1
00:00:03,903 --> 00:00:05,234
Man, this is weird.
2
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:08,099
Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's
eyebrows are on his hat?
3
00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:09,430
That's what's weird?
4
00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:12,609
The man's been captain
of a cereal for 40 years.
5
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:17,881
What?
6
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,745
The spoon!
You licked and you put.
7
00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:25,189
You licked and you put.
8
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:26,421
Yeah, so?
9
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:31,388
Don't you see how gross that is?
It's like you using my toothbrush!
10
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,629
You used my toothbrush?
11
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:39,134
Only because I used the red one
to unclog the drain.
12
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:41,468
Mine is the red one!
13
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:47,469
Oh, God!
Can open. Worms everywhere!
14
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,780
Why can't we use the same toothbrush...
15
00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:52,949
...but we can use the same soap?
16
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:56,984
Because soap is soap.
It's self-cleaning.
17
00:00:57,991 --> 00:00:59,618
The next time you shower...
18
00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:03,761
...think about the last thing I wash
and the first thing you wash.
19
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:10,868
The One Where Joey Moves Out
20
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,543
Look at you fancy lads!
21
00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,173
What's the occasion?
22
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,080
You know that guy on my show
that's in a coma?
23
00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:05,051
He's having a brunch.
24
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,725
Ready when you are.
25
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,530
I can't believe you're
actually getting tattoos.
26
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,823
You guys are getting tattoos?
27
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:17,400
But you cannot tell Ross
because I wanna surprise him.
28
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:20,468
Wow, this is wild!
What are you gonna get?
29
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:22,968
I'm getting a lily.
30
00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:26,537
For my mom, because her name's Lily.
31
00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:30,910
That's lucky. What if
her name was Big Ugly Splotch?
32
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,749
- Where you getting it?
- On my shoulder.
33
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:35,784
What?
34
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:38,186
What's on your shoulder?
35
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:39,623
A chip.
36
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,027
I've got a big attitude problem.
37
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,999
- A tattoo. I'm getting a tattoo.
- A tattoo?
38
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:51,532
Why? Why would you wanna do that?
39
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:55,264
You don't think
they're kind of cool?
40
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,440
No. Sorry, I don't.
41
00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,942
Why would anyone pay someone
to scar their body for life?
42
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,206
What if it doesn't come out right?
43
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:06,475
It's like having
a bad haircut all the time.
44
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:10,449
Why is everyone staring at me?
45
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:13,425
Sign this card for Dad.
Richard will be here soon.
46
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,491
Richard's going to the party too?
47
00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:18,026
He's my parents' best friend.
He has to go.
48
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:21,630
So is today the day
you'll tell them about you two?
49
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:25,895
Yeah, for my dad's birthday,
I decided to give him a stroke.
50
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,068
No, I think you should tell them.
51
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,708
I don't know how serious he is.
Until I do, I won't say anything.
52
00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:35,310
I don't think
Mom and Dad would mind.
53
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:38,483
Remember when you were 9
and Richard was 30, Dad said...
54
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,515
..."God, I hope they get together."
55
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:26,829
Shall we?
56
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,624
Okay, wait.
57
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:30,533
You know what?
58
00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:33,838
Ross, let's switch places.
You get in the middle.
59
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,539
This looks like we're trying
to cover something up.
60
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:41,406
You could come in straddling him,
they still wouldn't believe it.
61
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,042
We're here!
62
00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:48,009
- Hi, kids!
- The children!
63
00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:51,114
- Happy birthday, Dad.
- Thank you.
64
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:52,588
Happy birthday!
65
00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:55,326
So you kids thanked
Dr. Burke for the ride?
66
00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:59,497
Actually, Mom, I think Monica
thanked him for the both of us.
67
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,235
So you kids take the train in?
68
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,937
No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
69
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:07,466
Speaking of whom...
70
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:11,642
...I hear he's got some
20-year-old twinkie in the city.
71
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,472
Finger cramp! Oh, God!
72
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:20,014
Sorry. Here, let me get that, Mom.
73
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,183
So Richard's shopping
in the junior section?
74
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,458
Are we still on that?
75
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,161
You just know she's got
the IQ of a napkin.
76
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,263
She's probably not even pretty.
77
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:37,263
Just young enough so that
everything is still pointing up.
78
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:46,634
Can you believe this place?
79
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,810
I know. This is a great apartment.
80
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:51,879
In the bathroom there's mirrors
on both sides of you.
81
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,450
When you're in there, it's like
peeing with the Rockettes.
82
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,320
Well, there's my fantasy come true.
83
00:05:59,125 --> 00:05:59,921
Seriously.
84
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,296
We were just saying, great apartment!
85
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,495
Thanks. You want it?
86
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,266
I'm moving to a bigger place.
87
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,195
You should take this one.
88
00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:12,632
Can you see me in a place like this?
89
00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:16,265
Why not? You hate park views
and high ceilings?
90
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:18,510
Come on, I'll show you the kitchen.
91
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,780
That's all right,
I saw a kitchen this morning.
92
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:23,947
On TV.
93
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,649
Stop talking. Okay!
94
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,378
- Come on, tell us!
- Is she really 20?
95
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:32,487
I am not telling you guys anything.
96
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,522
Come on, it's my birthday.
Let me live vicariously!
97
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,388
Dad, you really don't want to do that.
98
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:41,292
What's a little midlife crisis
between friends?
99
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,034
Would you let it go?
100
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:46,703
I know what you're going through.
When I turned 50, I got the Porsche.
101
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:49,203
You got your own little speedster.
102
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:52,875
- Seriously, it's not like that.
- Tell you what.
103
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:57,047
Maybe one of these weekends
you can borrow the car and I could
104
00:06:57,383 --> 00:06:59,681
Dad, I beg you not
to finish that sentence!
105
00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:01,713
What? I'm kidding!
106
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:04,852
You know I'd never let him
touch the Porsche.
107
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:13,795
Okay, Rach.
108
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,201
Which lily?
This lily or that lily?
109
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:20,100
- Well, I
- I like this lily.
110
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:22,772
It's more open
and that's like my mom.
111
00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:25,509
She had a more open, giving spirit.
112
00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,979
Foghorn Leghorn!
113
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,909
Blonde girl?
You're in room two.
114
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,619
Not-so-blonde girl, you're with me.
115
00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:36,577
Here we go!
116
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,122
You're not going.
117
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:42,561
Is this because of what Ross said?
