1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:05,000
I can't believe we've never
done this. It's so good!
2
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:09,200
It's so good for Monica.
3
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,800
Time's up! My turn.
4
00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:18,500
- That was half an hour?
- It's your timer.
5
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:24,800
I don't like to brag about it,
but I give the best massages.
6
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,400
All right, then massage me up
right nice!
7
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,500
It's so good, isn't it?
8
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:38,500
I don't know what
I did to deserve it.
9
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,700
Say goodbye to sore muscles!
10
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,100
Goodbye, muscles!
11
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:47,700
The One with Joey's Bag
12
00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:36,400
She gives the worst massages ever!
13
00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:40,200
It was like she was torturing me
for information.
14
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:44,700
I wanted to give it up.
I just didn't know what it was!
15
00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:47,600
If it hurts that bad,
you should tell her.
16
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,600
For the first time,
I'm in a real relationship.
17
00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:55,600
I won't screw that up
by telling the truth.
18
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,700
Dude, look out!
19
00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,100
You almost crushed my hat.
20
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:02,100
Sorry.
21
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,900
And the bunny got away.
22
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:17,700
This would be the place
where you explain the hat.
23
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:19,800
There's this play, right?
24
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,000
I'm up for the part of this
cool, suave, international guy.
25
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,100
A clothes horse, so I figure...
26
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:30,900
...everyone at the audition will
wear ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
27
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:33,900
And you'll make them disappear?
28
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:38,900
Like you could find something
this sophisticated.
29
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,200
Done!
30
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:45,700
If you want to look good,
come to the store. I'll help you.
31
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,400
- Thanks!
- Sure.
32
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:50,700
Please, take those off!
33
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,000
Hey, Pheebs. How's it going?
34
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:59,000
Only okay. Because I just
got back from the hospital.
35
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:00,700
Are you all right?
36
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,500
I'm fine.
But my grandma sort of died.
37
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:06,500
Pheebs, sorry.
38
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:07,600
It's okay.
39
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,800
She had a really incredible life.
40
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:14,700
It's not like I won't see her again.
She'll visit.
41
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,300
Maybe she's with us right now.
42
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:23,500
Right. She's on a new spiritual plain
and she'll come to the coffeehouse.
43
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:28,800
I just saw two people having sex
in a car right outside!
44
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:33,600
Pheebs' grandmother just died.
45
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:36,400
Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
46
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,800
Actually, it's kind of cool.
Because it's like...
47
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:44,300
...you know, one life ends
and another begins.
48
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:48,300
Not the way they're doing it.
49
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,300
What happened?
How did she die?
50
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,700
We were in the market...
51
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:58,600
...and she bent down to get some yogurt
and never came back up again.
52
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:00,100
I'm so sorry.
53
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,300
The last thing she said was:
54
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:07,800
"You get the eggs, I'll get the yogurt,
and we'll meet at the checkout counter."
55
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,300
You know what?
56
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:13,500
We will meet at the checkout counter.
57
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:22,600
Since you're returning
all this stuff...
58
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,800
...you'll have to wear underwear.
59
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:30,400
All right.
You'd better show me that too.
60
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:34,200
It's missing something.
61
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,000
Really? A purse?
62
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:45,600
It's not a purse.
It's a shoulder bag.
63
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,300
It looks like a woman's purse.
64
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,600
Trust me, all the men are carrying
them in the spring catalog.
65
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:56,200
See, look.
Men carrying the bag.
66
00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,700
See, look.
Women carrying the bag.
67
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:12,800
But it is odd how a woman's purse
looks so good on me, a man.
68
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:15,100
Exactly. Unisex!
69
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:20,000
Maybe you need sex.
I had sex a couple days ago.
70
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:25,100
No, Joey. U-N-I sex.
71
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:29,200
I ain't going to say no to that!
72
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,900
- Who is it?
- It's Phoebe.
73
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,200
Oh, great!
74
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,800
Oh, you.
75
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,800
What's up?
76
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:51,100
Well, I sort of have some bad news.
Can I come in?
77
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,900
No, thanks.
78
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,600
Grandma died today.
79
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,500
Didn't she die like five years ago?
80
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:06,600
No, she just died today.
81
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,700
We're having
a memorial service tomorrow.
82
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,700
Okay, I know I went to that already.
83
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,400
No, you didn't!
84
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,200
Then who's been dead?
85
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:19,200
Lots of people!
86
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:23,800
Look, are you coming or not?
87
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:30,900
I thought she was dead,
so I've made my peace.
88
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,800
Plus I'm going to a concert.
89
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:38,100
I'd invite you,
but I only have two tickets left.
90
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:44,100
- Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert.
- Thanks. Enjoy your funeral!
91
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:58,400
You look just like your son,
Mrs. Tribbiani.
92
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:02,900
What? Are you referring
to my man's bag?
93
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:06,500
I thought it just looked good,
but it's practical too.
94
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:10,900
It's got compartments for your
wallet, keys, address book...
95
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,500
Your makeup.
96
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,800
What are you doing?
The audition's tomorrow.
97
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:20,000
Yeah, but sandwich time is right now.
98
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:23,000
You get mustard on that bag,
you can't return it.
99
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,100
Why would I return this?
I love this bag!
100
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:29,900
- All right, then you owe me $350.
- Fine.
101
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:34,700
Do you take Vasa or Mooster Card?
102
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:40,600
Relax, I'll pay you with the money
from the job I'll get. Thanks to you.
103
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,700
What's the part? Auntie Mame?
104
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:46,800
Don't listen to them.
I think it's sexy.
105
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,400
You-and-I sexy?
106
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,000
Hello, Mrs. Pinilla.
Thank you for coming.
107
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,800
Here's your 3-D glasses.
108
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:08,100
Reverend Pong will say
when to put them on.
109
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,600
Hi, sweetie.
110
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,900
- How are you holding up?
- Fine.
111
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:18,100
Hey, Pheebs. I'm so sorry.
112
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:22,500
You know what?
My grandma had the exact same bag!
113
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,000
I brought you flowers.
114
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,700
Oh, thanks!
115
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:30,400
Pulling flowers out
makes the bag look masculine.
