2
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,086
Oh, hey, you guys?
3
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:07,047
I couldn't get a reservation
for the night of my birthday...
4
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,383
...so we'll have to do dinner
Thursday night instead.
5
00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:14,513
- Thursday? But that's Halloween.
So?
6
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:17,016
It's just spooky, that's all.
7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,768
Uh, so is Mike coming to dinner?
8
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:23,731
No. It's my first birthday
with a boyfriend, and he has to work.
9
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:27,943
I'd get mad at him, but I think
it's too soon to show my true colors.
10
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,405
Well, I would make the reservation
for five.
11
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,198
One of us has to stay home
and watch Emma.
12
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,451
- Which one of us should go to dinner?
- Oh, Rachel.
13
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:41,874
Uh, actually, I was thinking
maybe both of us could go.
14
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,500
Oh, yay.
15
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,713
Thanks. I'll put a lot of extra thought
into your gift.
16
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:51,300
All right, so great, we can all go now.
17
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:54,178
That is fun. Hey. You know what?
18
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:57,806
We all haven't been together,
the six of us, in such a long time.
19
00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,225
What are you talking about?
We're all together now.
20
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:03,020
Uh, Mon? Chandler's not here.
21
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,150
Oh, dear God.
22
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,860
Hello, everyone. It's nice to see
our team together for the first time.
23
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:55,447
Now, before we get started,
are there any questions?
24
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,366
- Yes. Ken, is it?
KEN: That's right.
25
00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:00,744
Is it true the reason you're in Tulsa
is that you fell asleep in a meeting...
26
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,914
...and took the job without realizing
what you were saying yes to?
27
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,169
Well, don't believe
everything you hear, Ken.
28
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,879
But yeah, that's true.
29
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:17,594
All right, let's get started by, uh,
taking a look at last quarter's figures.
30
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:23,100
Uh, Claudia, aren't you supposed
to blow smoke up the boss's ass?
31
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:29,648
- I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you?
- No. I smoked for years. Then I quit.
32
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,234
Right now, I can't remember why.
33
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,237
You're not allowed to smoke
in this office though, right?
34
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:39,032
Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke
in offices with 15 people or less.
35
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,870
- Would you like one?
- All right, look. I don't smoke anymore.
36
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:46,331
But if the rest of you want to light up,
go ahead, it's fine.
37
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:52,129
So you all smoke, then? Heh.
38
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:55,382
You know, it's almost rude
that I'm not smoking.
39
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,968
- That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke...
- Ken, please!
40
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:04,349
No, I can't. I can't smoke.
If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
41
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,810
I'm sorry, but isn't your wife
back in New York?
42
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,815
I've always liked you, Ken.
43
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:19,656
Trick or treat.
44
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,368
Hey.
- Ooh, and "treat" it is.
45
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,373
Wow. So glad I changed.
46
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:32,753
I almost wore my threadbare robe
that can't contain my breasts.
47
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,090
This is not what I'm wearing.
I'm ovulating...
48
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:40,677
...and Chandler's gonna be home.
So I thought we would try before dinner.
49
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,598
Oh. Wait, does that...? You guys won't
be late for my dinner, will you?
50
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,975
Chandler and I have not seen each other
in over a week.
51
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,727
We'll probably be the first ones there.
52
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,688
Okay. See you there. Happy humping.
53
00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:55,567
Hey. Well, hey.
54
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:59,112
Oh. Wow, somebody smoked out here?
55
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:04,785
My God, don't people know you're
not allowed to smoke in public spaces?
56
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:10,666
Actually, in Oklahoma, smoking is legal
in offices with fewer than 15 people.
57
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,126
Oh, you smoked.
58
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:18,090
No. I just happen to know a lot of trivia
about smoking in different states.
59
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:22,844
For example, in Hawaii,
cigarettes are called lei-lana-lukus.
60
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:28,767
- Oh, Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.
- Do you think Monica is gonna smell it?
61
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,479
Are you kidding? That woman
has the nose of a bloodhound.
62
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:36,066
And the breasts of a Greek goddess.
63
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,613
Pheebs?
64
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,408
I'm gonna go.
65
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:51,581
Okay. Something to cover the smell.
66
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,129
Oven cleaner.
67
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,177
Unscented.
68
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,347
Welcome home.
69
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,351
I've missed you.
70
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:16,064
- You wanna join me in the bedroom?
- No, thanks, I'm good.
71
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:20,944
Oh, okay. So you want to play it
that way, do you?
72
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:23,864
Well, uh, you know what?
Actually, I just got off a plane...
73
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,366
...so I'm feeling gross.
Maybe I should take a shower.
74
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:30,329
- Come here, you don't need a shower.
- All right, the truth is...
75
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,373
...I soiled myself
during some turbulence.
76
00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:40,422
What do I smell? I smell smoke.
77
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,757
Did you smoke?
78
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,802
Yes. But I just had one.
79
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,429
Two.
80
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,349
Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five.
81
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:55,937
A pack. Two pack... A carton.
82
00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,607
Three big fat cartons in two days.
83
00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,403
But it's over. I've made a decision,
I'm not gonna smoke anymore.
84
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,201
Well, those are for you.
85
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:14,956
All right. Well, we'll just, uh,
see you when you get here. Bye.
86
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,752
Oh, that was my mom.
She's stuck in terrible traffic.
87
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:21,713
Okay, well, that is now the third sign
that I should not leave Emma.
88
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,925
- What are the other two?
- Well, the first one is, I don't want to.
89
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,595
And second one, I'm not going.
90
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,931
I know this is the first time
we're leaving the baby.
91
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,558
Hey, I know how hard it is for you. But...
92
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,853
But everything's gonna be fine.
I mean, my mom is gonna be with her.
93
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,189
- She's great with kids.
- She is?
94
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,191
Yeah.
95
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,235
What about Monica?
96
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:47,531
Hey, you only hear Monica's side of that.
Okay, that little fatso was a terror.
97
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:54,913
- I just don't think I can do it.
- You know what? You can and you should.
98
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,082
Really, it'll be good for you.
99
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,291
In fact, you know what?
100
00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:01,545
Why don't you go ahead to the restaurant,
and I will wait for my mom...
101
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:05,424
...and then I'll meet you there?
No, no, really, you should go. Go out.
102
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:12,139
Really, the world is your oyster.
Kick up your heels. Paint the town red.
103
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:17,352
- You need to learn some new slang.
- I'm serious. Come on, you should go.
104
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,397
Here. No, just go.
105
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,524
- Well... Oh!
- No, no. You know what?
106
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:26,695
You're not getting back in there.
The baby's fine. Now, scram.
107
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,740
Yeah, tell your story walking.
108
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,953
I was just going to say
that I left my keys.
109
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,788
Oh.
110
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:41,751
Holy moley, are we in a pickle now.
111
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,633
Where is everyone?
They're 40 minutes late.
112
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,802
- I know.
- I'm starving.
113
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,680
I knew we were coming here tonight.
I ate nothing all day.
114
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,016
What about me?
I only had one lunch today.
115
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,687
So are we expecting
the rest of our party shortly?
116
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,231
Yes, they are expected presently.
Yeah.
117
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:07,027
Their, um... Their arrival is in the offing.
118
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,488
Right. We do have
a table for two available.