118
00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:47,966
- Well, yeah, maybe.
- I don't believe this.
119
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:52,101
Is this how this relationship works?
Ross equals boss?
120
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,467
Come on, what is this, 1922?
121
00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:57,439
What's 1922?
122
00:07:58,277 --> 00:08:00,211
Just, you know, a long time ago.
123
00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:05,208
When men used to tell women
what to do a lot.
124
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:09,043
Then there was suffrage, which was
a good thing. But it sounds horrible.
125
00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:13,923
Do you want this tattoo?
126
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:16,127
Yes, I do.
It's just that Ross
127
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,161
Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
128
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,992
Who is the boss of you?
129
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:26,663
You?
130
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,309
You are the boss of you!
131
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:33,511
You march in there and
get that tattoo on your hip!
132
00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:35,511
Go!
133
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,453
We don't get my tatoo yet,
you know it's a little tough.
134
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:48,753
How you doing?
135
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,620
I'm a twinkie!
136
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:53,961
Really? I'm a hero.
137
00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:58,361
This is so hard.
138
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:01,673
Yeah, I know. I hate it too.
139
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:04,601
Look, maybe we should just tell them.
140
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,538
Maybe we should just tell
your parents first.
141
00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:09,841
My parents are dead.
142
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:13,112
God, you are so lucky!
143
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:16,921
I mean
Well, you know what I mean.
144
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,824
Just hang in there, okay?
145
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,120
Okay, I'll go out first, all right?
146
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:31,865
Judy! Going to the bathroom.
Good for you!
147
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:38,838
Thank you, Richard.
I appreciate the support.
148
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:44,016
Honey.
149
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:47,785
Seen my Harmon Kille brew bat?
Bob doesn't believe I have one.
150
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,519
I have no idea.
151
00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:52,486
Did you know Richard
has a twinkie in the city?
152
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:57,793
I know. He's a new man.
It's like a scene from Cocoon.
153
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,892
I just never would have
pictured Richard with a bimbo.
154
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:05,032
He told Johnny Shapiro
that she's quite a girl.
155
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:08,831
He told Johnny that he thinks
he's falling in love with her.
156
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,542
- Really?
- I've never seen him this happy.
157
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,209
So, Jack...
158
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:16,340
...ever think about trading me in
for a younger model?
159
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,583
Of course not.
160
00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:21,409
With you, it's like
I've got two 25-year-olds.
161
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,584
Oh, Jack, stop!
162
00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:29,656
Come on!
163
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:32,863
It's my birthday!
164
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,262
Can we drop this?
165
00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:40,698
I am not interested
in the guy's apartment.
166
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,101
Oh, please. I saw the way
you were checking out his moldings.
167
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,308
You want it.
168
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,637
Why would I want another apartment?
169
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,040
I've already got
an apartment that I love.
170
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:53,409
It wouldn't kill you
to say it once in a while.
171
00:10:57,289 --> 00:11:01,123
All right. You want the truth?
I'm thinking about it.
172
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:03,851
- What?
- I'm sorry.
173
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:06,960
I'm 28. I've never lived alone...
174
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:10,167
...and I'm at a place
where I got enough money...
175
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:11,936
...that I don't need a roommate.
176
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,397
I don't need a roommate either.
177
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,143
I can afford to live here by myself.
178
00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:22,004
I may have to bring in somebody
once a week to lick the silverware.
179
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,308
Why are you getting
so bent out of shape?
180
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,813
We didn't agree to live
together forever.
181
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:29,711
We're not Bert and Ernie.
182
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:34,817
I am awared that we
are not gay parpens.
183
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:37,920
You know what?
184
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,927
If this is the way you feel...
185
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,030
...then maybe you should take it.
186
00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:45,129
- That's how I feel.
- Then maybe you should take it!
187
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,167
Maybe I will!
188
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:47,836
- Fine with me!
- Great!
189
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,802
You can spend more quality time
with your real friends...
190
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,670
...the spoons!
191
00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,805
Whose drink can I freshen?
192
00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,347
Almost time for cake!
193
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,653
Mon, are you okay?
194
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:15,398
You remember that video
I found of Mom and Dad?
195
00:12:16,435 --> 00:12:18,733
Well, I just caught the live show.
196
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,736
- Hey, there.
- What?
197
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,348
Nothing. I just heard
something nice about you.
198
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,452
Really?
199
00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:40,056
- Your son isn't seeing anyone, is he?
- Not that I know of.
200
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:43,760
I was thinking, why doesn't
he give Monica a call?
201
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:49,263
That's an idea.
202
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:52,594
Well, actually,
I'm already seeing someone.
203
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:54,032
Oh?
204
00:12:58,177 --> 00:12:59,940
She never tells us anything.
205
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,646
Ross, did you know
Monica's seeing someone?
206
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:06,145
Mom, there are
so many people in my life.
207
00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:09,346
Some are seeing people
and some aren't.
208
00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:11,315
Is that crystal?
209
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:15,856
So who's the mystery man?
210
00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:18,926
Well, he's a doctor.
211
00:13:19,231 --> 00:13:20,630
A real doctor?
212
00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:23,026
No, a doctor of meat.
213
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,803
Of course he's a real doctor.
214
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:27,629
And he's handsome.
215
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:31,303
And he's sweet,
and I know you'd like him.
216
00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:33,544
Well, that's wonderful.
217
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:41,610
Mom, it's okay.
218
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:42,819
It is, Judy.
219
00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:44,521
Jack!
220
00:13:46,458 --> 00:13:49,052
Could you come in here for a moment?
221
00:13:49,695 --> 00:13:50,559
Now!
222
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:54,055
- Found it!
- I'll take that, Dad.
223
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:02,399
It seems your daughter and Richard
are something of an item.
224
00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:06,241
That's impossible.
He's got a twinkie in the city.
225
00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:08,735
I'm the twinkie.
226
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,474
- You're the twinkie?
- She's not a twinkie!
227
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:14,713
Look, this is the best relationship
I've been in
228
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,648
Oh, please! A relationship?
229
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:19,356
Yes, a relationship!
230
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,753
For your information,
I'm crazy about this man.
231
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:22,993
Really?
232
00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:28,562
Am I supposed to stand here
and listen to this on my birthday?
233
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:33,962
This is a good thing. You said
you've never seen Richard happier.
234
00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:35,068
When did I say that?
235
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:38,970
Upstairs in the bathroom,
right before you felt up Mom!