116
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,200
Excuse me, is this the memorial?
117
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,100
Welcome.
118
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,100
Here's your 3-D glasses.
119
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,300
All right.
120
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,800
So how did you know Frances?
121
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,600
Actually, I hadn't seen her for years.
122
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:51,600
But I was pretty tight
with her and her daughter.
123
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,000
What's your name?
124
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,500
Frank Buffay.
125
00:08:57,700 --> 00:09:02,500
You know what? Strike that.
My name, actually, is Joe.
126
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,300
Joe Hill.
127
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:05,400
You're Frank Buf...
128
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,100
No! Joe Hill.
129
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:10,300
You just said...
130
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:14,900
I got to go.
Thank you so much for coming.
131
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,700
Oh, my God!
132
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,200
What happened?
133
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:23,200
That was my dad.
134
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,300
Check it out!
135
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:29,000
It's like it's coming right at me.
136
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,800
- Did you catch him?
- What did he say?
137
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:41,300
He said, "Nice to meet you, Glenda."
138
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,700
I couldn't give him my real name.
139
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,000
Why not?
140
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:46,700
You saw the way he ran.
141
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,700
You think he'd talk
to the daughter he abandoned?
142
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,700
What did you say to him?
143
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:56,200
I said I was the executor of the will
and I needed to talk to him.
144
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,200
I'm going to meet him
at the coffeehouse.
145
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,300
Could everyone take their seats?
146
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,200
I just can't think about that now.
147
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,300
I want to say goodbye to my grandma.
148
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:10,400
Let's go say goodbye.
149
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:25,600
I'm off to my audition.
How do I look?
150
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:28,500
Great!
That bag will get you that part.
151
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:31,900
And a date with a man.
152
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:36,400
You know what? Make fun all you want.
This is a great bag.
153
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:39,300
And it's as handy as it is becoming.
154
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,900
Just because you don't understand
something, doesn't make it wrong.
155
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,600
You guys have to get used
to the fact that Joey...
156
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,100
...comes with a bag!
157
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,500
I've got to meet my dad.
158
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,500
Will you tell him who you are?
159
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:58,300
Not at first.
I don't want to freak him out.
160
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,400
But aren't you pissed at him?
161
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:02,600
This guy abandoned you.
162
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:07,100
If it were me, this guy would be
in some serious physical danger.
163
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:12,100
I'd walk in there,
I'd be like, "Yo, Dad!"
164
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,400
"You and me, outside.
Right now!"
165
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:19,300
I kind of scared myself.
166
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:23,200
Well, at least you scared someone.
167
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,400
You'd think I'd be angry.
168
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:30,300
You'd think I'd want to rip
his tiny little head off!
169
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,100
Fortunately, I'm past it.
170
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:37,300
You do seem a little tense.
Here, let me help you.
171
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,300
Get off!
172
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:43,100
Stop it!
Why are you doing that to me?
173
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,600
What are you talking about?
174
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:47,700
As a masseuse and a human...
175
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:52,100
...I'm begging you,
never do that to anyone!
176
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,500
I give good massages.
177
00:11:56,700 --> 00:12:00,900
I gave them to Rachel
before she got allergic.
178
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:06,300
And Chandler, he loves them!
Watch.
179
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,900
He does not like it.
He's in pain!
180
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,000
- No, he's not.
- Yes, he is!
181
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:17,400
- What?
- I'm sorry but...
182
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,800
You've been lying to me?
183
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,600
I can't believe that.
184
00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:25,900
Maybe he didn't want to hurt you.
185
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:30,900
But the minute we start
to lie to each other...
186
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,100
And by "we"...
187
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,700
...I mean society.
188
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:41,700
Anytime you're ready.
189
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000
Well, you must be new here.
190
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,600
Maybe we get a table,
I buy you a drink.
191
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,600
Could you try it without the purse?
192
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:54,300
Yeah, sure.
193
00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:00,600
Well, you must be new here.
Maybe we sit...
194
00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:02,400
Can I ask you something?
195
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,600
Sure. What?
196
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:08,000
Well, first,
it's not a purse.
197
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:09,500
Anytime.
198
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,200
If you think
it's a woman's bag, it's not.
199
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,000
It's a man's bag.
200
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,700
Okay. And go!
201
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,900
Let me show you the catalog.
202
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,800
Look. See?
203
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,200
It's the latest thing.
204
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,400
Everyone's got one.
Men, women, children.
205
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,500
Do you sell these?
206
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:37,900
No, these babies sell themselves.
207
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,500
Thank you.
That was great.
208
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,300
But I didn't read anything.
209
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,200
I think we've seen enough.
210
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,000
All right, I'll see you.
211
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:50,600
We got it. We got it.
212
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,200
Is Rachel here?
213
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:59,400
Listen, I just wanted to apologize
about the whole massage thing.
214
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:02,200
I really like them.
215
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,600
Please stop!
216
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,900
We're supposed to be honest.
217
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:13,200
I wish you could tell me,
"I don't like your massages."
218
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:20,400
I don't like your massages.
219
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,300
See? It's no big deal.
220
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,400
But now you're crying!
221
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:31,800
I'm not crying about that.
I'm crying about something at work.
222
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,700
My boyfriend said
he didn't like my massages.
223
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,400
You don't have
to be best at everything.
224
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:43,800
Oh, my God!
You don't know me at all!
225
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:48,100
You give the worst massages
in the world.
226
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:50,700
I'm crying here!
227
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,200
Look, hear me out.
228
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:56,500
You give the best bad massages.
229
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:59,800
If anybody was looking
for the best bad massage...
230
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,200
...and they thought,
"Who's the best?"
231
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:05,500
They'd have to go to you.
232
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:13,300
So you're saying that
if there was an award...
233
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:18,100
...for the best bad massage...
Who would get that?
234
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,000
It would be you!
235
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:24,300
You, Monica!
And you'd get all the votes.
236
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:28,500
So they could call the award,
"The Monica"?
237
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,900
Absolutely.
238
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,700
I suck!
239
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:43,800
Thank you for meeting me.
240
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,800
Thank you.
241
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:49,100
Come sit.
