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FAMILY TIES
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Season 5 Episode 27
"The Visit"
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Okay.
Breakfast is just about ready.
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Elyse, you can call
the kids...
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now.
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Jennifer, Mallory,
Andrew, uh...
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What's the other one's
name?
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Alex, I believe.
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Alex. Good name.
Breakfast is ready!
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Ah, this is something,
isn't it, Elyse?
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Hard to believe.
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Seems like only yesterday
it was just the two of us
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living in that apartment
in Berkeley,
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full of dreams,
every day an adventure.
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Look how it all
turned out, too.
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You know, work we enjoy,
a house of our own,
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and four beautiful
children.
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Let's face it...
We got it all.
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These eggs are really
starting to harden up.
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Give them another call,
will you, honey?
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Yeah.
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Hey, kids, let's go!
Breakfast is ready!
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You know, I think
these Sunday mornings
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are my favorite part
of the week.
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The smell of bacon
cooking,
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a fire
in the fireplace,
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Sunday paper,
everybody together at home.
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There's no place else
I'd rather be.
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Same with me, honey.
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We are really
and truly blessed.
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Amen.
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Elyse, these pancakes
are turning into compact discs.
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Get 'em down here,
would you?
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Kids, come on,
let's get down here!
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Breakfast is ready!
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Not that we don't have
our problems.
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No.
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But when I look around
and see what we've got,
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I realize
how lucky we are.
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Really, really lucky.
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If you kids are not down
in one minute,
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breakfast is going
out the window!
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What's all the yelling about?
It's Sunday morning.
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Yeah.
We're trying to sleep.
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Why don't you answer us
when we call you?
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Well, it seems
unnecessary.
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I mean, you know us.
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We're decent people
with good intentions.
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You got to assume we heard you
and we're coming down.
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All you need to say is,
"coming, Dad."
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Or, "coming, Mom."
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Coming, Dad,
or coming, Mom.
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Now could we go
back to sleep?
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No.
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Now we're
gonna sit down
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and have a great big traditional
overcooked breakfast.
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And afterwards,
we're going to clean house
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and get ready for uncle Marvin
and aunt Michelle's visit.
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No, that's not today,
is it?
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Weren't they just here
last week?
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No.
That was last year.
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Oh, come on, guys.
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You all know that my sister
and uncle Marv
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come to visit every year
at this time.
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Oh, you know, and now, this
would be a nice opportunity
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for us to discuss ways to make
their visit more pleasant.
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Are they bringing
the kids, too?
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I'm afraid so.
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Steven, you're talking
about your niece and nephew,
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Monica and Marv Jr.
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Mom, those two
little charmers
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could make a child-hater
out of Dr. Seuss.
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All right.
Come on, guys. Come on.
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It's very important
to your mother
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that this visit
go well.
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To you, too, Steven.
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It should be important
to you, too.
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It is, honey.
It is.
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Your sister.
My brother-in-law.
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It's enormously
important.
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I saw that, Steven.
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Well...
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Elyse, I'm just
kidding you.
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I know you have a problem
with Marv.
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Problem?
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What kind of problem
could I have with a guy
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who walks in the door,
slaps me on the back,
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the first words out
of his mouth are,
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"say, Stevie, how much money
did you make last year?"
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Unbelievable.
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How much money
did you make last year?
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When are they coming?
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They should be here
in time for dinner.
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Good.
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Gives us plenty of time to pack
and move to South America.
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Oh, good.
They're early.
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Let their stay here begin.
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Hey!
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Elyse! Oh!
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Hey, gang.
Hiya, gang.
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So, Stevie, how much money
did you make last year? Ha!
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Everybody!
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Say hello... to...
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Bingo!
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So...
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It's great to see
you guys.
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Yeah.
Always a major joy.
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So, what do you guys
want to... want to do
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while you're here
in beautiful Columbus, Ohio?
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We have some of the finest malls
in the Midwest.
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Not to mention
some terrific museums.
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What is this,
teen tours?
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What would you like to do,
Monica?
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What's the point
in doing anything?
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Excuse me?
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I mean,
it's clearly futile.
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Going to museums, ball games,
shopping malls...
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It's all just
a momentary escape
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from the unavoidable
certainty of death.
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What's the deal with her?
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Hey. Hey, Monica.
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That's, uh, kind of a morbid
viewpoint, isn't it?
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Well, perhaps you're all
just unable to face the fact
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of your own nonexistence.
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The realization
that the only certainty
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in this absurd universe
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is that we are all
going to die.
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We've got some
terrific cemeteries.
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Come on. Let's get out
the funeral directories, huh?
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Have a ball.
Come on.
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Oh.
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Remember Tommy Ramsey?
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Oh, the one from junior high
who wanted to be a dentist?
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Yeah.
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I ran into him
at the airport.
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He is a Hare Krishna now.
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Oh!
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Hey!
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Stevie. Stevie.
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Let me give you a hand
with that.
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Oh, thanks, Marv.
I really appreciate it.
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Ah.
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Mmm! mmm!
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Yeah, thanks.
I think I can manage it
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the rest of the way
by myself.
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What's for supper?
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It's tuna noodle
casserole.
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Uncle Steven's
special recipe.
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Yeah. I think you're
really gonna like it.
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Hey, I'm on vacation.
I'm not eating tuna.
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I want pizza.
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Didn't I tell you
in the car...
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You're going to eat
what you're served.
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That's okay.
W-we can get pizza.
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He's gonna eat tuna casserole
like everybody else.
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We're all gonna eat
tuna casserole...
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Whether we like it
or not.
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All right,
but I'm not gonna like it.
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Boy, they're just growing up
right before our eyes.
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Isn't it great?
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Here we are,
all back together again.
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I sure miss you guys.
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We should see you more often
than just once a year.
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Yeah.
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Well, I can say I really enjoy
having you all here.
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Stevie...
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What kind of a year
did you have?
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Oh, a very satisfying year,
Marv.
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Kids are healthy,
doing well in school.
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Andy started preschool.
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Ah, no.
I mean financially.
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Well, Steven had a terrific year
down at the station himself.
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He produced a couple
first-rate documentaries.
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Well, thank you, honey.
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I saw a lovely documentary
you produced, Steven.
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It was all about little
microscopic creatures.
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Oh! You mean "Parameciums...
We're Splitting."
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I think your public television
is for snobs.
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Okay, hors d'oeuvres,
everyone, now.
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They are always
asking you for money.
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Well, that's because
we're severely underfunded.
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So?
Whose fault is that?
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Come on, now.
We shouldn't be arguing.
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We're here to have
a great time.
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I am!
I'm having a great time.
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I love needling Stevie.
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And you love it,
don't you, Stevie?
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Come on!
Admit it!
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I really do.
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Uh, yeah, Marv.