119
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,323
- Perhaps you'd be...
- No, they're coming.
120
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,991
We're waiting right here.
121
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,911
Joseph.
122
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,624
One needn't worry. They shan't be long.
123
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:24,377
It's just that we do have
some large parties waiting.
124
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,506
Oh, one really does have a stick
up one's ass, doesn't one?
125
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:33,553
How can you smoke in this day and age?
Have you not seen that ad? Huh?
126
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:37,557
Where the little kid walks
through Grandpa? It's chilling.
127
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,602
I messed up. It was a meeting.
Everybody was smoking.
128
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,938
So what? Don't you have any willpower?
129
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:46,066
Willpower? I've watched home movies
of you eating Ding Dongs...
130
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,068
...without taking the tinfoil off.
131
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,739
You said that was sexy.
132
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:58,161
Okay, look, can we just drop this?
I'm not gonna smoke again.
133
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,872
That's right, because I forbid you
to smoke again.
134
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,499
- You forbid me?
- Mm-hm.
135
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,544
You know, I've flown a long way
to see my loving wife.
136
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,629
Is she here, by the way?
137
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:13,218
Chandler, don't joke with me. Okay?
I'm very, very upset right now.
138
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,804
Oh. Would you say this is the most upset
you could be?
139
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,013
I think so.
140
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,307
Well, then I might as well...
141
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,601
...do this.
142
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,406
Not really sure what to do now.
143
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,201
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
144
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,954
We're already late
for Phoebe's birthday dinner.
145
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,039
So you're going to put out
that cigarette...
146
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,042
...we're gonna put this fight on hold,
and go have sex.
147
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,296
Fine. What?
148
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:52,340
Sex. This is the last day I'm ovulating.
If we don't do it...
149
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,676
...we're gonna have to wait
until next month.
150
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,845
You're serious?
151
00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:00,515
- Oh, yeah.
- All right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking.
152
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:03,685
- And no cuddling.
- And no kissing your neck.
153
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:05,812
Oh, good. I hate it when you do that.
154
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:12,319
And lots of kissing your neck.
155
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:14,946
Okay, well, the super's not home.
156
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,699
But my mother's gonna be here,
and she has the key.
157
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:21,119
I can't wait that long. You have to do
something. Knock that door down.
158
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,496
I would, but I bruise like a peach.
159
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:29,836
Besides, you know, everything's
gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping.
160
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,881
- What if she jumps out of the bassinet?
- Can't hold her own head up.
161
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,257
But, yeah, jumped.
162
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,260
Oh, my God.
I left the water running.
163
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:41,306
You did not leave the water running.
Please, pull yourself together, okay?
164
00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:45,810
- Well, did I leave the stove on?
- You haven't cooked since 1996.
165
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,773
Is the window open? If the window's
open a bird could fly in and...
166
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,858
Oh, my God, you know what?
I think you're right.
167
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,443
- Listen.
- What? What?
168
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:58,031
A pigeon. No. No, wait, no.
An eagle flew in.
169
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,118
Landed on the stove and caught fire.
170
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:10,377
The baby, seeing this, jumps across
the apartment to the mighty bird's aid.
171
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:13,380
The eagle, however, misconstrues this
as an act of aggression...
172
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,256
...and grabs the baby in its talon.
173
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:18,677
Meanwhile, the faucet
fills the apartment with water.
174
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:22,347
Baby and bird, still ablaze,
are locked in a death grip...
175
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:27,352
...swirling around the whirlpool
that fills the apartment.
176
00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:31,231
Boy, are you gonna be sorry
if that's true.
177
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,570
- Hello.
Hi.
178
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,698
It's been an hour.
179
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:43,868
The maitre d' asked if you'd reconsider
switching to a smaller table.
180
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:45,662
Maybe we should just eat now.
181
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:49,457
You can't order until the entire
party's arrived. Restaurant policy.
182
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,585
Well, how about this?
Another table leaves, right...
183
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,797
...but there's still some food left
on their plates.
184
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,426
Okay, what's the restaurant's policy
about people eating that?
185
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:02,554
- It's frowned upon.
- But it happens.
186
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,560
- All right, I gotta go to the bathroom.
- No, you can't go.
187
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,979
No, no, no.
I can't hold this table on my own.
188
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,189
If they ask me to move, I'll cave.
189
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,358
Well, if you ask me to stay, I'll pee.
190
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,992
Good evening, miss.
191
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,911
Miss?
192
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,291
Miss? Miss?
193
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:36,045
Okay, fine, I'll move. All right.
You don't have to manhandle me.
194
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:40,550
Where? Okay.
195
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,719
Thank you.
196
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:44,846
Wow.
197
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,937
Finally, you guys made it.
198
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,279
Pheebs, who the hell...? Ah!
199
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:12,540
Spend more time with the tie.
That'll make a baby.
200
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:17,670
Look, I can't do this. I can't make love
to you while we're fighting this way.
201
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,173
Oh, sure. Now you're Mr. Sensitivity.
202
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:23,009
But when you wanted to have sex
right after my uncle's funeral...
203
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,303
That was a celebration of life.
204
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,598
All right, look, I'm not gonna do this.
205
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,309
Is this the way you want our baby
to be conceived?
206
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,771
No, you're right.
207
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,649
Yeah, we shouldn't do it like this.
208
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,530
For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
209
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,991
I shouldn't have come down on you
so hard about the smoking.
210
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:51,162
So you had a few cigarettes.
It's not the end of the world.
211
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,957
- Really?
- Yeah.
212
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,459
You are incredible.
213
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,170
And listen,
I'm not gonna smoke again.
214
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,423
And if I do, I promise
I will hide it so much better from you.
215
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,058
- Do you want to?
- Yeah, let's celebrate life.
216
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,810
Okay.
217
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,772
Oh, God.
218
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,816
Oh, thank God you're okay.
219
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,485
I'm sorry we left you.
Mommy will never leave you again.
220
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:25,697
Never, ever, ever again.
221
00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:27,740
Great. So let's get going.
222
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,579
Oh, no. I mean it. After what just happened,
I'm never leaving her again.
223
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,540
I understand. Separation is hard.
224
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:39,711
One time I was about to leave Ross
to go to the beauty parlor.
225
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,630
And he got so upset
he took off all his clothes...
226
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:46,050
...tucked his willy between his legs...
227
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:51,055
...and cried out,
"Mommy, I'm a girl. Take me with you."
228
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:02,984
Somehow, over time,
it got easier to be apart from you.
229
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,280
Ah.
230
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:11,075
You are welcome.
231
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:15,496
- You know what? Let's not talk.
- What?
232
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:19,167
- I am still so mad at you for smoking.
- But you said you forgave me.
233
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,169
It was just a couple of cigarettes,
no big deal.
234
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,212
Oh, blah-blah-blah-blah.
235
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:28,801
I was ovulating and you said you wouldn't
have sex with me if we were fighting.
236
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:35,391
- You tricked me to get me into bed?
- That's right. I got mine.
237
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,730
I feel so used.
238
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,485
Well, I guess they're not coming.
You want to just order?
239
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,196
Thank you.
240
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:54,953
Waiter? All right, this is gonna
go fast, so try to keep up.
241
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:57,246
Risotto with shaved truffles
and the rib steak...