242
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,200
Sit.
243
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:54,500
Sit!
244
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:57,800
Alrighty.
Before we get started, I need you...
245
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,200
...to state for the record
that you are, in fact, Frank Buffay.
246
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,900
Yes, I am.
247
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,100
What did Frances leave me?
248
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:13,700
That's why you wanted me to come.
249
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:18,200
Yes, she did. She left you...
250
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,600
...this lipstick.
251
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:28,700
It's used.
252
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,400
Cool!
253
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:40,300
I have just a few questions to ask,
so I'll get out my official forms.
254
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,600
So question one:
255
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:48,700
You were married to Frances'
daughter, Lilly. Correct?
256
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,600
Yes, I was.
257
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,500
Question two:
Did that marriage end...
258
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:56,400
A: Happily?
259
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,900
B: Medium?
260
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:02,300
Or C: In the total abandonment...
261
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,200
...of her and her two children?
262
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:06,700
It really says that?
263
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,600
Yeah, see?
264
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:13,900
I guess then I would have to say C.
265
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:17,200
Total abandonment.
266
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,100
Reasons for abandonment:
267
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:22,900
A: Top secret government work.
268
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:24,300
B: Amnesia.
269
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:27,800
Or C: You're just a selfish,
irresponsible...
270
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:30,800
...bad, bad man.
271
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:35,000
I don't want the lipstick that much.
272
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,500
Would you do me a favor?
273
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:41,200
Would you give Lilly...
274
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,300
...that, please?
275
00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:45,700
When you see Lilly,
give her that note.
276
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,700
I wanted to talk to her
at the memorial...
277
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:54,100
...but I pictured her getting mad
the way you did, and I chickened out.
278
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,900
I wrote her a note.
Give it to her, please?
279
00:17:57,100 --> 00:18:00,500
But you came to see Lilly?
280
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,600
Yeah. Why?
281
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:06,300
Lilly's dead.
282
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:07,600
She what?
283
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:09,200
She's dead.
284
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,500
Are you sure?
285
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:15,000
If she isn't, cremating her
was a big mistake.
286
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,100
I can't believe this.
I just can't believe...
287
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,800
How?
Oh, my God.
288
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,000
How long ago?
289
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,200
17 years ago.
290
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:31,000
What about the girls?
291
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:37,800
Well, Ursula is a waitress
and she lives in Soho.
292
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,500
And Phoebe...
293
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:45,100
...is on this couch.
294
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:56,000
Yep, lipstick and a daughter.
Big day for you!
295
00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:00,700
Phoebe, I...
296
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:06,000
It's just, I don't know what to say.
297
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:12,100
I just can't believe that you're
my daughter. You're so pretty.
298
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:16,600
Yes, well, that's neither
here nor there.
299
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:20,100
Would it make you feel
better if I said...
300
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:25,500
...that I was very, very sorry I left?
301
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:29,500
It doesn't matter what you say.
It won't make a difference.
302
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,800
So you can just go.
303
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:38,200
Well, you know, in my defense,
I was a lousy father.
304
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,000
- That's your defense?
- Yes, it is.
305
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:45,200
I burned the formula,
and I put your diapers on backwards.
306
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:50,700
I made up a song to sing to you,
but that made you cry even more.
307
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,100
You make up songs?
308
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,500
Well, no, just that one.
But it was stupid.
309
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:59,700
Let's see, how did it go?
310
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:03,300
<i>Sleepy girl, sleepy girl
311
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,700
<i>Why won't you go to sleep?
312
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:09,600
<i>Sleepy girl, sleepy girl
313
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:13,600
<i>You're keeping me up
314
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:34,500
I'm not very good at this.
315
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,100
Well, I am.
316
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,800
Not yet. No.
317
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:52,900
How'd the audition go?
318
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,500
Estelle said I didn't get it.
319
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,000
What? Why?
Joey, you were so ready for it.
320
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,600
I thought so too...
321
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:02,500
...but the casting people
had problems with me.
322
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:04,000
What kind of problem?
323
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,800
To tell you the truth...
324
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:10,800
...they had a problem with the bag!
325
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,100
You know what?
It was a stupid play anyway.
326
00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:16,300
It's time to give up the bag.
327
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:19,100
I don't want to give up the bag.
328
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,400
I don't have to give it up,
do I, Rach?
329
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:27,800
You think I should give up the bag!
330
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:34,000
Joey, I'm sorry. As terrific
as I think you are with it...
331
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:40,900
...I just don't know if the world
is ready for you and your bag.
332
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,400
I can't believe this!
333
00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:47,800
Wait, I'm not saying
you shouldn't have a bag.
334
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:52,800
There are other bags
that are maybe a little less...
335
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,300
...controversial.
336
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,800
Yeah, they're called wallets.
|
1
00:00:03,315 --> 00:00:07,376
Не могу поверить что мы никогда
этого не делали. Это так клёво!
2
00:00:07,586 --> 00:00:10,077
Так хорошо Монике.
3
00:00:13,392 --> 00:00:14,757
Время вышло! Моя очередь.
4
00:00:16,962 --> 00:00:19,328
- Уже полчаса прошло?
- Твой таймер.
5
00:00:22,668 --> 00:00:27,230
Не люблю хвастаться,
но я делаю массаж лучше всех.
6
00:00:27,472 --> 00:00:30,305
Хорошо, тогда помассажируй меня
по-хорошему!
7
00:00:35,514 --> 00:00:36,947
Хорошо, правда?
8
00:00:37,182 --> 00:00:39,412
Я не знаю
что я сделал чтобы это заслужить.
9
00:00:41,119 --> 00:00:45,180
И не пытайся добавить
время своего массажа.
10
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:48,620
Попрощайся с болью в мышцах!
11
00:00:48,927 --> 00:00:50,827
Прощайте, мышцы!
12
00:00:52,264 --> 00:00:54,494
Серия про сумку Джоуи (перевод mik4562000)
13
00:01:39,778 --> 00:01:42,269
Она делает худший массаж!
14
00:01:43,548 --> 00:01:46,779
Она как будто пытала меня
ради информации.
15
00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,652
Я готов был сдать всё.