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Thanks for showing us
that tax return of yours.
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It's obvious to me you had
a truly fabulous year.
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And remember...
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Extra cheese
and no anchovies on this one.
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This time, get it right.
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You just keep chewing,
Marv Jr.
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Dad, I honestly don't think
I'm gonna make it.
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Alex, I know how you feel,
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but this is important
to your mother,
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and after all,
it's only five days.
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You're right, Dad.
You're right.
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Well, everyone seems to be
enjoying themselves, huh?
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Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
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Yeah.
I know we are, Mom.
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Just... we're just sad
there's just four days,
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22 hours, 16 minutes,
and 6 seconds left to go.
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00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,797
Honey, I know Marv's not your
favorite person in the world.
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00:10:05,827 --> 00:10:08,097
I really appreciate
the effort you're making.
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You're being
a wonderful host.
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Stevie, Alex,
get in here.
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Marv Jr.'s gonna put
a whole grapefruit in his mouth.
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Oh, we don't want to
miss that.
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Aren't you going to
go in and watch?
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00:10:23,687 --> 00:10:25,557
Nah!
I've seen it a hundred times.
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00:10:25,587 --> 00:10:28,757
Who do you think
taught him how to do it?
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Uh, Marv. Marv.
Come on, now.
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Oh, Stevie!
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You don't still have
that silly "no cigar" rule.
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M-Marv, Marv.
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I'd really appreciate it
if you wouldn't.
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All right.
Fine. Fine, Stevie.
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Hey! you know my motto...
When in Rome...
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How's the rest
of that go?
224
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Why don't you go to Rome
and find out?
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Come here!
226
00:10:53,427 --> 00:10:54,757
Oh, gosh!
227
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,960
It's good to be
with family.
228
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What a kid.
229
00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:09,557
Uncle Marv...
Aunt Michelle...
230
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No one knows.
231
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:15,897
Whoa! No!
232
00:11:15,927 --> 00:11:17,627
Wait a minute.
233
00:11:17,657 --> 00:11:19,557
Where, uh, where do you think
you're going?
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Just out
for a walk.
235
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We'll be back
in four days,
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22 hours, 12 minutes,
and 13 seconds.
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Yeah, wait.
I'm coming with you.
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Hold it.
Hold it.
239
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Nobody's leaving
without me.
240
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W-wait a minute.
241
00:11:38,087 --> 00:11:39,827
We can't go.
242
00:11:39,857 --> 00:11:43,527
I think it would really upset
your mother.
243
00:11:43,557 --> 00:11:45,227
Dad, Monica's
driving us crazy.
244
00:11:45,257 --> 00:11:49,357
She keeps writing
practice obituaries for us.
245
00:11:49,387 --> 00:11:50,797
We are starving out there.
246
00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:53,657
Oh, don't bother yourself.
We'll just help ourselves. Oh.
247
00:11:53,687 --> 00:11:55,460
Hey. Hey!
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00:11:57,930 --> 00:12:01,497
Stevie, you've been
holding out on us.
249
00:12:01,527 --> 00:12:04,297
Come on. Come on, Bingy.
Come on, boy.
250
00:12:04,327 --> 00:12:06,760
We like a little snack
before bed.
251
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:10,327
Hey.
252
00:12:10,357 --> 00:12:12,357
Oh, Dad, Dad, Dad.
253
00:12:12,387 --> 00:12:15,457
We hate to see you
like this.
254
00:12:15,487 --> 00:12:17,760
Is there anything we can do
to help you?
255
00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,630
Kill them.
256
00:12:37,430 --> 00:12:38,857
Morning, Stevie.
257
00:12:38,887 --> 00:12:40,897
Hi.
258
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,957
Wuh. You look terrible.
Didn't you sleep?
259
00:12:43,987 --> 00:12:45,257
Sleep?
260
00:12:45,287 --> 00:12:49,827
How can I sleep with a 200-pound
Saint Bernard on my head?
261
00:12:49,857 --> 00:12:52,860
Didn't Daddy tell you
not to bother uncle Stevie?
262
00:12:58,330 --> 00:13:01,257
What happened
to my cereal?
263
00:13:01,287 --> 00:13:04,357
Oh, I'm sorry.
Was that your cereal?
264
00:13:04,387 --> 00:13:07,330
We didn't realize.
Did we, Bingy?
265
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:16,397
So, Stevie, what have you got
planned for us today?
266
00:13:16,427 --> 00:13:20,127
I do have something
in mind.
267
00:13:20,157 --> 00:13:22,657
I'm gonna take Bingo
out for a walk.
268
00:13:22,687 --> 00:13:25,657
When we get back,
try to have something planned.
269
00:13:25,687 --> 00:13:28,497
You're my host.
Entertain me!
270
00:13:28,527 --> 00:13:30,657
Come on, Bingy!
Come on, Bingy!
271
00:13:30,687 --> 00:13:32,097
Come on, baby!
Come on!
272
00:13:32,127 --> 00:13:33,460
I'll feed you!
I'll feed you! Come on.
273
00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:39,827
Oh, hey, Dad.
274
00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:42,360
You want to have breakfast
with us this morning?
275
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,497
Marv?
276
00:13:45,527 --> 00:13:48,327
And Bingo.
277
00:13:48,357 --> 00:13:50,130
How many days left?
278
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:53,400
Three down, two to go.
279
00:13:55,930 --> 00:13:57,157
I'm not gonna
make it.
280
00:13:57,187 --> 00:13:58,657
Save yourselves.
281
00:13:58,687 --> 00:14:00,427
All right.
Okay.
282
00:14:00,457 --> 00:14:01,757
This is getting
serious now.
283
00:14:01,787 --> 00:14:03,457
Dad is starting
to crack.
284
00:14:03,487 --> 00:14:05,657
It hasn't been easy
on us, either.
285
00:14:05,687 --> 00:14:06,997
Hanging around
with Monica
286
00:14:07,027 --> 00:14:10,797
is like being in
an Ingmar Bergman movie.
287
00:14:10,827 --> 00:14:14,657
Hanging around
with Marv Jr. is like...
288
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,657
There is nothing like
hanging around with Marv Jr.!
289
00:14:17,687 --> 00:14:20,600
Well, we've got to do something
to take the pressure off Dad.
290
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:23,727
Let's at least get 'em
out of the house,
291
00:14:23,757 --> 00:14:25,657
give Dad one day
of peace.
292
00:14:25,687 --> 00:14:27,157
Yeah.
I got an idea.
293
00:14:27,187 --> 00:14:29,497
We could tell them there's
some free food downtown,
294
00:14:29,527 --> 00:14:31,657
and that'll take care of Marv
and Marv Jr.
295
00:14:31,687 --> 00:14:32,857
What about Monica?
296
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:35,327
What's gonna get her
out of the house?