242
00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,958
...with the golden chanterelles
and the Bordelaise sauce...
243
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:03,628
...unless any of that stuff I just said
means "snails."
244
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,298
- It does not.
- Tomato tart...
245
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,467
...and, um, which of the pastas
would you recommend?
246
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,470
- Oh, well, they're both exquis...
- Both it is. Thank you.
247
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,847
Oh, uh, can I make a special request?
248
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,891
Can you bring everything
as soon as it's ready?
249
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,601
Appetizers, entr?es, we don't care.
250
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,019
Hey.
Hi. Hi.
251
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:25,400
- I'll just wait to put your order in.
- You guys are over an hour late.
252
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,735
- What happened to you two?
So sorry.
253
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:31,280
- We got locked out of the apartment.
- That's a great story. Can I eat it?
254
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,243
And then Rachel wasn't sure
she could leave the baby.
255
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,871
It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday
and I did what I had to do.
256
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,541
And that's Judy over there at the bar
with Emma?
257
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,423
This is for the best. I'm not distracted,
worrying about Emma...
258
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:52,218
...how she's doing at home, and I'm
gonna be completely here with you.
259
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,720
- Oh, she spit up.
- What?
260
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:57,098
She spit up. Judy? She spit...
Judy, look alive, Judy.
261
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,937
Thank you.
- Thanks.
262
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:07,775
Ooh.
- Whew, everything looks delicious.
263
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:11,738
What should I have?
What should I have?
264
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:15,783
Never hit a woman.
Never hit a woman.
265
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,703
I know what you mean,
this looks incredible.
266
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:21,789
Ross bruises like a peach.
He bruises like a peach.
267
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,209
Okay, I'll have the fig salad
and the duck.
268
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,211
I'll have the, uh, soup and the salmon.
269
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,380
Remember, whatever comes up first,
okay?
270
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:30,923
- And hurry...
- Happy birthday.
271
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,258
Son of a bitch.
272
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,512
- Where have you been?
- Well, we had a little fight.
273
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,681
I would never lie
to get someone into bed.
274
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:42,477
You used to tell girls
you were a Kennedy.
275
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,481
Thanks.
276
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,735
Thanks. Wow.
277
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,780
A little tight, isn't it?
Why didn't you get a bigger table?
278
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,285
You had a big table
but they made you move.
279
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,912
Ha, ha. Shut up, Monica.
280
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:07,085
Oh, well, I suppose that Chandler
will have the smoked duck.
281
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:13,591
And I suppose that Monica
will have the manipulative shrew.
282
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,302
- I'll give you another minute.
- What, where you going?
283
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:19,138
He said she wanted the shrew.
284
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,100
Rach, come on, Emma's fine.
285
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:26,479
You're turning into an obsessive mother,
okay? You need to stop.
286
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:31,859
You guys ever hear the story about
when Ross' mom went to the beauty salon?
287
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:38,074
- You mean the willy story?
- Ha, ha. They already know it.
288
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,955
We've been waiting for you
for a long time.
289
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,623
- Maybe you should order.
- That's okay.
290
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,668
- I told the waiter what they want.
- Why would you do that?
291
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:51,212
Chandler, control your woman.
292
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:54,590
Okay, well...
Everybody has ordered.
293
00:18:54,758 --> 00:19:01,430
I would like to start the celebration
and make a toast to Phoebe.
294
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:04,976
- She dropped her sock.
- Aw. What?
295
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:08,688
- No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Mom's here?
296
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:12,900
I wanted to have lunch with her today.
She told me she was out of town.
297
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,154
Ross, she still has not noticed
that the baby's sock is on the ground.
298
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:18,656
It's a good toast.
299
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,492
Look, will you please get her attention?
300
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,620
Mommy?
301
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,756
Oh, for God's sake, Judy,
pick up the sock.
302
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:39,010
Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!
303
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,266
I'm sorry, was that rude?
304
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,353
Did my little outburst...
305
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:53,733
...blunt the hideousness
that is this evening?
306
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,818
Look, I know you all
have a lot going on...
307
00:19:55,986 --> 00:20:01,908
...but all I wanted to do was have dinner
with my friends on my birthday.
308
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:05,745
And you are all so late, and you
didn't even have the courtesy to call.
309
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:11,959
Well, it's too late now.
310
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,878
Yeah, Pheebs, I don't think that's us.
311
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:19,550
Oh, well, this is... This is not over.
Hello?
312
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:25,431
- What is going on with you two?
- Well, you see, I'm ovulating.
313
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,226
Oh, yeah, that's what she says.
314
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:34,023
But maybe you're not ovulating at all.
Maybe it's a clever ruse to get me into bed.
315
00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:38,861
Yeah, Smokey, that's what it was.
I just can't get enough.
316
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,322
You're not gonna believe this. She lied.
317
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:43,741
She tricked me into having sex with her.
318
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,453
So? You got to have sex, right?
319
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,956
What's the matter with me?
Why am I such a girl?
320
00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:56,045
- Okay. That was Mike.
- Oh, Phoebe, honey, we are so sorry.
321
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,423
You are totally right.
We are here 100 percent...
322
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,969
...and we love you, and we are ready
to start your birthday celebration.
323
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:06,347
Oh. You guys,
that means the world to me.
324
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:10,935
Okay, I'm gonna take off.
325
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,188
What?
326
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,774
Oh, I love you guys too,
but Mike got off work early.
327
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,776
Wait.
328
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:23,489
Wait. I'm not the... I'm not the kind of girl
that just ditches her friends...
329
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,908
...to be with her boyfriend.
330
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,410
You know what? I am.
331
00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:30,830
Bye, guys. Judy. Bye.
332
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,001
Oh, thank God. If Phoebe's gone,
can we take Emma home?
333
00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:39,255
That's a good idea. Our babysitter
just pounded another chardonnay.
334
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:40,673
- Bye, you guys.
Bye.
335
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:44,510
See you. Well, I guess it's just us.
336
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:52,685
So I'm probably still ovulating.
Do you wanna give it another try?
337
00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:56,147
So you've never had sex
with a Kennedy, have you?
338
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,567
- You're gonna go do it?
- We don't have much time.
339
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,902
Once the egg descends into the
fallopian tube...
340
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,946
Whoa, whoa, get out of here.
341
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:11,662
I sincerely hope the rest of your party
is returning.
342
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,206
No, just me. All alone.
343
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,672
Dinner for six for one.
344
00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:25,676
Well, you boys are about
to see something really special.
345
00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:41,025
- How was everything, sir?
- Excellent.
346
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:44,445
The shrew, in particular, was exquisite.
347
00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:47,198
Well, I hope you've got some room left.
348
00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:50,659
Happy birthday to you
349
00:22:50,827 --> 00:22:53,496
Happy birthday to you
350
00:22:53,663 --> 00:22:55,664
Happy birthday, dear
351
00:22:55,832 --> 00:22:56,999
Joey. Joey.
352
00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:58,793
Joey
353
00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:02,171
Happy birthday to you
354
00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:04,965
This is the best birthday ever.
|
1
00:00:01,780 --> 00:00:03,008
Эй, вы все!
2
00:00:03,181 --> 00:00:05,979
Я не смогла забронировать столик на день моего
рождения...