Я только не знал что именно!
16
00:01:51,757 --> 00:01:54,453
Если так больно,
нужно ей сказать.
17
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,456
В первый раз,
у меня настоящие отношения.
18
00:01:57,729 --> 00:02:00,892
Я не хочу всё портить
сказав правду.
19
00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:04,501
Чувак, осторожно!
20
00:02:04,770 --> 00:02:06,397
Ты чуть не поломал мою шляпу.
21
00:02:07,172 --> 00:02:08,264
Извини.
22
00:02:09,174 --> 00:02:11,165
И кролик убежал.
23
00:02:19,384 --> 00:02:22,751
А теперь ты должен
объяснить шляпy.
24
00:02:26,591 --> 00:02:30,254
Это называется "цилиндр".
25
00:02:32,597 --> 00:02:37,091
И почему ты носишь "это"?
Как, ещё раз, - "цилиндр"?
26
00:02:39,838 --> 00:02:41,328
Пьеса одна есть, ясно?
27
00:02:41,606 --> 00:02:45,508
Меня рассматривают на роль
одного клевого, учтивого, международного парня.
28
00:02:45,777 --> 00:02:47,608
Одетый жеребец, и я смекнул...
29
00:02:47,846 --> 00:02:52,374
...что все на прослушивании
будут одеты ультра-хиппово и очень модно.
30
00:02:52,651 --> 00:02:54,380
И ты заставил их исчезнуть?
31
00:02:55,654 --> 00:02:58,851
Как будто для тебя
это сложно.
32
00:03:00,525 --> 00:03:01,719
Сделано!
33
00:03:02,994 --> 00:03:07,226
Если хочешь хорошо выглядеть,
приходи в магазин. Я тебе помогу.
34
00:03:07,532 --> 00:03:08,897
- Спасибо!
- Конечно.
35
00:03:09,201 --> 00:03:10,691
Пожалуйста, сними их!
36
00:03:14,139 --> 00:03:16,164
Привет, Фибс. Как дела?
37
00:03:16,808 --> 00:03:20,209
Нормально. Я только что
из больницы.
38
00:03:20,812 --> 00:03:22,245
С тобой всё в порядке?
39
00:03:22,481 --> 00:03:25,473
Да.
Но моя бабушка вроде как умерла.
40
00:03:27,018 --> 00:03:28,007
Фибс, как жаль.
41
00:03:28,186 --> 00:03:29,175
Все нормально.
42
00:03:29,421 --> 00:03:31,389
У нее была замечательная жизнь.
43
00:03:31,656 --> 00:03:34,648
И не то чтоб я ее не увижу никогда.
Она ещё навестит меня.
44
00:03:37,262 --> 00:03:39,890
Может она сейчас с нами.
45
00:03:40,165 --> 00:03:45,034
Точно. Она в новой духовной плоскости
и она придет в кофейню.
46
00:03:45,270 --> 00:03:48,728
Я только что видел как двое
занимаются сексом в машине тут недалеко!
47
00:03:51,676 --> 00:03:54,167
Бабушка Фибс только что умерла.
48
00:03:55,413 --> 00:03:57,677
O, боже! Мне жаль.
49
00:03:58,116 --> 00:04:01,210
Вообще то, это даже клёво.
Потому что это как ...
50
00:04:01,553 --> 00:04:04,283
...понимаете, одна жизнь заканчивается
а другая начинается.
51
00:04:06,024 --> 00:04:08,288
Так как они это делали, другая жизнь не начнется.
52
00:04:10,195 --> 00:04:12,857
Что случилось?
Как она умерла?
53
00:04:13,098 --> 00:04:14,224
Мы были в магазине...
54
00:04:14,466 --> 00:04:19,096
...и она наклонилась взять йогурт
и больше не поднялась.
55
00:04:20,372 --> 00:04:21,703
Мне так жаль.
56
00:04:21,907 --> 00:04:23,807
Последнее что она сказала:
57
00:04:24,042 --> 00:04:28,979
"Ты возьми яйца, я возьму йогурт,
встретимся у кассы."
58
00:04:29,581 --> 00:04:30,639
И знаете что?
59
00:04:31,082 --> 00:04:33,482
Мы встретимся у кассы.
60
00:04:41,159 --> 00:04:44,094
Так как тебе придется
всё это вернуть...
61
00:04:44,329 --> 00:04:46,422
...тебе придется носить и трусы.
62
00:04:47,599 --> 00:04:50,397
Хорошо.
Их мне тоже покажи.
63
00:04:52,003 --> 00:04:54,164
Чего-то не хватает.
64
00:05:01,847 --> 00:05:03,576
Правда? Сумочки?
65
00:05:03,782 --> 00:05:06,649
Это не сумочка.
Это сумка на плечо.
66
00:05:07,352 --> 00:05:09,343
Выглядит как женская сумочка.
67
00:05:10,088 --> 00:05:14,149
Поверь мне, все мужчины их носят
в весеннем каталоге.
68
00:05:14,426 --> 00:05:17,088
Видишь, смотри.
Мужчина с сумкой.
69
00:05:17,963 --> 00:05:20,625
Видишь, смотри.
Женщина с сумкой.
70
00:05:28,006 --> 00:05:33,137
Но как странно что женская сумочка
так хорошо выглядит на мне.
71
00:05:34,613 --> 00:05:36,638
Точно. Унисекс!
(звучит как “тебе нужен секс”)
72
00:05:36,948 --> 00:05:40,008
Может тебе нужен секс.
У меня секс был пару дней назад.
73
00:05:41,553 --> 00:05:45,148
Нет, Джоуи.
U-N-I (звучит как “ты и я”) секс.
74
00:05:46,825 --> 00:05:49,191
А этому я не откажусь!
75
00:05:57,836 --> 00:05:59,463
- Кто это?
- Это Фиби.
76
00:05:59,738 --> 00:06:01,137
O, отлично!
77
00:06:02,007 --> 00:06:03,804
O, ты.
78
00:06:04,576 --> 00:06:05,804
Что случилось?
79
00:06:07,812 --> 00:06:11,373
Ну, у меня вроде как плохие новости.