297
00:14:35,357 --> 00:14:37,430
We'll tell her
there's a hanging.
298
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,327
Top of the morning,
my wonderful cousins!
299
00:14:44,357 --> 00:14:47,827
My mother said
to try to be nice.
300
00:14:47,857 --> 00:14:49,997
Well, you're doing
a great job of it, Marv Jr.
301
00:14:50,027 --> 00:14:51,327
You're wearing
my shirt!
302
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:52,497
I'm not wearing
your shirt!
303
00:14:52,527 --> 00:14:53,557
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah?
304
00:14:53,587 --> 00:14:55,327
What do you think
the A.P.K. stands for?
305
00:14:55,357 --> 00:14:58,827
Oh.
"A perfect cousin."
306
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,757
Listen, Marv Jr.
307
00:15:00,787 --> 00:15:04,027
Alex, three down,
two to go.
308
00:15:04,057 --> 00:15:05,997
Hey, listen,
how would you guys
309
00:15:06,027 --> 00:15:08,297
like to see the sights
of Columbus?
310
00:15:08,327 --> 00:15:11,260
Ooh. That should be
a fun-filled two minutes.
311
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:15,297
We could start out
with the downtown area,
312
00:15:15,327 --> 00:15:18,057
the Columbus Centron,
then over to Germantown.
313
00:15:18,087 --> 00:15:20,257
Maybe the Ohio State
Art Museum.
314
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,627
I'm not getting
out of the car.
315
00:15:22,657 --> 00:15:24,697
Monica,
there's a world of exciting
316
00:15:24,727 --> 00:15:27,027
and interesting things to do
around here.
317
00:15:27,057 --> 00:15:28,997
We could really have
a great day.
318
00:15:29,027 --> 00:15:31,097
Don't make me laugh.
319
00:15:31,127 --> 00:15:34,927
There's not much danger
of that.
320
00:15:34,957 --> 00:15:36,697
Listen,
when I'm on vacation,
321
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,600
nobody tells Marv Jr.
what to do.
322
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,900
All right, listen.
323
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,757
You little twit...
324
00:15:50,787 --> 00:15:53,457
You're coming to the mall
with us.
325
00:15:53,487 --> 00:15:56,700
And so is your sister...
the Grim Reaper.
326
00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:06,430
So!
327
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,457
What do you kids
want to do today?
328
00:16:11,487 --> 00:16:14,100
We don't want to do
anything.
329
00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:19,497
Uh, we want to go
to the stupid mall.
330
00:16:19,527 --> 00:16:20,497
Oh!
331
00:16:20,527 --> 00:16:22,157
Well, that's
a great idea.
332
00:16:22,187 --> 00:16:24,227
Come on, Stevie.
I'll buy you some new threads.
333
00:16:24,257 --> 00:16:26,557
God knows you could use them.
334
00:16:26,587 --> 00:16:28,227
And don't you dare
thank me.
335
00:16:28,257 --> 00:16:30,027
What's a brother-in-law for?
336
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:32,900
Now, come here.
Give me a big hug.
337
00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:41,257
Just missing one piece.
338
00:16:41,287 --> 00:16:43,560
Maybe one of the Marvs
ate it.
339
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:46,997
That's a good guess.
340
00:16:47,027 --> 00:16:49,960
Don't worry about it, son.
They'll be leaving soon.
341
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:54,260
Three down,
two to go.
342
00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:58,327
I know how you feel.
343
00:16:58,357 --> 00:17:00,157
But, you know,
I've really enjoyed
344
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,097
spending this time
with you.
345
00:17:02,127 --> 00:17:03,597
I'm beginning
to relax.
346
00:17:03,627 --> 00:17:05,227
I think
I'm gonna make it.
347
00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:07,000
That's the spirit, Dad.
348
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:10,497
Time for bed, Andy.
349
00:17:10,527 --> 00:17:12,157
Jennifer's ready
to tuck you in.
350
00:17:12,187 --> 00:17:14,157
Come on, kiss.
351
00:17:14,187 --> 00:17:16,157
Kiss!
352
00:17:16,187 --> 00:17:17,997
Good night, Daddy.
Good night, Mommy.
353
00:17:18,027 --> 00:17:19,030
Good night.
Good night.
354
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:22,997
Oh...
355
00:17:23,027 --> 00:17:26,497
Steven, I know
this hasn't been easy for you.
356
00:17:26,527 --> 00:17:28,497
But I want to tell you,
357
00:17:28,527 --> 00:17:29,997
you were really
wonderful today
358
00:17:30,027 --> 00:17:32,897
with Marv and Michelle
and all those kids.
359
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,897
Thank you, honey,
but I can tell you,
360
00:17:34,927 --> 00:17:37,657
it's all been worth it
just to be here alone with you.
361
00:17:37,687 --> 00:17:39,157
It's like a sanctuary,
362
00:17:39,187 --> 00:17:41,997
a cozy little haven
we can retreat to.
363
00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:43,260
Yeah.
364
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:45,760
Hey!
365
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,200
Thanks for the q-tips,
aunt Elyse.
366
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:52,360
I'll let myself out.
367
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,827
Good night, honey.
368
00:17:58,857 --> 00:18:00,200
Good night, Steven.
369
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:10,827
Hello.
370
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,260
Yes. I...
371
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,657
Yeah, well...
372
00:18:15,687 --> 00:18:18,327
Well, one...
One moment, please.
373
00:18:18,357 --> 00:18:21,657
It's someone named Buddy
calling Marv from Hawaii...
374
00:18:21,687 --> 00:18:22,827
Collect.
375
00:18:22,857 --> 00:18:23,930
What?
376
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:29,657
Marv!
Uh, I-it's Buddy.
377
00:18:29,687 --> 00:18:32,430
From Hawaii!
Calling collect!
378
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,827
Oh, thanks, Stevie.
379
00:18:35,857 --> 00:18:37,497
I've been expecting
that call.
380
00:18:37,527 --> 00:18:38,827
Hey.
381
00:18:38,857 --> 00:18:39,957
Buddy?
382
00:18:39,987 --> 00:18:41,760
Hey! Buddy!
383
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,960
Buddy, what's shakin'?
384
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:50,727
Okay, buddy.
385
00:18:50,757 --> 00:18:52,097
Buddy, let's get
down to business.
386
00:18:52,127 --> 00:18:53,427
What are we
talking about here?
387
00:18:53,457 --> 00:18:56,997
A crummy 2,000 gross
of ceramic pineapples? Come on!
388
00:18:57,027 --> 00:19:00,097
Marv, what are you doing
in their bed?
389
00:19:00,127 --> 00:19:02,527
These people need their sleep.
Now, hang up!
390
00:19:02,557 --> 00:19:03,697
All right.
All right!
391
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,827
Uh, listen, buddy,
I'll call you tomorrow.