236
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,309
Happy birthday to you
237
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:46,051
Happy birthday to you
238
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:50,618
Happy birthday, dear Jack
239
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:55,616
Happy birthday to you
240
00:14:56,996 --> 00:15:00,193
It looks so good!
Oh, I love it.
241
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,559
I know, so do I!
I'm so glad you made me do this.
242
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:05,666
Okay, let me see yours.
243
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,103
Let's see yours again.
244
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:14,604
We just saw mine.
Let me see yours.
245
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:18,813
Oh, no!
246
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:21,986
It's gone! That's so weird.
247
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:24,986
I don't know how, where it went.
248
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:28,457
You didn't get it?
249
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:31,325
Why not?
250
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:33,130
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
251
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,856
How could you do this to me?
This was your idea!
252
00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:39,660
I know! I was gonna get it,
but he came in with this needle.
253
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,601
And did you know
they do this with needles?
254
00:15:43,842 --> 00:15:45,469
Really? You don't say?
255
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,679
Because mine was licked on by kittens!
256
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,510
Serially, does it hurt a lot.
257
00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:55,620
No, it's just like a pinch like that.
258
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:03,620
That's really hurt me,
that's gonna leave a mark.
259
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,500
I'm sorry about what
260
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:11,167
- Yeah, me too.
- I know.
261
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:16,472
Do we need to hug?
262
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:19,877
No, we're all right.
263
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:23,003
So I got you something.
264
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:25,647
Plastic spoons!
265
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:30,955
- Great!
- Lick away, my man!
266
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:35,285
These will go great in my new place
till I get real ones.
267
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:37,125
What?
268
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:41,994
I can't use these forever.
They're no friend of the environment.
269
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:45,568
No, I mean what's this
about your new place?
270
00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:47,699
I'm moving out,
like we talked about.
271
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,905
I didn't think that was serious.
272
00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:54,735
You know, I thought
that was just a fight.
273
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:56,607
Well, it was a fight...
274
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:59,076
...based on serious stuff, remember?
275
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:01,478
About how I never
lived alone or anything?
276
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:04,689
I think it would be good for me.
Help me to grow...
277
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,316
...or whatever.
278
00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:12,189
Well, there you go.
279
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:16,230
Hey, are you cool with this?
280
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,129
I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
281
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:20,199
I've never been lower or wetter.
282
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,799
I'll be fine.
I'll just turn your...
283
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,600
...bedroom into a game room.
284
00:17:26,912 --> 00:17:29,107
Put the foosball table in there.
285
00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:33,042
Why do you get to keep the table?
286
00:17:35,754 --> 00:17:37,847
I did pay for half of it.
287
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:42,185
I paid for the other half.
288
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,128
I'll tell you what.
I'll play you for it.
289
00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:47,424
All right, you're on.
290
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,930
I can take two minutes
out of my day to kick your ass.
291
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:55,607
Your men will get scored on
more times than your sister.
292
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:04,706
Which sister?
293
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:10,451
So are you sorry that I told them?
294
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:14,785
No. It's been a long time
since your dad and I went running.
295
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,253
Did you get it?
296
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,330
- Is Ross here?
- He went out for pizza.
297
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:23,967
Okay, really quick.
298
00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:26,671
That's great!
299
00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:28,267
Very tasteful.
300
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,775
Wanna see mine? Wanna see mine?
301
00:18:31,376 --> 00:18:32,968
What? You didn't get one.
302
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:35,839
Okay. Well then, what is this?
303
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:39,775
What are we looking at?
304
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,483
That blue freckle?
305
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,417
That's my tattoo.
306
00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:48,249
That is not a tattoo.
That is a nothing.
307
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:50,024
I got her in the chair...
308
00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:54,162
...he barely touched her with the
needle, she screamed and that was it.
309
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:56,058
Okay, hi!
310
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:01,695
For your information,
this is exactly what I wanted.
311
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:06,337
This is a tattoo of the Earth as seen
from a great, great distance.
312
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:11,075
It's the way my mother
sees me from heaven.
313
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:14,811
Oh, what a load of crap!
314
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:17,618
That is a dot!
315
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:22,519
Your mother's in heaven going,
"Where the hell's my lily, you wuss!"
316
00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:27,622
That is not a tattoo!
This is a tattoo!
317
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:33,933
You got a tattoo?
318
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,366
Maybe.
319
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:40,542
But just a little one.
Phoebe got the whole world!
320
00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:44,240
Well, let me see.
321
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:48,584
Well?
322
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,688
Well, it's really...
323
00:19:52,457 --> 00:19:53,822
...sexy.
324
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,526
I wouldn't have thought
it would be, but...
325
00:19:57,429 --> 00:19:58,487
...wow!
326
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:02,397
Really?
327
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:07,906
So is it sore?
Or can you do stuff?
328
00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:11,606
I guess.
329
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:13,771
Save us some pizza.
330
00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:21,950
Get it out of the corner!
331
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:24,947
Pass it! Pass it!
332
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,390
Stop talking to your men!
333
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,857
And the table is mine.
334
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:37,661
Congratulations.
335
00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:52,641
You guys will still
come visit me, right?
336
00:20:52,951 --> 00:20:54,612
Oh, yeah! You got the big TV.
337
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,979
We'll be over there all the time.
338
00:20:57,856 --> 00:20:59,915
Except when we are here.
339
00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:07,622
I know you're just moving uptown,
but I'll really miss you.
340
00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:11,029
How can you not be
across the hall anymore?
341
00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:15,364
Who's gonna eat all of our food
and tie up our phone lines
342
00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:17,472
Is that my bra?
343
00:21:19,711 --> 00:21:23,477
- What are you doing with my bra?
- It's not what you think.
344
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:26,775
We used it to fling
water balloons off the roof.
345
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:31,421
Remember? Those kids couldn't
even get theirs across the street.
346
00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:33,449
Yeah, I remember.
347
00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:39,330
Let's bring the rest of these
down to the truck.
348
00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:53,168
You want me to...
349
00:21:53,679 --> 00:21:55,840
...give you a hand
with the foosball table?
350
00:21:57,616 --> 00:22:00,346
You keep it.
You need the practice.
351
00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:03,618
Thanks.
352
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:05,812
So...
353
00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:07,885
...I guess this is it.
354
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:09,391
Yeah, right.
355
00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:10,956
I guess so.