Могу я войти?
80
00:06:12,851 --> 00:06:13,875
Нет, спасибо.
81
00:06:19,557 --> 00:06:21,320
Бабушка сегодня умерла.
82
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,920
Она разве не 5 лет назад умерла?
83
00:06:25,230 --> 00:06:27,596
Нет, она сегодня умерла.
84
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,267
У нас завтра
поминальная служба.
85
00:06:31,503 --> 00:06:34,233
Хорошо, я уже правда ходила.
86
00:06:34,506 --> 00:06:35,939
Нет, ты не ходила!
87
00:06:36,241 --> 00:06:37,731
А кто умирал тогда?
88
00:06:38,009 --> 00:06:39,169
Много кто!
89
00:06:41,746 --> 00:06:43,771
Слушай, ты придешь или нет?
90
00:06:47,686 --> 00:06:50,849
Я думала она уже мертва,
так что я уже пережила.
91
00:06:52,524 --> 00:06:54,287
А ещё я на концерт иду.
92
00:06:54,559 --> 00:06:58,051
Я бы тебя пригласила,
но у меня только 2 билета осталось.
93
00:06:59,698 --> 00:07:04,067
- Хорошо. Ладно, хорошего концерта.
- Спасибо. Хороших похорон!
94
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,713
Вы очень похожи на сына,
Миссис Триббиани.
95
00:07:20,118 --> 00:07:22,951
Что? Ты имеешь в виду
мою мужскую сумку?
96
00:07:24,589 --> 00:07:27,888
Я думал она только выглядит красиво,
но она ещё и практична.
97
00:07:28,326 --> 00:07:32,285
В ней есть отделения
для бумажника, ключей, адресной книжки...
98
00:07:32,464 --> 00:07:33,453
Косметики.
99
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,325
Что ты делаешь?
Прослушивание завтра.
100
00:07:38,603 --> 00:07:41,128
Да, но время для сэндвича сейчас.
101
00:07:41,806 --> 00:07:44,570
Если испачкаешь сумку горчицей,
не сможешь её вернуть.
102
00:07:44,809 --> 00:07:47,607
А зачем мне её возвращать?
Я обожаю эту сумку!
103
00:07:47,846 --> 00:07:51,145
- Хорошо, тогда ты должен мне $350.
- Хорошо.
104
00:07:51,649 --> 00:07:54,641
Вы принимаете Vasa или Mooster Card?
105
00:07:56,955 --> 00:08:02,086
Расслабься, я заплачу тебе деньгами
за работу которую я получу. Благодаря тебе.
106
00:08:02,327 --> 00:08:04,989
Что за роль? Тётушка Мэйм?
107
00:08:05,463 --> 00:08:07,829
Не слушай их.
Мне кажется это сексуально.
108
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,363
Ты-и-я сексуально?
109
00:08:17,475 --> 00:08:20,501
Здравствуйте, миссис Пинилла.
Спасибо что пришли.
110
00:08:20,779 --> 00:08:22,770
Вот ваши 3-D очки.
111
00:08:25,483 --> 00:08:28,111
Преподобный Понг скажет
когда их надевать.
112
00:08:31,823 --> 00:08:33,120
Привет, милая.
113
00:08:33,324 --> 00:08:35,315
- Как ты держишься?
- Хорошо.
114
00:08:35,693 --> 00:08:38,127
Привет, Фибс. Мне так жаль.
115
00:08:39,964 --> 00:08:43,365
Знаешь что?
У моей бабушки была такая же сумка!
116
00:08:44,302 --> 00:08:45,496
Я принес тебе цветы.
117
00:08:45,737 --> 00:08:47,227
O, спасибо!
118
00:08:47,505 --> 00:08:50,406
При вытаскивании из сумки цветов
она ещё более мужской кажется.
119
00:08:53,511 --> 00:08:55,741
Извините, это заупокойная служба?
120
00:08:56,014 --> 00:08:57,504
Добро пожаловать.
121
00:08:57,916 --> 00:08:59,383
Вот ваши 3-D очки.
122
00:08:59,884 --> 00:09:01,317
Хорошо.
123
00:09:03,154 --> 00:09:05,315
Так откуда вы знаете Фрэнсис?
124
00:09:05,523 --> 00:09:08,083
Вообще-то, я её не видел несколько лет.
125
00:09:08,426 --> 00:09:13,090
Но я был довольно близок
с её дочерью.
126
00:09:13,364 --> 00:09:14,524
Как вас зовут?
127
00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:16,427
Фрэнк Буффэ.
128
00:09:19,204 --> 00:09:22,833
Знаете что? Вычеркните это.
Меня зовут Джо.
129
00:09:24,242 --> 00:09:25,732
Джо Хилл.
130
00:09:25,910 --> 00:09:26,899
Вы Фрэнк Буф...
131
00:09:27,212 --> 00:09:29,510
Нет! Джо Хилл.
132
00:09:30,849 --> 00:09:31,838
Вы только что сказали...
133
00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:34,881
Мне пора.
Спасибо что пришли.
134
00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:40,220
O, боже!
135
00:09:40,458 --> 00:09:41,584
Что случилось?
136
00:09:42,026 --> 00:09:43,186
Это был мой отец.
137
00:09:44,896 --> 00:09:46,022
Зацени!
138
00:09:47,031 --> 00:09:49,022
Как будто идет прямо на меня.
139
00:09:58,443 --> 00:10:00,707
- Ты догнала его?
- Что он сказал?
140
00:10:00,945 --> 00:10:04,142
Он сказал, "Приятно познакомиться, Гленда."
141
00:10:05,416 --> 00:10:07,543
Я не могла же сказать настоящее имя.
142
00:10:07,785 --> 00:10:08,877
Почему нет?
143
00:10:09,154 --> 00:10:10,587
Вы видели как он убежал.
144
00:10:10,788 --> 00:10:13,586
Думаете он будет разговаривать
с дочерью которую бросил?
145
00:10:13,825 --> 00:10:15,554
Что ты ему сказала?
146
00:10:15,793 --> 00:10:19,991
Я сказала что я исполнитель завещания
и мне нужно с ним поговорить.