392
00:19:05,857 --> 00:19:07,497
In Tahiti.
393
00:19:07,527 --> 00:19:08,657
Oh, listen, buddy.
394
00:19:08,687 --> 00:19:10,827
Have the pineapple people
give me a call here.
395
00:19:10,857 --> 00:19:11,897
You guys don't mind
396
00:19:11,927 --> 00:19:13,497
if the pineapple people
give us a call.
397
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,957
Just give them
our toll-free number.
398
00:19:15,987 --> 00:19:17,857
Bye-bye.
399
00:19:17,887 --> 00:19:19,327
- Hey, guys.
- Good night.
400
00:19:19,357 --> 00:19:20,497
You sleep tight.
401
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:21,757
Oh, listen,
if Buddy does call...
402
00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:22,760
All right,
all right!
403
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,430
What the hell
is that?
404
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:40,457
Can I sleep here?
I'm scared.
405
00:19:40,487 --> 00:19:41,457
Come on. Come on.
406
00:19:41,487 --> 00:19:44,327
I'm not going
out there alone.
407
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:47,257
Hey, wait.
Save some room for me.
408
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:50,430
You always say we should spend
more time together.
409
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,560
Hi.
I can explain.
410
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:59,927
That's it.
He's gone!
411
00:19:59,957 --> 00:20:01,597
They are out of here
tonight!
412
00:20:01,627 --> 00:20:03,157
And I mean now!
413
00:20:03,187 --> 00:20:04,057
Steven!
414
00:20:04,087 --> 00:20:05,727
All right, Michelle.
415
00:20:05,757 --> 00:20:08,157
You and the kids
can stay.
416
00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:10,760
Actually,
only you can stay.
417
00:20:12,730 --> 00:20:15,630
Do you guys got any requests?
418
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:21,030
Yes, I do.
Get out!
419
00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:26,527
Well, I must say, this has been
as enjoyable an experience
420
00:20:26,557 --> 00:20:28,530
as I'm capable of having.
421
00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:34,827
Well, thanks
for having us.
422
00:20:34,857 --> 00:20:38,960
But I'll tell you,
next year I'm going to Club Med.
423
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,757
Well, I'm glad
that's fi...
424
00:20:42,787 --> 00:20:45,327
Marv Jr.,
you're wearing my pants!
425
00:20:45,357 --> 00:20:48,027
Hey! Hey!
426
00:20:48,057 --> 00:20:50,597
Well, Elyse,
we tried.
427
00:20:50,627 --> 00:20:55,427
Now, remember, Michelle...
You don't have to go.
428
00:20:55,457 --> 00:20:57,757
Oh, it's a lovely
offer, Steven,
429
00:20:57,787 --> 00:20:59,497
but we came as a family,
430
00:20:59,527 --> 00:21:01,257
and I think we should leave
as one.
431
00:21:01,287 --> 00:21:02,257
All right.
432
00:21:02,287 --> 00:21:05,000
Hey, Stevie! Elyse!
I had a great time.
433
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:07,657
Me too, Marv.
434
00:21:07,687 --> 00:21:09,457
Sorry it had to end up
like this.
435
00:21:09,487 --> 00:21:10,497
Oh, stop.
Don't worry about that.
436
00:21:10,527 --> 00:21:11,497
And, hey, listen,
437
00:21:11,527 --> 00:21:12,827
if you're ever
in my neighborhood,
438
00:21:12,857 --> 00:21:15,327
please, don't you hesitate
to come stay with us.
439
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,200
We'll throw you out!
440
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,097
Marv Jr. took my pants.
441
00:21:23,127 --> 00:21:25,157
He does that.
442
00:21:25,187 --> 00:21:26,827
Bye-bye.
443
00:21:26,857 --> 00:21:27,997
Bye!
444
00:21:28,027 --> 00:21:29,827
Bye-bye!
445
00:21:29,857 --> 00:21:31,327
Bye-bye.
446
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:34,157
All right.
All right!
447
00:21:34,187 --> 00:21:36,327
Now things
are back to normal.
448
00:21:36,357 --> 00:21:37,997
Just the six of us.
449
00:21:38,027 --> 00:21:40,897
One happy family.
450
00:21:40,927 --> 00:21:42,657
All right.
451
00:21:42,687 --> 00:21:45,497
I know Marv is impossible.
452
00:21:45,527 --> 00:21:48,330
And I know you guys have no fun
when they're here.
453
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:52,157
But I love my sister.
I-I really...
454
00:21:52,187 --> 00:21:54,657
It's a great joy
for me to be with her.
455
00:21:54,687 --> 00:21:56,730
So put yourself
in my position.
456
00:21:58,330 --> 00:22:00,097
Alex, Mallory,
you're brother and sister.
457
00:22:00,127 --> 00:22:01,127
You love each other.
458
00:22:01,157 --> 00:22:02,900
You care about each other,
right?
459
00:22:05,630 --> 00:22:07,727
Well, for argument's sake.
460
00:22:07,757 --> 00:22:10,527
Okay. yeah.
Certain times.
461
00:22:10,557 --> 00:22:12,857
Okay.
okay, well...
462
00:22:12,887 --> 00:22:15,027
Let's... let's say Mallory
marries some guy
463
00:22:15,057 --> 00:22:16,627
that Alex doesn't like.
464
00:22:16,657 --> 00:22:18,600
Like Nick.
465
00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:22,297
For argument's sake.
466
00:22:22,327 --> 00:22:24,857
Okay. How do you handle
that situation?
467
00:22:24,887 --> 00:22:27,960
We just don't visit
each other.
468
00:22:32,530 --> 00:22:33,827
Elyse, look.
469
00:22:33,857 --> 00:22:35,497
I wish this could be different.
470
00:22:35,527 --> 00:22:36,997
But just because we're family
471
00:22:37,027 --> 00:22:38,500
doesn't mean
we're all gonna get along.
472
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:41,657
I really tried.
473
00:22:41,687 --> 00:22:44,797
And I feel, in some sense...
474
00:22:44,827 --> 00:22:46,197
I failed you.
475
00:22:46,227 --> 00:22:47,197
Us too.
476
00:22:47,227 --> 00:22:48,297
Yeah.
we're sorry, Mom.
477
00:22:48,327 --> 00:22:50,497
I'm sorry, Mom.
I blew it.
478
00:22:50,527 --> 00:22:51,627
Thank you.
479
00:22:51,657 --> 00:22:53,997
I appreciate you
saying that.
480
00:22:54,027 --> 00:22:55,930
They're gone!
|
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:07,000
СЕМЕЙНЫЕ УЗЫ
2
00:00:07,030 --> 00:00:12,350
5 сезон 27 серия
«Визит»
3
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,650
Отлично, завтрак почти готов.
4
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:11,040
Элиза, можешь звать детей...
