Монологи на английском языке с текстом и переводом. №8. Тема: Тест на знание иностранного языка.

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I arrived at Krakow airport with Kasia, my guide. Test number one. I had to get a taxi to the hotel. I said to the taxi driver, in Polish, 'To the Holiday Inn Hotel, please,' - Prosze, do hetelu Holiday Inn. No problem. The driver understood me. But then he started talking to me in perfect English. I felt a bit stupid.
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We got to the hotel, checked in, and then we went to the hotel bar for test number two. A waitress came up to us and I said 'Prosze piwo,' that is, a beer please. Then the waitress said something in Polish and I understood her! She said: 'A big or small beer?' 'Big,' I said. I was so happy that I could understand her. I really enjoyed that beer.
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Next we went out into the street for test three, asking for directions. I decided to ask for directions to a chemist, because I knew the word for chemist, apteka. I stopped a woman who looked friendly and I said, in Polish: 'Excuse me please, is there a chemist's near here?' No problem.
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But then she started talking really fast and pointing. I tried to listen for left or right or anything I could understand but no, I couldn't understand anything. I was sure that Kasia was going to give me zero for this test!
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I was feeling less confident now. We went back to the hotel for test four: making a phone call. Kasia gave me a phone number and told me to ask to speak to her friend. His name was Adam. I dialled the number. A woman answered the phone. 'Is Adam there?', I said hopefully. 'Adamo nie ma,' she said. I understood that! Adam's not in.
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I wanted to say 'When will he be back?' but I could only say 'When home?' Kiedy domu? And I didn't understand her answer. So I said thank you and goodbye very politely. Kasia smiled, so I thought, well, not bad. Finally, test five: asking the time. I knew this test was going to be very hard. Numbers in Polish are incredibly difficult and I've always found telling the time is impossible.
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But I had a brilliant idea. I stopped a man in the street and said: 'Excuse me, what's the time?' I couldn't understand the answer but I just said: 'Sorry, can I see your watch please?' He showed it to me. Twenty past seven. Perfect! How well did I do in the tests? Well, Kasia gave me 5 out of 10 for language and 8 for imagination. So can you learn a language in a month? Not Polish, definitely!
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