356
00:22:16,568 --> 00:22:18,001
When am I gonna see you?
357
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,261
I'm guessing tonight
at the coffeehouse.
358
00:22:20,605 --> 00:22:22,937
Right. Yeah. Okay.
359
00:22:23,975 --> 00:22:25,499
Take care.
360
00:23:05,517 --> 00:23:07,485
Hey, dad. What are you doing here.
361
00:23:07,919 --> 00:23:09,853
I just stop by your boyfriend
to get a piece of my mind.
362
00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:13,458
- And.
- And I was got a punch on the nose.
363
00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:16,460
But he has the game on,
so we started to watch it.
364
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,865
Then we have time, and
came to find out what for.
365
00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:24,502
- But he offered me a beer,
you know what? - What?
366
00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:25,501
He got on tap.
367
00:23:26,938 --> 00:23:29,907
When he in this apartment, the
damn thing is build right on his part.
368
00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:33,909
Did you talk about me?
369
00:23:34,546 --> 00:23:38,482
Oh, right, actually,
we never got to you.
370
00:23:39,518 --> 00:23:44,455
look, you are a big girl. I just
hope you know what you are doing.
371
00:23:44,523 --> 00:23:49,460
I do. Dad, you wear the tie I got you.
372
00:23:51,496 --> 00:23:53,464
Where did you get the hat?
373
00:23:58,537 --> 00:23:59,504
I don't know.
|
1
00:00:04,051 --> 00:00:08,511
Вот что странно: замечал, что
у Капитана Кранча брови на шляпе?
2
00:00:08,689 --> 00:00:14,559
Только это странно? Он - уже
сорок лет капитан хлопьев.
3
00:00:17,230 --> 00:00:18,390
Что?
4
00:00:18,565 --> 00:00:21,193
Ложка!
Облизал и положил?!
5
00:00:23,637 --> 00:00:25,969
Облизал и положил!
6
00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:27,536
Ну, и?
7
00:00:27,708 --> 00:00:32,441
Это же дикость! Это как
пользоваться моей зубной щеткой!
8
00:00:32,713 --> 00:00:35,113
Ты пользовался
моей зубной щёткой!
9
00:00:35,816 --> 00:00:39,912
Ну, просто красной
я чистил слив.
10
00:00:40,554 --> 00:00:43,045
Красная -
это моя!
11
00:00:43,223 --> 00:00:48,320
О Боже! Банка открыта,
и червяки повсюду!
12
00:00:48,795 --> 00:00:53,357
А почему мы не можем пользоваться
одной щёткой, но можем одним мылом?
13
00:00:53,633 --> 00:00:57,399
Мыло - это мыло.
Оно самоочиающееся.
14
00:00:58,372 --> 00:01:00,033
Тогда в следующий раз,
когда будешь мыться,...
15
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:05,075
...подумай, что последнее
помыл я, и первое - ты.
16
00:01:06,246 --> 00:01:08,407
"Переезд Джоуи"
(сезон 2, серия 16)
17
00:01:55,328 --> 00:01:59,458
Ой, пижоны пришли!
По какому случаю?
18
00:01:59,633 --> 00:02:02,898
Знаете парня в моём шоу,
который лежит в коме?
19
00:02:03,336 --> 00:02:05,463
У него
плотный завтрак.
20
00:02:06,306 --> 00:02:08,934
- Если готова - идём.
- Оки-доки.
21
00:02:09,109 --> 00:02:11,805
Поверить не могу, что
вы делаете себе татуировки.
22
00:02:11,978 --> 00:02:13,912
Вы делаете
татуировки?
23
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,481
Да, но не говорите Россу.
Хочу сделать ему сюрприз.
24
00:02:17,818 --> 00:02:20,514
А это классно!
Что хотите набить?
25
00:02:21,221 --> 00:02:23,519
Я - лилию.
26
00:02:23,990 --> 00:02:26,959
В честь мамы.
Её звали Лили.
27
00:02:27,627 --> 00:02:31,893
Повезло, что её не звали
Большая Уродливая Клякса.
28
00:02:32,899 --> 00:02:35,367
- А где она будет?
- На плече.
29
00:02:35,535 --> 00:02:38,629
Что?
Что на твоём плече?
30
00:02:38,805 --> 00:02:40,898
Стружка.
(Игра слов с выражением "chip on shoulder"
-
"искать повода для ссоры")
31
00:02:42,609 --> 00:02:45,601
У меня большие проблемы
с отношениями.
32
00:02:46,179 --> 00:02:49,205
- Татуировка. Я делаю себе тату.
- Тату?
33
00:02:49,449 --> 00:02:52,577
Зачем? Зачем
она тебе?
34
00:02:53,386 --> 00:02:57,618
- А тебе не кажется, что они прикольные?
- Нет. Извини, но нет.
35
00:02:57,824 --> 00:03:01,055
Зачем вообще кто-то платит
за шрам на всю жизнь?
36
00:03:01,228 --> 00:03:03,492
А если выйдет
плохо?
37
00:03:03,663 --> 00:03:07,292
Это как плохая стрижка
раз и навсегда.
38
00:03:08,468 --> 00:03:10,959
А почему все
на меня смотрят?
39
00:03:11,137 --> 00:03:14,368
Подпиши открытку папе.
Сейчас придёт Ричард.
40
00:03:14,541 --> 00:03:18,238
- Ричард тоже идёт?
- Он - лучший друг родителей.
41
00:03:18,512 --> 00:03:21,777
И сегодня ты расскажешь про вас?
42
00:03:22,015 --> 00:03:26,509
Да, я решила подарить папе на
день рождения сердечный приступ.
43
00:03:26,953 --> 00:03:29,319
Нет, сказать
всё-таки нужно.
44
00:03:29,523 --> 00:03:32,924
Я не знаю, насколько он серьёзен,
и не скажу, пока не узнаю.
45
00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:35,527
Не думаю, что
родители будут против.
46
00:03:35,695 --> 00:03:39,187
Помнишь, когда тебе было 9,
а Ричарду - 30, папа сказал:
47
00:03:39,366 --> 00:03:41,766
"Боже, надеюсь, они
будут вместе.".
48
00:03:46,273 --> 00:03:48,332
- Кто там?
- Это я, припарковался прямо на дороге.
49
00:03:48,508 --> 00:03:50,032
Хорошо.
Росс, идём.
50
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,240
- Пока-пока.
- Пока.