сейчас.
5
00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:14,490
Дженнифер, Мэллори,
Эндрю и...
6
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,320
Как зовут ещё одного?
7
00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:17,590
Алекс, по-моему.
8
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:20,250
Алекс, хорошее имя.
Завтрак готов!
9
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,490
Это что-то с чем-то, Элиза.
Верится с трудом.
10
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,340
Кажется, ещё вчера
нас было только двое,
11
00:01:26,370 --> 00:01:28,090
мы жили в Беркли,
12
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,920
сплошные мечты,
каждый день – приключение.
13
00:01:30,950 --> 00:01:32,820
Глянь теперь,
как всё обернулось.
14
00:01:32,850 --> 00:01:35,420
У нас есть любимая работа,
собственный дом,
15
00:01:35,450 --> 00:01:37,950
четверо прекрасных детей.
16
00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:41,490
Согласись, мы добились всего.
17
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,960
Птенцы встают на ноги.
Крикни их ещё разок, дорогая.
18
00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:51,150
Дети, шевелитесь!
Завтрак готов!
19
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:55,150
Как же люблю я эти
воскресные утра.
20
00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:59,150
Запах жареного бекона,
блики огня в камине,
21
00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:02,360
воскресная пресса,
все за кухонным столом.
22
00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,790
Лучше места и не представить.
23
00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:09,150
Полностью согласна, дорогой.
Мы поистине счастливы.
24
00:02:09,180 --> 00:02:10,820
Да будет так.
25
00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:15,090
Элиза, эти блины превращаются
в компакт-диски.
26
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:16,900
Будь любезна, позови их.
27
00:02:18,330 --> 00:02:22,690
Дети, давайте спускайтесь уже!
Завтрак готов!
28
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:26,620
Не то чтобы у нас
не было совсем проблем.
29
00:02:26,650 --> 00:02:28,580
Но оглядываясь
на достигнутое нами,
30
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:30,350
я понимаю,
как же нам повезло.
31
00:02:30,380 --> 00:02:33,590
По-настоящему,
действительно повезло.
32
00:02:34,140 --> 00:02:36,500
Дети, не спуститесь
через минуту,
33
00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:40,300
и завтрак отправится в окно!
34
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,270
Зачем так кричать?
Сегодня же воскресение.
35
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:46,050
И мы так-то спали.
36
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,620
Почему вы не отвечаете,
когда мы вас зовём?
37
00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:53,050
А к чему это?
Вы же знаете нас.
38
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,890
Мы порядочные люди
с благими намерениями.
39
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,820
Что непонятного?
Мы вас слышали и спускаемся.
40
00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:01,420
От вас требуется лишь:
"Идём, папа".
41
00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:02,950
Или: "Идём, мама".
42
00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:07,720
Идём, папа, или
идём, мама.
43
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:10,420
Можно теперь
снова пойти спать?
44
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:11,190
Нет.
45
00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:12,420
Сейчас мы дружно сядем
46
00:03:12,450 --> 00:03:14,950
и устроим традиционный завтрак
с передержанной едой.
47
00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:17,050
После чего мы уберёмся в доме
48
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,890
и будем готовиться к приезду
дяди Марвина и тёти Мишель.
49
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:22,520
Это же не сегодня, ведь нет?
50
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,870
Они же на прошлой неделе
только приезжали.
51
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,820
Это было в прошлом году.
52
00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:28,050
Бодрее, ребята.
53
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,240
Сами знаете, что
моя сестра и дядя Марв
54
00:03:30,270 --> 00:03:32,180
каждый год гостят у нас
в это время.
55
00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:34,710
И сейчас как раз самое время
поговорить о том,
56
00:03:34,740 --> 00:03:37,700
как сделать их визит
более приятным.
57
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,720
Детей они тоже снова возьмут?
58
00:03:41,750 --> 00:03:43,220
Боюсь, что так.
59
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:46,150
Стивен, ты говоришь
о своих племянниках,
60
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,990
Монике и Марве-младшем.
61
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,050
Мам, да эти два ангелочка,
62
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,990
и Доктора Сьюза* превратят
в детоненавистника.
(*детский писатель)
63
00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:54,950
Спокойно, дети.
64
00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:59,090
Для вашей мамы очень важно,
чтобы этот визит прошёл гладко.
65
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,050
И для тебя, Стивен.
Это должно быть важно и для тебя.
66
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,320
А для меня и важно.
Ещё как.
67
00:04:04,350 --> 00:04:09,000
Твоя сестра. Мой зять.
Это чрезвычайно важно.
68
00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:14,600
Я всё видела.
69
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,540
А что?
70
00:04:16,570 --> 00:04:19,070
Элиза, я же шучу.
71
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,000
Я знаю, что у тебя
тёрки с Марвом.
72
00:04:21,030 --> 00:04:22,070
Тёрки?
73
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,070
Какие тёрки могут быть
с человеком,
74
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:27,770
который с порога хлопает
меня по спине со словами:
75
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:31,200
"Ну-ка колись, Стиви,
сколько за этот год поднял?"
76
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:34,140
Невероятно.
Невероятно.
77
00:04:34,170 --> 00:04:37,700
А сколько ты поднял за этот год?
78
00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:39,270
Во сколько они приедут?
79
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,040
К ужину должны.
80
00:04:41,070 --> 00:04:45,380
Хорошо. Есть время собраться
и сбежать в Южную Америку.
81
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:51,550
Чудесно.
Приехали раньше.
82
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:55,000
Их пребывание здесь...
началось.
83
00:04:58,460 --> 00:05:01,390
Элиза!
84
00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:03,020
Привет, банда!
Привет-привет!
85
00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:07,330
Ну-ка колись, Стиви,
сколько ты за этот год поднял?
86
00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:12,350
Народ! Поздоровайтесь...
87
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,420
с Бинго!
88
00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:21,790
Ну что...
Здорово, что вы приехали.
89
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:26,610
Ага. Неписанный восторг.
90
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:31,120
Ну что, ребята,
чем намерены заняться
91
00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:34,620
в нашем солнечном Коламбусе?
92
00:05:34,650 --> 00:05:36,850
У нас тут лучшие торговые центры
на Среднем Западе.
93
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,520
Не говоря уж об отличных музеях.
94
00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:42,920
Мы к вам что,
на экскурсию приехали?
95
00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:45,450
А ты, Моника, что бы
хотела поделать?
96
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,650
А смысл, что-либо делать?
97
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,250
Не поняла.
98
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,990
Всё тщетно.
99
00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:54,820
Музеи, игры, торговые центры...
100
00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:56,990
Это лишь временное бегство
101
00:05:57,020 --> 00:06:00,220
от неминуемой
неотвратимости смерти.
102
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:02,460
Что с ней такое?
103
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:05,700
Ну-ну, Моника.