3
00:00:06,184 --> 00:00:08,311
...поэтому нам придется праздновать в Четверг.
4
00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:13,423
-Четверг? Но это же Хэллоуин.
-И что?
5
00:00:13,825 --> 00:00:15,918
Это страшно как то.
6
00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:18,692
А Майк придет на ужин?
7
00:00:18,897 --> 00:00:22,663
Нет. Мой первый день рождения с бойфрендом, а
ему нужно работать.
8
00:00:22,834 --> 00:00:26,861
Я разозлилась на его, но думаю еще рано показывать
свое истинное лицо.
9
00:00:28,607 --> 00:00:32,099
Я сделаю заказ на пятерых. Кто то из нас должен
остаться с Эммой.
10
00:00:32,277 --> 00:00:34,370
-Кому из нас сходить на ужин?
-Рейчел.
11
00:00:36,748 --> 00:00:40,809
Вообще-то я думаю что мы оба можем сходить.
12
00:00:43,855 --> 00:00:46,619
И спасибо. У меня появилось много новых мыслей
на счет подарка тебе.
13
00:00:48,026 --> 00:00:50,221
Отлично, прекрасно, пойдем все вместе.
14
00:00:50,395 --> 00:00:52,863
Забавно, знаете...
15
00:00:53,031 --> 00:00:56,728
...мы уже давно не были все вместе, вшестером.
16
00:00:56,935 --> 00:00:59,130
О чем ты? Мы сейчас все вместе.
17
00:00:59,371 --> 00:01:01,931
Моника? Здесь нет Чендлера.
18
00:01:05,644 --> 00:01:07,077
О Боже.
19
00:01:56,428 --> 00:01:59,397
Здравствуйте. Приятно впервые видеть нашу команду
в сборе.
20
00:01:59,564 --> 00:02:02,965
Прежде чем мы начнем, может у кого то есть вопросы?
21
00:02:03,168 --> 00:02:04,897
-Да. Кен, правильно?
-Верно.
22
00:02:05,070 --> 00:02:08,437
Правда ли что вы в Талсе из-за того, что заснули
на собрании...
23
00:02:08,607 --> 00:02:12,202
...и согласились переехать не понимая на что вы
соглашаетесь?
24
00:02:13,612 --> 00:02:16,672
Не верьте всему что вы слышите, Кен.
25
00:02:16,848 --> 00:02:18,406
Но да, это правда.
26
00:02:19,785 --> 00:02:25,121
Ну что же, приступим, взглянем на цифры за последний
квартал.
27
00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:30,625
Клаудиа, у вас принято курить боссу в лицо?
28
00:02:31,329 --> 00:02:37,165
-Простите. Вас мешает дым?
-Нет. Я курил много лет. А теперь бросил.
29
00:02:37,335 --> 00:02:39,769
Сейчас я не могу вспомнить почему.
30
00:02:40,439 --> 00:02:42,771
Тем не менее вам запрещено курить в офисе, не
так ли?
31
00:02:42,974 --> 00:02:46,535
В Оклахоме можно курить в помещениях где находится
меньше 15 человек.
32
00:02:46,712 --> 00:02:49,943
-Хотите взять одну?
-А Джоуи хочет две пиццы?
33
00:02:52,718 --> 00:02:54,879
Вы не знаете о ком я.
34
00:02:55,454 --> 00:02:57,319
Хорошо, я больше не курю.
35
00:02:57,556 --> 00:03:00,787
Но если кто то из вас хочет закурить, давайте.
36
00:03:04,262 --> 00:03:06,594
Вы что все курите?
37
00:03:06,765 --> 00:03:09,825
Знаете что, будет грубостью не закурить.
38
00:03:10,068 --> 00:03:12,434
-Не правда, если вы не хотите...
-Кен замолчите.
39
00:03:15,741 --> 00:03:18,801
Нет я не могу, если я закурю моя жена меня убьет.
40
00:03:19,044 --> 00:03:21,274
Простите, разве ваша жена не в Нью-Йорке?
41
00:03:23,348 --> 00:03:26,283
Ты мне всегда нравился, Кен.
42
00:03:31,656 --> 00:03:34,420
Кошелек или жизнь.
43
00:03:35,961 --> 00:03:37,826
-Привет.
-А вот и жизнь.
44
00:03:40,599 --> 00:03:42,829
Хорошо что я переоделась.
45
00:03:43,435 --> 00:03:47,201
Я почти надела поношенный халат,
который едва ли спрячет мою грудь.
46
00:03:49,474 --> 00:03:51,567
Я в этом не пойду. У меня овуляция...
47
00:03:51,743 --> 00:03:55,144
...а Чендлер скора будет дома. Я думаю мы попробуем
зачать ребенка перед ужином.
48
00:03:56,615 --> 00:03:58,378
Я думала мы пойдем на ужин все вместе.
49
00:03:58,550 --> 00:04:01,110
Ну ладно, тогда просто встретимся там.
50
00:04:01,286 --> 00:04:05,950
А вообще, ну в смысле, если это
поможет, я могла бы остаться и смотреть.
51
00:04:07,392 --> 00:04:09,792
-Нет
-Ну, не очень-то и хотелось
52
00:04:09,961 --> 00:04:13,488
Это просто вежливое предложение
53
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,129
Подожди, а это значит что вы опоздаете?
54
00:04:17,302 --> 00:04:19,202
Мы друг друга больше недели не видели.
55
00:04:19,371 --> 00:04:21,202
Скорее всего придем туда первые.
56
00:04:22,307 --> 00:04:24,172
Ладно. До встречи. Счастливо потрахаться.
57
00:04:26,611 --> 00:04:28,044
-Привет.
-Ну, привет.
58
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,608
Здесь кто-то курил?
59
00:04:33,752 --> 00:04:37,244
О Господи, неужели люди не знают, что курить в
общественных местах запрещено.
60
00:04:37,489 --> 00:04:43,621
А вот в Оклахоме курить можно, если в помещении
меньше 15 человек.
61
00:04:43,829 --> 00:04:45,626
А, ты курил.
62
00:04:45,831 --> 00:04:50,564
Нет. Просто я много знаю о традициях связаных
с курением в разных штатах.
63
00:04:50,735 --> 00:04:55,331
Например, на Гаваях сигареты называются лей-лана-лукус.
64
00:04:56,708 --> 00:05:01,236
-Чендлер, да ты весь провонял сигаретами!
-Думаешь Моника почувствует?
65
00:05:01,446 --> 00:05:04,938
Ты шутишь? У этой женщины нюх как у ищейки!
66
00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:08,551
А грудь как у греческой богини.
67
00:05:11,957 --> 00:05:14,084
Фиби?
68
00:05:14,759 --> 00:05:16,886
Мне нужно идти.
69
00:05:20,565 --> 00:05:24,057
Так. Чем бы отбить запах...
70
00:05:27,272 --> 00:05:29,604
Чистящее средство!
71
00:05:34,212 --> 00:05:36,680
Без запаха.
72
00:05:38,316 --> 00:05:39,806
С возвращением.
73
00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:43,815
Я соскучилась.
74
00:05:43,989 --> 00:05:48,551
-Хочешь присоединиться ко мне в спальне?
-Да нет, спасибо, мне и тут хорошо.