147
00:10:20,265 --> 00:10:23,098
Я встречусь с ним
в кофейне.
148
00:10:23,301 --> 00:10:24,996
Все могут занять свои места?
149
00:10:25,436 --> 00:10:27,927
Я просто не могу об этом сейчас думать.
150
00:10:28,306 --> 00:10:30,604
Я хочу попрощаться с моей бабушкой.
151
00:10:31,409 --> 00:10:32,671
Пойдемте попрощаемся.
152
00:10:45,924 --> 00:10:48,358
Я пошел на прослушивание.
Как я выгляжу?
153
00:10:49,761 --> 00:10:52,321
Отлично!
Эта сумка поможет получить роль.
154
00:10:52,597 --> 00:10:54,189
И свидание с мужчиной.
155
00:10:56,167 --> 00:11:00,263
Знаешь что? Прикалывайся сколько хочешь.
Это отличная сумка.
156
00:11:00,505 --> 00:11:03,167
И очень удобная.
157
00:11:03,474 --> 00:11:07,535
И если ты не понимаешь этого,
это ещё не значит что она плохая.
158
00:11:08,012 --> 00:11:10,947
Вам придется привыкнуть
к тому факту что к Джоуи...
159
00:11:11,683 --> 00:11:13,446
...прилагается сумка!
160
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,311
Мне нужно встретиться с отцом.
161
00:11:17,655 --> 00:11:19,316
Ты расскажешь ему кто ты?
162
00:11:19,557 --> 00:11:22,151
Сначала нет.
Не хочу его напугать.
163
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,294
А ты не злишься на него?
164
00:11:24,529 --> 00:11:26,497
Этот чувак все-таки тебя бросил.
165
00:11:26,698 --> 00:11:30,998
Если б это касалось меня, этот чувак был бы
в серьезной физической опасности.
166
00:11:31,236 --> 00:11:35,969
Я бы подошел так к нему,
и типа, "Эй, папа!"
167
00:11:36,207 --> 00:11:39,404
"Ты и я, на улицу.
Прямо сейчас!"
168
00:11:40,511 --> 00:11:42,206
Я даже сам себя напугал.
169
00:11:43,381 --> 00:11:45,474
Ну, хоть кого-то напугал.
170
00:11:47,385 --> 00:11:49,319
Можно подумать, что я буду злиться.
171
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:53,650
Можно подумать я захочу оторвать
его крошечную маленькую голову!
172
00:11:54,425 --> 00:11:56,757
К счастью, это уже прошло.
173
00:11:57,228 --> 00:12:00,925
Ты кажешься немного напряженной.
Давай я тебе помогу.
174
00:12:01,266 --> 00:12:02,255
Отстань!
175
00:12:03,434 --> 00:12:06,426
Прекрати!
Зачем ты так со мной?
176
00:12:07,238 --> 00:12:08,432
О чем ты?
177
00:12:08,706 --> 00:12:11,504
Как массажистка и человек...
178
00:12:11,843 --> 00:12:15,176
...я прошу тебя,
никогда никому так не делай!
179
00:12:16,214 --> 00:12:17,841
Я делаю хороший массаж.
180
00:12:20,585 --> 00:12:23,213
Я Рэйчел делала
пока у нее аллергия не появилась.
181
00:12:25,923 --> 00:12:28,619
И Чендлеру, ему очень нравится!
Смотри.
182
00:12:30,428 --> 00:12:32,760
Ему не нравится.
Ему больно!
183
00:12:33,031 --> 00:12:35,727
- Нет, ему не больно.
- Да, ему больно!
184
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,692
- Что?
- Прости, но...
185
00:12:44,242 --> 00:12:45,539
Ты мне врал?
186
00:12:45,877 --> 00:12:47,469
Я не могу в это поверить.
187
00:12:47,745 --> 00:12:49,736
Может он не хотел тебя задеть.
188
00:12:49,981 --> 00:12:53,246
Но как только мы начинаем
врать друг другу...
189
00:12:56,621 --> 00:12:57,610
И под "мы"...
190
00:12:58,289 --> 00:12:59,984
...я имею в виду общество.
191
00:13:02,794 --> 00:13:05,126
Как только будешь готов.
192
00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:07,889
Похоже ты здесь новенькая.
193
00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:10,430
Может возьмем столик,
я куплю тебе выпить.
194
00:13:10,735 --> 00:13:12,930
Ты можешь попробовать без сумочки?
195
00:13:15,006 --> 00:13:16,633
Да, конечно.
196
00:13:20,445 --> 00:13:24,245
Похоже ты здесь новенькая.
Может мы сядем...
197
00:13:24,749 --> 00:13:26,273
Могу я кое-что сказать?
198
00:13:26,484 --> 00:13:27,473
Конечно. Что?
199
00:13:27,752 --> 00:13:30,277
Во-первых,
это не сумочка.
200
00:13:32,323 --> 00:13:33,347
Как скажешь.
201
00:13:33,624 --> 00:13:36,024
Если вы думаете
это женская сумка, это не так.
202
00:13:36,294 --> 00:13:38,194
Это мужская сумка.
203
00:13:39,097 --> 00:13:41,657
Ладно. Поехали!
204
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,360
Давайте я вам каталог покажу.
205
00:13:46,003 --> 00:13:47,129
Смотрите. Видите?
206
00:13:48,706 --> 00:13:50,139
Это сейчас модно.
207
00:13:50,375 --> 00:13:53,208
Все их носят.
Мужчины, женщины, дети.
208
00:13:53,511 --> 00:13:54,808
Вы их продаете?
209
00:13:57,482 --> 00:14:00,178
Нет, эти крошки продают себя сами.
210
00:14:01,719 --> 00:14:03,118
Спасибо.
Отлично.
211
00:14:03,621 --> 00:14:05,145
Но я ничего не прочитал.
212
00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:07,517
Думаю мы видели достаточно.
213
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:10,850
Хорошо, до встречи.
214
00:14:11,129 --> 00:14:12,892
Роль наша. Роль наша.
215
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:16,524
Рэйчел здесь?