104
00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:08,370
С чего такой мрачный
взгляд на вещи?
105
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,400
Возможно, что вы все просто
не в состоянии признать факт
106
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:13,610
вашей собственной
иллюзорности бытия.
107
00:06:15,010 --> 00:06:19,720
В этой безумной вселенной лишь
в одном можно быть уверенным:
108
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:23,270
все мы обязательно умрём.
109
00:06:27,210 --> 00:06:30,550
У нас есть отличные кладбища.
110
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,570
Пойдём, поищем
похоронные процессии.
111
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,720
Оторвёмся по полной.
112
00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:42,970
А помнишь Томми Рэмзи?
113
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,770
Того парня из школы,
что хотел стать дантистом?
114
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:46,800
Да.
115
00:06:46,830 --> 00:06:50,510
Столкнулась с ним в аэропорту.
Он подался в кришнаиты.
116
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:53,440
А вот и мы.
117
00:06:53,470 --> 00:06:55,360
Стиви. Стиви.
Давай помогу.
118
00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:57,110
Спасибо, Марв.
Ты очень любезен.
119
00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:58,810
Не стоит.
120
00:06:59,610 --> 00:07:04,140
Спасибо. Остальной путь
я в состоянии проделать сам.
121
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:05,970
Чего на ужин?
122
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,600
Лапшевник с тунцом.
123
00:07:07,630 --> 00:07:09,600
По особенному рецепту
дяди Стивена.
124
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,640
Объедение.
Тебе понравится.
125
00:07:12,670 --> 00:07:14,900
Эй, у меня каникулы.
Я не ем тунец.
126
00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:16,750
Хочу пиццу.
127
00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:20,640
Что я в машине говорил?
128
00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:23,240
Будешь есть,
что на стол поставят.
129
00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:25,270
Ничего.
Мы можем заказать пиццу.
130
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,440
Он будет есть макароны с тунцом,
как и все остальные.
131
00:07:27,470 --> 00:07:30,240
Мы все будем есть это
особенное блюдо.
132
00:07:30,270 --> 00:07:32,980
Нравится оно нам или нет.
133
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:40,190
Ладно, но я буду есть через силу.
134
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:47,020
Боже, как же они растут,
прямо на наших глазах.
135
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:50,890
Как здорово.
Мы все снова вместе.
136
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,420
Я по вам сильно скучала.
137
00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:54,650
Нужно видеться чаще,
чем раз в год.
138
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:55,820
Точно.
139
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:59,550
Скажу честно, нам очень приятно
принимать вас здесь.
140
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,250
Стиви...
Как у тебя год сложился?
141
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,090
Вполне удачно, Марв.
142
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,690
Дети здоровы, учатся хорошо.
Энди пошёл в садик.
143
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,990
Да не.
В финансовом плане.
144
00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:14,590
Стивен отлично потрудился
на студии в этом году.
145
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,090
Выпустил пару первоклассных
документалок.
146
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,420
Спасибо, дорогая.
147
00:08:18,450 --> 00:08:21,420
А я видела одну из них.
Очень милую.
148
00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:25,220
О микроскопических
таких созданиях.
149
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:30,700
Ах эту. "Инфузория
туфелька: мы делимся".
150
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,990
По мне, так общественное
телевидение – для выскочек.
151
00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:38,650
Так, закуски пожалуйста.
Кушаем.
152
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,020
Только и делают,
что клянчат деньги.
153
00:08:41,050 --> 00:08:43,720
Всё это из-за недостатка
финансирования.
154
00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:46,320
И что?
Кто в этом виноват?
155
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:48,820
Вы чего?
Не надо спорить.
156
00:08:48,850 --> 00:08:50,590
Мы тут должны веселиться.
157
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:54,820
А я что? Во всю веселюсь.
Люблю подкалывать Стиви.
158
00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:59,090
Да и ты от этого в восторге,
правда, Стиви? Ну, признайся!
159
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,760
В неописуемом.
160
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:07,790
Спасибо, Марв.
161
00:09:07,820 --> 00:09:10,990
Твоя налоговая декларация
крайне занимательна.
162
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:15,620
Я прекрасно понял,
что ты заработал кучу денег.
163
00:09:15,650 --> 00:09:20,120
И не забудь: с двойным
сыром и без анчоусов.
164
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:22,790
На этот раз заказывай
правильно.
165
00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:27,130
Ты жуй-жуй, не отвлекайся,
Марв-младший.
166
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,050
Отец, я сильно сомневаюсь,
что выдержу.
167
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,460
Алекс, я тебя понимаю,
168
00:09:32,490 --> 00:09:36,390
но для мамы это очень важно,
и потом, это всего на 5 дней.
169
00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:38,560
Ты прав, отец. Прав.
170
00:09:44,630 --> 00:09:47,490
Ну что, похоже,
все развлекаются, да?
171
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,120
Да, и не говори.
Сплошные развлечения.
172
00:09:51,150 --> 00:09:54,620
Так грустно, что терпеть их нам
173
00:09:54,650 --> 00:10:00,430
осталось лишь
4 дня, два часа и 16 минут.
174
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:05,790
Дорогой, я понимаю, что Марв
не самый близкий тебе друг.
175
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:08,090
И я благодарна тебе
за твои старания.
176
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,590
Ты ведёшь себя,
как чудесный хозяин.
177
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,990
Стиви, Алекс, подите сюда.
178
00:10:13,020 --> 00:10:16,900
Марв-младший засунул
целый грейпфрут себе в рот.
179
00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:21,150
Это нельзя пропустить.
180
00:10:21,180 --> 00:10:23,650
А сам ты не пойдёшь смотреть?
181
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:28,750
Не. Сто раз уж видал.
Кто, думаешь, его научил?
182
00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:30,590
Марв, Марв.
Я попрошу.
183
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:32,090
Стиви!
184
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,130
У вас всё ещё это правило
не курить в доме?
185
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,420
Марв. Марв.
186
00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:39,260
Буду признателен,
если ты не станешь.
187
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,080
Лады, лады, Стиви.
188
00:10:41,110 --> 00:10:44,320
Ты же знаешь мой девиз:
когда ты в Риме...
189
00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:46,390
Как там дальше?
190
00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:49,900
Может, слетаете в Рим
и узнаете?
191
00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:53,390
Подь сюда!
192
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,750
Юморист.
193
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,520
Как же чудесно
быть с семьёй.
194
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,900
Во малой даёт.
195
00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:09,550
Дядя Марв,
тётя Мишель...
196
00:11:09,580 --> 00:11:11,260
Одному Богу ведомо.
197
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:17,620
Ну уж нет!
Разбежались.
198
00:11:17,650 --> 00:11:19,550
Куда это вы намылились?
199
00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:21,600
Прогуляться.