75
00:05:49,060 --> 00:05:53,429
Хорошо. Значит ты хочешь так поиграть?
76
00:05:53,765 --> 00:05:56,325
Ну, ты знаешь, я вообще-то только что с самолета...
77
00:05:56,568 --> 00:05:58,832
...не очень хорошо себя чувствую.Хотел бы принять
душ.
78
00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:02,801
-Иди сюда, тебе не нужен душ.
-Ладно, если честно...
79
00:06:02,974 --> 00:06:05,841
...я испачкал себя во время турбуленции.
80
00:06:09,714 --> 00:06:12,911
Чем это пахнет? Пахнет дымом!
81
00:06:13,084 --> 00:06:15,245
Ты курил?
82
00:06:15,420 --> 00:06:18,287
Да. Всего одну!
83
00:06:18,456 --> 00:06:19,923
Две.
84
00:06:20,091 --> 00:06:22,821
Две маленькие сигаретки. Ладно, пять!
85
00:06:24,529 --> 00:06:28,431
Пачку. Две пачки... Блок!
86
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,091
Три больших блока за два дня!
87
00:06:32,871 --> 00:06:35,863
Но это всё. Я принял решение, больше курить не
буду.
88
00:06:40,245 --> 00:06:41,678
Ну, а эти тебе.
89
00:06:44,049 --> 00:06:47,450
Хорошо. Мы тебя тут подождем. Пока.
90
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,255
Это мама звонила, она застряла в жуткой пробке.
91
00:06:51,456 --> 00:06:54,186
Это уже третий знак, что я не должна оставлять
Эмму.
92
00:06:54,392 --> 00:06:57,418
-А другие два?
-Ну, первый - я не хочу.
93
00:06:57,595 --> 00:07:01,053
А второй - я не пойду.
94
00:07:01,299 --> 00:07:03,824
Я понимаю, это первый раз когда мы оставляем ребенка.
95
00:07:04,002 --> 00:07:06,027
Я знаю как тебе тяжело. Но...
96
00:07:06,204 --> 00:07:09,332
Но всё будет нормально. В смысле, с ней будет
моя мама.
97
00:07:09,507 --> 00:07:11,668
-Она хорошо относится к детям.
-Правда?
98
00:07:11,843 --> 00:07:13,970
Ну да.
99
00:07:14,279 --> 00:07:15,712
А как же Моника?
100
00:07:15,914 --> 00:07:20,010
Ты слышала только версию Моники об этом.
Эта маленькая толстушка была невыносима!
101
00:07:22,821 --> 00:07:27,383
- Мне кажется, я не смогу.
- Знаешь что? Сможешь, и тебе стоит это сделать.
102
00:07:27,592 --> 00:07:29,560
Правда, тебе это пойдет на пользу.
103
00:07:29,728 --> 00:07:31,195
Знаешь что?
104
00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:34,025
Иди в ресторан,
а я подожду мою мама,
105
00:07:34,199 --> 00:07:37,896
и мы с тобой встретимся уже на месте.
Нет, правда, иди. Уходи.
106
00:07:38,069 --> 00:07:44,599
На самом деле, для тебя возможно все.
Расслабься, танцуй. Балдей!
107
00:07:45,443 --> 00:07:49,846
- Тебе нужно выучить новый сленг.
- Я серьезно! Давай, ты должна пойти.
108
00:07:50,048 --> 00:07:52,881
Вот. Нет, просто иди.
109
00:07:53,051 --> 00:07:55,019
- Ну...
- Нет, нет. Знаешь, что?
110
00:07:55,186 --> 00:07:59,179
Ты туда не вернешься.
Ребенок в порядке. А теперь вали.
111
00:08:00,358 --> 00:08:02,121
Да, выберись в свет.
112
00:08:03,862 --> 00:08:06,126
Расскажешь по дороге.
113
00:08:07,632 --> 00:08:10,328
Я просто хотела сказать,
что забыла ключи.
114
00:08:13,938 --> 00:08:17,203
Ух, похоже мы в ловушке.
115
00:08:20,745 --> 00:08:24,078
Где все? Они уже на 40 минут опаздывают.
116
00:08:24,315 --> 00:08:26,249
- Я знаю.
- Есть хочу.
117
00:08:26,451 --> 00:08:29,113
Я знала, что мы сегодня сюда
пойдем и весь день ничего не ела.
118
00:08:29,354 --> 00:08:31,447
А я? У меня сегодня
был только один ланч.
119
00:08:33,258 --> 00:08:36,125
Так, нам ожидать остальных
гостей вечеринки в скором времени?
120
00:08:36,361 --> 00:08:38,693
Да, мы ждем в в ближайшее время.
Да.
121
00:08:38,863 --> 00:08:42,458
Их прибытие ожидается
в кротчайшие сроки.
122
00:08:42,901 --> 00:08:44,926
Хорошо. У нас есть свободный столик на двоих.
123
00:08:45,103 --> 00:08:46,764
Возможно, вы бы...
- Нет, они придут.
124
00:08:46,938 --> 00:08:48,428
Мы будем ждать здесь.
125
00:08:49,374 --> 00:08:51,365
Джозеф!
126
00:08:52,944 --> 00:08:56,072
Не стоит беспокоиться.
Они не задержатся надолго.
127
00:08:56,414 --> 00:08:59,850
Несколько больших компаний тоже ждут.
128
00:09:00,051 --> 00:09:02,952
Оу, кто-то тут хочет подзаработать, а?
129
00:09:06,558 --> 00:09:09,857
Зачем ты опять начал курить?
Это ведь так вредно.
130
00:09:10,028 --> 00:09:13,759
Всего лишь два дня как.
Этого недостаточно, чтобы...
131
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:17,731
Эти вещи вообще никак не связаны.
132
00:09:18,837 --> 00:09:21,965
Как ты можешь курить в наше время?
Ты что, рекламу ту не видел?
133
00:09:22,207 --> 00:09:25,973
Про маленького мальчика и дедушку?
Это правда отбивает охоту.
134
00:09:26,144 --> 00:09:28,977
Я разволновался.. У меня было собрание.
Все закурили.
135
00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:31,307
Ну и что с того? У тебя нет силы воли?
136
00:09:31,516 --> 00:09:34,417
Сила воли? Да я смотрел те хоум-видео, где ты
объедаешься печеньем...
137
00:09:34,586 --> 00:09:36,417
...завернутым в фольгу.
138
00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:41,090
Ты сказал, что это возбуждает.
139
00:09:42,927 --> 00:09:46,522
Слушай, давай просто перестанем?
Я не начну снова курить.
140
00:09:46,698 --> 00:09:49,223
Вот именно, потому что
я запрещаю тебе курить.
141
00:09:49,434 --> 00:09:51,425
Ты мне запрещаешь?
142
00:09:51,669 --> 00:09:53,899
Я проделал длинный путь,
чтобы увидеть свою любящую жену.
143
00:09:54,072 --> 00:09:56,006
Она вообще здесь, не пойму?
144
00:09:56,207 --> 00:10:02,168
Чендлер, не шути со мной.
Я сейчас очень, очень расстроена.
145
00:10:02,380 --> 00:10:05,372
-Так сильно?
-Думаю, да.
146
00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:07,676
Ну, вообще-то я могу...