51
00:04:01,454 --> 00:04:03,422
Пока-пока!
52
00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:18,466
Идём, идём, идём.
Так, подождите, подождите.
53
00:04:19,439 --> 00:04:22,806
- Всё будет хорошо.
- Ты что, совсем не волнуешься?
54
00:04:22,976 --> 00:04:26,673
Я просто в ужасе, просто этот
костюм очень хорошо впитывает.
55
00:04:26,846 --> 00:04:28,814
- Идём?
- Да.
56
00:04:28,982 --> 00:04:30,711
Нет,
знаете что?
57
00:04:30,884 --> 00:04:34,115
Росс, давай поменяем
вас местами, ты посередине.
58
00:04:34,287 --> 00:04:37,620
Нет, так мы как будто
пытаемся что-то скрыть.
59
00:04:37,791 --> 00:04:42,091
Моника, можешь хоть верхом на нём
въехать, они всё равно не поверят в это.
60
00:04:43,897 --> 00:04:45,228
Мы пришли!
61
00:04:45,398 --> 00:04:48,492
Здравствуйте, дети!
Здравствуй, дорогая!
62
00:04:48,668 --> 00:04:51,501
- Папа, с днём рождения.
- Спасибо.
63
00:04:51,671 --> 00:04:52,695
С днём рождения!
64
00:04:52,872 --> 00:04:55,432
Дети, вы поблагодарили доктора
Бёрка за то, что он вас подвёз?
65
00:04:55,609 --> 00:05:00,137
Мама, я думаю, Моника
поблагодарила его за нас обоих.
66
00:05:01,081 --> 00:05:03,208
Дети, так вы
приехали на поезде?
67
00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:06,010
Нет, их подвез
Ричард Бёрк.
68
00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:12,216
Кстати, я слышала он в городе подцепил
20-летнюю шлюшку.
69
00:05:15,395 --> 00:05:20,389
Палец судорогой схватило!
Извини. Дай мне, мама.
70
00:05:20,567 --> 00:05:25,664
Так Ричард закупается
в "Детском мире"?
71
00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:27,534
Вы все еще об этом?
72
00:05:27,707 --> 00:05:31,643
У нее, небось, IQ
как у салфетки.
73
00:05:31,811 --> 00:05:33,870
Наверное, даже и не красивая.
74
00:05:34,047 --> 00:05:37,847
Просто молодая,
и ничего еще не обвисло.
75
00:05:45,558 --> 00:05:48,925
- Правда, здорово?
- Роскошная квартира.
76
00:05:49,095 --> 00:05:52,223
В туалете зеркала с обоих сторон.
77
00:05:52,399 --> 00:05:55,527
Ходишь по-маленькому как будто
из трехствольного пулемета.
78
00:05:55,969 --> 00:05:58,904
Да, мечты сбываются.
79
00:05:59,072 --> 00:06:01,267
Серьезно.
80
00:06:02,308 --> 00:06:06,472
- А мы тут квартиру хвалили!
- Спасибо. Хочешь её?
81
00:06:06,713 --> 00:06:10,240
Я переезжаю в другую, побольше.
Возьми себе эту.
82
00:06:10,817 --> 00:06:14,048
- Ты представляешь меня здесь?
- А что?
83
00:06:14,220 --> 00:06:19,123
Не любишь вид на парк и высокие
потолки? Идём, покажу кухню.
84
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:22,990
А я кухню утром видел!
85
00:06:23,163 --> 00:06:26,758
По телевизору.
Хватит болтать. Ладно!
86
00:06:28,001 --> 00:06:30,401
- Скажи нам!
- Ей правда 20?
87
00:06:30,570 --> 00:06:32,561
Я вам ничего не скажу.
88
00:06:32,739 --> 00:06:36,175
У меня день рождения!
Поделись радостью!
89
00:06:36,342 --> 00:06:38,310
Папа, тебе лучше не знать.
90
00:06:38,478 --> 00:06:41,538
Подумаешь, секрет -
кризис среднего возраста!
91
00:06:41,715 --> 00:06:44,013
- Может, хватит?
- Я тебя понимаю.
92
00:06:44,184 --> 00:06:49,747
Я в 50 лет купил "Порше".
А у тебя своя игрушка.
93
00:06:49,923 --> 00:06:53,290
- Поверьте мне, всё не так.
- Скажу тебе вот что.
94
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:57,055
На выходные я мог бы
дать тебе тачку, а ты мне...
95
00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:59,755
Папа, умоляю -
не заканчивай фразу!
96
00:06:59,933 --> 00:07:01,958
Да я шучу!
97
00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:05,502
Я не дам ему и дотронуться
до "Порше".
98
00:07:12,445 --> 00:07:17,212
Слушай, Рэйч.
Какую лилию? Эту или ту?
99
00:07:17,784 --> 00:07:20,150
- Ну, я...
- Мне нравится эта.
100
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:25,758
Она открытая, как моя мама.
Открытая, щедрая душа.
101
00:07:26,126 --> 00:07:28,390
Ой, Фогхорн Легхорн!
102
00:07:29,696 --> 00:07:35,157
Блондинка идет в комнату 2.
Полублондинка - со мной.
103
00:07:35,335 --> 00:07:37,132
Ну пошли!
104
00:07:37,971 --> 00:07:39,939
Ты не идешь?
105
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:45,209
- Это из-за Росса?
- Нет.
106
00:07:45,612 --> 00:07:48,308
- Ну, да, может быть.
- Невероятно!
107
00:07:48,515 --> 00:07:53,350
Это ваши отношения?
"Росс" = "босс"?
108
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:55,784
Разве у нас 1922-й год?
109
00:07:56,322 --> 00:07:57,789
А что тогда было?
110
00:07:58,491 --> 00:08:01,824
Просто это было давно.
111
00:08:02,328 --> 00:08:05,593
Когда мужчины
приказывали женщинам.
112
00:08:05,799 --> 00:08:09,963
Потом нам дали голосовать (суффраж).
Это было хорошо, но само слово звучит ужасно.
113
00:08:12,839 --> 00:08:16,502
- Ты хочешь татуировку?
- Да, хочу. Просто Росс...
114
00:08:16,676 --> 00:08:20,874
Твой парень - твой хозяин?
115
00:08:21,514 --> 00:08:24,347
- Нет.
- Кто твой хозяин?
116
00:08:25,785 --> 00:08:27,150
Ты?