200
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:26,990
Лёгкая прогулка
на 4 дня, 22 часа и 12 минут.
201
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,090
Ясно.
Я с вами.
202
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,050
Так, всем стоять.
203
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,000
Никто не уйдёт без меня.
204
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:39,820
Подождите.
Так нельзя.
205
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:43,520
Этим мы сильно
огорчим маму.
206
00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:45,220
Пап, Моника нас с ума сводит.
207
00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:49,350
Пишет нам учебные некрологи.
208
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:50,790
А мы тут проголодались.
209
00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:53,650
Не утруждайтесь.
Мы сами себя покормим.
210
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,350
Ну и ну, Стиви.
211
00:11:57,930 --> 00:12:01,490
Да ты держишь нас
на сухом пайке.
212
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,290
Ну-ка, Бинги.
Отойди, дружок.
213
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:07,410
Перекусим немного перед сном.
214
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,350
Эх, папа, папа, папа.
215
00:12:12,380 --> 00:12:15,450
Больно видеть тебя таким.
216
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,760
Мы можем тебе
чем-нибудь помочь?
217
00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:22,560
Убейте их.
218
00:12:37,430 --> 00:12:38,850
С утречком, Стиви.
219
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,890
Ага.
220
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,950
Жутко выглядишь.
Не спалось?
221
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,250
Сон?
222
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:49,820
С девяностокилограммовым
сенбернаром на голове не до сна.
223
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:52,860
Разве папочка тебе не говорил,
не мешаться дяде Стиви?
224
00:12:58,330 --> 00:13:01,250
Куда делись мои хлопья?
225
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,670
Ой, извини.
Они были твоими?
226
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,330
А мы и не знали.
Правда, Бинги?
227
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:16,390
Ну, Стиви, какие планы на сегодня?
228
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:20,120
Есть у меня одна задумка.
229
00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:22,650
Мы с Бинго пойдём погулять.
230
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:25,650
А как вернёмся, ты уж
придумай, чем заняться.
231
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,490
Ты же хозяин.
Развлекай нас.
232
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,650
Пойдём, Бинги.
Гулять, Бинги.
233
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,090
Вперёд, мальчик.
234
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,460
Я тебя покормлю.
235
00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:39,820
Доброе утро, отец.
236
00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:42,360
Позавтракал без нас сегодня?
237
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,490
Марв?
238
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,320
И Бинго.
239
00:13:48,350 --> 00:13:50,130
Сколько дней осталось?
240
00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:53,450
Три прошло, два впереди.
241
00:13:55,980 --> 00:13:58,700
Я не вынесу.
Берегите себя.
242
00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:01,800
Так, ну всё.
Это уже серьёзно.
243
00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:03,500
Отец на грани срыва.
244
00:14:03,530 --> 00:14:05,700
Нам тоже не просто.
245
00:14:05,730 --> 00:14:10,840
Общаться с Моникой – это как
в фильме Бергмана находиться.
246
00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:14,700
А общаться
с Марвом-младшим – это как...
247
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:17,700
Да это ни с чем не сравнить!
248
00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:20,650
Нам нужно как-то
разгрузить папу.
249
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:25,700
Или хотя бы увести их из дома,
пусть он денёк проведёт в покое.
250
00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:27,200
Точно. Я придумала.
251
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:29,540
Скажем, что в центре
раздают бесплатную еду.
252
00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:31,850
Так мы избавимся
от Марва и Марва-младшего.
253
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:35,370
А с Моникой что?
Как её выманить из дома?
254
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:39,880
Скажем, что сегодня
казнят через повешение.
255
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:44,370
Добрейшее утро,
мои прекрасные родственники!
256
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,870
Мама просила
быть с вами вежливым.
257
00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:50,040
У тебя отлично получается,
Марв-младший.
258
00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:51,370
На тебе моя рубашка!
259
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,540
Ничего подобного!
260
00:14:52,570 --> 00:14:53,600
Что, правда?
261
00:14:53,630 --> 00:14:55,370
А буквы А. П. К.
что, по-твоему, значат?
262
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,870
"Адин прекрасный кузен".
263
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,800
Слушай сюда, Марв-младший.
264
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:04,050
Алекс, три прошло, два осталось.
265
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,030
Слушайте, ребята,
хотите посмотреть
266
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:08,340
на достопримечательности
Коламбуса?
267
00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:12,770
Да, это будут полные веселья
две минуты.
268
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:18,100
Можем начать с центра.
Центрон, Джермантаун.
269
00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:20,300
Огайский музей искусств.
270
00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:22,670
Я ни ногой из машины.
271
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:27,070
Моника, вокруг полно интересных
и увлекательных вещей.
272
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,040
Мы отлично проведём день.
273
00:15:29,070 --> 00:15:31,140
Не смешите мои тапочки.
274
00:15:31,170 --> 00:15:34,970
Да уж скорее они засмеются.
275
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,740
Так, у меня каникулы.
276
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,650
Никто не будет указывать,
что делать Марву-младшему.
277
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:42,950
Ну всё, договорился...
278
00:15:47,650 --> 00:15:50,800
маленький ты недоумок.
279
00:15:50,830 --> 00:15:53,500
Ты как миленький пойдёшь
с нами в торговый центр.
280
00:15:53,530 --> 00:15:57,580
На пару со своей сестрой,
Тёмной Жницей.
281
00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:06,480
Ну, ребята.
282
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,450
Чем сегодня хотите заняться?
283
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,100
Ничем не хотим.
284
00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:20,490
Хотим сходить
в дурацкий центр.
285
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,150
Отличная мысль.
286
00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:24,220
Айда, Стиви.
Прикупим тебе модный прикид.
287
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:26,550
Он тебе ох как не помешает.
288
00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:28,220
И не вздумай благодарить.
289
00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:30,020
Для этого и нужны зятья.
290
00:16:30,050 --> 00:16:32,900
Подь сюда.
Давай обнимемся.
291
00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:41,250
Не хватает одного пазла.
292
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,560
Может, кто-то из Марвов его съел?
293
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:46,990
Вполне возможно.
294
00:16:47,020 --> 00:16:49,870
Но не переживай.
Скоро они уедут.
295
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:54,260
Три прошло, два осталось.
296
00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:58,320
Ох и не говори.
297
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:02,090
А знаешь, мы с тобой
отлично проводим время.
298
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,220
Меня начало отпускать.
Думаю, я справлюсь.
299
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,000
Молодцом, пап.
300
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:12,150
Энди, пора спать.
Дженнифер тебя уложит.
301
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:14,150
Дай-ка поцелую.
302
00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:16,150
И я!
303
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:17,990
Спокойной ночи, мама, папа.
304
00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:19,030
Спокойной ночи.
305
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,490
Стивен, я знаю,
тебе это даётся нелегко.