147
00:10:07,886 --> 00:10:09,945
...это сделать.
148
00:10:20,031 --> 00:10:22,761
Не очень уверен, что делать теперь.
149
00:10:24,068 --> 00:10:26,559
Я скажу тебе, что нам нужно сделать.
150
00:10:26,738 --> 00:10:29,298
Мы уже опаздываем
на вечеринку к Фиби.
151
00:10:29,474 --> 00:10:31,465
Поэтому сейчас ты
выбросишь эту сигарету...
152
00:10:31,643 --> 00:10:34,407
...мы повременим с нашей ссорой
и займемся любовью.
153
00:10:34,612 --> 00:10:36,603
Хорошо. Что?
154
00:10:37,649 --> 00:10:40,243
У тебя что, сигареты и за ушами?
155
00:10:40,985 --> 00:10:43,818
Сегодня последний день моей овуляции.
Если мы этого не сделаем...
156
00:10:43,988 --> 00:10:46,149
...мы должны будем ждать
до следующего месяца.
157
00:10:46,824 --> 00:10:48,815
Ты это серьезно?
158
00:10:48,993 --> 00:10:52,485
-Ага.
-Ну хорошо, отлично, я сделаю это,
но без разговоров.
159
00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:55,665
-И объятий.
-И поцелуев в шею.
160
00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:59,325
Прекрасно, я ненавижу, когда ты делаешь это,
161
00:11:01,072 --> 00:11:04,269
целуешь в шею.
162
00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:06,905
Окей, никого нет дома.
163
00:11:07,078 --> 00:11:09,672
Но моя мать скоро будет здесь,
и у нее есть ключи.
164
00:11:09,847 --> 00:11:13,112
Я не могу ждать. Сделай что-нибудь.
Сломай эту дверь.
165
00:11:13,284 --> 00:11:15,479
Я бы сломал, но у меня потом будет
синяк размером с персик.
166
00:11:17,889 --> 00:11:21,791
Кроме того, знаешь,
все будет хорошо. Ребенок спит.
167
00:11:22,026 --> 00:11:26,224
-А что, если он выпрыгнет из люльки?
-Но с высоко поднятой головой.
168
00:11:27,298 --> 00:11:29,232
О, Боже.
Я не выключила воду.
169
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:33,268
Ты выключила воду.
Просто соберись, хорошо?
170
00:11:33,504 --> 00:11:37,770
-Ну а плиту я выключила?
-Да ты не готовишь с 1996.
171
00:11:38,276 --> 00:11:41,734
А окно открыто? Птица может
залететь туда и...
172
00:11:41,913 --> 00:11:43,938
Боже мой, знаешь что?
Я думаю, ты права.
173
00:11:44,115 --> 00:11:45,412
-Слушай.
-Что? Что такое?
174
00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:50,020
-Голубь. Нет-нет,
орел залетит туда,
175
00:11:51,155 --> 00:11:54,090
сядет на плиту и устроит пожар.
176
00:11:56,294 --> 00:12:02,233
Ребенок, видя это, побежит
на помощь могучей птице.
177
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,335
Но орел примет
это за агрессию...
178
00:12:05,536 --> 00:12:07,231
...и схватит ребенка.
179
00:12:07,405 --> 00:12:10,636
А в это время квартира
наполнится водой.
180
00:12:10,808 --> 00:12:14,300
Ребенок и орел, все еще в огне,
заперты в смертельной ловушке...
181
00:12:14,479 --> 00:12:19,314
...циркулирующей вокруг джакузи,
топящего квартиру.
182
00:12:20,852 --> 00:12:23,184
Господи, ты извинишься,
если все это правда.
183
00:12:27,825 --> 00:12:29,554
-Здравствуйте.
-Привет.
184
00:12:29,761 --> 00:12:31,661
Прошел уже час.
185
00:12:31,829 --> 00:12:35,822
Метрдотель спрашивает, не хотели бы вы
пересесть за стол поменьше.
186
00:12:36,134 --> 00:12:37,624
Может, нам просто заказать еду.
187
00:12:37,802 --> 00:12:41,431
Вы не можете заказывать, пока
все гости не будут здесь. Ресторанный устав.
188
00:12:41,639 --> 00:12:44,540
А как насчет этого?
Вон, другой стол свободен...
189
00:12:44,709 --> 00:12:47,769
...но там все еще
стоит еда.
190
00:12:47,945 --> 00:12:51,381
Что говорит устав о том,
чтобы съесть ее?
191
00:12:51,616 --> 00:12:54,517
-Это не приветствуется.
-Но случается.
192
00:12:58,056 --> 00:13:00,581
-Ладно, мне нужно выйти.
-Ты не можешь.
193
00:13:00,758 --> 00:13:02,953
Нет, нет и нет.
Я не могу удерживать этот стол.
194
00:13:03,127 --> 00:13:05,152
Если они попросят меня пересесть, я подчинюсь.
195
00:13:05,363 --> 00:13:07,331
Если ты попросишь меня остаться, я описаюсь.
196
00:13:13,471 --> 00:13:15,962
Добрый вечер, мисс.
197
00:13:16,841 --> 00:13:18,866
Мисс?
198
00:13:20,878 --> 00:13:23,244
Мисс? Мисс?
199
00:13:23,414 --> 00:13:28,010
Прекрасно, я пересаживаюсь. Отлично.
Можете не бить.
200
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:32,512
-Куда?
-Окей.
201
00:13:33,024 --> 00:13:36,289
Спасибо.
202
00:13:36,461 --> 00:13:38,361
Теперь вы перестанете на нас таращиться?
203
00:13:38,529 --> 00:13:42,898
Заивисит от того, перестанет ли ваш друг
пить оливковое масло из бутылки.
204
00:13:43,568 --> 00:13:45,229
Вероятно, нет.
205
00:13:52,243 --> 00:13:55,076
Ну наконец-то вы пришли.
206
00:14:02,086 --> 00:14:03,417
Фибс, кто эти?..
207
00:14:14,932 --> 00:14:18,333
Чего ты так долго?
Давай уже покончим с этим.
208
00:14:18,903 --> 00:14:20,871
Минутку, пироженки.
209
00:14:21,506 --> 00:14:24,942
Тереби галстук больше.
Может, ребенок появится.
210
00:14:25,743 --> 00:14:30,043
Послушай, я так не могу. Не могу заниматься
любовью с тобой, пока ты такая.
211
00:14:30,248 --> 00:14:32,546
О, конечно. Ты же Мистер Чувствительность.
212
00:14:32,717 --> 00:14:35,379
Но когда ты хотел заняться сексом
после похорон моего дяди...
213
00:14:35,586 --> 00:14:37,679
Это был праздник жизни.
214
00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:40,987
Так, ладно, я согласен.
215
00:14:41,192 --> 00:14:43,683
Ты хочешь, чтобы наш ребенок
был зачат именно так?
216
00:14:45,096 --> 00:14:47,587
Нет, ты прав.
217
00:14:48,065 --> 00:14:50,033
Мы не должны делать это так.
218
00:14:53,204 --> 00:14:55,900
Чего бы это ни стоило, извини меня.
219
00:14:56,073 --> 00:14:59,372
Я не должна была так наседать
на тебя из-за курения.