117
00:08:27,821 --> 00:08:30,619
Нет. Ты сама себе хозяйка!
118
00:08:30,790 --> 00:08:36,160
Иди туда и получай татуировку!
Пошла!
119
00:08:39,232 --> 00:08:43,032
Я ещё даже не сделала
татуировку, а уже крутая.
120
00:08:47,774 --> 00:08:49,002
Как дела?
121
00:08:49,175 --> 00:08:51,575
Я - шлюшка!
122
00:08:51,878 --> 00:08:54,711
Правда? А я герой.
123
00:08:56,883 --> 00:08:58,646
Это так тяжело.
124
00:08:58,818 --> 00:09:01,981
Знаю. Мне это тоже не нравится.
125
00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:04,885
Может, мы скажем им?
126
00:09:05,058 --> 00:09:08,118
Может, сперва твоим родителям?
127
00:09:08,294 --> 00:09:10,057
Мои умерли.
128
00:09:11,064 --> 00:09:13,965
Повезло тебе!
129
00:09:15,134 --> 00:09:17,898
- В смысле... Ну ты понял.
- Я знаю.
130
00:09:18,071 --> 00:09:20,505
Ты просто держись,
хорошо?
131
00:09:20,707 --> 00:09:24,939
- Я выхожу первый, хорошо?
- Хорошо.
132
00:09:28,848 --> 00:09:32,147
Джуди! Идешь в туалет!
Правильно делаешь!
133
00:09:35,321 --> 00:09:39,781
Спасибо за поддержку, Ричард.
134
00:09:43,162 --> 00:09:48,156
Дорогая, где моя бита с автографом
Хармона Киллбрю? Боб не верит!
135
00:09:48,334 --> 00:09:49,801
Без понятия.
136
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:53,897
Ты знал, что у Ричарда
шлюшка в городе?
137
00:09:54,073 --> 00:09:58,476
Да, он аж помолодел.
Как в "Коконе".
138
00:09:58,912 --> 00:10:02,143
Не могу представить Ричарда
с потаскушкой.
139
00:10:02,348 --> 00:10:06,045
Он сказал Джонни Шапиро,
что она очень славная.
140
00:10:06,219 --> 00:10:08,949
Сказал, что влюблён в неё.
141
00:10:09,122 --> 00:10:11,784
- Правда?
- Никогда не видел его таким счастливым.
142
00:10:11,958 --> 00:10:16,520
А ты, Джек, не думал променять
меня на модель помоложе?
143
00:10:16,729 --> 00:10:18,890
Ну что ты!
144
00:10:19,065 --> 00:10:23,161
С тобой у меня как будто
сразу две 25-летние.
145
00:10:26,139 --> 00:10:27,800
Перестань, Джек!
146
00:10:28,041 --> 00:10:29,872
Давай, давай!
147
00:10:30,576 --> 00:10:33,670
У меня день рождения!
148
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:41,550
Может, хватит? Мне
не нужна его квартира.
149
00:10:41,721 --> 00:10:46,556
Я видел, как ты пялился
на лепнину. Ты её хочешь!
150
00:10:46,726 --> 00:10:51,322
Зачем она мне нужна?
У меня есть любимая квартира.
151
00:10:51,497 --> 00:10:54,864
Мог бы и говорить об этом,
хотя бы иногда.
152
00:10:57,437 --> 00:11:02,340
Ладно. Хочешь правду?
Я подумываю.
153
00:11:02,508 --> 00:11:04,169
- Что?
- Извини.
154
00:11:04,344 --> 00:11:08,508
Мне 28, и я никогда
не жил один.
155
00:11:08,681 --> 00:11:13,345
Денег у меня теперь хватает,
чтобы обойтись без соседа.
156
00:11:13,519 --> 00:11:18,320
Я тоже могу обойтись без соседа.
Могу позволить себе жить здесь одному.
157
00:11:18,491 --> 00:11:22,791
И раз в неделю привести
кого-нибудь облизать ложки.
158
00:11:23,062 --> 00:11:28,193
Чего ты психуешь? Мы не
договаривались вечно жить вместе.
159
00:11:28,368 --> 00:11:30,632
Мы не Берт и Эрни.
160
00:11:32,105 --> 00:11:36,542
Знаешь, я в курсе,
что мы - не куклы-геи.
161
00:11:37,076 --> 00:11:38,373
Знаешь что?
162
00:11:38,544 --> 00:11:43,140
Если ты так чувствуешь,
то, может, тебе и стоит взять её.
163
00:11:43,349 --> 00:11:45,579
- Именно так я и чувствую.
- Тогда переезжай!
164
00:11:45,752 --> 00:11:47,276
- Может и перееду!
- Ну и ладно!
165
00:11:47,453 --> 00:11:53,483
Пускай! Сможешь проводить больше времени
со своими настоящими друзьями - ложками!
166
00:11:54,093 --> 00:11:56,823
Кому обновить бокал?
167
00:11:57,830 --> 00:12:00,526
Почти пора есть торт!
168
00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:12,205
Моника, ты как?
169
00:12:12,378 --> 00:12:16,439
Помнишь, как я нашла видео
с мамой и папой?
170
00:12:16,783 --> 00:12:19,684
Так вот, только что
я застала живую трансляцию.
171
00:12:24,857 --> 00:12:26,984
- Привет.
- В чем дело?
172
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:31,596
Ни в чем. Я услышала о тебе
что-то хорошее.
173
00:12:32,698 --> 00:12:33,892
Да ну?
174
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:35,329
Ричард?
175
00:12:35,501 --> 00:12:40,336
- У твоего сына никого нет?
- Насколько я знаю.
176
00:12:40,573 --> 00:12:45,533
Может, он как-нибудь
позвонит Монике?
177
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,580
Хорошая мысль.
178
00:12:49,749 --> 00:12:52,877
Вообще-то я встречаюсь с парнем.
179
00:12:53,052 --> 00:12:54,280
М?
180
00:12:58,324 --> 00:13:02,852
Она нам ничего не рассказывает.
Росс, ты знал о ее парне?
181
00:13:03,029 --> 00:13:06,795
Мама, у меня в жизни много людей.
182
00:13:06,966 --> 00:13:12,097
Кто-то встречается, кто-то нет.
Это "Кристалл"?
183
00:13:14,307 --> 00:13:16,138
Кто же этот незнакомец?
184
00:13:16,876 --> 00:13:19,208
Ну, он - доктор.