216
00:14:18,069 --> 00:14:22,836
Слушай, я хотел извиниться
по поводу массажа.
217
00:14:23,574 --> 00:14:25,565
Мне правда понравилось.
218
00:14:26,344 --> 00:14:28,335
Пожалуйста, остановись!
219
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,580
Мы должны быть честными.
220
00:14:31,983 --> 00:14:35,510
Я хотела бы чтоб ты мог мне сказать,
"Мне не нравится твой массаж."
221
00:14:40,224 --> 00:14:42,715
Мне не нравится твой массаж.
222
00:14:44,829 --> 00:14:47,263
Видишь? Все не так страшно.
223
00:14:48,433 --> 00:14:50,264
Но теперь ты плачешь!
224
00:14:50,501 --> 00:14:54,665
Я не из-за этого плачу.
Я плачу из-за работы.
225
00:14:55,873 --> 00:14:59,001
Мой парень сказал
что не любит мой массаж.
226
00:14:59,777 --> 00:15:02,245
Тебе не нужно быть
лучшей во всем.
227
00:15:02,447 --> 00:15:06,110
O, боже!
Ты совсем меня не знаешь!
228
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,888
Ты делаешь самый худший массаж
в мире.
229
00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:14,181
Я же плачу!
230
00:15:14,892 --> 00:15:16,086
Послушай меня.
231
00:15:16,294 --> 00:15:19,627
Ты делаешь самый лучший плохой массаж.
232
00:15:20,565 --> 00:15:23,591
Если кому-то будет нужен
самый лучший плохой массаж...
233
00:15:23,868 --> 00:15:26,132
...и они подумают,
"Кто же лучший?"
234
00:15:26,370 --> 00:15:27,803
И пойдут к тебе.
235
00:15:33,978 --> 00:15:37,209
То есть по-твоему
если бы была награда...
236
00:15:37,448 --> 00:15:41,976
...за лучший плохой массаж...
Кто бы её получил?
237
00:15:42,253 --> 00:15:43,880
Ты!
238
00:15:44,121 --> 00:15:47,249
Ты, Моника!
И за тебя бы все проголосовали.
239
00:15:48,426 --> 00:15:50,826
И они могли бы назвать награду,
"The Monica"?
240
00:15:53,064 --> 00:15:54,258
Абсолютно.
241
00:15:57,602 --> 00:15:59,069
Я отстой!
242
00:16:05,977 --> 00:16:07,604
Спасибо что встретились со мной.
243
00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:09,244
Спасибо.
244
00:16:09,914 --> 00:16:11,347
Садитесь.
245
00:16:13,618 --> 00:16:14,915
Садитесь.
246
00:16:15,319 --> 00:16:16,786
Сядьте!
247
00:16:18,756 --> 00:16:21,657
Хорошо.
До того как мы начнем, мне нужно прояснить...
248
00:16:21,859 --> 00:16:26,023
...для протокола
что вы, на самом деле, Фрэнк Буффэ.
249
00:16:26,297 --> 00:16:28,265
Да.
250
00:16:31,369 --> 00:16:32,961
Что мне оставила Фрэнсис?
251
00:16:34,171 --> 00:16:35,968
Вы же поэтому хотели чтоб я пришёл.
252
00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:40,541
Да, оставила. Она оставила вам...
253
00:16:42,113 --> 00:16:43,944
...эту помаду.
254
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,985
Она использованная.
255
00:16:53,357 --> 00:16:54,722
Классно!
256
00:16:57,495 --> 00:17:02,558
У меня к вам несколько вопросов,
чтобы мне заполнить официальные бланки.
257
00:17:06,070 --> 00:17:08,004
Вопрос 1:
258
00:17:08,706 --> 00:17:12,540
Вы были женаты на дочери
Фрэнсис, Лилли. Правильно?
259
00:17:12,743 --> 00:17:14,734
Да, был.
260
00:17:15,713 --> 00:17:18,341
Вопрос 2:
Ваш брак закончился...
261
00:17:18,583 --> 00:17:20,175
A: Счастливо?
262
00:17:20,484 --> 00:17:22,714
Б: Средне?
263
00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:26,148
Или C: Оставление...
264
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:28,415
...её и её двоих детей?
265
00:17:29,327 --> 00:17:30,521
Прям так там и написано?
266
00:17:30,761 --> 00:17:31,853
Да, видите?
267
00:17:33,898 --> 00:17:36,264
Тогда наверно C.
268
00:17:37,902 --> 00:17:39,563
Оставление.
269
00:17:41,072 --> 00:17:42,767
Причины для оставления:
270
00:17:43,174 --> 00:17:46,405
A: Секретная работа на правительство.
271
00:17:47,011 --> 00:17:48,103
B: Амнезия.
272
00:17:48,379 --> 00:17:51,678
Или C: Вы просто эгоистичный,
безответственный...
273
00:17:51,916 --> 00:17:54,350
...плохой, плохой человек.
274
00:17:54,885 --> 00:17:57,285
Мне особо помада и не нужна.
275
00:17:59,056 --> 00:18:02,355
Можете мне сделать одолжение?
276
00:18:02,593 --> 00:18:04,288
Можете Лилли это ...
277
00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:06,422
...передать, пожалуйста?
278
00:18:07,398 --> 00:18:09,628
Когда увидите Лилли,
передайте ей эту записку.
279
00:18:09,867 --> 00:18:12,267
Я хотел с ней на службе
поговорить...
280
00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:17,537
...но я представил что она рассердиться
как вы, и я испугался.
281
00:18:18,275 --> 00:18:20,743
Я ей записку написал.
Передадите ей, пожалуйста?
282
00:18:20,978 --> 00:18:23,606
Вы пришли повидаться с Лилли?
283
00:18:24,649 --> 00:18:25,707
Да. А что?
284
00:18:26,784 --> 00:18:28,581
Лилли умерла.
285
00:18:30,121 --> 00:18:31,247
Что?
286
00:18:31,656 --> 00:18:32,645
Она умерла.
287
00:18:33,290 --> 00:18:34,279
Вы уверены?
288
00:18:34,592 --> 00:18:37,652
Если нет, её кремация
была большой ошибкой.
