогда не было долгих отношений.
324
00:21:31,869 --> 00:21:36,397
Я никогда не жила с парнем.
Я никогда не праздновала годовщины.
325
00:21:36,574 --> 00:21:38,371
Так что...
326
00:21:39,677 --> 00:21:42,578
Если это для тебя слишком...
327
00:21:42,780 --> 00:21:44,907
...и ты хочешь уйти,
я пойму.
328
00:21:45,082 --> 00:21:48,518
Я даже закрою глаза,
чтобы было не так неудобно.
329
00:21:55,926 --> 00:21:58,053
Ты поцеловал меня.
330
00:22:00,731 --> 00:22:03,962
-Ты не думаешь, что я совсем чудачка?
-Нет.
331
00:22:04,134 --> 00:22:05,795
Что ж...
332
00:22:06,570 --> 00:22:08,037
А можно я?
333
00:22:08,205 --> 00:22:11,299
Можно я буду считать тебя немного странной,
но еще и очень классной...
334
00:22:11,475 --> 00:22:13,943
...за то, что рассказала правду,
а еще я хочу тебя поцеловать?
335
00:22:14,111 --> 00:22:16,443
Думаю да.
336
00:22:16,614 --> 00:22:19,082
А я могу думать, что это круто,
что ты поцеловал меня...
337
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:21,741
...и хочешь еще раз поцеловать?
338
00:22:23,387 --> 00:22:27,585
И немного беспокоиться о маркерах?
339
00:22:27,791 --> 00:22:29,725
Конечно.
340
00:22:36,233 --> 00:22:38,633
<i>Это Викрам.</i>
341
00:22:41,972 --> 00:22:46,500
<i>Я хочу поговорить о наших
долгих отношениях.</i>
342
00:22:46,677 --> 00:22:50,613
<i>Позвони мне. Я в студии для змеев.</i>
343
00:22:55,386 --> 00:22:57,854
Привет, милая, я дома.
344
00:22:58,555 --> 00:22:59,817
Привет.
345
00:22:59,990 --> 00:23:02,686
-Как долетел?
-Отлично
346
00:23:02,860 --> 00:23:05,829
Я попросил жилет безопасности.
347
00:23:08,165 --> 00:23:10,030
Зачем я это сделал?
348
00:23:11,402 --> 00:23:13,267
Почему бы тебе не присесть
349
00:23:13,437 --> 00:23:14,904
Устроиться поудобнее.
350
00:23:15,072 --> 00:23:17,734
У меня есть...
351
00:23:17,908 --> 00:23:20,138
небольшой подарок для тебя.
352
00:23:21,245 --> 00:23:23,873
Так, так, так.
В Талсе сейчас 5.00...
353
00:23:24,048 --> 00:23:27,882
...ведь в Нью-Йорке время секса.
354
00:23:29,620 --> 00:23:33,954
Вот как сильно я тебя люблю.
355
00:23:34,992 --> 00:23:37,119
<i>Белизна...</i>
356
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,392
Милая?
357
00:23:44,601 --> 00:23:48,002
Почему я смотрю на стаю акул,
плавающих по кругу?
358
00:23:49,173 --> 00:23:51,164
Это...?
Это не лучшая часть?
359
00:23:51,642 --> 00:23:56,079
Хочешь я перемотаю вперед
до чего-нибудь более зубастого?
360
00:23:56,547 --> 00:24:00,540
Нет, я не уверен, что ты взяла подходящий фильм.
Вот и все.
361
00:24:01,685 --> 00:24:04,245
Это единственный, который был
в видеопрокате.
362
00:24:04,455 --> 00:24:07,549
Хотя у них было что-то вроде
<i>Крокодилы-убийцы</i>
363
00:24:07,725 --> 00:24:10,523
Или это должны быть обязательно акулы?
364
00:24:12,663 --> 00:24:14,688
Что обязательно должно быть акулой?
365
00:24:14,865 --> 00:24:17,060
Слушай, мы можем еще что-нибудь сделать.
366
00:24:17,234 --> 00:24:21,364
Хочешь я залезу в ванну и
поплескаюсь?
367
00:24:23,173 --> 00:24:26,734
-Что происходит?
-Это нормально.
368
00:24:26,910 --> 00:24:28,537
Я все равно люблю тебя.
369
00:24:28,712 --> 00:24:32,671
-Позволь мне быть частью этого.
-Позволь <i>мне</i> быть частью этого.
370
00:24:34,084 --> 00:24:36,279
Я видела, что ты делал в Талсе.
371
00:24:36,487 --> 00:24:39,217
Злые акулы заводят тебя.
372
00:24:40,591 --> 00:24:42,183
Нет, не заводят.
373
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,992
Тогда почему ты смотрел на них,
пока самоудовлетворялся?
374
00:24:47,564 --> 00:24:50,863
О Боже, когда ты вошла,
я переключил канал.
375
00:24:51,035 --> 00:24:53,629
Я смотрел обычное порно.
376
00:24:54,805 --> 00:24:55,931
Правда?
377
00:24:56,106 --> 00:25:00,406
Да. Просто обычное, старомодное
американское, лесбийсое порно.
378
00:25:02,413 --> 00:25:05,610
Ты не представляешь,
как я счастлива!
379
00:25:07,117 --> 00:25:10,086
Ты удивительная жена.
380
00:25:10,254 --> 00:25:13,621
Правда. Ты и правда пошла бы на это
ради меня?
381
00:25:13,791 --> 00:25:18,091
Где бы ты нашла силы и понимание для этого?
382
00:25:19,329 --> 00:25:22,127
Я сейчас очень-очень пьяна.
383
00:25:28,972 --> 00:25:32,271
Раньше я бы заговорил с ней,
но теперь я уже не так уверен.
384
00:25:32,443 --> 00:25:34,968
Спал я с ней?
Не спал я с ней?
385
00:25:35,946 --> 00:25:40,610
Может это тревожный сигнал.
По поводу твоего подхода к отношениям.
386
00:25:40,784 --> 00:25:45,778
Тебе 30, у тебя не было долгих отношений.
387
00:25:46,156 --> 00:25:48,056
Ты переходишь от одной женщины к другой...
388
00:25:48,225 --> 00:25:50,625
от бессмысленного опыта к
бессмысленному опыту.
389
00:25:50,794 --> 00:25:54,423
Никогда не волнуешься, что ничего
серьезного не получится.
390
00:25:54,598 --> 00:25:57,726
Ты права. Я обожаю свою жизнь.
391
00:26:01,805 --> 00:26:04,273
Я все-таки спал с ней.
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