185
00:13:19,445 --> 00:13:20,878
Настоящий?
186
00:13:21,114 --> 00:13:23,480
Нет, доктор мясных наук.
187
00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:27,884
Конечно, настоящий.
И он красивый.
188
00:13:28,788 --> 00:13:31,586
И добрый. Тебе бы понравился.
189
00:13:31,791 --> 00:13:33,759
Как чудесно...
190
00:13:39,799 --> 00:13:41,892
Мама, все в порядке.
191
00:13:42,101 --> 00:13:44,797
- Правда, Джуди.
- Джек!
192
00:13:46,706 --> 00:13:50,870
Можешь зайти на минутку?
Немедленно!
193
00:13:51,744 --> 00:13:55,145
- Нашел!
- Я подержу, папа.
194
00:13:58,017 --> 00:14:02,613
Кажется, между твоей дочерью
и Ричардом что-то есть.
195
00:14:03,089 --> 00:14:06,855
Не может быть.
У него шлюшка в городе.
196
00:14:07,693 --> 00:14:08,990
Это я.
197
00:14:09,595 --> 00:14:11,790
- Ты - шлюшка?
- Она не шлюшка!
198
00:14:12,265 --> 00:14:15,496
Слушайте, таких отношений
у меня еще...
199
00:14:15,668 --> 00:14:17,932
Каких еще отношений?!
200
00:14:18,171 --> 00:14:22,039
Да, отношений! К твоему сведению,
я от него без ума.
201
00:14:22,275 --> 00:14:25,335
- Правда?
- Да.
202
00:14:25,545 --> 00:14:29,743
И я должен выслушивать это
на свой день рождения?
203
00:14:29,916 --> 00:14:34,182
А мне хорошо. И ты сам сказал,
что Ричард на редкость счастлив.
204
00:14:34,353 --> 00:14:35,342
Когда я это сказал?
205
00:14:35,521 --> 00:14:39,753
В ванной, перед тем как
начал лапать маму!
206
00:14:57,210 --> 00:15:00,543
Какая красивая! Обожаю.
207
00:15:00,713 --> 00:15:03,944
И я тоже! Молодчинка, это все ты.
208
00:15:04,116 --> 00:15:06,482
Теперь покажи свою.
209
00:15:09,222 --> 00:15:11,349
Давай посмотрим на твою.
210
00:15:12,225 --> 00:15:16,321
- Мою мы видели. Показывай свою.
- Ну хорошо.
211
00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:19,129
О нет!
212
00:15:20,266 --> 00:15:25,727
Пропала! Как странно.
Как же это она исчезла.
213
00:15:27,773 --> 00:15:30,333
- Ты не сделала себе?
- Нет.
214
00:15:30,743 --> 00:15:33,337
- Почему?
- Ну извини, извини!
215
00:15:33,512 --> 00:15:36,208
Как ты могла? Это же ты придумала!
216
00:15:36,382 --> 00:15:40,318
Я знаю! Я собиралась,
но тут вошел мужик с иголкой.
217
00:15:40,486 --> 00:15:43,853
Ты знала,
что это делается иголками?
218
00:15:44,023 --> 00:15:45,854
Да что ты говоришь?
219
00:15:46,025 --> 00:15:49,426
А мою мне нализали котята!
220
00:15:50,129 --> 00:15:53,496
Прости. Серьёзно,
это очень больно?
221
00:15:53,666 --> 00:15:56,965
Нет, просто
щипок. Как этот:
222
00:15:57,136 --> 00:15:58,831
О Господи!
223
00:15:59,972 --> 00:16:03,567
Это было действительно больно.
Ну вот, и след останется.
224
00:16:08,447 --> 00:16:10,074
Извини меня за то...
225
00:16:10,249 --> 00:16:13,013
- И меня.
- Ага.
226
00:16:15,655 --> 00:16:18,180
Надо обняться?
227
00:16:18,357 --> 00:16:20,655
Да нет, не обязательно.
228
00:16:22,028 --> 00:16:23,791
Я тебе что-то принес.
229
00:16:24,764 --> 00:16:26,197
Одноразовые ложки!
230
00:16:28,601 --> 00:16:31,866
- Круто!
- Хоть залижись, чувак!
231
00:16:32,271 --> 00:16:36,731
Пригодятся на новом месте,
пока не куплю свои.
232
00:16:36,909 --> 00:16:38,240
Что?
233
00:16:38,411 --> 00:16:42,575
Ну, эти же не навсегда.
Он не экологичные.
234
00:16:43,049 --> 00:16:46,075
На каком еще новом месте?
235
00:16:46,585 --> 00:16:51,386
- Я переезжаю, как договорились.
- Я не думал, что это всерьёз.
236
00:16:52,658 --> 00:16:55,286
Я думал, это просто ссора.
237
00:16:55,528 --> 00:16:59,692
Это и была ссора, но
с серьезными основаниями.
238
00:16:59,965 --> 00:17:02,058
Я же никогда не жил один,
и вообще...
239
00:17:02,234 --> 00:17:05,692
Это пойдет мне на пользу.
Я повзрослею...
240
00:17:05,871 --> 00:17:07,736
...или типа того.
241
00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:13,308
Ну ладно.
242
00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:18,711
Эй, ты как?
Не хочу оставлять тебя на взводе.
243
00:17:18,884 --> 00:17:21,785
Я не на взводе.
Я спущен дальше некуда.
244
00:17:23,322 --> 00:17:27,281
Все хорошо. Сделаю
из твоей спальни игровую.
245
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:30,088
Поставлю там футбол.
246
00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:34,192
А почему это стол останется тебе?
247
00:17:36,335 --> 00:17:38,769
Я заплатил за него половину.
248
00:17:41,507 --> 00:17:46,706
- А я - другую половину
- Знаешь что? Сыграем на него.
249
00:17:46,879 --> 00:17:48,244
Хорошо, давай.
250
00:17:48,414 --> 00:17:52,214
Я найду две минуты,
чтобы вздрючить тебя.
251
00:17:52,718 --> 00:17:56,654
Я поимею твою команду крепче,
чем твою сестру.
252
00:18:03,729 --> 00:18:05,253
Которую?
253
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:11,101
Тебе не жаль, что ты сказал?
254
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:15,730
Нет. Давненько мы с твоим
отцом не делали пробежек.
255
00:18:19,678 --> 00:18:21,669
- Ну как, сделали?
- Росс здесь?