289
00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:41,928
Не могу поверить.
Просто не могу поверить...
290
00:18:42,233 --> 00:18:44,929
Как?
O, боже.
291
00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:46,759
Как давно?
292
00:18:47,104 --> 00:18:48,571
17 лет назад.
293
00:18:51,409 --> 00:18:53,343
А девочки?
294
00:18:56,280 --> 00:19:00,148
Ну, Урсула официантка
и живет в Сохо.
295
00:19:02,019 --> 00:19:03,816
А Фиби...
296
00:19:05,589 --> 00:19:07,420
...на этом диване.
297
00:19:15,032 --> 00:19:18,798
Да, помада и дочь.
Большой день для вас!
298
00:19:20,104 --> 00:19:23,039
Фиби, я...
299
00:19:25,509 --> 00:19:28,672
Просто я не знаю что сказать.
300
00:19:30,047 --> 00:19:34,814
Я просто не могу поверить что ты
моя дочь. Ты такая красивая.
301
00:19:36,220 --> 00:19:38,848
Да, ну, это не имеет
значения.
302
00:19:41,158 --> 00:19:43,956
Тебе будет лучше
если я скажу...
303
00:19:44,195 --> 00:19:47,824
...что мне очень очень жаль, что я ушёл?
304
00:19:50,201 --> 00:19:53,364
Неважно что ты скажешь.
Не будет никакой разницы.
305
00:19:53,637 --> 00:19:55,127
Так что можешь идти.
306
00:19:56,907 --> 00:20:01,867
Ну, знаешь, в свою защиту,
я был паршивым отцом.
307
00:20:02,313 --> 00:20:04,838
- Это твоя защита?
- Да.
308
00:20:05,082 --> 00:20:09,075
У меня подгорала молочная смесь,
и я одевал подгузники наоборот.
309
00:20:09,353 --> 00:20:13,915
Я придумал для вас песню,
но от неё вы ещё больше плакали.
310
00:20:14,825 --> 00:20:15,985
Ты сочиняешь песни?
311
00:20:16,227 --> 00:20:19,355
Ну, нет, только одну.
Но она дурацкая.
312
00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:22,396
Так, как там она была?
313
00:20:23,768 --> 00:20:26,760
<i>Сонная девочка, сонная девочка</i>
314
00:20:27,404 --> 00:20:30,202
<i>Почему ты не засыпаешь?</i>
315
00:20:30,841 --> 00:20:33,503
<i>Сонная девочка, сонная девочка</i>
316
00:20:33,778 --> 00:20:35,905
<i>Ты не даешь мне спать</i>
317
00:20:54,932 --> 00:20:56,900
У меня не очень хорошо получается.
318
00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:01,435
А у меня получается.
319
00:21:07,111 --> 00:21:08,100
Пока нет. нет.
320
00:21:14,151 --> 00:21:15,277
Как прослушивание?
321
00:21:15,653 --> 00:21:17,086
Эстель сказала что я не получил роль.
322
00:21:17,354 --> 00:21:20,585
Что? Почему?
Джоуи, ты был к нему так готов.
323
00:21:20,825 --> 00:21:22,156
Я тоже так думал...
324
00:21:22,426 --> 00:21:25,020
...но у людей по подбору актеров
проблемы со мной.
325
00:21:25,296 --> 00:21:26,490
Какие проблемы?
326
00:21:26,831 --> 00:21:29,356
По правде говоря...
327
00:21:29,633 --> 00:21:31,863
...у них проблемы с сумкой!
328
00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:35,964
Знаешь что?
Это была дурацкая пьеса.
329
00:21:36,874 --> 00:21:38,637
Время отдать сумку.
330
00:21:39,109 --> 00:21:41,475
Я не хочу отдавать сумку.
331
00:21:41,946 --> 00:21:44,437
Мне же не нужно отдавать её,
да, Рэйч?
332
00:21:47,852 --> 00:21:50,286
Ты считаешь мне нужно отдать сумку!
333
00:21:50,621 --> 00:21:54,990
Джоуи, мне жаль. Как бы потрясающе
ты с ней не выглядел...
334
00:21:57,127 --> 00:22:01,894
...не думаю что мир
готов к тебе и сумке.
335
00:22:04,368 --> 00:22:05,960
Не могу поверить!
336
00:22:06,203 --> 00:22:09,400
Подожди, я не говорю
что у тебя вообще не должно быть сумки.
337
00:22:10,674 --> 00:22:14,838
Есть другие сумки
которые может быть менее...
338
00:22:15,579 --> 00:22:17,069
...неоднозначны.
339
00:22:18,148 --> 00:22:20,810
Да, их ещё бумажниками называют.
340
00:22:23,621 --> 00:22:25,350
Да, ты права.
341
00:22:25,522 --> 00:22:27,922
Но мы с этой сумкой
уже как единое целое.
342
00:22:28,092 --> 00:22:31,152
Это как... моя сумка.
343
00:22:31,795 --> 00:22:34,593
В ней было место для всего.
344
00:22:35,666 --> 00:22:37,531
- Вот блин.
- Что?
345
00:22:37,701 --> 00:22:42,832
Здесь есть ещё целый отдел с кармашками,
о котором я не знал. Рэйч, смотри.
346
00:22:46,977 --> 00:22:49,571
Урсула, у меня есть самая
потрясающая новость на свете.
347
00:22:49,747 --> 00:22:51,908
Я нашла нашего отца.
348
00:22:52,082 --> 00:22:53,572
Фиби.
349
00:22:56,553 --> 00:23:00,785
Твоя сестра.
И я нашла нашего отца.
350
00:23:00,991 --> 00:23:04,222
Джон Гленн?
Джон Гленн - не наш отец.
351
00:23:04,628 --> 00:23:08,530
Нет, я не буду вместе с тобой
подавать на него в суд.
352
00:23:11,068 --> 00:23:13,229
Какая разница, что его
не было рядом, когда мы росли.
353
00:23:13,404 --> 00:23:15,531
Он - не наш отец.
354
00:23:16,473 --> 00:23:18,941
Что ты имеешь в виду:
"А это уже решит суд"?
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