306
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,250
Но скажу тебе,
307
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,990
сегодня ты отлично держался
308
00:17:30,020 --> 00:17:32,890
и с Марвом, и с Мишель,
и с их детьми.
309
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:34,890
Спасибо, дорогая.
Я скажу тебе в ответ,
310
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,770
это того стоило, чтобы побыть
вот так с тобой наедине.
311
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,380
У нас тут словно убежище,
312
00:17:39,410 --> 00:17:42,730
уютненький рай,
в котором можно скрыться.
313
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:46,430
Опаньки!
314
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,200
Спасибо, за ватные палочки,
тётя Элиза.
315
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:52,360
Можете не провожать.
316
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,820
Спокойной ночи, дорогая.
317
00:17:58,850 --> 00:18:00,860
Спокойной ночи, Стивен.
318
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:10,820
Слушаю.
319
00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:12,260
Да.
320
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,650
Да.
321
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,320
Минутку, пожалуйста.
322
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:21,650
Некто Бадди с Гавайев
звонит Марву...
323
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:22,960
за счёт абонента.
324
00:18:22,990 --> 00:18:24,310
Что?
325
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:29,650
Марв!
Звонит Бадди.
326
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,340
С Гавайев!
За счёт абонента!
327
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,190
Спасибо, Стиви.
Я ждал этого звонка.
328
00:18:38,830 --> 00:18:39,950
Бадди?
329
00:18:39,980 --> 00:18:42,600
Здорово, друган!
330
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,960
Как житуха, Бадди?
331
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:52,090
Ясно, друг.
Давай ближе к делу.
332
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,420
Чего уж мелочиться?
333
00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:56,990
Жалкие две тысячи штук
керамических ананасов? Брось!
334
00:18:57,020 --> 00:19:00,090
Марв, что ты делаешь
в их постели?
335
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,520
Людям нужно спать.
Заканчивай!
336
00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:03,690
Лады, лады.
337
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,820
Бадди, я тебе завтра перезвоню.
338
00:19:05,850 --> 00:19:07,490
На Таити.
339
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,650
Слышь, друг.
340
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,820
Будут ананасовые люди,
перезвони.
341
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,490
Вы ведь не против звонка
ананасовых людей?
342
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,930
Дай им наш бесплатный
междугородний телефон.
343
00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:20,490
Ладно, ребята, споки-ноки.
Спите, не ворочайтесь.
344
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,760
Если Бадди позвонит...
Иду, иду.
345
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,580
Это ещё что за чертовщина?
346
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,600
Можно с вами поспать?
Мне страшно.
347
00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:41,450
Залезай.
348
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,320
Я не пойду туда одна.
349
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,250
Мне место тоже оставьте.
350
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:51,950
Сами говорили, нам нужно
больше бывать вместе.
351
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,560
Я могу всё объяснить.
352
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:59,920
С меня хватит.
Он спятил!
353
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:01,890
Они сегодня же
уезжают отсюда!
354
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,150
Прямо сейчас!
355
00:20:03,180 --> 00:20:04,050
Стивен!
356
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:08,150
Ладно, Мишель.
Ты с детьми можешь остаться.
357
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:10,760
А вообще, только ты.
358
00:20:12,730 --> 00:20:16,280
Имеются у вас
какие пожелания?
359
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:21,030
Да, имеются.
Вон!
360
00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,780
Ну что, не могу не сказать,
361
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:28,530
радостнее время
я ещё не проводила.
362
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,410
Спасибо, что приняли нас.
363
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,960
Но на следующий год
я лучше смотаюсь в Европу.
364
00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:42,800
Наконец-то это зако...
365
00:20:42,830 --> 00:20:45,370
Марв-младший,
ты надел мои брюки!
366
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,070
Эй, стой!
367
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:50,640
Элиза, мы старались.
368
00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:55,470
Не забывай, Мишель,
тебе не обязательно уезжать.
369
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,800
Это заманчиво, Стивен.
370
00:20:57,830 --> 00:21:02,050
Но мы приехали одной
семьёй, одной и уедем.
371
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:06,070
Стиви, Элиза!
Здорово я повеселился.
372
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:09,500
Мы все, Марв.
Очень жаль так расставаться.
373
00:21:09,530 --> 00:21:10,540
Не бери в голову.
374
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:13,380
Слушайте, будете в наших
краях, милости просим.
375
00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:17,250
Заезжайте, не побрезгуйте.
Развлечём вас по полной!
376
00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:23,140
Марв-младший взял мои штаны.
377
00:21:23,170 --> 00:21:25,200
С ним бывает.
378
00:21:25,230 --> 00:21:26,870
Пока-пока.
379
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:28,040
Пока.
380
00:21:28,070 --> 00:21:29,870
До свидания.
381
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:31,370
Пока-пока.
382
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,200
Ура. Ура!
383
00:21:34,230 --> 00:21:36,560
Теперь всё встанет на свои места.
384
00:21:36,590 --> 00:21:40,940
Только нас шестеро.
Одна счастливая семья.
385
00:21:40,970 --> 00:21:42,700
Хорошо.
386
00:21:42,730 --> 00:21:45,540
Согласна, Марв невозможен.
387
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:48,380
И вам всем сложно
находиться с ними.
388
00:21:49,950 --> 00:21:52,060
Но я люблю сестру.
389
00:21:52,090 --> 00:21:54,700
Для меня радость
повидаться с ней.
390
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,780
Поставьте себя на моё место.
391
00:21:58,380 --> 00:22:00,140
Алекс, Мэллори,
вот вы брат и сестра.
392
00:22:00,170 --> 00:22:02,950
Вы любите друг друга,
заботитесь. Верно?
393
00:22:05,630 --> 00:22:07,720
Ну предположим.
394
00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:10,520
- Ладно, да.
- Бывает изредка.
395
00:22:10,550 --> 00:22:12,850
Так вот.
396
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,020
Скажем, Мэллори выйдет
за парня,
397
00:22:15,050 --> 00:22:16,620
который не нравится Алексу.
398
00:22:16,650 --> 00:22:22,290
За Ника, например.
Как вариант.
399
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,850
Хорошо. Как вы справитесь
с этой ситуацией?
400
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,890
Не будем видеться.
401
00:22:32,530 --> 00:22:35,490
Элиза. Хотелось бы,
чтоб было по-другому.
402
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,560
Они родственники, но это не значит,
что мы все должны ладить.
403
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:41,650
Я очень старался.
404
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:46,190
И чувствую, что в некотором
смысле... подвёл тебя.
405
00:22:46,220 --> 00:22:47,190
И мы тоже.
406
00:22:47,220 --> 00:22:48,290
Извини, мам.
407
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,490
Нам очень жаль.
408
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,990
Спасибо.
Я ценю ваши слова.
409
00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:55,930
Они уехали!
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