220
00:14:59,677 --> 00:15:03,545
Ну выкурил ты несколько сигарет.
Это не конец света.
221
00:15:03,748 --> 00:15:06,342
- Ты серьезно?
- Да.
222
00:15:06,751 --> 00:15:08,844
Ты потрясающая.
223
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:11,545
Слушай, я больше не буду курить.
224
00:15:11,722 --> 00:15:14,782
А если и буду, то обещаю получше это скрывать.
225
00:15:26,771 --> 00:15:28,238
-Ты еще хочешь?
-Давай отпразднуем нашу жизнь.
226
00:15:28,406 --> 00:15:30,533
Хорошо.
227
00:15:32,109 --> 00:15:34,236
О, Господи.
228
00:15:34,412 --> 00:15:36,312
Хорошо, что ты в порядке.
229
00:15:36,514 --> 00:15:38,982
Прости, что мы ушли.
Мамочка никогда больше не уйдет.
230
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:42,176
Никогда, никогда больше.
231
00:15:42,553 --> 00:15:44,214
Отлично. Пойдем.
232
00:15:45,756 --> 00:15:49,055
Серьезно. После того, что произошло,
я никогда не покину ее.
233
00:15:49,260 --> 00:15:52,024
Понимаю. Быть по отдельности - трудно.
234
00:15:52,196 --> 00:15:56,189
Однажды я чуть не оставила Росса,
чтобы пойти в косметический кабинет.
235
00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:59,097
И он так расстроился, что
снял с себя всю одежду...
236
00:15:59,270 --> 00:16:02,535
...зажал свои причиндалы между ног...
237
00:16:02,707 --> 00:16:07,542
...и заплакал: "Мама, я девочка.
Возьми меня с собой."
238
00:16:15,186 --> 00:16:19,452
Но со временем стало легче
быть вдали от вас.
239
00:16:24,595 --> 00:16:27,564
Не за что.
240
00:16:28,766 --> 00:16:31,963
-Знаешь, что? Давай помолчим.
-Чего?
241
00:16:32,203 --> 00:16:35,639
-Я все еще злюсь на тебя.
-Но ты сказала, что простила.
242
00:16:35,806 --> 00:16:38,775
Просто несколько сигарет,
не так важно.
243
00:16:40,745 --> 00:16:45,273
У меня была овуляция, а ты сказал, что
не будем заниматься сексом, если поссоримся.
244
00:16:46,183 --> 00:16:51,883
-Ты обманом затащила меня в постель?
-Так точно... И получила свое.
245
00:16:54,392 --> 00:16:57,225
Чувствую себя использованным.
246
00:16:58,563 --> 00:17:01,964
Похоже, они не придут.
Хотите просто что-нибудь заказать?
247
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,691
Спасибо.
248
00:17:08,072 --> 00:17:11,439
Официант? Это будет быстро,
так что не отставай.
249
00:17:11,642 --> 00:17:13,906
Ризотто с трюфелями
и ребрышки...
250
00:17:14,078 --> 00:17:16,774
...с лисичками
и под соусом Борделез...
251
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:20,111
...если хотя бы что-то из этого
означает "улитки".
252
00:17:20,451 --> 00:17:22,351
Нет, не означает.
253
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,978
Томатный пирог, а какую из паст
вы бы порекомендовали?
254
00:17:26,157 --> 00:17:28,955
-Ну, они обе изысканны...
-Тогда обеих будет достаточно. Спасибо.
255
00:17:29,126 --> 00:17:33,688
Можешь идти, детка.
Время жратвы. Неси, стерва.
256
00:17:37,268 --> 00:17:40,635
-Простите за это.
-Да ладно.
257
00:17:40,838 --> 00:17:42,863
-Могу я еще попросить?
258
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,905
Принесете все, как только
будет готово?
259
00:17:45,076 --> 00:17:47,510
-Закуски, первые блюда, не важно что.
-Эй.
260
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:52,547
-Я хотел бы заказать...
-Да что я тебе сделала?
261
00:17:52,717 --> 00:17:54,810
Ничего, стерва.
262
00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:00,990
Ребята, вы опоздали больше, чем на час.
263
00:18:01,158 --> 00:18:03,319
-Что с вами двоими случилось?
-Нам так жаль.
264
00:18:03,494 --> 00:18:06,895
-Нас заперли в квартире.
-Это отличная история. Могу я поесть?
265
00:18:07,932 --> 00:18:10,833
И потом Рэйчел не хотела
оставлять ребенка.
266
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:14,460
Это было не просто, но сегодня твой
день рождения, я сделала то, что должна.
267
00:18:14,739 --> 00:18:17,139
-Это не Джуди с Эммой?
268
00:18:20,978 --> 00:18:24,004
Так лучше. Не хочу
отвлекаться на Эмму...
269
00:18:24,181 --> 00:18:27,810
...я хочу быть с тобой
здесь и сейчас.
270
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:29,816
-Ой, она срыгивает.
-Что?
271
00:18:29,987 --> 00:18:32,683
Джуди? Она...
Да быстрее, Джуди.
272
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,518
-Спасибо тебе.
-Спасибо.
273
00:18:40,498 --> 00:18:43,365
Ох, все так аппетитно.
274
00:18:43,534 --> 00:18:47,334
Что бы мне взять?
Что бы мне взять?
275
00:18:47,505 --> 00:18:51,407
Женщин не бить.
Женщин не бить.
276
00:18:51,909 --> 00:18:53,934
Знаю, что ты имеешь в виду,
это меню великолепно.
277
00:18:54,145 --> 00:18:57,046
У Росса синяк-персик,
Его синяк, как персик.
278
00:18:58,182 --> 00:19:00,446
Так, мне рисовый салат и утку.
279
00:19:00,651 --> 00:19:02,448
Мне суп и лосось.
280
00:19:02,653 --> 00:19:04,621
Помните, что будет первым, да?
281
00:19:04,789 --> 00:19:06,188
-Поторопитесь...
-С днем рождения.
282
00:19:06,357 --> 00:19:07,585
Сукин сын.
283
00:19:08,826 --> 00:19:11,920
-Где вы были?
-Да, поссорились немного.
284
00:19:12,096 --> 00:19:14,087
Я бы никогда не соглал,
чтобы затащить кого-то в постель.
285
00:19:14,265 --> 00:19:17,860
Ты говорил девушкам,
что ты Кеннеди.
286
00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:21,870
Спасибо.
287
00:19:23,374 --> 00:19:26,138
Спасибо. Ого.
288
00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:29,177
Сложновато, да?
Почему ты не взяла стол побольше?
289
00:19:31,515 --> 00:19:34,575
У тебя был большой стол,
но они заставили тебя пересесть.
290
00:19:34,752 --> 00:19:36,219
Заткнись, Моника.
291
00:19:38,422 --> 00:19:42,381
Спорим, Чендлер закажет
цыпленка табака.
292
00:19:43,728 --> 00:19:48,893
А спорим, Моника закажет
властвующую землеройку.
293
00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:51,930
Как я это пропустил?
294
00:19:52,937 --> 00:19:55,428
-Я дам вам еще минуту.
-Куда вы?
295
00:19:55,639 --> 00:19:58,267
Он сказал, она хочет землеройку.
296
00:19:59,443 --> 00:20:01,240
Рэйч, ну же, Эмма в порядке.