256
00:18:21,847 --> 00:18:25,044
- Пошел за пиццей.
- Тогда быстро.
257
00:18:26,252 --> 00:18:28,812
- Красиво!
- Со вкусом.
258
00:18:29,855 --> 00:18:31,846
- А мою хотите?
- Да.
259
00:18:32,024 --> 00:18:33,924
Что? Ты же не сделала!
260
00:18:34,093 --> 00:18:37,187
А это тогда что?
261
00:18:38,798 --> 00:18:41,062
На что нам смотреть?
262
00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:43,735
На синюю точку?
263
00:18:44,703 --> 00:18:46,034
Это моя татуировка.
264
00:18:46,205 --> 00:18:48,799
Это не татуировка! Это пшик.
265
00:18:49,308 --> 00:18:52,402
Я усадила ее в кресло,
и при первом касании иглы...
266
00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:54,876
...она с визгом убежала.
267
00:18:55,047 --> 00:18:56,912
Привет!
268
00:18:58,651 --> 00:19:02,985
Кстати, именно это я и хотела.
269
00:19:03,155 --> 00:19:08,525
Это планета Земля
с очень большого расстояния.
270
00:19:08,994 --> 00:19:12,486
Как ее видит моя мама из рая.
271
00:19:12,665 --> 00:19:15,429
Ну и херню ты нагородила!
272
00:19:16,836 --> 00:19:18,326
Это точка!
273
00:19:18,504 --> 00:19:23,373
Твоя мама в раю кричит:
"Где моя лилия, обманщица?".
274
00:19:24,543 --> 00:19:29,981
Это не татуировка!
Вот татуировка!
275
00:19:32,751 --> 00:19:34,514
У тебя татуировка?
276
00:19:35,788 --> 00:19:37,221
Возможно.
277
00:19:38,257 --> 00:19:41,488
Но маленькая. А у Фиби целый мир!
278
00:19:43,162 --> 00:19:45,392
Дай посмотреть.
279
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,633
Ну?
280
00:19:49,802 --> 00:19:51,292
Ну, она такая...
281
00:19:53,038 --> 00:19:54,528
...сексуальная.
282
00:19:54,707 --> 00:19:57,835
Я не думал, что так выйдет, но...
283
00:19:58,010 --> 00:19:59,602
...ух ты!
284
00:20:02,114 --> 00:20:05,379
- Правда?
- Ну да. Так...
285
00:20:05,551 --> 00:20:08,486
...она болит?
Или ты уже можешь... ну, это?
286
00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:12,985
Наверное.
287
00:20:13,158 --> 00:20:15,718
Оставьте нам пиццы.
288
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,794
Выводи из угла!
289
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:25,562
Пасуй! Пасуй!
290
00:20:26,071 --> 00:20:28,266
Не подсказывай!
291
00:20:30,709 --> 00:20:33,371
И стол мой!
292
00:20:36,482 --> 00:20:38,882
Поздравляю.
293
00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:53,228
Вы же будете приходить ко мне, да?
294
00:20:53,399 --> 00:20:58,098
Конечно! У тебя большой телевизор.
Мы будем здесь всё время.
295
00:20:58,270 --> 00:21:00,465
Но не тогда, когда мы у тебя.
296
00:21:05,210 --> 00:21:08,907
Ты переезжаешь недалеко,
но я буду скучать.
297
00:21:09,081 --> 00:21:11,549
Мы привыкли, что ты напротив!
298
00:21:11,784 --> 00:21:15,948
Кто же будет нас объедать
и занимать телефон...
299
00:21:16,188 --> 00:21:18,554
Это мой лифчик?
300
00:21:20,059 --> 00:21:24,052
- Зачем он тебе?
- Не подумай плохого.
301
00:21:24,229 --> 00:21:28,359
Мы им добивали шарики с водой
аж через дом.
302
00:21:28,534 --> 00:21:32,800
А те дети даже через улицу
не могли перекинуть.
303
00:21:32,972 --> 00:21:35,031
Я помню.
304
00:21:36,909 --> 00:21:40,538
Давайте отнесем вещи в грузовик.
305
00:21:52,124 --> 00:21:54,058
Помочь тебе...
306
00:21:54,226 --> 00:21:57,024
...вынести твой стол?
307
00:21:58,163 --> 00:22:00,927
Оставь себе. Тебе нужна тренировка.
308
00:22:03,335 --> 00:22:05,235
Спасибо.
309
00:22:05,404 --> 00:22:08,464
Вот, кажется, и всё.
310
00:22:09,074 --> 00:22:12,669
Ага. Наверное.
311
00:22:14,713 --> 00:22:18,479
Слушай, я не знаю,
когда снова увижу тебя.
312
00:22:18,651 --> 00:22:20,881
Наверное, сегодня в кафе.
313
00:22:21,053 --> 00:22:23,988
Ага, хорошо.
314
00:22:24,523 --> 00:22:26,957
- Ну пока.
- Ага.
315
00:23:05,698 --> 00:23:11,637
- О, папа, привет. Что ты здесь делаешь?
- Я просто заехал к твоему дружку.
316
00:23:11,804 --> 00:23:14,466
- И?
- Я собирался дать ему в нос.
317
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:18,576
Но по телику шла игра,
так что мы сели смотреть.
318
00:23:18,744 --> 00:23:21,542
И в перерыве
я собирался-таки врезать ему.
319
00:23:21,714 --> 00:23:24,547
- Но он предложил мне пива. И знаешь что?
- Что?
320
00:23:24,717 --> 00:23:27,151
У него было разливное.
321
00:23:27,319 --> 00:23:31,915
Прямо в квартире. Эта штука
встроена в его бар. Просто невероятно.
322
00:23:32,091 --> 00:23:33,991
Папа, так вы
поговорили обо мне?
323
00:23:34,626 --> 00:23:39,620
Да, верно. Вообще-то,
мы так до тебя и не добрались.
324
00:23:39,798 --> 00:23:44,735
Послушай, ты уже большая девочка.
Я лишь надеюсь, что ты знаешь, что делаешь.
325
00:23:44,903 --> 00:23:46,803
Знаю.
326
00:23:47,940 --> 00:23:52,001
- Ты надел галстук, который я тебе подарила.
- Да.
327
00:23:52,578 --> 00:23:54,978
А откуда у тебя эта шляпа?
328
00:23:58,484 --> 00:24:00,509
Не знаю.
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