297
00:20:01,445 --> 00:20:05,609
Ты становишься навязчивой
мамашей. Остановись.
298
00:20:06,217 --> 00:20:11,018
А вы слышали иторию про
Росса и салон красоты?
299
00:20:12,289 --> 00:20:17,226
-История с причиндалами?
-Они уже в курсе.
300
00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:23,092
Мы слишком долго вас ждали.
301
00:20:23,267 --> 00:20:24,757
-Вам нужно сделать заказ.
-А, хорошо.
302
00:20:24,935 --> 00:20:27,802
-Я сказала официанту за них.
-Но зачем?
303
00:20:28,038 --> 00:20:30,336
Чендлер, следи за своей женщиной!
304
00:20:31,175 --> 00:20:33,735
Ну хорошо. Все заказали.
305
00:20:33,911 --> 00:20:40,578
Я бы хотела начать празднование
и сказать тост.. за Фиби.
306
00:20:40,751 --> 00:20:44,118
Она уронила носок.
- Что?
307
00:20:44,755 --> 00:20:46,882
Нет. Нет, Эмма уронила носок.
308
00:20:47,057 --> 00:20:48,547
-С чего ты взяла?
-Она здесь.
309
00:20:48,726 --> 00:20:51,092
-С мамой.
-Мама здесь?
310
00:20:51,495 --> 00:20:55,727
Я хотела с ней сегодня пообедать.
Она сказала, что ее нет в городе.
311
00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:58,926
Она до сих пор не заметила,
что ее носочек на полу.
312
00:20:59,136 --> 00:21:01,434
Хороший тост.
313
00:21:01,639 --> 00:21:04,267
Слушай, ты можешь привлечь ее снимание?
314
00:21:05,109 --> 00:21:07,407
Мамуля?
315
00:21:11,715 --> 00:21:13,580
Мам.
316
00:21:21,392 --> 00:21:23,451
Господи ты Боже, Джуди, подними носок!
317
00:21:23,661 --> 00:21:26,721
Подними носок!
Подними носок!
318
00:21:31,168 --> 00:21:33,159
Извини, это не грубо?
319
00:21:34,471 --> 00:21:37,269
Разве мой маленький выпад...
320
00:21:37,474 --> 00:21:41,638
...заслонил безобразие
всего этого вечера?
321
00:21:41,879 --> 00:21:43,744
Слушайте, я знаю, вы заняты...
322
00:21:43,914 --> 00:21:49,819
...но все, чего мне хотелось, так это
поужинать с друзьями в день своего рождения.
323
00:21:49,987 --> 00:21:55,516
Но вы все опоздали, даже
не позвонили из вежливости.
324
00:21:56,594 --> 00:21:59,893
Теперь уже поздно.
325
00:22:00,264 --> 00:22:01,788
Фибс, не думаю, что это кто-то из нас.
326
00:22:03,434 --> 00:22:07,461
О, ну...Извините?
327
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:13,638
Чувствую себя ужасно. Нам все же
надо было оставить Эмму дома.
328
00:22:13,811 --> 00:22:15,142
"Нам?"
329
00:22:15,312 --> 00:22:18,110
Но есть истории, которых они не знают.
330
00:22:18,282 --> 00:22:20,750
Нам надо было быть мужественнее.
331
00:22:21,185 --> 00:22:24,985
-Что с вами двоими такое?
-Ну, знаешь, у меня овуляция.
332
00:22:25,155 --> 00:22:27,783
О, да, опять она это говорит.
333
00:22:29,126 --> 00:22:33,586
Может, у тебя не овуляция.
Может, это умная уловка.
334
00:22:34,265 --> 00:22:38,429
Да, Дымочек, так и есть.
Этого просто не достаточно.
335
00:22:39,103 --> 00:22:40,798
Ты не поверишь.
336
00:22:40,971 --> 00:22:43,303
Она обманула меня, чтобы
заняться со мной сексом.
337
00:22:46,810 --> 00:22:50,007
Ну и? Вы же занялись?
338
00:22:50,481 --> 00:22:54,008
Да что со мной не так?
Почему я как девчонка?
339
00:22:55,286 --> 00:22:58,619
-Ладно. Это был Майк.
-Фиби, милая, нам так жаль.
340
00:22:58,789 --> 00:23:01,986
Да, именно.
Мы на 100 процентов здесь...
341
00:23:02,159 --> 00:23:05,526
...и любим тебя, и готовы праздновать.
342
00:23:05,729 --> 00:23:08,892
Это значит так много для меня, ребята.
343
00:23:12,036 --> 00:23:13,503
Ну все. Я пойду.
344
00:23:15,506 --> 00:23:16,734
Что?
345
00:23:16,974 --> 00:23:19,340
Я тоже люблю вас, ребят, но
Майку завтра рано на работу.
346
00:23:19,510 --> 00:23:21,341
Подождите.
347
00:23:22,479 --> 00:23:26,040
Я не... не та, кто бросает
своих друзей...
348
00:23:26,216 --> 00:23:28,480
...ради парня.
349
00:23:28,686 --> 00:23:29,983
Нет, вообще-то я такая.
350
00:23:30,888 --> 00:23:33,379
Пока, ребята.
Пока, Джуди.
351
00:23:35,759 --> 00:23:37,556
Раз Фиби ушла, может, отвезем Эмму домой?
352
00:23:37,728 --> 00:23:41,824
Хорошая идея. Наша няня только что
открыла еще одну бутылку "Шардоне".
353
00:23:41,999 --> 00:23:43,227
-Пока, ребят.
-Пока.
354
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,666
Увидимся. Ну, остались только мы.
355
00:23:50,841 --> 00:23:55,244
По-моему, у меня все еще овуляция.
Хочешь снова попробовать?
356
00:23:56,146 --> 00:23:57,773
Ну ладно.
357
00:23:57,948 --> 00:24:01,145
Ты ведь никогда не спала
с Кеннеди, правда?
358
00:24:02,586 --> 00:24:05,851
Вообще-то Ричард был Кеннеди
по материнской линии.
359
00:24:06,023 --> 00:24:08,787
Почему ты с ним рассталась?
360
00:24:09,059 --> 00:24:11,289
-Так ты идешь?
-Времени не так много.
361
00:24:11,462 --> 00:24:13,623
Как только яйцо проходит
в маточную трубу...
362
00:24:13,797 --> 00:24:15,628
Ой, убирайся отсюда.
363
00:24:19,970 --> 00:24:23,337
Искренне надеюсь, что остальная
часть компании вернется.
364
00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:25,872
Нет, только я. Один.
365
00:24:30,381 --> 00:24:33,350
Ужин для шестерых на одного.
366
00:24:33,884 --> 00:24:37,342
Ну, ребятки, мы сейчас увидите
нечто особенное.
367
00:24:50,434 --> 00:24:51,958
-Как все прошло?
-Превосходно.
368
00:24:52,136 --> 00:24:55,572
Землеройка оказалась очень изысканной.
369
00:24:56,707 --> 00:24:58,334
Надеюсь, у вас осталась свободная комната.
370
00:25:06,917 --> 00:25:08,145
Джои.
371
00:25:13,223 --> 00:25:15,919
Лучшая вечеринка в жизни.
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